


Never Enough

by attitude28



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2019-10-08 03:30:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 93,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17378756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/attitude28/pseuds/attitude28
Summary: All kinds of one-shots related to the WenSeul/SeulDy pairing.





	1. Check The Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy finds a sweet note stuck to her fridge with an interesting question written in it

The sun filtered through the curtains of a room. Birds sang full of energy, cars buzzed fast in the middle of the street, children shouted excited ready for a new day at school. Wendy opened her eyes quickly when the digital clock next to her bed rang with a loud alarm, a sign that she should get her morning going.

By pure instinct she stretched her hand to the opposite side of the bed and found it empty, cold but with ruffled sheets looking like a total mess. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and yawned loudly... why wasn't her girlfriend at her side? It was so strange... She usually slept soundly despite the noisy alarm; with her mouth open, softly snoring and drool dripping down one of the corners of her mouth. But now, Wendy couldn't find her: the shower wasn't running and there was no smell of food coming from the kitchen. Had Seulgi gone to work without following her daily routine in the morning?

Wendy, who was just starting to wake up, rubbed her eyes again and sat on the bed running a hand over her face in a desperate attempt to return to her current life and get rid of that voice in the back of her head that almost forced her go back to bed, forget her job at the bakery and sleep for hours.

She got out of bed, ruffled her hair softly and went to the bathroom to wash her face and take a bath. Her brain would work better after the shower's warm water turned the gears inside her head and tried to solve the mystery of where the hell was Seulgi.

Once she was ready, she took a blue button-up shirt from her closet, black pants and heels of the same color. She would try to go to the bakery with the most comfortable outfit she could find and enjoy the long day of work ahead... especially in the morning where everyone wanted to get a piece of their favorite bread to go along their coffee or complement their breakfast. She tied her hair in a ponytail and then walked to the kitchen to make breakfast

In the middle of her journey, she took her phone out of her pocket and dialed Seulgi's number a couple of times. Each one of the calls yielded the same result: out of service. Wendy began to worry just a bit, what the hell was so important to her girlfriend that she couldn't even say goodbye to her in the morning? With a frustrated sigh, Wendy walked to the kitchen and threw her phone on the table that covered a whole quarter of the place

But her eyes rested on the note in the refrigerator. So after all Seulgi had left her a note

The note did not contain what Wendy expected

Instead of telling her where she was, the note read "Will you marry me?" in capital letters decorated with orange and blue hearts on one side and another. Under the question were two check boxes; the first one said "Yes" the second said "Definitely" Wendy wasn't supposed to feel that way but she couldn't help but feel a lump in her throat and feel full of nostalgia

Seulgi used the exact same method seven years ago to ask her out on their first ever date, when both were in high school too full of illusions and dreams. When both still had some innocence in each of their words and enjoyed forts made out of pillows and whole nights laughing in front of the TV with silly comedy movies. When Wendy dreamed of an entire life at Seulgi's side and thanked fate for creating the term 'soul mates' because that meant they could be together forever. That meant that 'forever' was more than just a word

She still remembered how shy Seulgi looked that day when she handed her the note, a slight blush covering her cheeks alongside a sweet, soft smile grazing her features. Wendy couldn't hold back her own emotions and she nodded excitedly and then hugged tightly the girl who was her best friend. Seulgi then gave her one of those beautiful eye-smiles that everyone loved and Wendy learned to treasure those moments as if they were a chest full of gold.

Without wanting to, she couldn't help but spill a couple of tears and let out a soft laugh

"Idiot..." Wendy muttered as she searched for a pen to answer the note "How can you ask me that and then leave?"

"I'm here Wannie"

A calm voice came from her back and Wendy immediately turned around as she recognized that soft tone. As soon as she turned around she found Seulgi on her knee, between her hands was a velvet box with a beautiful ring of delicate decorations. The piece of jewelry was so beautiful that Wendy wondered how much Seulgi had saved just so she could buy something like that

Wendy opened her eyes in surprise and took both of her hands to her mouth to contain her surprise

"So? What is your answer?"

Wendy tackled Seulgi hard to the ground. The girl answered with a light squeal before letting out a laugh due of her girlfriend's euphoria and kept a steel grip on the velvet box.

"Yes. Definitely" Wendy answered with her face hidden between Seulgi's neck 

"You checked two boxes" Seulgi joked, laughing 

Both looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds before laughing again at the suddenness of it all. Seulgi took advantage of the proximity to put the ring on Wendy's hand with almost excessive care, she couldn't believe what was happening and that her high school sweetheart told her that longed 'yes'. Perhaps the most important 'yes' of her life

Wendy looked at the ring on her finger with tenderness. Seulgi looked at it with a sparkle in her eyes so full of love and a smile so wide that it went from ear to ear. She looked into her now fiancee's eyes and laughed again before taking her hand in hers and kissing her knuckles 

"I love you Wendy" 

"I love you too Seul... really"

They shared a brief kiss amid laughter 

"Ready to be Mrs. Kang?"

"Of course not! Kang Seungwan sounds old-fashioned. I'm taking the Son surname to my grave" 

Seulgi laughed out loud

“Yes, definitely"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted this on AFF since long ago. Posting it here at the request of someone. Hope y'all like this


	2. Beyond Money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seulgi and Wendy are going through the aftermaths of a divorce. But when their family is in danger...does it really matter if they're no longer a couple?

"When will we meet again, mommy?"  
  
That question broke Seulgi's heart more than anything else  
  
Seulgi turned to look at her four-year-old son, his brown eyes full of curiosity. A look that seemed so familiar to Seulgi because they reminded her of how much she still loved his mother, reminded her of failed promises and the happiness of her wedding day when it never even crossed her mind that she would be dealing with the side effects of a divorce...  
  
Six years of marriage and everything had gone down the drain thanks to one thing: money. That cruel tyrant who drives people mad and sick, it rots and poisons the soul with the fury of a cyclone. Money was always lacking at home no matter how much Seulgi tried to avoid it. The court had decided in that lawsuit that Seulgi didn't have enough resources to take care of her son and therefore the custody would go to her other mother, Seulgi could only visit him every weekend  
  
Which brings us to the current scene  
  
Mother and son were in front of the door of Wendy's house. The boy had to return home at seven o'clock in the evening of a Sunday, without fail. Seulgi crouched down to be able to match her son height  
  
"The next weekend Junnie, I'll pick you up after school" the woman smiled forcefully and prayed to heavens that her son couldn't tell the difference between a fake smile and a real one. She was holding back the tears with all her might. "For now you should stay with mom, remember?"  
  
The boy said nothing and just looked at Seulgi with confused eyes  
  
Seulgi pulled him into a tight hug and then held him up in the air... god, she would miss the little boy for the whole week. He hugged her as hard as he could and planted a long kiss on her cheek when she rang the doorbell... she knew that Wendy would scold her with all kinds of words because it was at least half an hour after seven but what could she do? Time flew by when she was next to the one she loved with all her heart  
  
The door of the house opened quickly and behind it, Wendy emerged with a floral sundress and a white apron covered in some kind of icing. Her face reflected a combination of anguish and anger but as soon as she saw the scene in front of her eyes; Seulgi and her son in a tight embrace, everything was erased from her mind and the only thing Wendy did was let out a long frustrated sigh. Seulgi gave her a shaky smile before putting the boy on the ground  
  
"Here... here he is" Seulgi spoke shyly "Sorry about the delay"  
  
Wendy looked at the little boy who was already beginning to wipe away his tears and sob in silence.  
  
"I hope you didn't cause much trouble Kang Junho"  
  
'Junho' looked at Wendy with teary eyes and nodded a couple of times before entering the house without saying anything else. He was obviously angry and it would be something Wendy would have to deal with shortly... meanwhile Wendy looked at Seulgi again who also wiped her tears and was ready to leave  
  
"I'll see you next weekend" her tone of voice didn't change. She made a gesture with her hand and turned around  
  
"Seulgi. Wait "Wendy raised her voice to stop her almost immediately  
  
Seulgi turned around to look at her curiously  
  
"It's the third weekend that you bring him past the hour..."  
  
"I-I'm... I'm sorry" the woman lowered her gaze and started sobbing again "Time goes by very fast when I'm with him and... I'm sorry Wendy"  
  
Wendy sighed and ran a hand through her hair  
  
"If you go on like this, the court is going to take away your custody completely... is that what you want, Seulgi? Do you want to not see him anymore?"  
  
Wendy felt her chest tighten after seeing Seulgi's desperate expression. She looked so full of fear that Wendy just wanted to take a step forward and wrap her in a tight hug to calm her down. Seulgi cried harder and frantically shook her head  
  
"N-no! Of course not! I...!"  
  
It was impossible to control the pain on her chest and the sobs shook her body like a furious ocean breeze. Seulgi covered her mouth to try and calm down but it had no result and Wendy... Wendy couldn't help feeling that something in her ended up breaking forever before that miserable image...  
  
Was the divorce really worth?  
  
"They already took everything away from me..." whispered Seulgi when she could control herself "I don't want to lose him too…"  
  
I also lost everything  
  
Wendy wanted to talk but the right words didn't come out of her mouth and instead of giving her the right reassurance she only ended up sounding cold and without feelings.  
  
"Then bring Junho on time every weekend"  
  
Seulgi looked at her with wide eyes, red from so much crying. She opened her mouth to say something but no words came out, just an empty moan and a bigger need to cry. She nodded slowly, like a scolded child who has no choice but to indulge in his punishment, and turned around after drying her tears  
  
"Ok... I'll see you next weekend"  
  
Wendy wanted to stop her one more time, this time to ask for an apology and tell her that she had not thought what she said, she wanted to hold her and wipe each one of her tears... but Wendy didn't have the solution to their problems, for now she couldn't do anything for her...  
  
And she only saw her walking slowly to the bus stop to not see her again until next week.  
  
***  
  
Wendy was lying on her bed, Junho was curled up beside her. Since the divorce finished, her son was sleeping with her in the same bed she'd once shared with Seulgi. The poor child had developed a kind of nocturnal terror when he was alone in his room so to avoid it, Wendy slept beside him. Junho also slept next to a small brown teddy bear (Wendy was sure that he did it only because it reminded her of Seulgi but he wouldn't say anything in fear of angering his other mom)  
  
After Seulgi left, Wendy spent more than half an hour comforting her son with promises of vanilla ice cream and the chocolate brownies she had baked all afternoon until his tears finally disappeared and Junho agreed to take a bath afterwards and go to sleep next to his mother.  
  
Wendy tried to understand him; She tried to understand him with all her strength and all the maternal instincts she had in her heart. Junho was barely three years old when they started the divorce process and it was all confusing for him. His last birthday, instead of celebrating it with joy and a huge party, was spent in the court hearing the sentence that benefited Wendy due to her economic position and left Seulgi with nothing...  
  
Seulgi was a painter, all her life she had loved creating art and representing her feelings on a blank canvas. But her work wasn't that well paid on most occasions and that meant that money was lacking at home most of the time. Wendy didn't care a tiny bit, if she had Seulgi everything was fine. She used to believe that love could solve everything.  
  
Until Junho got sick  
  
Junho was always a fragile baby. He was born smaller than the average babies and, although his development wasn't atrophied in any way, he had really bad luck with all kinds of sicknesses. One winter day he went to the hospital with such a tremendous pneumonia that the usual medicines didn't work as expected. Seulgi and Wendy had to resort to expensive treatments that drained all their savings for the next family vacations where they would go to Canada to meet his grandparents and his aunt...  
  
Fortunately Junho recovered and they returned home  
  
Wendy started looking for different jobs until the fatigue was too much and she couldn't deal with the pressure of not having enough to give her son a decent life and the necessary comforts. One day, fed up with everything, she chose to divorce Seulgi and seek progress on the other hand without caring about her partner's feelings or how much she would change her routine day by day.  
  
She still remembered the look of pain that Seulgi had given her that day when she arrived with the divorce papers  
  
Seulgi still believed that love could solve everything. Wendy knew that was a lie  
  
"Mom" Junho's little voice echoed on the walls of the room and Wendy stroked his hair sweetly  
  
"What is it, love?"  
  
"Do you hate mommy?"  
  
Wendy was surprised by the question  
  
"What are you saying, honey...?"  
  
"You and mommy used to play and share those yucky kisses that always made you laugh and you were always hugging each other and then one day mommy wasn't home anymore and I have to go to that ugly apa-apart-apartment where mommy lives now. Do you hate her now?"  
  
The woman with brown hair left a long kiss on the boy's forehead  
  
"Of course not, my love. Seul.... mommy and I don't hate each other in any way. She loves you and always asks for you, every day she calls to ask me if you're okay. We don't hate each other"  
  
Junho let out a long, loud gasp and broke away from the hug to look at Wendy with eyes full of excitement as he tightened the teddy bear in his arms  
  
"Does that mean mommy is coming back?!"  
  
"Honey... no, honey. Mommy can't come back for now."  
  
The way the boy's expression fell so hard made Wendy hate herself a little and wonder once more if the whole divorce was really worth it, if a good salary could replace Seulgi's hugs in the middle of the night. And although Wendy was her biological mother, Junho's expression was too similar to the one Seulgi had given her that miserable day...  
  
Tears filled the little boy's eyes once more  
  
Wendy immediately tried to stop them. She cradled his face in her hands and stroked the rosy, chubby cheeks with her thumbs.  
  
"No, honey, don't cry anymore..."  
  
"I just want mommy to come back!" Junho shouted in the middle of his frustration without being able to express his feelings in any other way. "I want mommy!"  
  
Wendy hugged her son tightly and let him cry all he needed to cry while she kept whispering sweet nothings in his ear and telling him everything would be fine no matter how much the world throws at them. Everything would be fine because they were together and because Mom would protect him from all danger.  
  
Junho fell asleep after hours of crying, completely exhausted until his throat went dry.  
  
As soon as he fell asleep, Wendy burst into tears  
  
She also needed Seulgi  
  
***  
A couple of days went by since that farewell fiasco  
  
Seulgi looked at the canvas in front of her, she was about to finish her most recent work  
  
Painting had always been the way where she drew all her frustrations and bad feelings. It was the healthiest method she could think of to let off steam and continue her life. The brush slid on the paper with a faint orange color until Seulgi got the result she wanted.  
  
She had worked on that portrait for days  
  
On the canvas was a woman. She was naked, sitting on a bed while dawn painted the sky and reflected through her window. The woman had her head turned to the side, looking over her shoulder with a gentle smile on her lips. Seulgi continues to define the features of her muse until she got the result she expected...  
  
The woman was Wendy and the scene, the last time Seulgi had awakened by her side  
  
That was the way she kept remembering her, her most vivid memory out of everything they lived before. Even more so than the day they were married and Wendy looked so beautiful in her long white dress and her hair falling in a brunette cascade down past her shoulders. Seulgi never wanted to forget that morning for any reason  
  
"Good morning Seul"  
  
"What are you doing awake at this time? Go back to sleep..."  
  
"I was just thinking... nothing too important"  
  
Seulgi closed her eyes and sighed. She still could feel the taste of Wendy's skin, the trembling of her body under her hands, the soft "I love you's" and all the messy kissing. What did she have to do to be able to return to those days where she was happy?  
  
Just as she was about to go to sleep and tide up her workplace, her phone rang insistently. Seulgi raised an eyebrow. Who could call her right now? It was about three in the morning  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Seul..." the voice on the other side of the phone was too damn obvious, Seulgi thought the worst "You have to come to the hospital immediately... Junnie... Junnie is very sick Seul..."  
  
Suddenly nothing mattered anymore  
  
"In which hospital are you?"  
  
"The hospital in the center... hurry up"  
  
"I'm coming"  
  
Seulgi barely got rid of her paint-covered clothes before rushing out of the shabby apartment where she lived. Luckily she had gotten a bike in recent days so she could save enough money for a second-hand car.  
  
She sprinted hard through the streets without caring for any traffic signals or the rest of the drivers. The wind was pounding in her face and the only thing that crossed her mind was her family... her family and how much she loved them. The hospital soon glowed as she turned into a corner and Seulgi used all her strength to reach it. Once there, she left the bicycle at the entrance of the place and ran to reception  
  
"Miss!" She spoke with a breathless voice "Do you have information about Kang Junho? He's my son! I need you to tell me something!"  
  
"Please calm down... the child can only receive visits from his family and you are not registered"  
  
Seulgi felt that her soul left her body  
  
Until a voice interrupted  
  
"It's his mother" it said "Let her pass please"  
  
Seulgi turned around to look at the owner of the voice and a sigh left her lips as she forgot completely of the world surrounding them. Wendy ran to her and they hugged each other tightly, ignoring that they weren't supposed to have that contact now that they had been divorced for more than six months. Seulgi broke away from the embrace and cradled Wendy's face in her hands, wiping the tears on her cheeks  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"He... he had a high fever, he couldn't sleep and he complained between dreams. He had a lot of fever Seul and I didn't know what to do... the doctors are checking him right now and... I'm scared"  
  
Wendy cried again this time letting the sobs control her  
  
"I'm afraid something will happen to him, Seul..."  
  
Seulgi did it out of pure instinct, out of a natural impulse of protection. She didn't think about it not even for a second  
  
She kissed Wendy  
  
And Wendy kissed her back  
  
Her lips moved gently over her ex-wife's in a touch full of gentleness and absent of all kinds of lust. Seulgi still had Wendy's face between her hands and caressed her cheeks gently, trying to erase all the anxiety and fear from the body of the person she loved so much and with whom she had shared so much of her life.  
  
It was at that moment that they realized that the divorce had actually been a hasty decision. They never stopped loving each other, they both could feel the way their lips fit perfectly as if they had never been away even for a second. After a while, Seulgi broke the contact and looked into Wendy's eyes, that look that had captivated her forever. Wendy had stopped crying but her eyes were still teary  
  
"It's going to be fine... we'll be fine" said Seulgi ignoring the lump in her throat  
  
Wendy could only hold her tightly. She didn't care if everything was a mere hallucination, she just wanted to be close to Seulgi  
  
It was almost two hours after they got information about their son. Wendy was sleeping on Seulgi's shoulder when the doctor asked about the child's relatives. Both mothers got up faster than the drop of a hat and walked towards the doctor  
  
"How is he?" Wendy was the first to speak  
  
"He's stable since it wasn't serious, the little guy is just under too much stress lately. What is going on at home?"  
  
"Uhm... divorce" Seulgi answered with her gaze on the ground  
  
"I see" the doctor continued "For now let him rest, you can see him in the morning at visiting time... and please... try to keep him out of all this"  
  
The doctor went lost in the corridors of the hospital while Wendy and Seulgi stared in his direction before hugging each other tightly, too relieved by the news to care about the rest of the world.  
  
***  
  
"Don't insist Seulgi, please"  
  
"Wendy... you kissed me ... I know you still love me, I know this wasn't because you were scared..."  
  
"Seulgi, enough"  
  
"We can make it and you know that... let's try again"  
  
Seulgi and Wendy were in the hospital cafeteria after they had gone to visit their son inside his room. The boy was ecstatic to see their mothers together once again and also because they had let him keep his teddy bear while he was inside. At the pace at which he recovered he would surely be discharged in a few days  
  
"How are you so sure that we will make it this time?"  
  
"Because we have each other"  
  
"Love isn't everything Seulgi... Junho does not eat out of love"  
  
"I know... I know... but money won't give him happiness either. Wendy... it's not money what he needs"  
  
Seulgi lay her hand over the weathered wooden table so she could take Wendy's hand and stroke her knuckles. Just at that moment she realized that the brunette woman had never got rid of her wedding ring... she still kept it on her finger and it shone as bright as ever  
  
Wendy sighed and felt the tears piling in her throat once more  
  
"Seul... I don't want to live the same thing years ago when Junnie was a baby... I don't want him to lack anything"  
  
"Wendy...he won't lack anything... he'll have us, we'll love him and we'll make an effort. But the first step is to be together... I promise that I'll look for a job,I'll stop painting if necessary... let's try it, I'm begging you. If we are together everything will be different, you won't have to suffer alone anymore, we are supposed to take care of each other"  
  
Wendy holds Seulgi's hand tightly  
  
"In sickness and in health, remember?"  
  
Seulgi kissed her hand softly. Wendy felt her eyes water  
  
"Okay..." Wendy gave her a wide smile "Let's try it one more time... "  
  
***  
  
Two months have passed since Junho ended at the hospital  
  
After that mishap, Wendy and Seulgi returned to live together as the family they were before. Junho never stopped jumping out of excitement after the news and kept questioning if everything was a lie. The fact that he saw his mothers again made him scream with excitement. The afternoons in front of the television watching movies came back, Wendy complained again about the empty cans of Pringles scattered throughout the room and Seulgi was again greeted by a brown haired, pocket-sized missile every morning  
  
In the middle of that moving from Seulgi's messy apartment to her previous house, Wendy found a medium-sized painting covered by a sheet  
  
Wendy thought that maybe it was something meaningless that Seulgi had made a common day until she saw who was the person in the painting...  
  
Secretly, without even telling the people she trusted the most, she sent the painting to a famous gallery in the city  
  
And that's how Seulgi got a place to exhibit her works and soon everyone was delighted with that piece of the intriguing woman and the beauty that was portrayed on it. Great experts began to appreciate the enormous effort of Seulgi and now the painter had all kinds of offers from all around the globe  
  
Just now, Seulgi was in front of the painting with Wendy hugging her waist while they both watched it.  
  
"Incredible" a man approached and admired the painting "What inspired this work Seulgi-ssi?"  
  
Seulgi turned to look at Wendy with a smile on her lips and left a long kiss on her. The woman in her arms just smiled full of confidence  
  
"I don't know... there are things that bring you happiness suddenly and that's what inspires me"  
  
Wendy smiled widely when she gave one last look at the painting and managed to read the title of the work  
  
Beyond money


	3. Kingdom Come

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omegaverse. Wendy and Seulgi have a successful career and a loving marriage until a certain morning changes everything

"N-ngh! Seulgi!"  
  
Wendy moaned without any fear after a especially hard thrust from her wife. She had touched a spot that was driving her mad and making her arch her back on the bed while a new moan came from between her lips. She felt Seulgi's lips trace her jawline and neck gently before whispering in her ear.  
  
"Are you close?" Her voice came out like a sensual whisper that sent electric shocks along Wendy's body.  
  
"Y-yes! Don't stop!"  
  
Seulgi took one of her legs and lifted it against her shoulder as she reached the depths of her body and Wendy held a gasp in her throat, opening her mouth without making any sound, with so many sensations there were no words that could describe what she was feeling. Seulgi looked at the scene in front of her with half-lidded eyes: her wife blushing, panting and moaning at the pleasure, her hands clinging tightly to the sheets... she wouldn't stand much longer  
  
"I have to pull out" said Seulgi breathless and still moving her hips  
  
"No..." Wendy answered as she stretched one of her hands and held Seulgi's wrist tightly "No please... don't pull out, come inside"  
  
Seulgi couldn't ignore the throb that ran through her member at such words, she tried to pretend that it didn't cause any pleasure to her inner alpha to hear her omega being so submissive... but her rational part struggled to keep sanity. She couldn't knot Wendy even if her body screamed for it... she shouldn't  
  
Because Seulgi shouldn't have dreams related to a family, or little brown eyes looking at her with curiosity or disappearing in two crescent moons, she shouldn't dream of curious questions, much less of small fingers stained with food. Wendy didn't want that and therefore Seulgi didn't either...  
  
But her instincts were winning  
  
Forgetting her sane part, she bent over Wendy's body and buried her face in the crook of her neck licking the bonding mark that was there and  surrendering completely to her animal side while Wendy let out a long moan after feeling Seulgi's knot entering her body without mercy. Seulgi stood still as she emptied herself inside her wife and let the orgasm consume them like an incessant fire  
  
A few moments went by before the only thing that would be heard in the room were gasps and rough breathing.  
  
Seulgi looked at Wendy again. The animal side had disappeared to be replaced by a need for tenderness and protection. The alpha left another kiss on the bonding mark and got away slightly from Wendy's body to be able to kiss her lips. The kiss was brief, both still too breathless to make it longer. Wendy caressed her alpha cheek as soon as the kiss ended  
  
"I love you..." She whispered with a smile on her face "I love you so much"  
  
"I love you too" answered Seulgi with a bright eye-smile that Wendy found too cute; It was the complete opposite of the wild side that she'd just seen and felt a few minutes ago  
  
Wendy felt tired and satisfied without knowing the emotional battle that Seulgi fought right now because while the alpha spooned her omega from behind she couldn't help feeling a strong burden on her chest that suffocated her and filled her with anguish. She was praying to anyone who was out there that Wendy wouldn't reflect on the things that they just done...  
  
Seulgi wondered how much time she should keep quiet  
  
***  
  
It was the third day in a row that Wendy woke up with dizziness and vomit  
  
Se didn't want to say anything to Seulgi because that's how she was: she never wanted to worry her wife no matter how much it would take to keep quiet. Seulgi had enough with her work as a singer so that Wendy will only worry her a little more with her sickness that was surely due to how much she had eaten cake in recent days. After all it had been a gift from Joy after she gave her a song for her birthday, she couldn't waste it  
  
Wendy worked as a songwriter, usually had very large workloads and was busy 24/7 with the biggest hits of the most famous artists across the nation and the world. Her works were recognized throughout the globe for being beautiful and well structured pieces, with romantic and striking lyrics full of metaphors and beautiful comparisons. Thanks to that work she had met Seulgi a couple of years ago and immediately there was an incredible chemistry that attracted the attention of the media as a "match made in heaven"  
  
The omega couldn't complain about Seulgi: she was a kind and attentive person all the time, always giving love to those around her without caring who they were or if they were a close friend of hers, she was always paying attention to Wendy and also she was an excellent lover in bed. Wendy couldn't complain. Seulgi was everything she could ask for  
  
Recently they were riding on their most recent hit called "Kingdom Come". Wendy was in a creative block one day and, desperate for content, resorted to her old memories with Seulgi until she found her vows. The phrase "I got you and you got me, love you 'til kingdom comes" turned into the snowball down the slope and from then on it composed one of the biggest hits of the year. Of course, it immediately called everyone's attention when Seulgi sang it for the first time in a television program and dedicated it to "the most important person in her life"  
  
After promoting Kingdom Come they would have a time to rest before recording a new song, time they didn't hesitate to use in dating and melting into the sheets  
  
Which led to the current situation  
  
Wendy held a pregnancy test between her trembling fingers. Two black lines confirmed what she feared since her heat never came since two weeks ago  
  
She was pregnant  
  
At the best moment of her career, at the highest point of her success. When she was happiest with Seulgi. She was pregnant with Seulgi's baby...  
  
She felt as if a new round of dizziness went through her body. This couldn't happen, it shouldn't happen because a baby was too much, a baby was a very careful choice and it was a new life to take care of, she couldn't just have him like that... she would have to take care of him throughout his life. Wendy was terrified of the idea of raising a baby just because she didn't have the time to raise a baby. At least not when she was better off in her career...  
  
She held one hand to her still flat stomach and felt like crying. Seulgi would jump with excitement at the news but... how would her smile fade when she told her that she didn't want that baby?  
  
"Wan?" Seulgi's voice was muffled outside the bathroom door where Wendy had been for several minutes. "Are you all right, honey?"  
  
How would she tell the truth?  
  
She opened the door with the test in her hands. Seulgi looked at her full of confusion and concern  
  
"Wan... do you feel really bad, love? We can go to the doctor immediately if you want"  
  
"I'm pregnant"  
  
Seulgi blinked twice and then shifted her gaze to the pregnancy test that Wendy held. Her eyes filled with tears slowly and Wendy felt that she was dying a little more  
  
"Pregnant? You aren't joking, right...?"  
  
"Why would I play with something like that, Seul? Of course not"  
  
"Oh god, Wannie! You are pregnant!"  
  
Seulgi then wrapped her in a tight hug and lifted her off the floor as she repeated over and over again completely excited that she was pregnant. Soon her excitement ended and Seulgi cradled Wendy's face between her hands, leaving a long kiss on her lips  
  
"We're going to be parents, Wannie! We are going to be parents!"  
  
But then Seulgi realized that Wendy wasn't smiling or jumping with her, she was crying without any sign of happiness on her face. The excitement of Seulgi immediately died as she caressed her wife's cheeks while she kept looking into her eyes, those brown eyes that she hoped her kid had  
  
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"  
  
Wendy removed Seulgi's hands from her cheeks and shook her head  
  
"I don't want to have it Seul"  
  
Seulgi felt a bucket of cold water on her body. It was a rude awakening. She thought that maybe Wendy had changed her mind and that now they could finally start a family but her hopes had just been crushed... she had spent so much time without feeling the pain of rejection that she had forgotten how much it hurt  
  
"You... you don't want to have it...?"  
  
Seulgi's voice sounded so small, so fragile as a child asking why Santa Claus didn't bring him the gift he asked for all year. Wendy let out a sob and cried harder because it broke her heart, she couldn't break her mate heart like this  
  
"I'm sorry Seul... but a child now would just stop us. We wouldn't move in our careers... it needs time and care that we can't give... I don't want it Seulgi"  
  
Seulgi placed both hands on her own face to cry, sobbing so hard that she looked to be out of breath. Wendy wanted to get close to hug her but she immediately pulled away from her touch. Seulgi wiped her tears before looking at Wendy with her broken heart etched in her pupils and the pain embracing her soul  
  
"It's okay..." whispered Seulgi "It's okay... If you... you don't have to have it... it's okay..."  
  
"Seul..." Wendy tried to get closer again but Seulgi stepped back "Seul, I'm sorry..."  
  
Seulgi shook her head as a new pair of tears rolled down her cheeks and she wiped them as quickly as possible before walking away from Wendy  
  
"I need some air..."  
  
Wendy stood in the middle of nowhere after Seulgi slammed the door and left. The omega felt unable to stand up and dropped to her knees on the floor, the pregnancy test dropping right in front of her eyes  
  
***  
  
Seulgi didn't return home until after midnight  
  
Her usual rose scent had been corrupted by the smell of tobacco and alcohol. As soon as Wendy heard the sound of the front door opening and the jingling of keys falling on the table where they normally left them, she ran to the front door and hugged her tightly. The combination of smells made her break away from her wife and look at her with judging eyes  
  
"You were drinking... and smoking. That's not 'taking air' "  
  
Seulgi looked at her with almost the same eyes  
  
"I needed more than air. I couldn't numb the pain"  
  
Wendy felt a twinge of pain in her chest at those words, she was causing a horrible pain to Seulgi with that attitude and right now she was wondering if she was too selfish. Seulgi just looked at her one more time before walking to the room they shared and taking her pillow next to a couple of clean sheets and began placing them on the widest sofa in the room. Wendy looked at her with surprise  
  
"Seul... what are you doing?"  
  
"I can't sleep by your side" she answered almost dryly, without emotion. The tears that ran down her face betrayed the emotions she felt "I need... I need to think everything..."  
  
Wendy felt something infuriating her, she never knew what the hell it was that made her raise her voice suddenly  
  
"Why are you blaming me for a decision?! A baby is not what I want! "  
  
"And have you stopped for a while to think what I want?!" Seulgi replied back, tears still falling down her face. Wendy took a scared step back... Seulgi normally didn't have any alpha behaviors even at the most critical moments. Wendy knew that this definitely hurt her  
  
Silence covered the room  
  
"I love you so much and I would never judge you for a decision that is yours alone" Seulgi broke the silence a moment later between sobs as she wiped the traces of tears from her cheeks. Wendy soon began to cry too "But it hurts that you don't even notice my own choices... you're talking about our child Wendy... it's..."  
  
Seulgi's voice broke  
  
"I always dreamed of having a family with you..."  
  
There was another period of silence  
  
"I'm so sorry" continued Seulgi between sobs "If I hadn't knotted you that day none of this would be happening... forgive me"  
  
Seulgi slipped under the sheets she had gotten, those that had Wendy's vanilla scent etched on the fabric  
  
"Tomorrow we'll go to the clinic to have the abortion done"  
  
Seulgi's words were etched on Wendy's mind with fury. She couldn't sleep for a single second throughout the night. Deep inside, she wondered if it was due to the choice she had to make or the fact that Seulgi never stopped crying until four in the morning.  
  
***  
  
Wendy dreamed very often with her wedding day, maybe because that day had been the happiest of her life  
  
She also used to dream of their first time where they were both too fearful of their actions and where Seulgi had left the bonding mark on her neck  
  
"I got you, you got me. Love you 'til kingdom comes"  
  
What if this metaphorical kingdom had finally arrived?  
  
Wendy always dreamed of those words but that night she had a different dream: Seulgi was sitting in a rocking chair, there was a very small baby on her chest with just a patch of dark hair and curious brown eyes clinging to the fabric of Seulgi's blouse. At certain point the little one began to complain and sob, Seulgi immediately patted its back and left a long kiss on their head to then speak with the sweetest voice that Wendy had ever heard her use.  
  
"Shhh shhh shhh baby. You must let mom sleep a little. Mom tried so hard for you to be here so you should let her rest, ok?"  
  
Seulgi started rocking slowly and humming a lullaby with that melodic voice of hers.  
  
Wendy felt a huge amount of happiness at that moment. A happiness that didn't come close to the day of her wedding  
  
The day arrived, Seulgi and Wendy drove to the clinic closest to their home and Wendy felt that her heart would pop out of her chest due to how fast it was beating. It was a horrible feeling of uneasiness and anxiety that she just wanted to get rid of  
  
They hadn't said a single word since last night and Wendy felt lonely...  
  
When it was finally her turn to enter she still felt too weak to move calmly. The doctor explained the procedure but she didn't hear a single word, she could only see Seulgi with an empty look nodding to everything the doctor said no matter what it was. The only thing that caught the attention of the omega was the fact that Seulgi could stay by her side  
  
Wendy lay on a bed, the doctor prepared the utensils and Seulgi held her hand  
  
"You'll be fine" Seulgi spoke to her for the first time in the long day and left a kiss on her forehead "I'm with you, love. And I promise you'll be fine"  
  
"I love you Seul," Wendy whispered in tears and looked up to meet the teary eyes of her alpha  
  
The doctor announced that the process would begin. Wendy closed her eyes and then the scene she dreamed last night came to her mind once more: Seulgi and the baby, the lullaby, the feeling of happiness...  
  
She immediately sat on the bed, scaring the doctor as much as Seulgi herself  
  
"Miss Son?" The doctor cleared her throat "It is necessary to return to the bed to do the process"  
  
Wendy shook her head frantically and threw herself into Seulgi, who was already waiting for her with open arms. The scent of roses slowly filled her with calm and made her feel safe, protected. Now more than anything she knew that her alpha was by her side  
  
"I don't want to do it..."  
  
Wendy didn't miss the way Seulgi's embrace tightened and her heartbeat raced.  
  
***  
  
Wendy let out a long sigh after the last wave of pain went by and she heard a loud cry filling the operating room  
  
"I'm so sorry... I promise we'll only have this one" Seulgi's voice was heard so far away and with a huge echo, Wendy felt her lips on her cheek and a strong cry pierced the air again "Listen" Seulgi said between laughs "As loud and noisy as you..."  
  
Wendy cocked her head to the side, a nurse cleaned a small reddish child with a patch of dark hair and wrapped it tightly in a blanket before carrying it with extreme care in her arms. The nurse came closer and closer to her and the omega didn't care about the pain that crossed over her body or the fact that she didn't have the strength to keep her eyes open... she was only interested in the small bundle that the nurse had placed on her chest  
  
The baby, feeling the closeness of its mother, immediately stopped crying and made a couple of little noises  
  
"Hello baby bear" Seulgi said between sobs and stroked the head of the child without rest "You look so much like mommy"  
  
Wendy felt the tears running down her cheeks and, without effort, bent over to leave a long kiss on the baby's forehead. Her baby, her family...  
  
"You're so beautiful," Wendy whispered  
  
Seulgi looked at Wendy and she looked back, both smiled and then giggled  
  
That 'kingdom' could take all the time in the world to come  
  
Because Seulgi had Wendy and Wendy had Seulgi


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seulgi and Wendy are sent to war and ripped away from each other. They hold onto the promise of coming back home

The war was glorified by all who never lived it  
  
Wendy always listened to those stories of war heroes who give everything for their team and the objective of the mission. Men and women without fear of death capable of risking even the most precious in order to defend their homeland. They wrote songs about them and their battles, they were buried in special places and venerated forever among the laurels of history  
  
But all of them had been lucky  
  
Because there was a sector that didn't run with the same fate. There was a group of soldiers who would never be recognized as heroes and history would not even remember them, it would spit in their faces and laugh at how little they did, laughing that they weren't good enough. Each day that Wendy spent struggling in the battlefield was more convinced that she didn't have a name or surname, she was a figure that contributed to the army of the country and nothing else.  
  
The war had exploded exactly four years ago. It began as a simple diplomatic conflict between two super powers on a global level and culminated in a fierce encounter between the armies of both countries. The conflict escalated in intensity and the dead piled the streets one after another, the demand for soldiers grew so much that the civilians had been forced out of their shelters and sent to fight. Everyone who was of legal age should fight for the homeland, for freedom, for the ideals of a nation that would turn its back on them as soon as they step on enemy soil.  
  
Why should the innocent pay for the sins of the guilty?  
  
Wendy almost didn't remember what she did before the war started. She'd been studying medicine in her senior year when the conflict send everything to waste and she had to leave behind her parents and her sister to find a safe shelter in the middle of nowhere. Later, thanks to her knowledge in medicine, she was enlisted as a doctor to attend the wounded on the battlefield. The fear and terror that Wendy lived the day where she was given a gun for the first time was the worst thing she ever lived. Most of her memories of that time had been overshadowed by the blood on her hands, the hundreds of friends she had lost because of a bullet, the many people she couldn't help because their bodies were too destroyed to be recognized or helped...  
  
However, Wendy remembered Seulgi very well. Her Seulgi. Her best friend and soulmate, her girlfriend and whom she planned to marry as soon as they finished their career: Wendy in medicine and Seulgi in arts  
  
Seulgi was also sent to the battlefield to fight but not in the same one as Wendy. She was trained to drive and handle all the different items and weapons of a tank before she was sent to the south of the country, away from her beloved and all the good times they'd lived.  
  
"We'll meet again, Wan." Seulgi gave her one of her beautiful smiles and adjusted the helmet over her head that was a little too big for her head. "Take care until then, ok?"  
  
Wendy hugged her tightly and held back her tears. She couldn't show any weakness in this world where they lived  
  
"Take care, Seul... I don't care what you do out there as long as you're back in my arms"  
  
Seulgi placed a long kiss on her forehead and then traded her dogtag with that of her girlfriend, securing it firmly around her neck to then smile again.  
  
"See you Wannie"  
  
Exactly three months ago she'd said goodbye to Seulgi and it were exactly three months ago that she'd obtained any news from her. For security issues and army policies; letters or messages between soldiers were forbidden and they could only ask for a comrade in the city's headquarters. What comforted Wendy was the fact that she could still receive letters from her parents who were twice as anguished after her sister was also called into the army recently.  
  
Wendy was now sitting on the floor of the camp her squad had made, they were taking a short break before continuing their mission. It was assumed that the reinforcements would arrive within a week at the latest to surround the enemy on their own camp and get them to surrender, thus controlling one more city. Wendy's team would attack from behind.  
  
"Hey! Lieutenant Wendy!" Shouted Joy, one of the members of her squad that was always too euphoric to go to battle. Sooyoung was her real name but Wendy nicknamed her Joy for that 'joy' that characterized her and that, ironically, spread to others. At home, two younger sisters and their parents were waiting for her and she was always talking about how she would show off her medals as soon as the war ended because she "didn't plan to leave empty handed." "Did you hear the latest rumor? They say the war is about to end"  
  
Wendy looked up at those words. If the war was about to end then that means she would soon see Seulgi ...  
  
She shouldn't have hope, enemy soldiers always start rumors to lower the guard of the team and get away with it. Wendy wouldn't believe anything until someone released an official statement  
  
"You believe everything Joy..."  
  
"It's true! The 35th squad told me! I can almost see that day"Joy took off her helmet and waved it in the air while singing along to an old victory song in the army "We're going home! I haven't tasted a ramyun bowl for years and I'm dying for one"  
  
Wendy smiled widely when she saw Joy spin around with happiness. She also missed everything about her home: the warmth of her bed, the smell of clean sheets, a shower with warm water, hot food, sleeping in Seulgi's arms... there were so many things that she missed that she couldn't really list them. It felt good to imagine how soon she could see those she loved so much  
  
"Now I'm craving for one, Joy" Wendy replied with a smile "When this is over, let's go eat ramyun at my house"  
  
"Sounds great!"  
  
"Park Sooyoung. Put on that helmet immediately. This is war"  
  
The voice of the squad captain made Wendy immediately get up and salute. Joy did the same while putting the helmet on almost instantly. Bae Joohyun was the captain of the squad. A woman with a cold facade whom the war had taken everything away: her family died after the enemy bombed the shelter where they lived while she fought on the battlefront too many miles away from them. A year later, Joohyun would lose her high school sweetheart in an enemy ambush. Wendy still shuddered to Joohyun describing the death of her beloved in her arms and the pain of not being able to save the woman she loved  
  
Joohyun was a great strategist and an excellent leader. Her leadership had led them to win several battles against the enemy with the least number of possible casualties. She was destined to receive a medal for her mighty merits on the battlefield... Wendy didn't want to think how cruel it would be to return to an empty and perhaps destroyed house with a medal that credited her as a hero but also as a martyr  
  
Next to Joohyun was Yeri, the youngest of the group. A sweet and playful girl who Wendy was sure didn't deserve to fight a single battle neither being close to the actual carnage. She was too young to fight but the army considered her of legal age and fit for any battle. She had three sisters at home and her parents but, at her young age she had already lost a lot. She'd seen her best friend die before her eyes and also had no idea where the most important person in her life was: A soldier named 'Kim'. Commander of a group of tanks that was the terror of the enemy and which the allies had warmly nicknamed 'Soshi'. The greatest hero of the war and whom everyone respected. Its list of victories was so great that it became a sign of hope, a living myth. The soldiers said that the day they saw Kim's tank rolling through the fields covered with bodies would be the day on which they could claim victory  
  
"We'll leave in an hour" Captain Bae announced "Pack your things"  
  
"I thought we would leave tomorrow" Wendy whispered  
  
"They changed plans, the reinforcements are a day away and the enemy begins to move. The orders are to close all their escape paths and keep them locked up, this fight will be decisive for the war"  
  
Wendy watched Joy's eyes fill with faith  
  
"Does that mean the war is going to end, captain?!"  
  
Joohyun adjusted her helmet so that it covered her eyes a bit more before turning around.  
  
"It'll end for some people. Let's move"  
  
Wendy took her backpack and adjusted it on her back before setting out on the road. She felt a hand on her shoulder that stopped her immediately as she watched Joy and Yeri move forward. The hand that stopped her was none other than her captain's  
  
"Wendy... I need to talk to you"  
  
That was never a good sign in times of peace, why should it be in times of war?  
  
"What's up captain?"  
  
"When I was notified of the change of plans in the morning, I received a note from the headquarters. They said that two days ago there was a huge battle in the south of the country and, although we won, there were too many casualties. There are rumors that even the general died there"  
  
Wendy felt the soul drain from her body. If even the best element they had had died...then...  
  
Joohyun took a red note from one of her pockets and handed it to Wendy  
  
"The note has the names of the corpses they managed to recover. I haven't read anything but you can do it, you deserve to read it"  
  
With trembling hands, Wendy took the note and her eyes searched anxiously for an immediate response that told her everything was fine. There were about a hundred and fifty names along the piece of paper and her eyes were just looking for a single name that would return her hope or break her heart  
  
Unfortunately it was the second option  
  
Because Wendy found the name "Kang Seulgi" among the list of unfortunates  
  
She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry and scream her lungs out to heaven for justice because she wasn't supposed to deserve all this. The war had finally killed everything she had and there was no point in crying. With the few strength she had, she returned the note to Joohyun and sighed. Joohyun gave her a look full of understanding  
  
"Her name is there..." Wendy whispered as her eyes filled with tears "Her name is there..."  
  
"I'm so sorry" Joohyun answered and looked at the floor  
  
"Take care, Seul... I don't care what you do out there as long as you're back in my arms"  
  
Wendy lost everything that day  
  
***  
  
The night caught Joohyun's squad in the middle of an old battlefield. Their vision was almost nil in the middle of the night and the light of the moon didn't help much. According to the map and the most recent report they'd received from the headquarters, they were about 10 kilometers away from the enemy camp. The reinforcements were only 20 hours away from reaching their goal  
  
Tired, hungry and unable to continue; Joohyun's squad decided to camp in a safe place and wait for the morning to keep moving. Everything was going according to plan  
  
Wendy was completely silent while sitting outside her tent, in front of her were the remains of a campfire that had just been turned off an hour ago to cook some of the remaining rations to eat. The taste of that stuff was completely unpleasant but at least it was better than spending whole days without a bite. Among the lieutenant's hands was Seulgi's dogtag that she gave her the day they saw each other for the last time  
  
She traced the letters that read "Kang Seulgi" carefully, as if it were about to break and she looked at it in the moonlight. She couldn't cry even when she wanted it with all her strength and Wendy wondered if it was due to all the pain she'd seen and heard in the middle of the battle for years. The only thing that ran through her mind at that moment were irrational questions: how did Seulgi die? Who had the body? Did her parents already knew everything?  
  
When could she see her again?  
  
Everything hurt, everything was so terrible. She just wanted to go back to happier days. Why she had to be fighting a war where nothing benefited her? She didn't want to be a hero... She wanted Seulgi in her arms once more. Soon the melodic voice of someone echoed through the camp, Wendy struggled to hear everything clearly. It's been a while since she heard a little music and even a singing voice would be enough to reassure her. The voice was still soft but it was very, very sweet and now Wendy was wondering what it was singing  
  
After a few minutes of listening to it, she discovered that it was an old battle song, a hymn sung during previous wars. The lyrics spoke about a soldier waiting for the end of the war to meet who he loves. Wendy was curious to know who the voice belonged to. Following the melody, Wendy reached the furthest part of the camp where she found the owner of the voice... it was none other than Yeri  
  
"What are you doing awake, Yeri? Tomorrow we move at dawn"  
  
"I can't sleep, Lieutenant" Yeri sighed and looked at her in the darkness. Wendy could see that she was carrying something bright in her little hands.  
  
"What do you have there?" Said the lieutenant curiously.  
  
"It's a dogtag..."  
  
"Can I see it?" Wendy reached her hand and the silver chain fell into the palm of her hand. The lieutenant carefully examined the tag in the moonlight and her gaze soften when she discovered the content recorded on the silver with extreme care  
  
Kim Taeyeon  
8903097085  
Commander Troop No.9 of Armored Vehicles  
  
"She told me to wait for her no matter what" Yeri whispered as she took the tag from Wendy's hands. She gave the object a long kiss and then saved it in the pocket of her uniform. "She told me to sing that song when I felt scared because, one way or another, she would always be listening to me and it would be her promise that one day she would come back"  
  
Wendy listened intently to each of the girl's words and she didn't know if it was her youth or love that made her have so much faith  
  
"What will happen if she doesn't return?" The lieutenant applied a bit of realism and the bitterness that ran through her.  
  
Yeri giggled  
  
"It's Kim Taeyeon, Lieutenant." She smiled brightly, so much that even the moonlight paled in comparison "Of course she'll be back"  
  
Suddenly, the lieutenant had a rush of faith running through her body.  
  
***  
  
A rude awakening  
  
That was the only way Wendy could describe the way she woke up the next morning.  
  
The planes buzzed like a lightning bolt through the skies and each of them dropped a bomb on the battlefield. Wendy held her machine gun with strength. She fled and took refuge behind sacks full of flour. The enemy retreated in the middle of the night and surprised them with an attack early in the morning in a desperate attempt to resist the invasion of their territory  
  
Soldiers fell like flies caught in crossfire and machine guns in the sky. A powerful explosion went off just a few meters away from Wendy made her adjust her helmet hard and keep the machine gun near her body  
  
"Seul... wherever you are, take care of me"  
  
She left her shelter and aimed fearlessly, pulled off the trigger and her bullets hit the body of an enemy who fell to the ground without a sound  
  
"Lieutenant!" Joy's voice took her out of her concentration and Wendy turned her head just to see the exact moment when Joy was shot in the leg. Blood gushed out and the girl collapsed to the ground with a scream of pain that pierced the air. Wendy ran towards her with all her equipment already ready to give first aid  
  
"Easy Joy, you'll be fine"  
  
"Lieutenant..." Joy held her leg before a wave of pain crossed her body "The captain orders the withdrawal... there are tanks less than a kilometer from here and the reinforcements haven't arrived. The enemy will crush us... You must leave"  
  
"Do you think I'll go without you, idiot? I still owe you a ramyun bowl" Wendy was still focused on healing Joy's wound. Luckily the bullet had pierced the girl's leg and there was no need to surgically intervene. She applied a disinfectant on the wound and then tried to sew it. A new explosion was heard in the distance and the machine guns sounded closer.  
  
"Go away lieutenant!"  
  
"Don't be stubborn, Park Sooyoung!"  
  
"Tanks! Twelve o'clock!" Yeri's voice echoed through the chaos  
  
"We have to go Son Wendy!" Joohyun approached the scene where Wendy healed Joy and held the doctor from her forearm. Wendy looked at her repressively.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Joohyun cried out in desperation "Do you want me to report you of treason for disobeying me?"  
  
"I rather be a traitor than leave Joy behind"  
  
"They're coming!"  
  
Wendy looked up and saw only dust covering everything. The terrifying sound of tanks rolling over the field almost makes her tremble. More soldiers were wounded and, because of the dust, she couldn't tell if they were from her squad or enemies. One of the tanks made its way through the dust and launched a powerful cannon shot that smashed an armored vehicle in half as if it was made of paper  
  
Amid all the chaos, Wendy caught a glimpse of something that caught her attention  
  
The tanks were the same color as her uniform  
  
They weren't enemies. They were reinforcements  
  
The terrible machines began to make their way between soldiers and enemy vehicles, killing people right and left without noticing the huge amount of bodies that began to pile. The dust slowly dissipated and the tanks immediately stopped. All squad members watched the scene expectantly  
  
There were a total of nine tanks. Among all of them stood out one of enormous size and power that Wendy had only imagined based on the stories of the soldiers who had seen it in person. The hatch of the upper part opened slowly and from it came a woman in a uniform covered in dirt and lead, her face dirty and her helmet between her hands. From the other tanks began to emerge another group of soldiers  
  
"Treat the wounded and bring them to the convoy. Make sure there are no enemies around"  
  
"Tae!"  
  
The woman on the tank immediately diverted her gaze to where the voice that called her came from and her expression changed in an instant to one of happiness  
  
"Yeri?"  
  
Kim Taeyeon came down from her tank and threw the helmet to the ground while Yeri did the same and ran towards her. Soon, Taeyeon caught her in her arms and spun her around while Yeri let out a laugh and clung to her neck in a strong hug.  
  
"You are back... you are back"  
  
Taeyeon left a brief kiss on the girl's lips and then pressed her forehead to hers, smiling gently.  
  
"I told you I would come back, didn't I? I'm already here"  
  
The soldiers cheered victory with excitement, Wendy looked at Yeri with eyes full of tenderness and pride. The girl had never lost faith and that was her reward, she was next to the one she loved to never go back to those darker days. Wendy felt jealous, she really wanted things to be different now...  
  
If fate was gentler, she would be in Yeri's place.  
  
A couple of hours went by after the arrival of the reinforcements. Wendy was inside the camp they created to tend the wounded, fortunately most of them had no serious injuries or at least not for the battle they had just fought.  
  
The lieutenant finished placing a bandage around Joy's leg and, jokingly, left a small kiss on top of the wound  
  
"There you go, Joy. Now you'll feel better"  
  
"Thank you, Lieutenant" the girl smiled sweetly and then she fell back on the improvised bed that had been built out of sheets and uniforms. "Thanks for not leaving me out there... To tell you the truth, I was really scared of dying but I couldn't show it. I was glad to know that you wouldn't let me die"  
  
Wendy smiled at her gently and took one of her hands  
  
"It's nothing Joy, how am I going to leave my favorite girl behind?"  
  
Joy smiled again, full of innocence and confidence. Wendy let her rest and turned around, however as soon as she turned she collided with another soldier  
  
"I'm sorry"  
  
"Wan?!"  
  
Wendy looked up at the sound of that voice...  
  
"Seulgi?!"  
  
The girl of her dreams was there... she was alive. She was covered in dirt and lead, her uniform didn't have a single spot without a bloodstain. Immediately her face was covered by an eye-smile and Wendy threw herself into her arms, hugging her tightly before breaking away and cradling her face in her hands.  
  
"You are alive..."  
  
Wendy ran her fingertips over Seulgi's face as if it was one of the many maps she had learned. She traced her eyes, her nose and lips. She just wanted to make sure she wasn't dreaming and that she wouldn't wake up in the middle of hell a few minutes later. Seulgi was crying but she was still smiling  
  
"I'm finally back…"  
  
"I thought I'd lost you" Wendy finally let the tears come out after so much of holding them "Where were you, Seul...?"  
  
"You have no idea... I did... I did too much to survive but... but you said that you didn't care and that you only wanted me to return. I always remembered that"  
  
Wendy nodded several times and returned to hug her beloved  
  
"It doesn't matter, it's nothing I care about... you're home"  
  
***  
  
It was just a matter of time before the war ended  
  
The enemy surrendered a few days after the battle where the well-known "Soshi" squad came to the rescue and they made the enemy sign their capitulation exactly one week later. The victory parades soon covered the whole country while the media counted the thousand and one stories of courage and heroism that had happened in the battlefield.  
  
There was a special award ceremony where the legendary troop number nine took the medal of honor for being authentic heroes on the battlefield and surrendering everything for their team and the army. Joohyun's squad also received a purple cross for endangering their lives in exchange for the mission.  
  
A great party was celebrated after the delivery of medals, the dance floor was full of all kinds of couples who had stopped dancing in the recess the band took. Wendy wore her most elegant uniform and looked at the medal on her chest, she already had something to go home with. Joohyun and Yeri were sitting at the same table as her while Joy had returned home as soon as she received the medal to rest (Wendy was sure it was to show off the medal to her family but she wasn't going to ruin anything)  
  
"What will you do now that everything is over, Captain?" Wendy talked to Joohyun  
  
"I don't know... go home, help everyone start over. I should also start from scratch, don't you think?"  
  
"Is up to you, Captain"  
  
"Time will give me answers Wendy. For now, I think I'm fine "Joohyun smiled and got up from her seat before making a salute to Wendy who immediately answered "I expect to receive an invitation for your wedding"  
  
Wendy burst out laughing  
  
"Of course"  
  
Joohyun went lost among people. Wendy stayed with Yeri as the band began to prepare for a slower song  
  
"I also want an invitation to your wedding, Lieutenant." Yeri smiled slyly and Wendy narrowed her eyes.  
  
"Are you going to trade it for an invitation to YOUR wedding?"  
  
Yeri giggled and tried to hide her blush behind her hands before hitting Wendy hard on the shoulder and continue laughing. The band began to play a ballad and the dance floor was filled with couples once again. Among the people emerged Seulgi, dressed like Wendy in an elegant uniform and looking as captivating as ever  
  
"Do you mind if I take this beautiful woman out for a dance?" Seulgi reached her hand to Wendy and Yeri cheered in the background. Wendy took the hand of her beloved with a smile  
  
"That's so nice of you, Miss Kang"  
  
Seulgi and Wendy danced slowly in the middle of the dance floor. It wasn't a coordinated dance but they just wanted to stay together to try and recover all those nights in which they couldn't keep each other company. Wendy placed her head in Seulgi's chest and heard the sound of her heart beating, even louder than the band's music  
  
"I love you," Seulgi whispered suddenly as she ran a hand through Wendy's hair "I'm so proud of you Wan. Captain Bae told me about how you defied her just to save Sooyoung…that's amazing"  
  
Wendy could only giggle at the compliments  
  
“It's nothing…you still have a lot to tell me Seul. Driving around with Commander Kim and fighting in the south battle. You gotta tell me about that!"  
  
Now it was Seulgi turn to giggle  
  
“Sure, sure. When I'm feeling less groggy…all I want to do is sleep for days and wake up next to you. You don't know how much I missed you”   
  
Wendy closed her eyes and nodded  
  
"I love you so much Seul... I really missed you too. Thanks for coming back to me"  
  
Seulgi left a brief kiss on the crown of her head  
  
"How could I forget to come back?"  
  
Seulgi cradled Wendy's face in her hands and smiled at her  
  
“You're my home”


	5. After Irene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sudden break-up with the love of her life makes Seulgi feel broken-hearted. Now Wendy will have to pick up the pieces and make a new heart for Seulgi to wear

"I don't think this will work anymore Seulgi"  
  
Irene spoke with confidence in every single word and in hersef, her heavy gaze never matching the softness of her voice or the gentle tone with which she spoke. Seulgi knew that tone was especially reserved for her and for no one else. Years of knowing her leader expressed the truth behind her words and knew her beyond the façade that she always carried in order to protect them.  
  
Years of being her lover made her discover the truth. For Irene, Seulgi was her 'baby', the person she protected a little more than the others. But still, even with how much she knew her heart and how much she knew about her personality, Seulgi realized that she didn't know her enough and that she hadn't seen her from the inside.  
  
Seulgi wasn't enough for Irene  
  
"Why, unnie?" Seulgi tried to calm her voice, making the biggest attempt not to show her broken heart "What happened?"  
  
"It's not the right life for a relationship, Seul..." Irene let out a sigh and ran a hand through her long hair, ruffling it and leaving it in complete disarray "For months we can't go on a date or sit down to watch a movie. We haven't even had sex... it's a busy life "  
  
Irene was right. Since 'Red Flavor' came to light; they barely had time to sleep more than five hours a day. The schedule was saturated only a few weeks after the mini-album was revealed thanks to the incredible popularity it had. Little by little they stopped talking, then sharing a bed and caresses, finally they got to behave like two total strangers and couldn't even be close to each other in interviews or photo sessions. It was impossible to continue with such kind of relationship  
  
They had started well and things worked even in the midst of fame and eventual fortune. But they couldn't pretend that everything was fine any longer  
  
Even when Seulgi struggled to patch the relationship and pretend that everything was fine, that everything would be solved with a simple conversation. Irene was the one who had taken the first step, perhaps too stifled with the truth to endure it a little more. The leader had always had much better control of her emotions than Seulgi had even after all the time she spent training and perfecting her technique of dance and singing.  
  
"Is there anything I can do?"  
  
Seulgi still had hopes although they were very small  
  
"I'm sorry." Irene looked down and took a few steps toward her now group mate. It was so strange to think of those words when for years they had been replaced by 'lover'. Seulgi looked too broken right now and Irene had a big burden on her heart after the poor girl looked like that.  
  
"If..." Seulgi blinked quickly, trying to scare away the tears and have a little more strength... damn, why did she have to be a baby? Irene was behaving really mature and Seulgi just like a teenager. She is supposed to have left that stage of her development far behind "If... if I make love to you right now, would it... fix something?"  
  
Irene's gaze softened almost immediately. Seulgi really believed that their problems started and ended with the lack of sex but it went a little bit further. And, as if talking to a small child, she approached Seulgi to stroke her cheek. The younger girl could no longer contain her tears or her sobs and let them shake her like the breeze shakes a tree  
  
"It wouldn't be making love to me, Seul... it would only be sex"  
  
Seulgi let out a particularly strong sob at that response. So it was true, Irene didn't love her anymore  
  
"I still love you, unnie." Seulgi muttered between sobs and took Irene's hands in despair before meeting her eyes. All those times when she looked at her after a kiss, all the times when she murmured a simple 'I love you' were disappearing in the wind  
  
"We don't have time to love each other, Seul. Understand me" Irene's voice had a touch of desperation and urgency, Seulgi took it as a sign that she didn't want to end things this way either "I love you too and you are very special to me but... it's not something we can solve. It's not your fault, nor mine, it's just that there's not enough time... I don't want to love you half-heartedly"  
  
Seulgi couldn't answer but she definitely believed that it was better to love in half than to love nothing at all  
  
"Can I at least kiss you one last time? Please…"  
  
Irene only nodded slowly before standing on her toes and giving Seulgi a gentle kiss that she answered with want, wrapping her hands around Irene for the last time. The kiss tasted like tears and lipstick but above all it tasted like bitterness, a lot of bitterness.  
  
Seulgi knew what a true broken heart was that day  
  
***  
  
"Do you plan to stay there all day? She is already out there, being... herself"  
  
Joy's voice made Seulgi hug her pillow a little more tight and close her eyes. Exactly two weeks had passed since Irene ended the relationship, the promotions for Red Flavor ended too but the real work was just starting. They had a couple of days off to clear their mind of everything and Seulgi, instead of spending it with her friends, decided to lie on her bed and watch the time go by. Sleep enough to forget what had happened  
  
She kept repeating 'stop being a baby' inside her brain and tried to forget Irene that much that by this point she couldn't cry anymore. There were pangs of pain in her chest every time she remembered her leader and she felt a lump in her throat when she woke up and Irene was no longer by her side. Seulgi got used to the pain and the feeling of emptiness. She got used to suffer  
  
She got used to not living after Irene  
  
Joy had tried to cheer her up by inviting her to watch movies with Wendy, Yeri was out there eating with Key and Taeyeon while Irene had vanished from the dorm as soon as the day turned around. Seulgi knew that she couldn't stay forever crying in her room, it wasn't healthy... however, her mind and body were so powerful and she simply couldn't force herself to move even if she wished for it.  
  
After several unsuccessful attempts to get her out of the room, Joy had finally exploded in anger at her beloved 'unnie'. Seulgi pretended not to hear a word  
  
"She doesn't care if you're okay... you know that, unnie"  
  
"Shut up Sooyoung..."  
  
Seulgi didn't want to listen anymore  
  
"No, unnie! YOU are the one who should stop! Do you wanna know the truth? Joohyun-unnie is already dating someone!"  
  
The dancer immediately sat on the bed before that statement. Joy took a step back in surprise: Seulgi looked completely different, she was another person she'd never met before... she looked empty, broken and sad. She usually saw the optimistic side of things but now it seems that she couldn't find that side.  
  
Joy almost wanted to turn off the lights in the room just to not see the broken expression of her unnie  
  
"What are you saying Sooyoung? With who?"  
  
The redheaded girl regretted having opened her mouth. She just wanted to make a change in Seulgi but apparently she just hit on the softest string of her unnie and was provoking a chain reaction. How the hell was she going to get out of this without pushing Seulgi deeper into that darkness?  
  
"I didn't say anything, unnie"  
  
"Speak now, there's no going back. Who is she dating?"  
  
Deep silence  
  
"Answer me Sooyoung! Who is Joohyun-unnie dating?! "  
  
"I don't know her name! It's... it's the purple girl that unnie talked about some day"  
  
The purple girl…  
  
Seulgi immediately began to connect the wires in her brain from one side to the other, her memory working quickly in order to find the name or face of that girl... Irene had told her that she was her best friend, that she was someone very close to her and that she loved her so much because it had been her first love  
  
Irene had never forgotten about the so-called 'purple girl'. She only tried to hide that love with a relationship with Seulgi  
  
The dancer immediately got up from the bed and ran to the door without caring how she was dressed. She needed to breathe, she needed to escape this cruel reality, she needed to feel that she wasn't been used by Irene. She passed right by Joy who tried to stop her with words, opened the door and when she was about to leave she found Wendy  
  
"Seulgi... where are you going?" Wendy had a clear expression of anguish, too worried about her best friend "What's happening? Why are you screaming?"  
  
Seulgi said nothing, the tears shone in her innocent eyes and Wendy took both hands to cradle her face and caress her cheeks.  
  
"What's wrong, Seulgi?"  
  
The warmth in Wendy's hands was great, healing the wounds of her soul but ... she wasn't the person Seulgi wanted. The dancer removed Wendy's hands from her face gently without being able to control her crying anymore, letting the tears paint her cheeks. She said no more, just stepped past Wendy and left the dorm while listening to the screams of Joy and Wendy asking her to stop.  
  
***  
  
Seulgi was breathing hard after her fifth dance routine.  
  
Her muscles ached and burned, sweat dripped ceaselessly from every pore of her body and her lungs were exhausted from lack of air but she couldn't be stopped. Every time she looked in the mirror, every time she saw her exhausted reflection, she remembered Irene and her beautiful voice saying 'Seulgi-ya~' with a tone so much her own. Every kiss, every night that she between her arms whispering that she loved her and that there was no one like her  
  
Just thinking that perhaps Irene had had another woman in her mind while telling her all that broke her heart into a thousand pieces  
  
Irene had been everything to her from the person she trusted the most to her first love and the perfect unnie that taught her all kinds of things. It wasn't possible, it couldn't be possible that Irene had only used it for her own pleasures  
  
Suddenly her legs didn't respond anymore, the air became dense and suffocating and Seulgi collapsed in the middle of the training room.  
  
***  
  
"Maybe she just went to the park or something, unnie. I'm sure it won't take her long to come back"  
  
Yeri tried to comfort an anguished Wendy who kept checking her conversations with Seulgi in search of a new message to tell her where she was. It was midnight and they hadn't heard from her yet, nor had she communicated with anyone. The manager had already started the search in the places she used to frequent and promised to send them a message as soon as he had news.  
  
That didn't mean they had calmed down. They were all sitting in the living room of the dorm, including Irene who stopped recording a commercial to be at her group's side. She had to behave like a leader and guide them towards calmness.  
  
"You shouldn't have said anything to her, Sooyoung" Yeri complained to an impatient Joy who tapped her foot in the floor again and again "What the hell did you want to accomplish?"  
  
"Do you think I felt really good looking at Seulgi-unnie crying there while we all enjoyed our free time? What would you do?!"  
  
"Enough is enough" Irene's calm voice broke the tension and both girls were immediately silent "What matters now is that Seulgi returns home safely, then you can blame everyone for what happened. Even me"  
  
Wendy saw the screen of her phone again and felt another pang in her chest when she realized there was nothing new. The silence in the room was unbearable but no one could break it in any way.  
  
Nobody except their manager with Seulgi in his arms.  
  
The man entered the bedroom with Seulgi carrying her bridal style, still dressed in the clothes she normally wore in the company's dance room. Wendy immediately got up from the chair where she was and ran to the manager and her best friend. The rest of the girls remained watching without any word  
  
"Seulgi...?" Wendy hated that her voice sounded so insecure and fragile. Her feelings were ruining all the logical thinking she should have now. "Oppa... Is she okay?"  
  
"I'll talk to you later"  
  
The manager walked to Seulgi and Wendy's room. The minutes that he took inside that place felt eternal and terrifying for each one of the members of the group. Wendy felt herself on the verge of a nervous crisis and decided to go to the room, when she was about to arrive she felt a hand around her wrist. Irene held her tightly  
  
"I'll go. If oppa has something to tell us, I will explain them to you later"  
  
Wendy didn't know what happened to her at that moment. She'd never questioned Irene's decisions; not because of fear as everyone believed, but because she always used to give the most logical answers. Maybe it was the accumulated anguish, maybe it was despair, maybe it was her heart that couldn't stand seeing Seulgi suffering from an unrequited love  
  
Wendy pushed Irene against the wall and placed her finger against her chest   
  
"You have no right to ask anything, unnie! If Seulgi is doing this, it's because you did not know how to be honest with her!"  
  
Irene was surprised at Wendy's reaction but her surprise lasted a few seconds before she frowned and put on her serious face again.  
  
"I was honest with Seulgi. I told her we didn't have time for a relationship, isn't that true, Seungwan? We have our agenda full, there isn't enough time even to sleep "  
  
Wendy only felt more angry when she heard those words  
  
"And that's why you went to see the purple girl as soon as you had time?"  
  
Irene frowned  
  
"She has nothing to do with this"  
  
"Now are you going to make excuses, unnie?"  
  
"They aren't excuses!" Irene raised her voice but tried to maintain control as best she could, even when her cold facade fell slowly "Do you think I wanted to hurt Seulgi? I was never using her and the reason why I ended up breaking with her is true we do not have time. She... the 'purple girl' came back to me since a week ago and I can't give her a chance for the same reason, do you think I decided who I should love and who I don't? Tell me Seungwan, did you choose to love Seulgi?"  
  
There was the most accurate bullet in Bae Joohyun's repertoire. She knew the truth that Wendy had been hiding for years in order to protect her friendship with Seulgi. She didn't care to see Seulgi next to Irene if that meant she was happy. It was a stupid and very repeated idea but to live on the crumbs of her best friend's love was what relieved the pain.  
  
For years she was in love with Seulgi and, also for years, she had decided that perhaps she would go to the grave with that secret because Seulgi had met someone else and Wendy couldn't ruin her happiness just because of the whim of having her by her side. She had never told Seulgi what she felt and tried not to show it  
  
The youngest of the group watched the scene with surprise from the living room of the dorm, it was so strange to see their unnies fighting and especially Wendy who admired, appreciated and loved with all her being every fiber of the leader of the group and followed her with more fidelity than a guardian dog. Wendy couldn't say anything after those words. The manager left Seulgi room at that exact same moment  
  
"How is Seulgi?" Irene was the first to speak  
  
"She is fine although very tired. I found her fainted in the dance hall of the company, a doctor already checked her and everything is fine but she needs to rest... surely she won't wake up until tomorrow, she can barely stand on her feet"  
  
Irene discussed something else with the manager but Wendy could no longer listen to him nor did she care. She entered the room she shared with Seulgi cautiously and closed the door once she was inside. The manager had lit a small lamp right next to her friend's bed and it was the only source of light in the place  
  
Seulgi had her mouth open, covered with a blanket and asleep deeply. Wendy almost wanted to cry when she saw how fragile her expression was. It was very painful to see the person she loved the most, dying slowly without her being able to solve things. Seulgi needed time to heal and Wendy would help her through this process  
  
Still with cautious steps, she walked to Seulgi's bed and sat on one end of it. Seulgi complained a little and Wendy lulled her by rubbing her back and stroking her hair over and over again. Eventually Wendy's show of affection led Seulgi to calm down again and go back to sleep  
  
"I'm sorry" Wendy whispered with a lump in her throat "I'm sorry for not being able to help you... I'm sorry for not being the person you want to love"  
  
Wendy looked at Seulgi with a slight smile on her face. She had always liked how innocent she looked, how pure she was, how kindly she was within every fiber of her heart and how she was able to protect everyone around her. Seulgi was everything Wendy needed but it was also everything she couldn't ever have  
  
She looked so beautiful being illuminated only by the light of her lamp, Wendy could hardly resist the need to kiss her  
  
She brought a hand to her cheek and caressed it slowly, Seulgi showed no signs of awakening. To hell with that stupid time, to hell with all that that had been hidden for years... If she had to say goodbye to Seulgi at least it would be with a last show of affection.  
  
She leaned slightly toward her, barely inches away from her lips  
  
"I love you Seulgi"  
  
Without thinking, she joined their lips in a kiss and concentrated on the softness of them. She was lost in that slight moment in which Seulgi was hers  
  
What Wendy didn't know was that Seulgi was awake


	6. Should Be Me and You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A high school crush and a learned lesson. Seulgi and Wendy fall in love at different times and at different ages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loosely based around Taeyeon's "Gemini"

The first time Seulgi fell in love with Wendy she was 16 and Wendy, 26.  
  
Seulgi had just moved to the city. Her father had gotten a job with a better salary and a closer location to their home. He even managed a couple of scholarships for her and her brother in a good school. Seulgi didn't mind leaving behind friends and the place where she spent her childhood if it meant a better opportunity to grow.  
  
She'd always been optimistic, she'd always been a girl who saw the fun side of everything. Soon she adapted to the city and all its new routines and even got to make a couple of friends on her first day of school. She had such a great charisma that she attracted people like magnets and little by little she began to call that new city home.  
  
Then she met Wendy for the first time.  
  
"Good morning, guys." The music teacher entered the classroom; She wore a light blue blouse and a black skirt just above her knees, combining her attire with black heels and a long chestnut hair that fell calmly down her shoulders. She greeted with a sweetness and happiness uncharacteristic of most of the high school teachers and immediately grabbed Seulgi's attention.  
  
She didn't know if it was due to her age or simply a matter of hormones but she couldn't stop looking at her...  
  
She was beautiful  
  
"Close your mouth, Seulgi" one of her friends joked and the group of boys around them began to laugh at the expression that their friend carried on her face. She was mesmerized by the teacher at the drop of a hat.  
  
Blessed be the one who made her schedule this year because it had just given her the best gift of her life.  
  
"Okay, let's start with the class. Today we'll talk about the structure used in a composition. Do any of you have an idea of how a composition is structured?"  
  
Wendy wrote a couple of words on the board and then turned to look at her class. Everyone was silent and looked intently ahead... all except Seulgi. Their eyes met: the dark brown of the girl on the seat met Wendy's light color and it almost seemed like there was a spark that connected them  
  
"Miss Kang?" Wendy started. "Could you tell me what the structure of a composition is?"  
  
Seulgi looked at her with her mouth open, one hand under her chin while leaning against the desk. There were a few seconds of silence before one of Seulgi's friends pushed her to get her attention. The girl gave a slight jump and shook her head  
  
"You are beautiful..."  
  
The entire room erupted in laughter and Seulgi blushed almost immediately upon realizing what she had just said. Wendy smiled gently in her direction and hid a lock of hair behind her ear to then let out a slight chuckle  
  
"It looks like you're daydreaming, Ms. Kang, thanks for the compliment but it's not what I need"  
  
Seulgi could die a thousand times of shame that day and wouldn't mind it a bit if that meant she would see Wendy's smile once again. The teacher continued with the class and Seulgi leaned back on the desk with her mouth open and her hand under her chin.  
  
Wendy would be the name that would stay forever in her memory  
  
Upon returning home, she happily cycled her bicycle on the streets of the city. The day was perfect and the weather seemed to adapt to her mood: the sun shone brightly on the blue sky without a single cloud and a light breeze messed up her hair. She arrived at her house in a few minutes, it wasn't that far from the high school, and she threw her bike in the front yard. Inside, her mother was waiting for her with a warm plate of food on the table  
  
"Kang Seulgi, what kind of manners are that? Get out there and pick up your bike immediately"  
  
"Ahhh~ mom... you won't believe what happened to me today" the girl bounced from one side to another inside the kitchen occupied by her mother. She moved her head from side to side to the tone of an imaginary song that only she enjoyed and her mother raised an eyebrow  
  
"I'll believe you once you pick up your bike from the front yard"  
  
"I'm in love, mom!" Shouted Seulgi and then ran to hug her mother with strength almost picking her up from the floor. After her euphoric show of affection, she collapsed onto one of the dining room chairs with her arms and legs dangling like a rag doll.  
  
Her mother smiled widely before letting out a laugh  
  
"So you finally found someone who caught your attention"  
  
Seulgi nodded and sat on the chair straight so she could tell everything in detail to her mother. Now both were so excited that they had completely forgotten about the food or the slumped bike  
  
"She has light brown eyes and beautiful hair, her cheeks turn a beautiful shade of pink when she blushes and she looks so cute, she's shorter than me but she's completely adorable and her voice sounds like the best melody in the world, mom and..."  
  
Seulgi leaned on the table and let out a long sigh  
  
"She is very beautiful mom... her name is Wendy"  
  
"Wendy, huh?" Her mother let out a laugh and then came over to give Seulgi a short kiss on her forehead who was still very excited after telling the whole story. "So it's a girl"  
  
Seulgi hadn't even noticed what she said and opened her eyes in surprise. She immediately opened her mouth to try to explain herself; her mother hadn't the slightest idea that she liked women. However, when Seulgi was already preparing for the grounding of the century, her mother just kept laughing and grabbed her hands between hers  
  
"Oh honey, I think you're living the greatest thing of your life."  
  
The girl just closed her eyes to try and hide her tears and smiled at the feeling of protection when she was close to her mother. It wasn't exactly the reaction that she expected for a kind of news that she wasn't yet ready to reveal however she was sure that her mother loved her and that is why she had learned to trust her without any condition  
  
"Wait until your father knows about this, he's going to go crazy!"  
  
"Don't tell him!"  
  
"And not to mention your brother! He won't leave you alone for a second"  
  
"Mom!"  
  
***  
  
The days went by one after the other. Seulgi couldn't stop thinking about her beautiful music teacher.  
  
Her notebook, instead of notes, was full of drawings and sketches of her teacher or the thousand and one songs that she had composed in her name. Every day without exception she looked at her with the same gesture as before: open mouth, chin resting on her hand above the desk. Seulgi was sure that by that point she would end up drooling around and she would make a clown out of herself.  
  
It wasn't until a month after she met Wendy that the girl decided to take the first step. A forbidden step maybe... but a step at the end of everything  
  
She bought a bouquet of roses at the flower shop just a few blocks away from her house and on the way to the bus stop she wondered a thousand times if she should have bought other flowers because the roses were too used in all kinds of events and declarations of love. In the end she ended up convincing herself that she would succeed, that she could confess  
  
Once she got to school, she checked her watch right at the entrance. It was more than half an hour away before classes began and there weren't many people in high school but Seulgi was completely sure that Wendy would already be there: she was a very punctual and firm person in terms of rules and presentation. She was sure she would find her in the classroom.  
  
She climbed at full speed to the second floor of the place where the classroom was located and stopped abruptly before entering. She took a big breath and tried to ignore the butterflies that floated in her stomach in an uncontrolled way... she never done anything like that, she never confessed to anyone and had no idea what to say  
  
She just had to have some confidence in herself  
  
Seulgi opened the door slowly and poked her head through the crack she managed to open. Wendy was sitting at the desk with a book in her hands, it was part of the class and she made constant notes on a notebook. Now she had opted to dress more casually in blue denim trousers and a flannel of red and black motives. She looked captivating even with such a casual style and Seulgi felt her heart pounding on her chest  
  
She entered the room while hiding the flowers behind her back and made a slight bow. Wendy looked at her curiously with a slightly raised eyebrow  
  
"Kang Seulgi? What are you doing here so early? I still have thirty minutes to start my class"  
  
"Yes, yes, I know but... I wanted to talk to you, Miss Wendy"  
  
After this, Seulgi spread the bouquet of flowers in front of Wendy and placed it on her desk, careful not to mistreat the wrapper so carefully made in the flower shop. Wendy opened her eyes in surprise as she looked at the flowers and then at Seulgi, alternating her gaze between them.  
  
"They're for you" Seulgi smiled widely, her eyes losing themselves in two crescent moons "I'm sorry if I don't have something bigger but... it's a detail for you"  
  
Wendy finally stared at Seulgi and was stunned by the gesture of her student  
  
"Seulgi... I..."  
  
"Could you go out on a date with me? I promise you won't regret it! I saved the whole month to pay something fancy... that's why I never confessed before"  
  
Wendy remained silent for a long time. Seulgi was beginning to feel uncomfortable and her bright appearance gradually erased until only a worried expression remained on her face. Wendy wasn't showing the reaction she expected...  
  
Suddenly, Seulgi gave had a strike of reality  
  
Why the hell a woman as beautiful as Wendy (one who probably had many suitors) would notice her, who was just a student still depending on her parents and paying her expenses with scholarships?  
  
Seulgi took a few steps towards the desk to try and take the bouquet of roses  
  
"I'm sorry, Miss Wendy" she said in a small voice "I shouldn't have done this... forgive me"  
  
When Seulgi was about to take the roses and go to heal the wounds of a broken heart, Wendy took the roses and placed them against her chest to the surprise of the student  
  
"Don't! It's okay, Seulgi. You just took me by surprise... "  
  
Wendy took the roses to her nose and melt in the beautiful scent. It was something bewitching  
  
"The roses are a precious detail, Seulgi... thank you"  
  
Seulgi smiled again  
  
"I'm glad! So what do you say? Will you go out with me?"  
  
Seulgi only looked at her teacher without knowing the gale of emotions that was unleashing inside Wendy. What she was doing was wrong, she shouldn't relate to a student like that, let alone accept gifts from them. It wasn't healthy for anyone...  
  
But every time Seulgi smiled, she felt the whole room lit up and her heart beats a little faster because of the incredible sweetness and tenderness she gave off. In addition, the roses had been a detail that she never received from any of her previous partners, no matter how adult they were.  
  
Wendy shouldn't have accepted  
  
"I would love to go out with you"  
  
But she did  
  
***  
  
The months passed, the stations turned on the calendar at high speed and eventually the time transformed to years.  
  
Seulgi and Wendy had quite the time dating secretly, as much as they could hide it. Seulgi had to resort to the much-used "tutoring" strategy and lower her grades in the music course to a level worse than failing so she could receive tutoring from Wendy and see her every day even at home. Her parents still maintained the idea that there wasn't a relationship other than teacher-student even when the years had passed and Seulgi did not improve at all.  
  
The student felt infinitely wrong for lying to her parents, especially when they were so loving and understanding. If she reveals the truth about Wendy they would surely understand her and try to give her some advice because that's how they were, they had always supported her in everything since she was a child. But for some reason Seulgi couldn't force herself to tell them anything  
  
She's been spending days with a fatal idea in her mind: having to leave Wendy.  
  
Everything started when she received a curious letter in her mailbox one day in the morning and, when she returned home from school, her mother received her anxiously with tears in her eyes telling her that despite her difficulties in the music course, she had a university willing to pay for her studies if she improved her grades by the end of the year. For Seulgi that had been a blessing... but also a curse because the year was almost over and graduation was just around the corner. She had to say goodbye to Wendy even if she didn't want it  
  
But she still had faith that maybe things were different. She could say goodbye to that scholarship and worry more about staying with Wendy. Maybe some time later she could get a job and pay her own student bills and then live with Wendy as long as possible... in all this time she had managed to discover that Wendy was something beyond a simple high school crush. She was the person she loved the most  
  
Seulgi choose to completely forget about her problems and bury her insecurities between Wendy's legs. Filling her taste buds with that characteristic taste that she had learned to satisfy over time and the countless times she had to practice  
  
"Oh God... Seulgi... don't stop"  
  
The girl spread the legs of her teacher a little more to leave small kisses on the inside of her thighs and to run her tongue through Wendy's hot center. A chill ran down her whole body as Wendy brought her hands to her back and clawed her hard and deeply. The burning pain was intense, she definitely had drawn little blood but the satisfaction of making that beautiful woman fall apart was something out of this world  
  
"You're so good at this... oh Seulgi right there... I'm close"  
  
What a way to boost her ego, there was no point of comparison. Wendy was hers, nobody was going to make her feel that way ever and she had to make it very clear. Seulgi dared to dip a finger into Wendy's core, hooking it just a little upwards to be able to hit that spot that made her go crazy. A loud moan told her that she was in the right place and Seulgi didn't stop as she alternated movements of her tongue and fingers, touching all the places Wendy needed.  
  
Finally the teacher's body arched on the bed after a long moan and fell between the pillows completely satisfied. Her cheeks were covered in a blush, her hair plastered to her forehead with sweat and her breathing fast. Seulgi had to use all her strength to not get lost in that body again. She could only satisfy her instinct with a long and messy kiss on Wendy's lips until the lack of air was too strong.  
  
Wendy let out a soft chuckle and covered her face with one hand  
  
"Wow..." She whispered before laughing again "Wow..."  
  
Seulgi copied her smile and dropped her head on her abdomen, running her hands restlessly along her legs.  
  
"It was good?"  
  
"Come on, Seulgi that was amazing... how the hell can you fuck me to my heart content?"  
  
Seulgi laughed and broke away from her beloved body so she could kiss her lips without a pause once more. What would she do if she lost those kisses? After breaking away she stroked her lover's cheek and smiled at her  
  
"I guess love really works wonders"  
  
Now it was Wendy's turn to laugh  
  
"Really? You're 18, Seul... how much can you know about love?"  
  
Seulgi didn't want to feel bad about that comment... she was sure that Wendy didn't think that she was just a teenager in love. Telling the truth, she expected to have a better answer, that's why she had spent years by her side. Years in secret and perhaps knowing all kinds of hotels in the city but... Wendy loved her  
  
Didn't she?  
  
"You are a very, very good fuck" Wendy laughed again and pulled Seulgi to a messy kiss that the younger girl had difficulty answering in the middle of all her emotional crisis. Why, out of nowhere, she was beginning to feel that Wendy had only used her?  
  
The silence reigned in the room and Seulgi was the one who dared to break it  
  
"They gave me a scholarship to college, it arrived two weeks ago"  
  
Wendy whistled and then looked at her with excitement on her face  
  
"Really? That's great, Seul."  
  
"I won't accept it anyways"  
  
A new silence became part of the hotel room and Wendy sat on the bed while she covered herself with her pants discarded a few minutes ago in the middle of her unbridled passion. Seulgi looked at her with a raised eyebrow but a certain fear inside her soul  
  
"Why not? It's a great opportunity"  
  
"Yes, but... its at the country's capital and I have to leave you for that and... I don't want to go away from you"  
  
Wendy blinked a couple of times  
  
"Are you really going to drop a scholarship just for me?"  
  
Her tone of voice was cold, very different from what she normally used. Seulgi felt the fear inside her body grow like uncontrolled fire. The person in front of her wasn't Wendy and she didn't even have any idea how she got there  
  
"Seulgi... you and I are just casual sex, we don't have a relationship, you know? You don't have to tie me in. With the skills you have, I doubt you won't have any women"  
  
The fear ended up exploding and instead of that only remained sadness... infinite sadness. Seulgi had known disappointment in the worst way and with the person she trusted the most. Wendy had been her first everything: her first love, her first time and now also her first broken heart  
  
"Wendy... why are you telling me this?"  
  
Seulgi started crying  
  
"I'm just a casual fuck? After all this time?"  
  
Wendy seemed guilty for the words she used and placed her hand on Seulgi's cheek to caress her gently. Wendy looked at her with a deep tenderness that wasn't consistent with what she was saying and came over to kiss each of her tears  
  
"Seul, no... it's not that"  
  
Seulgi pulled away from her hand and looked at her with disgust.  
  
"There can't be a relationship between us Seulgi, do you understand those things? I'm 28 years old and you're 18 How the hell is that going to work? Surely you'll find someone out there who loves you because I'm not that person"  
  
Seulgi sobbed loudly and stormed out of bed before she picked up the clothes that belonged to her from the floor and began to dress  
  
"I trusted you ... how could you do this to me?"  
  
Without saying more, Seulgi left the room and Wendy was left with the sound of the door closing echoing in her brain and Seulgi's tears echoing in her heart  
  
***  
  
The first time Wendy fell in love with Seulgi she was 33 and Seulgi, 23.  
  
It had been exactly five years since that night when Seulgi left forever and Wendy knew no more about her. The girl didn't return to high school after that day, didn't go to the graduation ceremony and her friends couldn't give her any information about her house. It was as if she had vanished with the wind forever  
  
Seulgi's memories gradually faded and although they hadn't completely vanished, they almost didn't hurt Wendy. She constantly wondered what had happened to the girl and if she had achieved what she wanted ...  
  
Wendy eventually resigned from her high school position and dedicated herself to producing music. Her opportunity came a couple of years after she dropped her first job producing the successful hit of a young model trying to make a musical career called Park Sooyoung. The girl with red hair was a goddess: good body, good curves and a heart of gold. Wendy couldn't ask for more in a woman... things were arranged so that they both started dating and now they were enjoying their first two years of marriage  
  
The now producer wasn't going to deny that being next to Sooyoung gave her a lot of happiness and helped her learn what it was like to love for real. It didn't even cross her mind to leave the girl but... every time she saw her acting so happy and so alive, joking so full of that charm that enchanted her... she couldn't help but to remember Seulgi  
  
"Earth to baby~ are you there?"  
  
Wendy shook her head a little before staring at the girl in front of her. Sooyoung waved her hands in front of her while smirking. They were in the middle of a photo shoot for a powerful clothing company and now they had taken a break to wait for the new photographer, Wendy had decided to be around her wife because she had a little free time and she wasn't denying that the girl was even more charming when she had a camera in front of her... it really was something that should be seen  
  
"Sorry, I drifted off a bit"  
  
"What were you thinking about, huh?" Sooyoung took her wife's hands and caressed them  "You really went off"  
  
"Oh its nothing, I was just thinking about your lips and our possible tonight's date"  
  
Sooyoung burst out laughing and threw herself into Wendy's arms, tangling her arms behind her neck so that she could kiss her briefly on the lips and smile widely. Wendy took the opportunity to place her hands on her waist and caress her sides gently.  
  
However the contact was interrupted by a person clearing its throat  
  
It was a woman of short height but with an incredible presence and an aura of dominance and possession that was difficult to explain. She was dressed completely in black: a long coat, trousers and leather boots. Her hair fell in a long dark cascade and her accessories were expensive brands but judging by the look she sent them both she didn't like the idea that they were in a public display of affection  
  
Sooyoung immediately broke away from the hug but didn't lose her playful smile nor let go of Wendy's hand  
  
"Good morning, Miss Park"  
  
"Good morning, Miss Bae. She is my wife and she came to support me while she has free time"  
  
Bae Joohyun was the CEO of the company for which Sooyoung was working on the series of current promotions and, as the strict boss that she was, she was closely monitoring the work the model was doing. Sooyoung knew that she was a woman completely dedicated to her work and she would never like that an employee played around in her work area  
  
Wendy stepped forward to shake the businesswoman's hand almost vigorously  
  
"Nice to meet you" Wendy grinned as she greeted her "Thank you for taking good care of my Sooyoung"  
  
Sooyoung let out a laugh as Joohyun gave a small smile. Just when the hand shake broke, Wendy managed to see that on her finger rested a wedding band made of silver with a luxurious and almost perfect decoration specially made for the small hands she had. The producer was a bit surprised to see the businesswoman's relationship status... people like her usually didn't decide to get married when they were at the peak of their success but there was always an exception to the rule  
  
"Sooyoung is a great model and she is doing a great job, I just came to tell her that the new photographer has arrived and needs her on set immediately"  
  
Sooyoung let out a small sound of joy and ran to the set, Joohyun turned around and walked behind her and Wendy decided to get a little closer to look at her wife in action. Wendy was sure that Sooyoung would be able to charm whoever the new photographer was. The session went off smoothly and Wendy was proud of the splendid work that Sooyoung did modeling each piece of clothing as if they were specially made for her.  
  
"Perfect, Sooyoung! You're ready!"  
  
Wendy felt an electric shock running down her back at that voice... it was too familiar  
  
With hurried steps, she moved closer to the set until she had a clear image of the new photographer: brown hair up to their shoulders, an orange blouse, dark pants and worn tennis shoes the same color as their pants. It closed one eye in a cute way with each picture it took and looked immensely happy there; its smile full of life and eyes getting lost into two crescent moons  
  
A smile that reminded her of empty Pringles bottles in the middle of a room, a shampoo with fruity smell, a perfect silhouette, an innocent concept of love and complete devotion to someone who could not love her...  
  
Seulgi  
  
Her body almost moved by itself, it was almost pushed by some strange force that made her wonder why she was still looking for Seulgi... the last time they had seen each other wasn't necessarily the best. Seulgi had changed a lot, there was nothing left of that girl who looked at her in every music class. Now she looked as a woman much more mature and beautiful, almost perfect  
  
The people in charge of the photo shoot little by little were dispelled and the staff was reduced to just a few people. Seulgi was sitting in front of a computer reviewing the photoshoot after the session with Sooyoung, next to her Joohyun was also concentrating on reviewing which were the best photographs. Wendy could only look from a distance, still too frozen and surprised to understand what was going on  
  
After a few minutes, Sooyoung went away along with Joohyun and Wendy took the opportunity to approach her because she needed it... she needed to take out what was inside her heart.  
  
She needed to meet the new Seulgi. The Seulgi that was a woman  
  
Gathering all the possible courage, she approached her with firm steps  
  
"Seulgi"  
  
She immediately turned her head and looked at her with eyes full of curiosity, a tender expression as always. God... she had become so beautiful. Suddenly Wendy now felt weaker and weaker, all the memories of those nights when she used the poor girl for her personal pleasure were coming as a tide of dirty water. They suffocated her, prevented her from breathing  
  
But Seulgi's expression wasn't full of hate  
  
Her face lit up with a smile  
  
"Wendy! Its so good to see you again!"  
  
Seulgi got up from her seat in front of the computer and wrapped the woman in front of her in a tight hug. Wendy immediately answered and wanted to do it as long as possible because the floral scent was still there and the Seulgi that she knew was still there only... She had grew up  
  
There was no going back  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
Wendy forced herself to rip the words out of her throat  
  
"I came with my wife, Sooyoung. I wanted to see how she works"  
  
Seulgi smiled even more widely when she heard Wendy speak those words. She was genuinely happy and the producer wondered how much kindness was saved in that girl's heart  
  
"Really?! Wow…so you married a goddess, huh?"  
  
Wendy wanted to tell her that she already met the goddess before but she was too weak  
  
"Look, Wendy" Seulgi raised her left hand and showed it to Wendy: on her ring finger rested a silver wedding band with luxurious decorations, exactly like the one she had seen on Joohyun "I'm also married, since two months ago in fact"  
  
Wendy felt something in her collapse, something slowly died away. Something similar to what she felt years ago when Seulgi closed the door of the hotel room with extreme strength  
  
"Bae Joohyun, huh?" Wendy feigned a smile and she hope it wasn't very obvious "And you say that I got myself a goddess when you have yours"  
  
"Oh come on" Seulgi let out a laugh "Hyun is a very hardworking person, we met at an event in fact and she is..." the girl lost herself in her thoughts and eventually smiled in a gentle way "She is amazing"  
  
The producer knew that she had fallen too low  
  
Never in her life had she wanted so much to be someone else  
  
Never in her life she craved so much to be Bae Joohyun  
  
"This is the last job that Hyun will do here, next year we'll travel to Europe and intend to stay there to expand the brand... for years we've been planning a good place to live and where to start our family and in the end we decided that there is a good place"  
  
A good place to live. A family. Things that Wendy was never going to give her. That she would never give  
  
"That's amazing, Seul" Wendy smiled sadly and now it was true "I'm glad to see you're so happy"  
  
"It's thanks to you, if you hadn't broken my heart that day maybe I would never have opened my eyes... you and I are different, Wendy, I can finally see it"  
  
Wendy wanted to cry but she could hold back the tears  
  
"Still I'm sorry" her voice sounded fragile "Sorry to hurt you like that"  
  
"It's okay... it's been a long time since then. Don't worry"  
  
The door of the set opened suddenly and Sooyoung jumped out full of happiness while Joohyun remained in the door. Seulgi raised her hand to greet her and then went back to Wendy  
  
"I loved seeing you again, Wendy, I hope you're happy too"  
  
How can I be happy now that I saw you? I was supposed to be happy because I didn't have you...  
  
Seulgi wrapped her in another hug  
  
"I love you Seulgi" Wendy spoke with a lump in her throat  
  
"Me too" replied the girl "A lot"  
  
They broke away from the hug and Seulgi ran to Joohyun in a cheerful way. Wendy couldn't contain herself and let the tears flow without a stop, Sooyoung saw her and immediately forgot about her joy. She was now worried and almost ran to Wendy to dry her tears.  
  
"What's wrong, why are you crying?"  
  
Sooyoung came up to her to kiss each of her tears and Wendy closed her eyes as she remembered that day once more. That day when she tasted Seulgi's tears and said goodbye to her  
  
Now she said goodbye forever  
  
"It's nothing Sooyoung... I'm just happy"


	7. Our Own Little Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two troublemakers fall in love with a pair of sisters but the darkness behind their stories goes far beyond a bunch of teenage problems

"I really can't believe we're doing this, Sooyoung"  
  
"Oh come on, unnie. Life is always funnier with a little adventure"  
  
"Yeah, of course. My ass is freezing right now and that's the only real adventure"  
  
Kang Seulgi wasn't a girl who enjoyed getting into trouble or experiencing 'strong emotions' but her loyalty to her best friend, Park Sooyoung, made her get into trouble and deal with 'strong emotions' such as the anxiety she felt for what they were about to do...  
  
Sooyoung took out her phone from one of her jacket pockets, her hands froze with the icy breeze of the autumn night that crossed the city, she should be sleeping or probably preparing for the exam that she had first thing in the morning but it was a thousand times better to be here, outside the house of her girlfriend, right next to the window facing her room, waiting for her to come out.  
  
She carried the phone to her ear after dialing a number and waiting for it to ring on the other side. Soon an angelic voice answered her call  
  
"Sooyoung...?" She sounded sleepy, probably because she was exhausted after the thousand and one activities she did in her day which ranged from being the first place in her class to being the president of the student council.  
  
"Unnie~" Sooyoung spoke in a sing-song voice, something she always used to annoy her favorite unnie "Look at your window and if you can call Seungwan-unnie too I have something for her"  
  
The line at the other side died and all was silent with the exception of the broken 'Fuck' that Seulgi let out when a shiver ran through her body and the squats she'd been doing for hours were no longer enough to stop the cold and pump blood to her whole body. The window opened after minutes and from it, Joohyun emerged with a thick jacket and a hat with rabbit ears that Sooyoung remembered having given her a couple of months ago during her birthday.  
  
Sooyoung smiled as soon as she saw her in the window and Joohyun copied her smile, tucking a strand of unruly hair behind her ear. The heart of the rebellious red-haired girl gave a strong jump inside her chest and, if she didn't sigh, it was because she managed to contain herself.  
  
Oh god, she is so beautiful  
  
"Are you coming down, unnie? We have a date"  
  
At the same moment that Sooyoung and Joohyun were talking, Seungwan appeared from behind Joohyun with her hair messed up by the pillow, a sleepy expression and a big yawn that she tried to hide behind her jacket. Seulgi, who had remained silent while doing squats for her own good, let out an excited scream and ran to just below the window.  
  
"Seungwanie!"  
  
"Oh! Hi, Seul!" Despite how sleepy she was, Seungwan still could smile at her girlfriend in the sweetest way  
  
"Come on, jump! I'll wait for you right here!"  
  
Just when Seungwan was about to lift her leg over the window frame and jump (not considering that they were on a second floor and physics would definitely not give her much of an advantage) Joohyun stopped her by pulling her arm and scolding her through closed teeth. Sooyoung almost does the same with Seulgi who had a pout on her face for the feat she hadn't accomplished  
  
"Wait a minute" Joohyun said as she fixed her rabbit hat "We'll go down right away"  
  
Seulgi jumped excitedly from one side to the other as she completely forgot about the cold and chanted that she would soon see her beloved girlfriend. Sooyoung just looked at the window with a face full of love... that woman would be her downfall  
  
Bae Joohyun and Bae Seungwan are sisters three years apart from each other. They go to the same college although they study different careers. Praised at school for their impressive grades and great academic performance in general, but even that doesn't mean they are completely different opposites: Seungwan loves to bake while Joohyun prefers to cook, Seungwan loves video games and Joohyun would rather watch a film a thousand times. Seungwan loves Kang Seulgi and Joohyun loves Park Sooyoung.  
  
Seulgi and Sooyoung are best friends since life provided them with consciousness. They have always been there for each other and they are always partners in crime. If the school has something similar to a detention room then probably Seulgi and Sooyoung are there: they are problematic, mocking, sarcastic and pure pranksters. Seulgi is usually only involved in following Sooyoung while the latter is the mastermind behind every evil plan  
  
No one would think for a moment that the public enemies number one and the two best students of the entire college were involved in a romantic relationship. But fate was like that sometimes: selfish and capricious about the way it does things and, therefore, it didn't even care who ended up getting tangled in its mythical red thread. They had to sneak in the sisters parents were already sleeping soundly. Seulgi had parents who pushed her to 'runaway' with Seungwan even if it was forbidden meanwhile Sooyoung...  
  
Joohyun and Seungwan finally got out and left the house, both with thick jackets to try to protect themselves from the cold. As soon as Seulgi spotted Seungwan, she ran to her and hugged her tightly, taking her feet off the ground and spinning her around before kissing her lips repeatedly. Seungwan could only laugh as she circled her arms behind Seulgi's neck and answered every kiss. If those two had something in special it was that they loved each other with madness, in a ridiculously cheesy way. It was as if they were always living their honeymoon  
  
"Hey," Seulgi greeted her with a smile as she looked at her through crescent eyes. "Did you miss me?"  
  
"Of course I did!" Seungwan pouted and closed her eyes as she received another kiss from Seulgi but this time on her cheek "Do you think that six hours away from you isn't hell?"  
  
Seulgi wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed her cheek again  
  
"Aww honey .. I promise that next time I'll come earlier, is that okay?"  
  
"You two are gross" Joohyun said as she approached Sooyoung and let the redheaded girl wrap her in a tight hug from behind that calmed the cold she felt since leaving the comfort of her home.  
  
"You're not one to talk, unnie!" Seulgi shouted as Seungwan clung more to their embrace  
  
Joohyun felt a pair of lips trailing her neck and, thanks to the temperature, they didn't feel as warm as usual. Even so, the feeling of protection couldn't be compared to anything she felt before: her place was in Sooyoung's arms and she wasn't going to question it for a single moment.  
  
"You're shaking, unnie," Sooyoung whispered against her neck and began rubbing her arms to try and give her some warmth "I'm sorry"  
  
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I accepted this, ok? Don't apologize."  
  
Joohyun turned her body so she could face Sooyoung and it was there when she found an image that she hadn't noticed minutes ago, perhaps because of the lack of light and the height she was at: a busted lip still with blood, a scratch just above her eyebrow, a reddened cheek (almost turning purple) that the cold couldn't hide  
  
There was Sooyoung with those marks again  
  
Joohyun traced her girlfriend's features with her fingertips, going from her forehead to her lips as Sooyoung closed her eyes and frowned at the pain she must surely feel. Joohyun copied her gesture but not for pain... at least not physical  
  
"Did he hit you again, Sooyoung?"  
  
The girl just shook her head  
  
"Is nothing"  
  
Shee pulled away from Joohyun's embrace and took her by the hand. Seulgi and Seungwan had remained silent while looking at the other couple  
  
"Let's go now" Sooyoung spoke after a few moments "We are losing time"  
  
***  
  
The couples had driven to Seulgi's house. Her parents had decided to go on a trip and they gave her permission to use the house for a full week on the condition that she kept it clean and held responsible for anything else that happened. For Seulgi that was no problem, she'd always been disciplined with the limits that her parents established  
  
Just now she was sitting in the backyard of her house with the frozen grass melting into her bones but being able to ignore it just for the fact that she was accompanied, Seungwan had sat in the middle of her legs with her back hitting her chest. A huge pink blanket with patterns of brown bears protected them from the autumn breeze and kept the heat from leaving their bodies. Joohyun and Sooyoung had decided to stay inside after dinner and clean all the dirty dishes.  
  
"Look at that one!" Seulgi pointed enthusiastically to a star that could barely be seen above the cloudy sky "I think it's the only one I saw today"  
  
"We chose a bad day to count stars, Seul." Seungwan let out a giggle and took Seulgi's hands between hers, kissing her knuckles again and again. A strong breeze made Seulgi wrap her arms more tightly around Seungwan's body and the girl snuggled closer to her chest.  
  
The silence was present between them but it was something they were used to and it didn't bother them. Their relationship was so full of confidence that they could spend hours without saying a word and it was the best way to say they loved each other, silence was only a way to reaffirm their deepest feelings. Seulgi leaned her head against Seungwan's shoulder and let out a long sigh. Seungwan brought one of her hands back and stroked Seulgi's hair several times.  
  
"Are you worried about something, Seul?"  
  
Seulgi nodded a couple of times before speaking  
  
"I'm worried about us... I mean, we're fine and everything is perfect, I really can't ask for anyone but you but I don't like to see you in secret. It's only a matter of time before your parents find us and what will happen then? Will I have to stop seeing you forever? I...I couldn't stand it"  
  
Seungwan turned her body so she could take her girlfriend's face between her hands  
  
"I don't want you to think about that"  
  
"I can't help it... I'm really afraid of losing you"  
  
Seungwan left a kiss on the nose of her beloved while she closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sensations  
  
"You're not going to lose me, I'm willing to face my parents as long as I stay by your side, Seul..."  
  
Seungwan and Joohyun's parents weren't bad, much less two ogres without sense of understanding. But their daughters future was what mattered most to them, even over their happiness. They always 'looked for the best for them' no matter the means to get to it.  
  
According to her parents, Seulgi didn't have the future that Seungwan deserved even though she was an excellent girl with lots of values and education. Sooyoung was no different... she already had the rank of a 'nobody' who was only interested in the economic part of a relationship and nothing else. Seulgi and Sooyoung didn't belong to the future that said parents had ready for their daughters  
  
But both Seungwan and Joohyun were willing to die on the line defending their lovers  
  
Seulgi felt a lump in her throat as she heard Seungwan's words. They didn't surprise her because she was sure that Seungwan would defend her from the very flames of hell but that didn't take away that she felt terribly wrong to see her girlfriend in secret, as if it was something they should be ashamed of. How could she be ashamed of something that made her immensely happy?  
  
Seulgi could never be ashamed of Seungwan. Especially when she was such a smart and rational woman. Always thinking about every one of her choices and calculating each step.  
  
Seungwan leaned to catch Seulgi's lips in a deep kiss and didn't let her say another word. Seulgi hid her tears between the lipstick flavor of her beloved and let the uncontrolled breeze erase all the doubts she had about it, hoping it will take away all that she doubted in her life  
  
In the guest room of the house, Joohyun was sitting on the edge of the bed while Sooyoung stared at her with her arms crossed standing in front of her. With the artificial light of the room it was almost impossible to hide the blows and marks on her face and her entire body. There was no part of her being that wasn't marked by some kind of wound and Joohyun felt that her heart was breaking with each new mark she found  
  
"Are you going to explain me what happened?" Joohyun said while crossing her arms "You can't fool me"  
  
"I'm not trying to fool you, I just want you to be calm. Nothing happened" the redhead girl was still in her same pose and only changed her weight from one foot to another  
  
"Nothing, Sooyoung?" Joohyun raised her voice without becoming a shout "Do you think nothing of that blow on your cheek? And that busted lip? Is that nothing?"  
  
Sooyoung kept silent  
  
"I just want you to tell me something: he hit you again, right?"  
  
The redhead girl let out a sigh of frustration and her arms fell to both sides of her body  
  
"Yes, yes unnie. Happy now?" Donwoo beat the fuck out of me again"  
  
Park Donwoo. The name that Joohyun never forgot even though she heard it very rarely. The man who physically abused Sooyoung every time he lost consciousness in the middle of his drunkenness. The man who was supposed to act as Sooyoung's father after her biological father left her more than 20 years ago  
  
Joohyun knew that Sooyoung didn't have a very good family. Her mother loved and respected her, she was always understanding and caring but she was busy all day working to earn at least enough income to bring food to the table. Donwoo was the alcoholic who took everything away, owner of a bar where Sooyoung worked occasionally serving drinks to customers. It wasn't the right life for someone like Sooyoung but she refused to be helped  
  
Donwoo was disgusting but they had no choice but to endure it. The profits from the bar were good and helped to live decently. Even if her mother got rid of Donwoo, Sooyoung knew that they wouldn't last long living independently. The money made them stay together with that abusive bastard. Sooyoung just looked forward to the end of her college career to be able to find a decent job and get her mother out of that hell.  
  
Because if something mattered to the girl in this world, that was her mother and she rather have Donwoo tear her to pieces before he even thinks about putting a hand on her mother.  
  
And Joohyun knew that  
  
The older girl got up from the bed and walked to Sooyoung, caressing her cheek and leaving a light kiss on her lips before looking into her eyes. There was an awful lot of soul in those dark colored orbs but Joohyun couldn't find a way to get that suffering out of her eyes  
  
"What happened this time?"  
  
"He insists that I do a dance show for the clients next week ... when I refused, he gave me a good one on the cheek, I tried to tell him that my face is my strongest feature but he refused to hear" Sooyoung smiled softly and Joohyun sighed. How could she joke in the middle of all this? Surely it was a defense mechanism of her own body to ignore the potential trauma she was developing  
  
"Don't shut me out" Joohyun returned to kiss her lips briefly "Let me help you get away from him"  
  
"We can't, unnie... we can't, we need his money now. Mom can't work that much and I'm a damn nuisance"  
  
"You're not, okay?" Joohyun said while holding the girl's face with both hands "You're strong and you're beautiful. You are... you are the person I love the most"  
  
Sooyoung grinned widely as she closed her eyes. If she had those words then everything was okay, those words gave her life and desire to keep fighting. Even if nothing was going well in her life, Joohyun was what gave her strength  
  
"Say it again, unnie"  
  
"I love you, Sooyoung"  
  
Joohyun kissed the younger girl again now more intensely, more passionately. Their lips clashed in a constant game of dominance without an apparent winner. Joohyun ran her hands under the blouse that Sooyoung wore and delighted in the way the girl's skin reacted under her fingertips and the coldness of her hands.  
  
"Make love to me" Sooyoung said in a whisper against the lips of the older "Show me how much you love me"  
  
With a slight nod from her head, Joohyun pushed her slowly towards the bed and crossed her arms across her body to get rid of the first garment of the night, throwing it to the side of the room and stalking Sooyoung with a heavy look full of lust. A look that filled the emptiness inside Sooyoung's heart while she was shedding her blouse  
  
In the other room, Seulgi and Seungwan were loving each other in the same way  
  
***  
  
The morning shine brightly on the two naked bodies on the bed. The sun's rays were very weak but strong enough to sneak through the corners of the window and land directly on the face of Seulgi who hugged Seungwan from behind, their legs entwined and her arm resting on her girlfriend's toned abdomen  
  
The digital clock in shape of a bear right next to her bed told her that it was past ten in the morning. It was a school day so Seungwan's parents would surely believe that she was in classes early and wouldn't see her until late. At least Seulgi had one less thing to worry about now.  
  
She took time to admire the sleeping features of her girlfriend  
  
She's so beautiful  
  
She kissed her bare shoulder and then snuggled against her back trying to bring her a little more warmth. The cold outside had only intensified  
  
"Seul...?" Seungwan's sleepy voice took her out of her thoughts  
  
"I'm here Wannie... don't worry about the time, sleep a little more"  
  
Seungwan obeyed her without a question and went back to sleep deeply. Seulgi kissed her shoulder again and covered both of their bodies with the thin sheet that covered the bed. It was mornings like these ones that made her think about how much she loved Seungwan, how willing she was to give everything for her no matter how much it will cost. It was these kinds of mornings that gave her the energy to continue  
  
"I promise I'll make you happy" Seulgi whispered to no one "We are going to build our own little future and no one is going to stop me from loving you"  
  
Seungwan couldn't hear the words but for Seulgi it was enough to have her by her side  
  
In the other room, Joohyun promised the same to a sleeping Sooyoung

***

Exactly two weeks went by since that little runaway in the middle of the night.  
  
The Bae sisters were in their room. They're definitely past the age in which they share a room or bed just for fun but that never stops them from 'annoying' each other in the busier afternoons. Joohyun visits Seungwan's bedroom whenever she has work and Seungwan does the same. Now it was no exception, Seungwan had an essay due tomorrow while Joohyun had the usual homework. So the oldest of the sisters lays flat on the bed and the other claimed the desk completely with tons of books and her laptop.  
  
Seungwan was lost on her phone while texting with Seulgi. She let out a laugh out of nowhere that made Joohyun stop writing on the clean sheet of her notebook and take a look at her with a raised eyebrow. Seungwan immediately blushed and felt ashamed of her reaction before making a slight bow in the direction of her sister who had already left her homework forgotten.  
  
"Sorry, unnie," the girl said "But Seul is in detention again, she says she fell off her bench in the middle of the algebra class and the teacher thought she did it on purpose, look at her unnie, she looks so cute"  
  
The youngest of the sisters raised her phone to show it in the direction of Joohyun  
  
The screen of the device showed a spontaneous selfie from Seulgi sitting on a bench in the empty classroom with a expression of complete boredom and hate for the world. Joohyun couldn't help but smile slightly when she saw the suffering of her favorite bear-in-law, it was always a delight to take a look at her very bad luck. However, there was another person who called Joohyun's attention and the photo wouldn't show them... the classroom was really empty after all and she was definitely sure that the equation 'Kang Seulgi = problems' was never complete without a 'Park Sooyoung' in the middle.  
  
Could it be possible that maybe Sooyoung is changing?  
  
"Ask her if Sooyoung is with her"  
  
Seungwan only nodded a couple of times and then continued texting. Joohyun returned to see her notebook and continued making notes that will help her to understand the text she was reading. They spent a couple of minutes in complete silence, Seungwan even returned to read and do her essay until they finally heard the little bell signaling a new notification on her phone.  
  
"Sorry if I didn't answer, the teacher woke up from his nap" Seungwan read aloud "Nope, Sooyoung isn't even in school today"  
  
Joohyun raised her head at that last sentence. If another thing hadn't caught her attention, that definitely made all the alarms go off inside her brain. Sooyoung absent from school was never a good sign...  
  
"She skipped all her classes?" the older one said in a hoarse voice, full of doubt but at the same time worry. Seungwan looked at her with the same anguish as Joohyun looked for her phone somewhere in the room and made an effort not to have a nervous breakdown. Hee fingers flew over the screen of her phone until she found Sooyoung's number among the thousand of other numbers she had (the disadvantages of being the president of the student council). The other side of the line rang a couple of times before someone answered.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Sooyoung?" Joohyun was having trouble listening. There was too much noise in the background: a loud noise of a crows cheering for their favorite team and commentators narrating every movement "Where the hell are you?"  
  
"At home... damn it, Donwoo! Care to turn that shit off?! I'm using the phone, man!"  
  
"This is MY house and I do what I want, you bitch! Get out of here!"  
  
"Ugh! Wait a minute, unnie"  
  
The noise gradually faded until nothing more was heard other than Sooyoung's voice. Joohyun sighed  
  
"I had to leave the house, Game day and you know how that bastard is... I'm sorry"  
  
"Don't apologize, are you okay? Seulgi told me you didn't go to school"  
  
"Ah…its not so serious, unnie. I worked until late at night in the bar and didn't have the time to wake up to go to class"  
  
Joohyun felt that things were going worse than just that but her mouth couldn't get the right words to use without hurting Sooyoung's trust. After an intense filtering process inside her brain, Joohyun was finally able to continue the conversation  
  
"Are you sure everything is fine? You can't hide much from me and you know it"  
  
Sooyoung let out a laugh on the other side of the phone  
  
"Of course I know, I'm really fine, unnie... don't worry so much about me. Mom should come around in any second and that should stop that bastard from taking it too far. I'm sorry if I have to leave so soon but... I should keep the guy from pissing in every corner of the house, I'll call you later"  
  
"Good, take care, Sooyoung"  
  
"I love you, unnie"  
  
Those three magic words were listed within the list of words that Joohyun hated to pronounce. It was hard for her to say them and, although she had used them before, that didn't mean she was very used to reciting them for her girlfriend. Again she forced herself to say something but nothing came out of her throat.  
  
"See you later"  
  
She hung up the call and looked at her phone as if it was haunted. On the screen was the photograph she took of Sooyoung while they were visiting an amusement park, just in front of the merry-go-round. Joohyun looked at her with an expression of pain and worry more than one of happiness and joy at the beautiful memory. They went there during the summer holidays that just ended, Sooyoung looked so happy to go to a place she almost never visited in her entire life and Joohyun felt infected by that happiness. Joohyun didn't refrain from taking her hand or share her cotton candy much less kissing her tirelessly as they went up in the ferris wheel and looked at the whole city covered with lights  
  
"Unnie" Seungwan's voice broke her thoughts "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing" Joohyun returned to write in her notebook "Sooyoung is fine"  
  
The younger sister choose not to insist anymore and continue with her own activities in the same way as her sister did. If Joohyun didn't want to talk that meant she shouldn't insist  
  
***  
  
"Do you remember that you told me you didn't want to date me in secret, Seul? I have the perfect solution"  
  
Seungwan and Seulgi were sitting in the school cafeteria during lunchtime. Seulgi devoured the rest of her instant ramen while Seungwan was fiddling with the rest of her chopped fruit. The words she said were enough for Seulgi to sip the rest of her meal in one gulp, close her eyes at the burning heat of the contents and clean her mouth of any leftovers.  
  
"Really?!" shouted the girl with her mouth full, Seungwan wondered when she would take away that adorable (but disgusting) habit  
  
"Yes. Look... Dad is celebrating his birthday in two days and he plans to have dinner with us and mom, if I take you to dinner then I can introduce you to both of them and we won't have to date in secret. Joohyun-unnie is planning the same with Sooyoung"  
  
"But ... how are you sure your parents will accept us?" Seulgi scraped the inside of the plastic cup with the chopsticks as if she wanted to have more ramen.  
  
"Seul" Seungwan took her girlfriend's hands in hers and forced her to face her. Their eyes met immediately and Seulgi choked a gasp in her throat because it always brought her a ridiculous satisfaction to look at the brown orbs of her lover "I told you that I'm willing to face them only for you but if we don't try then we'll never know the result. We're preparing for war without even knowing if we are going to fight"  
  
Seulgi smiled widely at those words and took Seungwan's hands to her lips to kiss her knuckles again and again.  
  
"Very good. I trust you, Wannie and I hope things go well"  
  
That's exactly how two days went by until the birthday of the patriarch of the Bae house finally arrived. Everyone was gathered at the dinner table.  
  
"Is your friend not coming, Seungwan?" her mother spoke as she began to set the plates full of food on the table. Joohyun sat next to her sister at the other end of the table while her father sat in the main chair. There were still two empty chairs at each sister's side.  
  
"She should arrive at any second, Mom" Seungwan added cheerfully and turned her head to look at Joohyun as if trying to ask where the girls were. Joohyun couldn't answer her even if she wanted to.  
  
The doorbell rang soon. Joohyun offered to open and almost ran to the door.  
  
After opening she had to hold a gasp not to scare their parents.  
  
There was Seulgi and Sooyoung but the latter was even more beaten than the last time. The blow on her cheek was much more obvious and painful than the last time and now there was blood on her shirt. Joohyun felt her blood boiling but who could she blame? Who could be the target of her anger when there was no one to blame right there?  
  
"Hello, unnie" Seulgi greeted enthusiastically "Sorry for the delay but there was a lot of traffic"  
  
"Come in," Joohyun whispered as she looked at Sooyoung intently. Seulgi stepped forward on the house and the other couple stayed at the door. Joohyun tried to get close to Sooyoung and cradle her face between her hands but she moved away from them quickly, maybe wanting to avoid the pain and the burning of her wounds.  
  
Maybe wanting to keep her from looking at the tears in her eyes  
  
"Sooyoung?"  
  
"I'm fine, let's have dinner"  
  
The table became a graveyard as soon as Seulgi and Sooyoung arrived and sat next to the people they loved. The sister's father looked at them with eyes full of rage and the mother tried to divert attention to something else without being very successful because it only took a few minutes for the bomb to explode in the form of fury right from the Bae's father. None of the sisters remembered that their parents had already heard rumors before for both girls, rumors not exactly good, and they wouldn't stop from showing the obvious disagreement they felt for the love choices of their daughters.  
  
"So you pay us like this, Joohyun? Seungwan? Bringing home these... two? And the worst of all is that they try to hide it under the excuse of being just friends. I know very well where things are going here!"  
  
"Dad, why don't you take the time to know them? Seulgi loves me and Sooyoung also loves my unnie" Seungwan complained immediately "Are you really going to ignore them just like that?"  
  
"What do you want me to do, Seungwan? I don't like at all the idea of you being a damn lesbian alongside your sister. Didn't we set a good example for you, your mother and me? This is a real marriage! We taught you how to be a woman! I can't believe you turned out to be a fucking dyke"  
  
Seungwan felt on the verge of crying and lowered her gaze to hide her tears. Her mother just crossed her arms and didn't seem to give any sign of support in her direction. Seulgi was the first and only one who came out in defense of her girlfriend.  
  
"I don't think that's the right way to express yourself, Mr. Bae"  
"Shut your mouth, Kang. I had an image of you full of virtues and right now they just went down the drain"  
  
"And that's perfectly fine, sir, but I don't think Seungwan deserves that treatment from you, she works every day and she is a great daughter, if you don't agree with her choices, I think is best to talk"  
  
"Talk? I don't have anything to talk with a fucking lesbian"  
  
Joohyun couldn't hold herself anymore. She hit the table with an open hand and stood up  
  
"And what exactly is a woman for you, dad? The one that hides all your cheating? Do you think we're too stupid to not know that you're fucking your stupid secretary?"  
  
The darker secret of the family came to light. Joohyun was the one who first learned the truth that one day she visited her father's office and found him in a very compromising situation with his young secretary. She immediately went home and told her mother but the woman pretended that nothing happened, she pretended that Joohyun was lying and she was only jealous of the relationship that both parents had. The only person who believed Joohyun was Seungwan.  
  
"Unnie, no, stop" Seungwan tried to stop her with a lump in her throat distorting her voice  
  
"No, Seungwan, I'm not going to let dad fill his mouth with morals while acting like a bastard"  
  
"What do you know about taking care of a family, Joohyun?" Their mother intervened for the first time "I did it because I love you"  
  
"Well, your idea of love is really sick because I rather be a lesbian a thousand times than a coward who sleeps with girls as young as his children"  
  
The man immediately got up from the table and raised a hand to hit Joohyun. But Sooyoung was faster and took the father's wrist with strength while looking at him coldly. He had just crossed a very thin line.  
  
"Don't you dare to touch her" Sooyoung hissed "Don't even think about that"  
  
The father broke free from the grip and dropped his fury on Sooyoung's already damaged cheek. The red-haired girl only remained with her head turned to the side while Seulgi already got up from her seat to try and help her best friend. The man spoke with violence etched in his voice.  
  
"Shut up! Have you gone out of your fucking minds?! I'm the man here! And none of you will come to question me! Especially you, Park! You, who is an unhappy good for nothing. You barely have decent grades, everyone knows you because of your gold-diggig skills and that blow on your cheek... surely you had it for being a bitch. But what can you expect from a stupid girl, product of a slut and an alcoholic asshole"  
  
Joohyun could see Sooyoung tensing, her body turning into a statue. Sooyoung looked at the sisters' father with hatred, an expression that Joohyun  never saw in the woman she loved the most. Everything looked like things were going to escalate to something worse until Seulgi spoke  
  
"I'm getting out of here, there's nothing to discuss with a disgusting human being like you are, Mr. Bae. Let's go Seungwan."  
  
Seulgi took her girlfriend's hand and led her to the door, wrapping a hand around her waist to protect and comfort her a little. At that point the girl was an emotional wreck and Seulgi didn't know how she could handle the situation.   
  
"You don't have to put up with this, Sooyoung" Joohyun told her girlfriend while cradling her face "Let's go"  
  
Sooyoung didn't look like herself even when she moved away from the discussion  
  
"Where do you think you're going?!" the man claimed  
  
"Just shut up!" Seulgi exclaimed "You and your wife can hold hands and go to hell!"  
  
The four girls left the house immediately and went to Seulgi's house, which remained empty by their parents  
  
***  
  
"That must be the most fucked up family dinner of our lives. I'm sorry, Seul... I shouldn't have taken you to that nightmare"  
  
Seulgi, Seungwan, Joohyun and Sooyoung were in the living room of Seulgi's house. Hee parent's trip had extended after the bad weather caused them to cancel several of their flights back home. Joohyun was now healing Sooyoung's wounds who was sitting on a sofa and Seulgi and Seungwan shared the only loveseat in the room while they hugged and tried to put an end to the bad taste in their mouths.  
  
Sooyoung complained after Joohyun put pressure on a specially deep cut.  
  
"It was great how you defended Wannie, unnie" said Seulgi  
  
Joohyun showed a small smile while still she still concentrated on her duty as an impromptu nurse  
  
"You told him the whole truth" Seungwan continued amid the laughter "That was the most amazing thing you have ever done, thank you, unnie, I love you"  
  
Sooyoung complained again and this time she tried to take Joohyun's hand off her, the older one jumped in fright at the redhead attitude. Since they left the house Sooyoung hadn't said a single word and her expression was too somber, perhaps too tired from everything that happened.  
  
"I don't think we can go home for now" Seungwan sighed and snuggled closer to Seulgi's chest "Tomorrow we must look for a place to stay"  
  
"Don't worry about that for now" Seulgi kissed Seungwan's cheek and then pushed her slightly to get up from the loveseat "Let's go take a bath and sleep ok? We'll think better tomorrow. By the way, Joohyun-unnie" Seulgi looked at Joohyun who was packing the first aid kit she used to take care of Sooyoung "There are clean sheets and clothes for you and Sooyoungie in the guest room"  
  
"Thank you, Seulgi"  
  
Seulgi and Seungwan went lost in the corridors while Joohyun stayed with Sooyoung. After looking at the empty look in her girlfriend eyes, Joohyun heart didn't resist anymore and sighed, placing a long kiss on her forehead.  
  
"You are quiet"  
  
Sooyoung nodded  
  
"I have nothing to say"  
  
Joohyun could feel the cold, rough voice. Sooyoung wasn't at her best and this is when she needed her the most  
  
"Do you want to take a bath? Your wounds won't bother you and..."  
  
It was there when Sooyoung exploded unable to contain her dark side anymore  
  
"Stop treating me like this, I don't want your pity"  
  
Joohyun looked at her scared  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I don't want your pity, or your sister's, much less your parents. Stop treating me like that... you know that what that man said is true and that's why you feel guilty, you've never healed my wounds before. Do you feel guilty that your father just told the truth about myseld? That I'm no more than the daughter of a whore and an alcoholic? Is that it?"  
  
"Sooyoung, no... I did it because..."  
  
"Don't lie to me!" Sooyoung shouted as she got up from her own seat and faced Joohyun. Her eyes were full of pain, pain that darkened her soul and hurt her heart in all kind of ways "Stop pretending that you're hurt from what hurts me! You do it out of pity! Because your father knows my truth!"  
  
"Of course not, Sooyoung" Joohyun protested immediately as she approached her "I'm worried about you, I don't care what my father says. I'll never use you, I..."  
  
Joohyun had to force herself to say those words.   
  
Come on, Bae Joohyun. You have to say them  
  
"Donwoo beat the fuck out of me before I left my house and then he sent my mother to the hospital, she was alone with that stupid man at home after I left. He was drinking but she didn't know that and Donwoo went crazy when she saw her coming from work" Sooyoung's voice sounded fragile but her expression didn't bend "I couldn't protect her... I could've protected her if I wasn't on my way to your so called dinner and even though I knew about my mother, I chose to go to your house because I had faith. I was supposed to receive support and I only ran into hate and anger. As if I hadn't had enough of that"  
  
Sooyoung took a few steps away from Joohyun, towards the front door of the house.   
  
"It was all pity, isn't it? You just tried to make yourself feel better because your father hates me... every time you kissed me, every time you took me to a date it was just for pity, isn't it, unnie? Did it feel good to fuck me?! Did it feel good every time you had sex with me?!  
  
Do it now, Joohyun  
  
"I did all of that because I love you!" Joohyun shouted without caring about if Seungwan and Seulgi would rush out of the room to see what was going on "It wasn't just sex for me, Sooyoung, I love you! I love you more than my voice can tell you! Did you never felt it? It was always love, pity wouldn't make me kiss you, pity wouldn't make me love you, pity wouldn't make me worry about how you are, it's love, Sooyoung, it's only love!"  
  
Sooyoung felt her eyes fill with tears and fell to the ground on her knees, Joohyun approached her immediately and wrapped her in a strong hug before kissing the side of her head  
  
"I can't do this anymore" Sooyoung whispered in the midst of her crying as she snuggled against Joohyun looking for her protection "Unnie... I can't do this anymore"  
  
Joohyun heard her sister's laughter and realized how hard things were because on one hand Seungwan felt protected with Seulgi and on the other hand her girl collapsed into a thousand pieces unable to bear the burden and stress of a life that wasn't meant for her  
  
Sooyoung didn't feel safe  
  
But the older girl couldn't find the words. She was never a woman of words after all  
  
So what she did was caress Sooyoung's tear-soaked cheeks and leave a long kiss on her lips, putting heart and soul into that contact. She felt Sooyoung slowly melting in her arms and letting the pain go away. Eventually they needed air and they had to break away, Joohyun continued to caress her cheeks.  
  
"Don't shut me out," whispered the older "Give me your pain, Sooyoung, give me your sorrows and let me carry them with you... it's not out of pity, it's because I love you" Joohyun pressed her forehead against her girlfriend's "Let's do this together, okay?"  
  
Sooyoung cradled Joohyun's face in her own hands  
  
"Together? Really?"  
  
"Yes, let's find help for you and your mother, let's look for opportunities. You don't deserve to suffer all this... tomorrow we can go and file a report for these bruises and for what happened to your mother"  
  
There was so much determination in Joohyun's eyes that Sooyoung couldn't contain the pride in her chest. This woman really loved her to the last fiber of her being  
  
"I promise that I'll give you whatever you need... we'll come out of this together Sooyoung"  
  
Sooyoung nodded relentlessly and a small smile played across her face.  
  
Joohyun was opening her heart completely to her in order to support her and that was the biggest breakthrough in their relationship.  
  
"Together, unnie"  
  
***  
  
Seulgi jumped up and down on her bed, Seungwan could only laugh at her girlfriend's attitude  
  
"Why are you so happy, Seul?"  
  
"Why?! Well, because my girlfriend is going to live with me!"  
  
Seungwan smiled at that sentence: living together... it was a dream not yet fulfilled for both but it looked much closer than on other occasions. She knew that it wouldn't be easy to meet that goal, even though Seulgi's parents would support and allow her to stay at home while they look for a better place to live.  
  
Seulgi finally burned down her euphoria and dropped by Seungwan's side. There was barely enough room for both of them, after all it was a single bed just meant for Seulgi and getting comfortable was quite an adventure. That didn't stop Seulgi from hugging her girlfriend around the waist and tangling her legs with hers in the style of a koala  
  
"I don't want to think about anything but you" Seungwan spoke softly as she stroked Seulgi's hair and almost heard her purring under the touch of her fingers "There are so many things in my head but... I want you to be the only one"  
  
Seulgi smiled widely and went over to kiss her lover lips briefly.  
  
"If you're with me, I don't care about anything" Seungwan added. "Even if everything goes wrong... I'll always find a solution for that, but I don't think I'll find a solution if I lose you"  
  
"You're not going to lose me, never, we've taken the first step, haven't we? We aren't a secret anymore "Seulgi lost herself in her own mind for a moment before continuing "I know we'll get out of this, Wan"  
  
Seungwan kissed Seulgi's forehead  
  
"I'm sure of that"  
  
***  
  
Time went without rest. After all kinds of adversity, the girls managed to move on  
  
Sooyoung finally had the courage to report her stepfather. The report proceeded without a doubt after they were able to verify a countless amount of evidence against him. Now the guy was in jail awaiting trial and Sooyoung's mother was recovering in the hospital in a satisfactory way  
  
Seulgi and Seungwan managed to graduate and, with the support of Seulgi's parents, they were looking for a place to live together and fulfill that dream they loved so much.  
  
Joohyun also managed to finish college with the big difference that her academic excellence led her to get a job opportunity in another country. The interested company would pay the trip and the stay as long as she chooses to move to that country. Joohyun didn't doubt it for a second  
  
Which leads to the current situation  
  
Seulgi and Seungwan were at the airport with Joohyun. Her flight was a few minutes away  
  
"I'm going to miss you, unnie." Seungwan hugged her older sister with more strength than necessary and her eyes full of tears. "Take care of yourself and call me often, okay?"  
  
"Of course I will" Joohyun patted her sister's back and then ruffled her hair "Take care of yourself and take care of Seulgi, I hope you don't destroy your apartment"  
  
Seulgi laughed and then came over to hug Joohyun. After breaking the hug, she went to Seungwan and circled a hand around her waist  
  
"See you later, Joohyun-unnie, I promise that I'll take care of Wannie as much as possible"  
  
Joohyun nodded with a soft smile and then made a hand gesture to say goodbye. Right now they had just called all the passengers to the security checkpoint. Joohyun knew that she still missed one last person to say goodbye to her but days before they had an argument after Sooyoung refused to receive help from Joohyun (this time in the form of a recommendation for a job) claiming that she had already received a lot from her girlfriend  
  
"Unnie!!"  
  
Joohyun turned around at the powerful scream that she heard and her eyes filled with tears  
  
Sooyoung was running towards her in an uncontrolled way. Soon she cut the distance with a strong hug that Joohyun didn't hesitate to answer... it was perhaps the last time she would see her in years, the last time she would feel the warmth of her body and hear the sound of her voice  
  
"I love you" was the only thing Sooyoung told her and Joohyun almost lost control of her tears  
  
"I love you too. A lot"  
  
"Never forget me"  
  
"Never"  
  
The airport was filled again with the voice of the loudspeakers asking passengers to be ready before the plane left. Sooyoung and Joohyun parted reluctantly and gave each other a last smile before leaving  
  
The promise remained in the air  
  
They all began to build their own future


	8. Nobody But You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy is afraid of not being enough for Seulgi. Seulgi shows her than she is just right

Wendy wasn't really sure about her feelings.  
  
Maybe it was because she was a teenager in her senior year of high school and wasn't exactly part of the popular or ignored part of the students, she rather was in the middle of both groups and she tried to stay away from them as much as possible . She thought that perhaps if she tried to go unnoticed throughout high school then maybe she wouldn't have any problems.  
  
Her plan went down when she called Kang Seulgi's attention.  
  
Seulgi was almost in the same kind as her but she had an aura that attracted people like lamp to a fly: she was kind, tender, innocent and affectionate. She didn't care if you were her friend or not, she would still lend you her hand. In addition to her incredible aura of kindness, Seulgi called people's attention for her ability to dance and steal the spotlight. Many assured that she would end up auditioning for some entertainment company or that someone would scout her one day to offer her an opportunity  
  
Wendy still didn't know how she caught Seulgi's attention so quickly. One day she started to have some classes with her, the next she had to do a team project and the next month she was already asking her to go out on a date. Now they were running for almost a year and a half of relationship and they didn't show any signs of breaking up. And Wendy was really happy with the relationship, she really couldn't ask for anybody other than Seulgi. She loved her, she understood her feelings and she was immensely patient with her. Wendy was always in first place for Seulgi  
  
But there was only a little small something: Wendy was a virgin and Seulgi already had a relationship before. A relationship serious enough to teach her enough experience on how to satisfy her lover. Wendy knew that sex was a topic that was rarely spoken in the relationship, things never escalated to more than a small make out session and Seulgi respected her limits very much. Wendy wasn't going to deny that she felt an unending desire for Seulgi but her insecurity was what made her doubt her own abilities.  
  
What if she wasn't enough for Seulgi?  
  
A loud laugh took her away from her thoughts. Joohyun, the eldest of her group of friends, tried not to die of laughter while pointing at someone. Wendy looked at the victim of her teasing: there was her number one favorite idiot covered from head to toe in the remains of a red slushie doing her best impersonation of Carrie. Sooyoung and Yeri, the little satans, continued the teasing and Wendy couldn't help but laugh along with them. Seulgi just showed a sweet smile instead of being angry  
  
"What the hell happened to you?" Joohyun spoke in the middle of her laughter  
  
"I bought this thing" Seulgi shook the empty container of the slushie in front of her "But just when I turned around I crashed with some guy and ended up like this"  
  
Seulgi flashed again her bright million dollar smile and Wendy couldn't help but run up to her and start cleaning the stains with napkins and random pieces of paper. She almost let out a sigh at the level of naivety that her favorite bear had but that same naivety was what captured Wendy's attention and made her melt into tenderness. Seulgi, seeing that Wendy was trying to help her, took her by the waist and started rubbing her face full of sticky liquid against Wendy who wouldn't stop screaming while the rest of her friends burst into laughter.  
  
"Seulgi!"  
  
"Come on Wendy, I'm just trying to put a little red around here~ a little more over here~" Seulgi rubbed her cheeks constantly against poor Wendy. At that point Seulgi covered her with red slushie all over her cheeks and part of her clothes, the girls in the background were still dying with laughter.  
  
"Look at the mess you made!" Wendy pouted as she tried to break away from Seulgi's embrace  
  
"You look beautiful." Seulgi smiled brightly and looked at her girlfriend through crescent eyes. That smile put Wendy between a rock and a hard place because on one hand she wanted to kill her girlfriend for ruining her outfit of the day and on the other hand she wanted to shower her face with kisses and tell her that the world was too cruel for a person like Seulgi to exist.  
  
Wendy let the blush cover her cheeks and let Seulgi finish painting her with slushie  
  
It was already late when they returned to Wendy's house, holding hands happily as they waved them up and down. Their clothes full of red and sticky remains of sugar. The way back home (either Seulgi's or Wendy's) was always quiet although it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, it was rather a way in which they entrusted everything to each other and realized how valuable it was to have one another . It was moments like this that made Wendy realize that Seulgi wasn't only her girlfriend but her best friend and soulmate.  
  
Finally they reached the steps that decorated the entrance to Wendy's house. Just as Seulgi was about to ring the doorbell, the door of the house opened. There was Wendy's dad. When he saw them he kept quiet for a moment and then bursted into laughter.  
  
"What the hell happened to you two?"  
  
"I'm sorry, sir." Seulgi just smiled shyly as she reached behind her neck to scratch it feeling ashamed "It's my fault"  
  
"Oh, Seulgi" the man shook his head "You apologize as if it was something really serious, go take a bath and then have dinner"  
  
Wendy ended up getting caught in her father's laughter as she entered the house almost pulling Seulgi by the hand. Her mother was sitting in one of the chairs of the dining room while reading a book and when she saw them she could only shake her head several times and point towards the bathroom while the girls laughed as they walked.  
  
A bath, a dinner and a call to Seulgi's parents later, both lovers were laying in Wendy's bed. It was difficult for two fully-developed teenagers to fit in an individual bed but they managed to get comfortable. Seulgi was lying on Wendy's chest while the latter was checking her phone for any unanswered messages from her friends. Seulgi planted a kiss on her cheek and snuggled against her body before letting out a long yawn.  
  
"I'm really sleepy ~" Seulgi complained "If you don't mind, I'll go to sleep"  
  
"Wait" Wendy got rid of her phone at the speed of light and turned to Seulgi "I need my goodnight kiss"  
  
Seulgi laughed lightly to then cup her lover's face and leave a small kiss on her lips. One kiss became two until they were too many and it was Wendy who deepened the kiss as much as she could, her lips fighting Seulgi's and tracing the outline of her mouth with her tongue. One of her legs was entangled with Seulgi's and her hands crossed behind her neck so she could play with the ebony hair  
  
"Wendy..." Seulgi sighed against her lips only to kiss her hard again, with just enough roughness. Her hands roamed Wendy's sides and landed on her hips, venturing toward her bottom. Wendy couldn't hide the desire she felt right now, she just wanted more from Seulgi, a simple kiss wasn't enough: she wanted to continue testing her lips, wanted to admire her body, wanted to draw landscapes and write poems on every corner of her skin  
  
The kiss was broken by the lack of air and both were looking at each other in the middle of the darkness of the room.  
  
Seulgi asked a question that she had never asked before  
  
"Can I make love to you?" Seulgi caressed her cheek with the back of her hand "There's nothing more that I want right now but... I can wait, I don't want to force you to absolutely anything, never. Only if you're ready, I'll continue"  
  
Wendy felt a tide of emotions mingle with the lust that had suddenly arisen within her. Seulgi couldn't stop thinking about her even now and that filled her with more love, more than she could imagine. She knew that Seulgi would respect her choice if she refused and wouldn't blackmail her into getting her own pleasures.  
  
However, Wendy was ready. Finally she felt confident enough to take that important step and leaned a little to return the kiss on the lips of her lover but without the intensity from before.  
  
"It's okay," Wendy whispered against the lips of her girlfriend "I'm ready, Seul"  
  
Seulgi sighed  
  
"I'm going to get as far as you want, if you don't like something, tell me and I'll stop, okay? Don't hide anything from me"  
  
Wendy nodded, unsure if Seulgi had been able to see the gesture in the darkness.  
  
Seulgi returned to the intense kisses from earlier, so rough but so gentle. Her hands slipped under Wendy's shirt slowly and stopped for a few seconds after feeling her girl shuddering under the tips of her fingers. Her lips then drifted down to Wendy's neck to plant a few kisses on the soft, lavender-smelling skin, Wendy moaned slightly and tilted her neck to one side to give her girlfriend more room.  
  
Seulgi brought her hands to the front of Wendy's shirt and undid the first button, stopping her hands and her lips at the same time just to check that everything was going well. Wendy moaned again, shocked by the ghost of sensations running through her body and the excitement waking up little by little. Seulgi continued to undo buttons one by one until she finally opened her shirt completely, sliding her hands across her shoulders to take it off and throw it to the side of the bed. Seulgi ran her hands behind her lover's naked back as her mouth returned to Wendy's lips and her fingers drew a single thing on her back, a simple set of characters that reached Wendy's soul  
  
"I love you"  
  
Wendy remained under Seulgi's body after a quick movement. Seulgi caressed her: her hands came up from her waist and ran it over her sides, stopping over her breasts giving them a slight squeeze that ripped a deep moan from Wendy's throat. Seulgi returned her hands to her girl's waist and wrapped her fingers around the pajama pants.  
  
Wendy stifled a gasp in her throat and Seulgi stopped in her tracks  
  
"Should I stop?"  
  
"Take this off" Wendy stretched one of her hands to pull at Seulgi's shirt "I want to feel you"  
  
Seulgi immediately did as she was asked, crossing her arms around her body to get rid of her shirt and throw it to one side. Wendy immediately slightly sat down on the bed while Seulgi straddled her. Wendy began to caress her body without rest, emphasizing in her girlfriend's abs product of the constant routines of dance and exercise. She was so hypnotized by them that Seulgi couldn't help but let out a slight laugh.  
  
"You like them?"  
  
Wendy immediately stopped and Seulgi thought that it was the cutest thing in the world, if it wasn't for the darkness she could surely see that Wendy had a blush on her cheeks. Seulgi leaned forward to place a light kiss on her forehead, then her cheek and finally her lips  
  
"There'll be time for me, tonight it's only about you"  
  
Wendy nodded slightly with the butterflies inside her stomach going crazy and pulled Seulgi into another desperate kiss. Seulgi pushed her back to the bed and her hands rested on the waistband of her pants to slide them down slowly along her underwear until Wendy was completely naked. A work of art for Seulgi to admire and care for like a treasure she never had before  
  
With Seulgi's heavy gaze, even in the darkness, Wendy shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Seulgi sighed  
  
"You're beautiful... you really are"  
  
Wendy almost wanted to cry, not out of shame or the feeling of being exposed, but because she was finally sure of what she felt and that anxiousness that previously paralyzed her now drifted away with each caress of Seulgi.  
  
And speaking of Seulgi, she had begun to leave a trail of kisses from her neck to her chest, slowly down her abdomen and stopping just above her belly. Wendy arched again on the bed because everything was already too much, with just a few minutes of kissing and caressing she was turning into a complete and wet disaster. Seulgi placed a hand on her abdomen and the other went close to her center, her fingers tracing Wendy's entrance and playing with the small bundle of nerves  
  
Wendy let out a loud moan, almost turning into a scream. She quickly felt all the colors rise to her face as her hands covered her mouth. Seulgi let out a slight giggle and left a kiss on the inside of Wendy's thigh to repeat the same action as before with her hand. Rubbing that sensitive spot in circles over and over again until Wendy's hands could no longer contain her moans. The girl surrendered and clinged to the sheets on the bed while her back created a perfect arch once more.  
  
"Seulgi... Seulgi..."  
  
"What's wrong?" Seulgi immediately searched for her girlfriend's face "Should I stop?"  
  
"No, no ..." Wendy breathed heavily, alternating between her mouth and her nose "It's just... it's a bit overwhelming"  
  
Seulgi smiled slightly and then stopped for a moment simply by letting Wendy accept the sensations she was feeling so suddenly. Her hand went back to Wendy's center and she caressed it slowly, covering her fingers with that natural lubricant before inserting her middle finger carefully keeping an eye on any expression that told her she was doing the wrong thing.  
  
She moved her finger slowly while her thumb took care of the bundle of nerves that drove Wendy crazy. It was working because soon Wendy returned to moan in the same way as before: loud, almost screaming, contained only by her hands. Seulgi took advantage of the distraction to try and insert a second finger but it was there when Wendy's moans became painful groans and she tried to close her legs.  
  
"Did that hurt?" Seulgi kept her hand steady, doing no movement  
  
"Y-yes" Wendy said in a broken voice "S-sorry..."  
  
"No, no, remember what I told you, this is only about you, ok?"  
  
Seulgi withdrew her hand and wiped it on the sheets before caressing Wendy's cheek and kissing her lips softly.  
  
"We can try something else if you want"  
  
"Yes... the first ... the first thing felt very good"  
  
Seulgi kissed her again and this time Wendy could distinguish the smile that played on her lips playfully. Her girlfriend didn't say anything else and instead went back to leaving a trail of kisses until she reached her core. Wendy felt a new wave of anxiety and excitement travel her body  
  
Wendy finally collapsed in a new moan when Seulgi licked her entrance again and again, giving a couple of test licks before starting with the full show. Wendy had already forgotten that they were supposed to sleep and they shouldn't make too much noise because their parents were only a few doors away and they could get into serious trouble in the morning. Seulgi was doing things so well, so calmly. The sounds that went along her romantic gesture were beyond magic: they were dirty and grotesque but for some strange (and perhaps, erotic) reason, Wendy loved the way they sounded. She felt beyond her limits  
  
Wendy felt like a goddess and was being worshipped by Seulgi from head to toe.  
  
"S-Seul" Wendy complained "S-Seul... so-something is coming"  
  
Seulgi didn't take the warning and instead deepen her licking, reveling in Wendy's strong taste and allowing herself to be carried away by the moans and sighs full of pleasure that told her she was near. Seulgi better than anyone else knew how to make her reach that high  
  
"Ahh!"  
  
Wendy pulled at the sheets violently, a small tearing sound ripping them apart and continued to recite Seulgi's name as if her life depended on that prayer. Seulgi received all Wendy's pleasure without complaint, only closing her eyes. Even when Wendy had already come down from her orgasm, Seulgi continued with the caresses until it seemed to be too much. Wendy shuddered at being stimulated beyond her limit and eventually everything stopped and all that remained was her agitated breathing flooding the room  
  
A couple of minutes went by before Seulgi approached her and kissed her with such warmth that it was almost strange. There was still desire in that kiss but it was nothing like what they just shared. Wendy felt beyond a simple sexual experience... this was almost religious for her.  
  
She wanted to tell everything to Seulgi but tiredness overcame her. Her eyes closed and she surrendered to sleep  
  
***  
  
In the distance, the sound of the morning woke up Wendy  
  
Surprisingly, she was completely dressed in the pajamas that she'd undone the night before and covered by one of the sheets that wasn't teared... she suddenly felt a little afraid. Had she dreamed everything that happened the night before? It couldn't be... it had been wonderful, Seulgi was amazing...  
  
Her thoughts were broken after she felt a pair of arms around her waist and a breath close to her neck  
  
"Are you awake, Wen?" Seulgi whispered "We have to go to school, beautiful. Good morning"  
  
Seulgi was there. Wendy immediately sat on the bed and looked at Seulgi with surprised eyes. She was about to ask what the hell happened last night in her mind until she realized that Seulgi didn't have her own pajamas and only covered herself in the blanket. Wendy immediately approached Seulgi and wrapped her arms around her neck while Seulgi circled them around her waist.  
  
"I wasn't dreaming" was the first thing that Wendy murmured against the lips of her lover "You really were my first time"  
  
Seulgi left a brief kiss on her lips  
  
"I took the trouble to put on your pajamas, you were shaking at midnight and the sheets didn't do much. I didn't want to wake you"  
  
Wendy smiled  
  
"So, last night..." Seulgi was lost and Wendy nodded a couple of times  
  
"You were wonderful last night, Seul... I felt so loved, so respected that I really can't express it" Wendy left a brief kiss on her lips "I love you"  
  
Seulgi smiled. Another of her million dollar smiles  
  
"I love you too, thank you for trusting me so much"  
  
A slight knock at the door caught their attention  
  
"Girls, I know it was crazy last night and everything but ... I think it's getting late"  
  
Both lovers looked into each other's eyes before blushing and laughing nervously.  
  
What a day...


	9. Time To Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An actress and a singer fall in love under fictional characters

Kang Seulgi was one of the most acclaimed actresses of recent years. Her brilliant personality, talent for acting and control of the camera had earned her a position at the top of business and even with all her success it was obvious that Seulgi was very gentle and careful with all the people around her. She was admired by younger performers and supported by those with experience in the market just for her humble and careful attitude  
  
Son Wendy was the most important female artist in the country. She had so many awards and trophies that she could possibly open her own museum inside her house. Her melodious voice and great ability for composing and producing music led her to be the envy of the musical world. Working with Wendy was the closest thing to working with God because the girl had a kindness beyond levels. She shone like a sun and all the people around her danced to her rhythm, ready to follow her light. But even with all of that she didn't have the slightest experience in acting…  
  
So when a famous film director decided to reunite them for his next film, people started to question what the hell was all about. Seulgi collaborating with a music star? Wendy acting? Nothing made much sense. That at least until the director revealed the synopsis of the plot: Two lovers under a forbidden love unable to show their feelings because of the rivalry between their families, despite all adversities they managed to stay together at the end. It was romantic and cliché but people would always buy those kind of stories and more when the actors involved were two very well-known stars ...  
  
The important thing here is that the director wanted Wendy and Seulgi to be that pair of lovers  
  
Both fandoms went crazy in social media when they found out about the plot. Both Seulgi and Wendy had no dating rumors and people didn't dare to enter their private lives simply because they were two respected stars. So when the news said those two would be a couple (even if it was only in fiction) everyone lost their minds and almost begged on their knees for behind the scenes footage so they could enjoy their backstage interactions  
  
Wendy was sitting in front of the mirror in her dressing room. The make-up staff were giving their final touches before starting to record the first scene, the one in which Wendy's character met Seulgi's for the first time. Wendy represented a business woman, owner of a powerful company, so her outfit consisted of a dark blue jacket, a white button up shirt under it, knee-length skirt the same color as her jacket and dark heels. A discreet makeup and a strong red lipstick added points to her appearance. She looked at herself in the mirror one last time and was satisfied with the way she seemed to scream respect, just like when she promised to give her best and prove not only to the director but to the world that she was more than just a voice and a beautiful face  
  
When she was about to leave, she heard a knock on the door. After answering, the person on the other side opened the door slowly  
  
There was Kang Seulgi with a small bouquet of red roses, dressed in what was supposed to be her own attire for the scene (a expensive knee-length black dress with dark heels, gray stockings and heavy makeup). Seulgi represented the number one heiress of Wendy's rival company and both were supposed to look intimidating. Wendy wasn't going to deny that Seulgi looked like a total goddess with all the things she was wearing.   
  
The woman in the dress bowed deeply and then smiled at Wendy, handing her the bouquet of roses  
  
"These are for you, Miss Son."  
  
Wendy took the bouquet with shaking hands. It had a sublime and spellbinding smell  
  
Almost like the person in front of her  
  
"A pleasure to work with you, Miss Son, I promise to take care of you during the recordings"  
  
Wendy felt a blush on her cheeks and thanked the makeup artist for hiding it under that expensive blush  
  
"Thank you very much, Miss Kang, it's also a pleasure to work with you, I promise not to give you many problems"  
  
Seulgi smiled gently. A characteristic eye-smile that left Wendy with her mouth open and her heart beating wildly inside her chest. She had to resist the urge to go and hug Seulgi because she simply looked perfect from head to toe  
  
"See you on set then, Miss Son."  
  
"Please, call me Wendy"  
  
"Very good, Wendy it is"  
  
Seulgi left her dressing room and the sound of her heels echoed in the corridors of the studio. Wendy brought the bouquet of roses up to her nose and smelled it again as her makeup artist began to fuss over the attentive detail Seulgi just made. It was a dream come true for anyone who wanted to meet Seulgi at least once in their lifetime. A dream that Wendy was living on her own skin  
  
***  
  
The scene where they met for the first time was recorded without any difficulty. Both the staff and the leading actresses managed to get everything done perfectly in just a few shots. Since Wendy's schedules were a little tighter than those of Seulgi, the director decided to record the scenes between the two actresses spontaneously and without chronological order to take advantage of Wendy's time as much as possible.  
  
They were about to record the scene in which both confessed their feelings for each other. Everything would start with a scene of jealousy by Seulgi, it would escalate to a heated discussion and culminate with a confession and the first kiss of the couple. Wendy already felt the butterflies fluttering inside her stomach... a kiss with Kang Seulgi, with one of the most respected actress... she couldn't even imagine how her lips would feel.  
  
The makeup artist did her work one more time. Seulgi had changed into more casual clothes for the scene while Wendy kept her business suit.  
  
"Let's do this in a few shots, ok?" Seulgi raised her fist in the air in an excited way and Wendy looked at her with a gentle smile  
  
"Of course, Seulgi" Wendy replied happily "We have to do our best"  
  
The director put everyone on set and finally shouted action  
  
Wendy entered the false room of an apartment walking fast on her heels, Seulgi followed her closely screaming her name without any result until she finally managed to take a firm grip on her wrist  
  
"What do you want?!" Wendy shouted "You already made a scene back there, isn't it enough?"  
  
"Why were you holding hands with Sooyoung, tell me, is it a business matter?"  
  
"I don't belong to you," Wendy hissed as she tried again to get away from Seulgi's grip "Let me go, you're hurting me"  
  
Seulgi softened her hold but continued not letting go of Wendy for a moment. She was breathing rapidly and her eyes reflected anguish and pain of not being able to get what she wanted  
  
"Just tell me what you did with Sooyoung!"  
  
"Why you care so much about my life, huh?! Aren't we supposed to be rivals?!"  
  
"I fell in love with you!" Seulgi screamed, her eyes full of tears without letting them spill down her cheeks. Wendy opened her eyes in surprise and remained static while doing her best not to blush at the words she just heard. Seulgi had experience dealing with those things but she was completely new in keeping this feelings under control. In the end, she couldn't control her blush but at least her voice still sounded confident  
  
"What did you say?" muttered Wendy "Say it again"  
  
"I'm in love with you..." Seulgi spoke with a soft voice. She released Wendy's wrist just to grab her by the waist and get closer to her body, they were only inches away and this time Wendy was about to scream. Seulgi's perfume was strong with a fruity smell that enchanted her in many ways, her eyes were dark brown although they looked black in the middle of the set, her lips looked appetizing even hypnotizing. Wendy couldn't stop looking at them even when the script said that they should look each other in the eye  
  
It had to happen and that was how it happened  
  
Seulgi gently took her chin and pulled her face a few inches closer to brush their lips. Wendy closed her eyes instinctively and soon felt how Seulgi's lips made contact with hers. It wasn't supposed to be too passionate, but rather a shy way of expressing feelings. The kiss was brief and it was enough for Wendy to be completely at Seulgi's mercy  
  
"Cut!" the director shouted from his chair and then clapped a couple of times "Alright girls, let's take a second shot to discard any details. Make-up, please don't put too much blush on Wendy"  
  
Oh god... if the director knew  
  
The day finally ended. Wendy wouldn't have much to do after this and she was really grateful to have a couple of free hours to rest. She was supposed to meet her manager at the front door of the studio to take her home and be able to rest for the long day that awaited them the next morning. However, just as she was about to reach her manager, Seulgi almost blocked her way with one of those wonderful smiles plastered on her face  
  
"Hey" she raised her hand to say hello "Are you really busy?"  
  
Wendy answered the greeting and then let out a slight laugh  
  
"Well... right now I was going to sleep at home" The happy face of Seulgi suddenly fell into a thousand pieces and it was impossible for Wendy not to notice that gesture "What's up, Seulgi? Did you need something?"  
  
"No, no... I just wanted to invite you to dinner" Seulgi took one of her hands to the back of her neck and scratched it several times in the middle of her newly discovered shame "But don't worry! It could be another day"  
  
Wendy couldn't refuse this offer for a couple of reasons: The first was that she is talking about Kang Seulgi the most renowned actress of recent times and perhaps the most important of her generation. The second is that Seulgi looked too adorable when she made those beautiful smiles and looked so embarrassed to talk to her and the third (but not least) was that she was really hungry and there wasn't much to eat at home  
  
"No, Seulgi," Wendy smiled as she tucked the strands of her hair behind her ear "Is okay, can you wait a little bit? I'll see you in the parking lot"  
  
Seulgi jumped in the spot and Wendy almost laughed at the drastic change. It was a 360 degree turn. Seulgi nodded excitedly as she pulled the keys of her car out of her pockets however, thanks to how excited she was, she let them fall to the ground. Wendy held back her laughter by hiding it behind her hand. Seulgi burst out laughing as she reached down to pick up her keys.  
  
"It's fine then, I see you in the parking lot"  
  
She said goodbye with the same gesture of her hand that she did before and almost trotted to the parking lot while Wendy finally laughed. Kang Seulgi was the most adorable idiot Wendy had known in years and if it wasn't for her sweetness Wendy would've already said a firm 'no' for a long time ago. Wendy finally talked to her manager and promised that she would report as fast as she could, the man reluctantly agreed but eventually ended up agreeing to let Wendy go out to dinner with this 'super goddess of acting'  
  
Seulgi was already waiting for her in the parking lot (which wasn't a surprise for Wendy, she had practically thrown her keys in front of her for god sake... it was obvious that she was desperately interested in dinner) and Wendy had to accept that Seulgi had a beautiful car: a dark blue Lamborghini Murciélago. Wendy wasn't a true car expert but she knew that this brand was expensive and dedicated to producing exotic cars.  
  
"Hello" now it was Wendy who greeted first "Sorry if I took a long time... my manager is too overprotective"  
  
"It's okay." Seulgi spoke in a rather sweet voice "Now that you're here it doesn't matter. Let's go to dinner, I know a perfect place for that"  
  
Wendy felt something new awaken inside her. Something that inspired her to create songs and sing with the loudest voice she could imagine. Sing to a new muse who could never know where the inspiration comes from  
  
Little by little her voice belonged to Kang Seulgi  
  
***  
  
The recording stopped for a couple of months because Wendy's schedule was not very friendly and in the middle of it all she had crossed with the preparations for her comeback. Seulgi waited patiently recording other scenes with the rest of the cast and dealing with the many other job offers she had available  
  
Wendy returned just after the promotions for her new album ended and Seulgi looked quite euphoric for having her back although she was constantly trying to keep away from her. Wendy believed that it was all because she tried to maintain that "bad girl" facade that had been formed over the years  
  
However, Wendy didn't expect the kind of scene she would record as soon as she was back to the set  
  
A love scene  
  
Hearing those words from the director was the equivalent of feeling a bucket of cold water. Wendy wasn't ready for that kind of acting  
  
Especially when her heart was so messed up. She had grown tired of explaining in interviews and the media that her last song, Time to Love, wasn't meant for anyone and was just another hymn to love. Obviously, what the media didn't know was that it had been a silent request for Seulgi, hoping that maybe she would listen to it with the same meaning that Wendy had in mind when she wrote it  
  
"Okay! Check that everything is okay! "The director shouted from his chair while the staff was in charge of reviewing the improvised stage they had just built: a room in a luxurious hotel overlooking the city of Seoul from a point where nothing was left to the imagination. It was assumed that this would be the place where Wendy's character would surrender her body and soul to Seulgi's character for the first time; innocent but unable to contain the lust and desire to be lovers.  
  
Wendy was very anxious  
  
The staff told her she should trust Seulgi, the woman was a professional after all but that didn't reduce Wendy's fear. What if Seulgi was fed up with her naivety? What if she wasn't enough for this scene? It was such an intimate moment between both characters that showed their mutual level of trust and the great development they had as people. Wendy would feel very disappointed if the scene ended up out in the final cut just because she didn't know how to be professional.  
  
Her anxiousness only increased when she entered the false room and found Seulgi sitting on the bed. She was wearing a short that reached her thighs and a sports bra, the director had told Wendy that that would be Seulgi's outfit during the entire scene. Wendy, however, had to be naked.  
  
She walked cautiously to the bed, Seulgi looked at her phone carefully and smiled at something that appeared on the screen. Wendy was covered with a long white robe tied around her waist and as soon as Seulgi saw her enter the scene she immediately got up from the bed and bowed deeply  
  
"Well... this had to happen" Wendy said and then let out a laugh  
  
"I'm going to take care of you, Wendy" Seulgi smiled gently "I promise not to make you feel insecure in all this, if you feel uncomfortable with something don't hesitate to say it"  
  
Damn Kang Seulgi, you're girlfriend material in all its glory  
  
Wendy smiled back and felt a little more confident of her actions. The director asked everyone to come to the scene and Wendy got on her knees on the bed to later undo the knot that kept her robe closed over her body and slid it slowly down her shoulders until she could throw it to a spot on the floor that the camera didn't show. Seulgi, almost instantly, placed one of her hands on the singer's waist and turned her body slightly so that she was straddling Seulgi and the only thing exposed to the camera was Wendy's naked back and nothing else. The scene was supposed to be erotic but it didn't have to turn pornographic, much less put Wendy in an uncomfortable situation, so Seulgi did her best to avoid revealing Wendy's most intimate side.  
  
"Okay everyone! Rolling in 3...2...1 Action!"  
  
Action in fact  
  
Seulgi began to draw imaginary kisses on Wendy from her chest to her neck. The camera angle gave the exact belief that Seulgi's lips were touching the skin even when Wendy only felt her breath barely touching her skin. Oh god... that was more than enough for something in her to start getting quite 'wet' and uncomfortable. What was professional about getting horny with imaginary kisses?  
  
Shortly after, it was the actress' fingers that traced her back drawing meaningless patterns while one of her hands gripped Wendy's thigh, the cameraman seemed to like the gesture because he made a special focus on that moment... the poor man was as flushed as Wendy, listening to the fake grunts and moans of both women. Wendy would later understand that the movement had been intended to distract the camera and not make it focus on Wendy body  
  
Seulgi placed the singer under her body lying on the sheets and pillows of the fake bed. Her lips moved closer to her neck and Wendy turned her head to the side to give her more space as she closed her eyes and pretended a new moan. One of Seulgi's hands, in the most discreet way she could, took the messy sheets and placed them on Wendy's body to cover most of her nakedness and leave the rest out of the camera angle. Wendy was overwhelmed... Seulgi was being professional and a kind person at the same time. Now she had no doubt about why everyone said they loved working with her  
  
She also had no doubt about what she felt in her heart  
  
"Cut! Cut! Excellent, women. I think this scene will be perfect, let's take one more shot"  
  
Seulgi broke away from Wendy as quickly as they shouted cut and helped her cover herself with the robe as the make-up staff worked on the small details.  
  
After they were finished recording, Wendy had only one thing on her mind  
  
How would it feel to make love with Seulgi? In a place almost identical to this, with the same conditions and perhaps even the same details... Could it be just as sweet and gentle? Would Seulgi take care of her in the same way? Would she touch her in those same places? Maybe she would kiss her forehead instead of her lips, maybe she would leave violent teeth marks on her neck Wendy didn't know  
  
Once again, the only thing she knew for sure was what she felt  
  
They finished recording late at night, maybe until two o'clock in the morning when everything was over and every member of the staff along the cast was returning home.  
  
Wendy was waiting for a taxi outside the recording studios. Her manager had a last-minute emergency and couldn't get through to take her home so she had no choice but to wait. Her mind was a chaos... how could she talk to Seulgi after what they'd just recorded? It had only been a few hours since that and she was no longer able to erase those feelings from her heart  
  
"Wendy!"  
  
The singer turned her head. Seulgi ran to her and when she was finally close she smiled with that smile that made everything shine around her  
  
"Hello, Seulgi. What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was reviewing the scenes with the director, nothing serious. Are you going home?"  
  
"Uhm yes... yes. But I've already called a taxi, Seulgi. I'm fine thanks "  
  
Seulgi waved her hand and then laughed.  
  
"Oh, come on. I give you a ride home, okay? I mean, we already had sex and everything "  
  
Oh God  
  
At that moment Wendy invented a color brighter than red. She couldn't find the words for what Seulgi had just said, it was definitely a joke but that didn't mean she still felt embarrassed after the hours she spent naked with such a gorgeous goddess and pretend that her body didn't had any kind of 'reactions'  
  
Seulgi giggled, trying to hide her own blush  
  
"Sorry, Wendy. That was stupid, sorry"  
  
Wendy immediately raised her hands in the air  
  
"No no! It's okay! I understood the joke! Don't feel bad Seulgi"  
  
Seulgi pouted but still nodded as she pulled out her car keys and played with them  
  
"You won't leave with me after that stupid comment"  
  
Wendy just wanted to hug that woman. Really  
  
"It's okay, Seulgi. Take me home"  
  
Seulgi looked like a puppy who just heard they would take a walk after a long day of confinement. The road home was complete silence with the exception of the radio playing some pop song  
  
Now they were outside Wendy's house  
  
"Thank you for the ride home, Seulgi and also thank you for taking care of me on the recording set. I really appreciate that"  
  
The actress giggled  
  
"It's nothing, Wendy" Seulgi smiled as if she just made the biggest premise of her life and Wendy was about to reward her "You know I would do anything for you"  
  
Wendy stared at her, her eyes clashing with Seulgi's  
  
"Anything?"  
  
Seulgi softened her gaze and then tucked one of Wendy's strands of hair behind her ear  
  
"Anything…"  
  
Wendy took a few steps forward, reducing the distance as much as possible until her lips were just inches away.  
  
"Then kiss me"  
  
Seulgi didn't need another order. Her lips joined with those of the singer in a slow kiss, passionate and without any acting that could stop them. Wendy moved her lips gently over Seulgi's in the middle of a shy kiss, just following her rhythm and trying not to turn the tender moment into something lustful. The actress placed her hands on Wendy's waist as support and Wendy brought her own hands behind Seulgi's neck  
  
They broke away from the kiss after the lack of air and remained staring at each other eyes maybe trying to say the thousand and one words that they couldn't before.  
  
Wendy broke the silence  
  
"Do you want to come in?"  
  
Seulgi smiled  
  
"Of course"  
  
***  
  
The premiere of the movie was close. Seulgi and Wendy had finished recordings and now they were just waiting for the right day to see their full work in theaters  
  
Wendy was preparing for a presentation in her dressing room when one of the make-up girls came in almost running  
  
"Wendy, you need to check the TV"  
  
The dressing room TV turned on, the make-up girl scrolled through the channel until she stopped at a night show. The guest was nobody but Kang Seulgi and she was talking about her most recent movie recorded with Son Wendy  
  
"Was it difficult to make the most intimate scenes?" The announcer asked Seulgi "It must be uncomfortable at least"  
  
"No, no" Seulgi laughed and Wendy almost wanted to kiss the screen at the beautiful sight of her now girlfriend. "You can't be uncomfortable with the one you love, don't you think? When you love that person, each scene comes out naturally"  
  
Wendy opened her eyes surprised. There goes the secret they took care of for several months  
  
The announcer smiled widely after the crowd let out a collective gasp  
  
"Wow! So Wendy is your girlfriend?!"  
  
"Yeah" Seulgi confessed with a new smile "Yeah, she is"  
  
"And how did it happen?" The announcer asked  
  
"I just realized and I know we fell in love" Seulgi looked at the camera when she said those words, Wendy felt a smile appear involuntarily on her face and the girls around her began to shout with happiness "Shall we start then? We have waited so long for this time to love"  
  
Wendy immediately recognized the lines of her song and giggled  
  
"I love you, baby." Seulgi smiled at the camera.   
  
Everything seemed blurry for Wendy. There was only Seulgi in her eyes  
  
"I love you too, idiot"


	10. Runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmates AU. Seulgi ends up breaking up with Wendy after cheating on her but is that the truth?

Soul mates AU where they share memories with a touch every time they want to  
  
"Ahhh…S-Seulgi"  
  
Wendy moaned as her girlfriend plunged her fingers deeply, touching all of her spots, reaching heaven with the tips of her fingers. She grasped the sheets with strength and a loud ripping sound was heard around the room, a gasp left her mouth and she felt the oh so wonderful pressure of her orgasm making her body shake. Wendy brought a hand to her mouth, biting her fingers in order to keep her moaning down  
  
"Just let it out, baby" Seulgi whispered in her ear as she left a trail of kisses around her neck "Don't hold back"  
  
Wendy blushed madly, her cheeks getting tinted in a bright shade of pink. She kept biting at her hand, a thin trail of blood poured from her bruised skin and then she arched on the bed, clenching around the fingers inside her. Her brain blacked out for a minute while her heart thumped loudly inside her chest. Seulgi's hands caressed her sides as she left a kiss on her cheek  
  
"…still with me, babe?" her voice sounded a million miles away and Wendy forced her body to work one more time. She opened her eyes and saw Seulgi smiling smugly at her, her eyes full of love after they sparkled with lust since a few hours ago.  
  
Wendy reached her hands forward, cupping her girlfriends face between her palms. She was sure she looked completely high on the aftermaths of her orgasm but she couldn't care…not when it felt so wonderful. Seulgi leaned on her body, careful of not dropping all of her weight on her as they kissed softly.  
  
They remained in silence, trying to catch their breath. Seulgi spooned her girlfriend from behind, wrapping her arms around her naked waist and leaving soft kisses on the back of her neck and shoulders. Wendy grabbed Seulgi's hands and caressed them softly  
  
"Let's run away" Seulgi whispered all of a sudden "Just you and me"  
  
"You mean like on a trip or something?" Wendy was struggling to keep awake after all of her energies were drained by that wonderful orgasm from some minutes ago  
  
"No, you dummy" Seulgi chuckled "Away from all of this…maybe we could start a life together in another place. Buy our own house, start a family, have a little kid or two since you love those fluffy stuffs so much"  
  
Wendy laughed softly as she closed her eyes and basked into Seulgi's warm embrace. She loved when her girlfriend talked about a future together, a future when they were happy as soul mates and no matter what happened they had each other and everything would work out  
  
"Sounds great Seul…"  
  
"You sound so far gone" Seulgi chuckled again after placing another kiss on her shoulders  
  
"You tired me out"  
  
"Heh…I guess"  
  
Wendy felt one of Seulgi's hands entwining her fingers with her own. She felt a soft spark between them and then, memories of their first kiss started flooding her mind one after the other. It was a memory they both love and cherished as a treasure, they would never get tired of it and, even if Wendy loved it so much, she found it weird. Seulgi usually never was this ‘needy’ after sex  
  
"I love you Wendy" Seulgi whispered after the memory ended and hugged her tightly "Never forget that"  
  
"I love you too Seulgi…I love you so much"  
  
And those words were left floating in the room  
  
A week after that night, Seulgi started ignoring Wendy  
  
She never answered her calls, she didn’t reply a single message, she stopped taking her out for dates. Wendy thought it might be due to work: Seulgi was a famous photographer and she usually worked for big names in the industry, going from movie directors to beautiful actors and actresses all around the globe. She was respected for the quality of her work and sometimes, she was so busy that she completely forgot about her girlfriend  
  
Wendy was also busy with her own duties. She would soon inherit her mother's fashion company and, being the only child, she had no choice but to dedicate herself to it. It wasn’t something that bothered her after all, her mother was a great woman and she deserved that all her work fell into good hands... if she thought that her daughter was that option then she couldn’t protest  
  
Her relationship with Seulgi was some sort of a secret. They’d never revealed it publicly; they never said a single word about their relationship to anyone but their close circle of friends. They made that decision so as not to affect each other: the media could be very manipulative and begin to create rumors about how Seulgi gained all that popularity thanks to her dating the heiress of the Son Corporation. Wendy would hate this to happen, Seulgi worked hard to get to where she was only with her work and to prove people that she was capable of doing everything they asked and even more.  
  
After almost three years of relationship, both were thinking about making their secret public and reveal it to the media  
  
However, Wendy never expected it to be a certain way  
  
One day in the morning, she had to go to a press conference where she would explain why her mother was leaving the company and the changes that she would bring to it once she was the owner. It was assumed that all the press there was serious and none were interested in some juicy rumor about her relationship with Seulgi... fate aligned things to make everything uncomfortable for the Son girl  
  
Wendy saw the flashes of the cameras pointing towards her as she took the bottle of water on the table prepared previously and took a long drink out of it. The hand of a reporter rose in the middle of the room and Wendy pointed at him  
  
"Wendy-ssi, what do you think about the rumors of Seulgi-ssi dating you?"  
  
Oh no Wendy thought Here we go again with all that  
  
"I don’t know what you’re talking about" she immediately used the simplest strategy to avoid problems "Kang Seulgi and I are not related"  
  
Another reporter raised his hand in the front side of the room. Wendy pointed again  
  
"You both were seen together about a week ago in a restaurant; both were holding hands and looked really affectionate with each other”  
  
Wendy remembered that day vividly: Seulgi invited her to eat at that Japanese restaurant, then they went to the mall to make a few nonsense purchases, they came home and binge-watched their favorite series before the making out session that lead to the usual amazing sex. That was the last day she saw Seulgi but now Wendy could understand that the reporters were surely following them for days (or months) before  
  
The heiress sighed. Should she open her mouth and say everything? Should she confess her love for Kang Seulgi, the so-called 'nation’s photographer'? Should she keep quiet and ignore everything?  
  
She closed her eyes and remembered that moment when Seulgi shared her memory of their first kiss.  
  
"Very well," Wendy spoke loudly. "This press conference was not meant to reveal facts about my personal privacy but because you are all so obsessed with all this. I will tell you what is really going on"  
  
The cameras flashed again, all the reporters leaned forward to record the moment better  
  
"Kang Seulgi and I have been dating for three years. We love each other and we are happy. We wanted to keep this secret to protect our careers from a possible scandal: she has been successful for her work and I had nothing to do with it. Now that you know it, I only ask you for one thing, please respect our privacy”  
  
The silence made Wendy feel satisfied with her response, she knew that was enough to calm the horde of hungry reporters  
  
That was her thought until another hand rose in the room. Wendy, with the manners that characterized her, pointed at the owner of the hand. A woman way younger than the rest of the reporters  
  
"And what do you have to say about Seulgi-ssi dating one of her most recent models?”  
  
A metaphorical bucket of cold water fell on Son Wendy and woke her up abruptly  
  
"What are you saying?" Wendy almost whispers against the mic she was holding  
  
"A few days ago Kang Seulgi was interviewed and she said she was single but just yesterday she was seen kissing one of her models outside of the company where she works. What do you have to say about it?"  
  
The pain in her soul was great, maybe as big as when her father died or when her best friend left the country to study college... in fact, now that she thought about it, that pain wasn’t even close to what she was feeling. Seulgi was her soul mate... they were supposed to be loyal to each other and they should love each other above all things. At least that was the thought that Wendy had in her mind since she was a child. What the hell was happening now?  
Had it been a lie?  
  
"Wendy-nim?" The reporter insisted but Wendy no longer had the heart to continue with this.  
  
"Sorry, the conference is over" Wendy got up from the table and sped off the stage without caring about the shouts of the reporters and the questions that continued stalking her  
  
She had to bite her lips hard to try and calm down, think everything rationally as she always did: maybe it were all just rumors, maybe everything was just some way for the media to create news... she wanted to imagine that because the thought of Seulgi cheating on her just…destroyed her  
  
Exactly one hour after the conference, she was on her way home inside her car when she received a message from Joy, Seulgi's best friend and manager of one of the models who worked in the same company as her girlfriend. A photo was attached to the message  
  
In that photo, Seulgi was kissing the model  
  
'What the hell is happening here Wendy-unnie?' Said Joy's message  
  
Wendy couldn’t take it anymore and turned her car abruptly in the direction of the company where Seulgi worked. She needed an explanation and little by little she started losing her tranquility, she was still clinging to the idea that everything was just a stupid rumor.  
  
Finally, she arrived at the company and went in without asking, the receptionist seemed not to pay attention after seeing who she was. Wendy walked through the corridors, dodging people and ignoring greetings as she stared at the doors trying to find her girlfriend's office. Once she was in front of that place, she took the knob with a trembling hand and opened the door  
  
Seulgi was deeply focused on her computer, probably editing some photograph and didn’t even notice when Wendy entered  
  
"Seulgi ..." her voice came out broken and Seulgi immediately turned her head. Their eyes met and for the first time in a long time, Wendy realized that Seulgi wasn’t looking at her with love or lust... it was just an empty gaze  
  
"Wendy, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I have to... I have to ask you something"  
  
Seulgi switched her gaze between the computer and her girlfriend until she finally had the courage to speak again  
  
"I'm busy... can’t it be another day? I’ll call you"  
  
"Who is the woman in the photo?"  
  
Silence. Complete silence that caused the temperature of the office to fall by several degrees and left them both shocked. Seulgi sighed and got up from her seat, walking towards Wendy with a serious expression. She didn’t even have to explain what picture she was talking about, the last days had been hell for her with all the questions she had to answer and that Wendy probably didn’t see until this day  
  
"She's Irene... she's my girlfriend Wendy. I've been dating her for a week now”  
  
One week... the last time I saw you was a week ago...  
  
Wendy felt the tears piling up in her eyes  
  
"What are you talking about Seulgi? I'm your girlfriend…"  
  
Seulgi shook her head several times and then, on her face, appeared the most mischievous smile that Wendy had ever seen in her face in all these three years. She was so full of herself that she even looked like a completely different person  
  
"That's what I made you believe all this time. Wendy, listen to me... I don’t love you, okay? I know it was a long time but it was really just to gain your trust... I just wanted to fuck you"  
  
Unable to contain herself anymore, Wendy began to cry and her sobs shook her body like a violent hurricane. Seulgi lost her mischievous smile for a moment and then looked at her again with those empty eyes, forgetting any warm feeling that could be found in them.  
  
"Was it just for...sex ...?"  
  
"Of course" Seulgi answered with a mocking voice and laughed "Why the hell would I go out with you if it wasn’t for your body? You didn’t even have money at the time I met you! You have a hot body, I was horny and we fucked, that’s it"  
  
Wendy covered her mouth to try and silence her sobs, looking for any kind of strength to continue standing, to keep looking at Seulgi and understand if what she was saying was true  
  
"Always... I always thought it was more than just sex... we are soul mates Seulgi and I love you so much... Why are you doing this?"  
  
"Stop making a drama, Son Wendy. Ugh ... that's why I stopped talking to you, I knew that I’d have to deal with these dramas and that sucks"  
  
"You're breaking my heart!" The girl shouted as she pressed her hand against her heart as if it really burned inside. "What about the memories we have together?! I really love you, Kang Seulgi! Don’t hurt me like that!"  
  
Seulgi went completely silent. She reached her hand to Wendy and touched her forearm. Wendy felt the spark and then she could see the memories of the many nights she slept in her girlfriend's arms, all the moans and all the times she shouted her name, each kiss and each caress from their first time until last’s week night.  
  
"You saw that, right?" Seulgi broke the silence "Those are the only memories that matter to me now... it’ll be great for when I’m missing your whore moans, Wendy"  
  
Wendy was about to raise her hand to slap her when suddenly the door of Seulgi's office opened violently. From the outside, Joy emerged with a living expression of anger and, without saying anything else, threw a strong punch at Seulgi that made her fall to the ground. Once there, Joy held her collar tightly  
  
"Why did you do it?!" she screamed with fury right in Seulgi's face "Why Irene of all the fucking people in the world?! You knew very well that I was thinking of dating her and you still went behind here like a dog in heat! Why?!"  
  
Wendy couldn’t believe this was the Seulgi she’d known for three years... Seulgi would never do that to her best friend, not even for the sake of a marketing strategy  
  
Some of the others workers who were there immediately went to get Joy out of the office. Wendy could only watch as Seulgi tried to stop the bleeding in her lower lip. They looked at each other one last time before Wendy left the office with her eyes full of tears and her heart broken in half.  
  
Two months passed since that violent encounter  
  
Wendy gradually tried to forget Seulgi and her cruel betrayal even when her heart still cried out to her. She was her soul mate after all; no one could replace that spot in her heart no matter how hard they tried. The heiress (now finally the owner of the company) always thought that their relationship would last forever, that there would be nothing in the world that could harm them...  
  
She never thought that the damage would come from the inside  
  
She wanted to start another life, another life in another country where there was no 'nation's photographer’ or her relationship with the 'hot Irene'. Another life with her own house, maybe with her own family and with one or two kids because she loved those fluffy stuffs too much...  
  
The life that Seulgi promised when she told her they should run away. Run away from what? What did Seulgi wanted to escape that day?  
  
Wendy didn’t want to think about that anymore. She just wanted to go away.  
  
Joy quitted Seulgi's company after she found out what her best friend had done and now she was working with Wendy. The heiress had decided to go to America to start living there and leave Joy working with her company in Korea since she knew that the woman was a good element.  
  
Right now both were outside the building of her company, Wendy had a few suitcases packed in her car and her flight was about two hours away. Joy gave her a big hug and took her hands between hers  
  
"Are you sure about this Wendy-unnie?" she asked with concern "You’re leaving everything behind"  
  
"That's what I want... I want to start all over again and not remember anything. After all... she said that the memories she built with me were nothing. She is very important to me but.. I can’t force myself to be like this all the time. I have to find myself again”  
  
Joy sighed, her own heartbreak surfacing in the middle of everything  
  
"I suppose you're right unnie... be careful over there, will you? Remember to call me often and don’t forget much about me. I’ll miss you"  
  
Wendy smiled and hugged Joy before getting into her car and driving towards the airport  
  
Seulgi took her camera and photographed Irene for the last time in the session  
  
"Very good unnie. That’s the last for the day. Well done"  
  
"Ugh, I was starting to get annoyed... sometimes you can be a pain in the ass Seulgi"  
  
"I just wanted you to look good. Come check the photos"  
  
They both sat behind the computer to review all the photos of the session. Irene pointed to those she didn’t like and Seulgi began to erase them, neither of them said a single word that had nothing to do with work. Their relationship had changed a lot with the flow of time  
  
The work ended, Seulgi took her camera and was about to leave when Irene took her hand  
  
"Seulgi... are you okay?"  
  
"Of course not. I haven’t been well for a long time. I lost my soul mate and my best friend" Seulgi laughed bitterly and shrugged "But hey... what was I expecting right? This is what I deserve for being a piece of shit"  
  
"It's not your fault Seulgi.I... I'm really sorry, I didn’t think it would come to this. I tried to solve things with Joy but-"  
  
"Its okay, unnie. Time has gone by, probably the two of them don’t even remember it anymore"  
  
Seulgi's phone soon rang, on the screen reflected a number she’d never seen before. With a raised eyebrow, she picked up  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Do you want to sort things out with Wendy-unnie?"  
  
The voice on the other end of the phone was strangely familiar and Seulgi's heart began to beat quickly.  
  
"Joy? Oh my god, it's you Joy"  
  
"Wendy-unnie is going to America today. She must be arriving at the airport now but you still have exactly half an hour to stop her. Move your ass and you’ll probably reach her"  
  
"Why are you doing this for me…?"  
  
"Because Irene-unnie showed me what you did, asshole. You have a big, golden heart and all of that but you really are an asshole. Move now"  
  
The call ended and Seulgi, not caring that Irene was still there or that she should deliver the photographs, ran out to the airport, driving her own car at full speed until she could finally see the huge building at a distance. She barely parked her car before running out of it to the terminal that had the flight to America  
  
There, just a few steps away, was Wendy  
  
Seulgi noticed so many changes in her: she had cut her hair, stopped using the heels that bothered her so much and replaced them with a pair of sneakers, her body still had a slender figure and that beautiful smile was still on her face.  
  
"WENDY!!"  
  
She shouted as loud as her lungs allowed and immediately called the attention of everyone around her, including the one who was her soul mate. The girl opened her eyes surprised as soon as she saw her and, without hesitating a bit, she left the terminal to run to Seulgi.  
  
Seulgi immediately wrapped her in a tight hug, not caring whether she hugged her back or not, she just wanted to feel her close to her body one more time... one last time if she couldn‘t do anything  
  
"Don’t go" she whispered as she fought against her tears "Please don’t go, I don’t know what I would do without you"  
  
"Stop playing with me Seulgi" Wendy murmured as her arms slowly hugged the girl in front of her "Stop breaking my heart like that"  
  
"I'm not going to lie to you anymore, okay?" Seulgi broke away from the hug and took Wendy's face between her hands. "I'll show you what happened, okay? If even after that you want to leave then it's okay, just let me show you all this"  
  
The small spark ran through their bodies and Wendy found herself into memories she never saw before  
  
"Seulgi you have to help me"  
  
Irene was talking with Seulgi in her office, Wendy was watching everything from Seulgi's perspective  
  
"There's someone behind me, one of the drama directors... he’s constantly stalking me and threatening to ruin my career if I don’t have sex with him"  
  
"Huh?! What a bastard... how can I help you unnie?"  
  
"Pretend to be my girlfriend"  
  
The memories then became a little fuzzy, probably because Seulgi didn’t remember very well either  
  
Soon, Wendy could see a new scene  
  
"I accept unnie... I'm going to be your so called girlfriend"  
  
Irene jumped in excitement and hugged Seulgi  
  
"Thanks Seulgi! I really don’t know what I would do without you"  
  
"Talk to Joy maybe... Why didn’t you ask her to pretend to be your girlfriend?"  
  
Irene's expression fell suddenly  
  
"I... I don’t want my relationship with Joy to be just a hoax maybe when all this ends I can explain things"  
  
Seulgi sighed  
  
"I just hope that this doesn’t reach Wendy... maybe if I ignore her for a few days she’ll forget me"  
  
"Yeah right" Irene let out a mocking laugh "As if that is going to happen, you’re soul mates idiot. She won’t forget you just like that"  
  
The memory ended. And now it changed to that night where Seulgi told her they should run away... Wendy finally understood what she was talking about that day... she wanted them to escape the scandal and be happy but Seulgi couldn’t do it in fear of leaving Irene behind and putting her in danger  
  
"I love you Wendy" Seulgi whispered against her bare shoulders "Never forget that"  
  
Wendy was crying by the time she returned to reality. She hugged Seulgi again  
  
"Why didn’t you tell me anything?" she claimed in a high-pitched voice. "I could‘ve helped Seulgi"  
  
"Sorry... Irene was still in danger by the time you realized everything. I’m sorry for all those words I told you, I’m sorry for all those lies. I was just trying to help a friend and everything ended like this, please forgive me Wendy I still love you. Don't walk away from me"  
  
Now it was Wendy who shared her memories and, of course, made use of the one they both loved so much: the memory of their first kiss. That time where both were so afraid of not knowing what to do, that time where it was impossible to put in words how much they loved each other and how much they wanted to spend their lives together  
  
Seulgi kissed her forehead in the middle of her tears after coming back to reality  
  
"Do you still want to run away with me?" Wendy said with a smile  
  
"Run away? But... your flight just left"  
  
"We don’t need to go anywhere else Seulgi, we can still have our own house and our own family... we don’t have to run away so far"  
  
Seulgi smiled and wiped her own tears  
  
"All right, Wendy. Let’s run away"


	11. A Little Too Much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy and Seulgi agree to be friends with benefits. In a win-win situation...who suffers the least?

"It's only sex"  
  
Wendy always said that every time she got out of bed and began to wear the light blue shirt she had chosen that day. It wasn't the best outfit to hide her superstar statua but at least it worked as something. Seulgi watched her from the bed with her head resting on one of her hands and the ruffled sheets of the hotel bed tangled around her waist barely covering her nakedness  
  
"I already know that. You always tell me"  
  
"Today you kissed me" Wendy was still buttoning her shirt but now in front of the mirror. There was no light in the room, after all they always turned them off. The only thing that allowed Seulgi to look at Wendy was the light coming from the lamps in the street that filtered slowly through the windows with the big curtains drawn. Wendy tucked the collar of her blouse and turned to look at the goddess lying on the bed. "We said that no kisses were allowed"  
  
"Come on," Seulgi laughed lightly as she dropped on the bed "It was the moment, you looked so good moaning under me... I'm sorry, it just slipped away"  
  
The woman in the shirt took a few steps towards the bed but tried to stay as far away as possible from the mattress. She knew that if it touched her even a little, she would return to the cold claws of Seulgi and lose herself in the deep pleasure of being dragged to a blissful heaven  
  
"It shouldn't happen again, okay? We said no feelings or any of that. It's just experimenting"  
  
Seulgi shrugged, a gesture that Wendy could see even in the darkness and wondered why the hell it made her so upset right now. 'A relationship without feelings' clearly meant not only love but also everything else: jealousy, sadness, anger and whatever others want to add to the long list of emotions in the human existence  
  
Wendy turned around and picked up her purse from a table near the door. She left with a soft click from the knob and Seulgi finally devoted herself to look at the ceiling and all the imperfections it had. Tonight, like every other night in which she had sex with Wendy, she wondered what the hell she had gotten herself into and why the hell she had accepted. Cursed the day she accepted because surely on that day it was her crotch the one that decided and not her brain  
  
Seulgi had agreed to be a friend with benefits for Wendy and it really wouldn't be a serious problem if it wasn't because they were idols, very popular idols just a few weeks away after getting a perfect all kill for their latest album, idols that still lived in a dorm with three more girls (one of them being Bae Joohyun, the woman who had the sense of a bloodhound to identify all kinds of bullshit) and that these girls didn't have the slightest idea of what was happening, nobody had  
  
Both were lying about events and schedules to be able to go out at night without any member asking what the hell was going on. Both hid from fansites, managers and staff to leave the hotel room without raising a single suspicion. Until now they were okay with it but... how long would it take before losing everything?  
  
They were playing with fire and they didn't give a damn about burning  
  
It had all started as a method to relieve stress after all the enormous workload they had. Comeback after comeback and show after show began to have effects of fatigue in the body of both singers and they reached that agreement as if it were a mere business transaction: they didn't have time for a relationship and that was the best option to de-stress. The original idea was slowly transformed and now what started as the favorite de-stress method of the famous '94 line had become 'a experiment' just for Wendy. Seulgi had nothing to experiment anymore, she wasn't stupid and she knew very well that she liked women and was attracted to them but apparently for Wendy it was something more  
  
Seulgi sighed and thought of the words she read before  
  
In the end, one of the two will end up falling in love  
  
The dancer hated with all her heart that she was the one who had fallen in love  
  
Exactly one hour after Wendy left the hotel, Seulgi took a taxi back to the dorm. It was close to three in the morning and surely they would all be too tired to stay awake, especially after the day before they had finished their schedule early in the afternoon. If someone asked where she had been it was simple to lie that she had been in the company practicing her new dance routines  
  
She opened the dorm door, all the lights were off without exception. Seulgi knew that she was supposed to sleep in Wendy's room, they had shared it for years yet the dancer wasn't comfortable sharing a room after what they had done just a few hours ago. Seulgi got rid of her shoes just by the side of the door and walked through the darkness to the main sofa of the room, sitting on it before falling down and closing her eyes trying to get some sleep  
  
She wondered how much longer she would last like this  
  
"We have to go to that place, Seul, I swear you're going to love it. They sell the most delicious sushi I have ever ate in my life"  
  
Wendy and Seulgi were in the backseat of a taxi in the middle of the night. They used the new excuse of 'go touring the city' and looked for a more private hotel after the first one began to be stalked by curious photographers who were dragging too much attention with rumours and news headlines. It had been exactly two months after the last meeting  
  
Wendy rested her head on Seulgi's shoulder. The dancer looked out the window at the changing lights of the city with her head full of anxiety and her heart full of expectation. If things were different maybe she and Wendy could be sharing memories of a date right now, they could get home and keep laughing at how much fun they had. She was starting to feel cold, the shirt and skirt she had chosen for tonight didn't help her at all  
  
But in reality they were on their way to the same fake loving scenario of all those nights and that just emptied Seulgi's heart. Seulgi hated to be satisfied with so little, to be happy with such a small portion of said feeling  
  
It was better to have a little of Wendy than to have nothing at all  
  
"Wouldn't it be better if we eat jokbal at that restaurant from the other day?" Seulgi replied with a smile, gentle and without signs of the cataclysm that went off inside her soul. As soft as the ones she always used just for the woman she loved the most  
  
"Jokbal, jokbal is always jokbal" Wendy let out a slight laugh and went up to Seulgi leaving a long kiss on her cheek while her free hand caressed the opposite side of her face  
  
"Kang Seulgi you are adorable"  
  
The hallway to the hotel room was filled with laughter and messy kisses in every corner where they could stop until they finally reached the room that Seulgi had booked at least a few hours before.  
  
Wendy threw the dancer to the bed with a smile. Soon Seulgi closed the distance between them and joined their lips in a deep kiss. Seulgi wrapped her hands around Wendy's neck and grabbed a couple of strands of hair between her fingers, pulling them a bit as she sought access to her lover's mouth with her tongue. Wendy immediately allowed her to enter but sought to be the one who took control of the kiss, the lack of lust in the kiss made Wendy scared to the knees. The only thing she felt was passion and love... so much that she couldn't understand it. There wasn't a single sign of the usual animal urge that destroyed them  
  
Wendy took a moment to catch her breath but it was too short, she couldn't keep away from the dancer for a single second. Her hands began to caress her sides and then to undo each one of the buttons of her shirt without pulling away from that wonderful body. God... Seulgi's body could become so addictive, Wendy was beginning to think that she wouldn't dare to fuck anyone else after that night.  
  
The vocalist left Seulgi's shirt half removed and slipped one of her hands under her skirt instead. Creating meaningless patterns on the soft skin of her thighs and listening as she couldn't contain some sighs with her name. Wendy then chose to take revenge on some of the nights before: she broke the contact and went down to the gap between the dancer's shoulder and neck to leave a deep lovebite that would be recorded as a purple mark.  
  
"Ahh" Seulgi wriggled under her body "Wen-Wendy what are you doing?"  
  
Wendy completely ignored her prayers and kept biting until she felt her teeth breach the thin layer of skin and a slight copper taste flooding her mouth. For some strange reason, Seulgi was beginning to feel a strong tightness in her chest. Never before had she cared that Wendy would mark her as something she owned but now she did, now she did because it confirmed that it was still sex no matter how much they laughed or looked happy. She completely ignored those thoughts at the moment, too submerged in her world of desire to think that surely the next day she would have to wear a scarf  
  
Once Wendy was satisfied with her work of art, she ran her tongue over it to try to relieve a little of the pain that was surely present and placed a small kiss above the dancer's lips. Seulgi tangled her fingers in her hair again and let out a moan that went straight to Wendy's crotch.  
  
"I thought we shouldn't kiss," Seulgi muttered suddenly  
  
"Isn't that what you like? Don't get too used to it" Wendy smiled confidently  
   
"Sure" Seulgi sighed "Sure..."  
  
Wendy joined their lips again in another passionate kiss and now it was she who started that battle to dominate each other. Finally she realized that her hypothesis was true: Seulgi seemed to have control of things but as soon as she began to feel pleasure she collapsed and let Wendy give her everything she had to give her.  
  
But why wasn't she trying to gain control?  
  
Did she knew something about her own plans?  
  
After a couple of minutes of kisses and caresses, Seulgi was completely naked on the bed, gripping the sheets tightly after Wendy pushed two of her fingers inside her core with an incredible softness. The feeling of being filled little by little was something that drove Seulgi crazy and she just wanted to feel more of that, she didn't care if she ended up coming in a minute. She just wanted to feel Wendy completely inside her body.  
   
And apparently, after all, they were truly soulmates because Wendy began to move her hand gently before taking a small move and start moving her hand faster. Returning to the roughness of the last night they were together  
  
Seulgi knew that she shouldn't be having these thoughts now, she should be moaning and biting her lips or gripping the sheets to the point of ripping them. She shouldn't be thinking that she finally thought she would find the person she was destined to spend the rest of her days with after so long looking for her, Seulgi shouldn't think about how the hell she was going to let Wendy know about her feelings when she clearly had no interest in them  
   
Seulgi realized everything in the morning after having sex with Wendy for the first time. She had felt how Wendy marked her whole body with bites and scratches but for some reason she felt incredibly happy. She finally felt that she had found the meaning of the word 'friends with benefits'. It was a bad idea of course but she felt taken care of by Wendy, she felt that she had everything with her  
  
This was the least romantic way in which Seulgi had imagined things  
She hoped that when she confessed to Wendy everything would be perfect and she would tell her that she was also in love with her: she always dreamed that she would take her to a park, to a coffee shop, maybe even saw herself in line to buy movie tickets with her being envied by all who saw her with Wendy. Seulgi even thought that her first time would be full of love  
  
It had never crossed her mind that she would end up hurt like that with a broken heart in pieces  
  
Wendy hadn't noticed anything?  
  
Seulgi lost the notion of time. Maybe they spent hours or just minutes that felt too good and had felt like whole days. By the time she regained the perception of time, a moan ripped her throat and her back turned into a perfect arch on the bed as a sign of the strong orgasm that had just run through her body and left her feeling like jelly. She was breathing rapidly while her heart was lashing furiously in her rib cage and her half-open eyes could only make out Wendy's mischievous smile.  
  
Oh how much Seulgi wanted to tell her that she loved her  
  
"I didn't want to tell you before but... today we end all of this Seul"  
  
Wendy arranged her makeup and her hair in front of the mirror in the new room. Seulgi didn't look at her with the confidence she had in the meeting of two months ago, she tried to hide between the sheets and pray to any deity that everything would just end soon.  
  
Wendy's words floated around her like bloodthirsty sharks  
  
"Why?" Seulgi hates that her voice sounded so fragile and so broken "Did something happen?"  
  
"I found someone" the vocalist let out a slight laugh "It's not someone famous but she's a wonderful girl, we met a while ago and I'll go out with her"  
  
Seulgi felt like crying as she sat on the bed and began to dress. The cloudyness of her eyes barely let her see what clothes were the right ones in the middle of the room. Her silence must have disturbed Wendy because her best friend turned around and looked at her with a worried face  
  
"You're leaving now? You always wait, Seul"  
  
"Not today" the dancer replied without strength "I'm leaving early, I have things to do"  
  
This time it was Seulgi who took her things and hurried out of the hotel room without waiting for anything else, without looking back as Wendy called her by her name. She took the first taxi she saw and ignored the worried look of the driver through the rearview mirror as she cried and sobbed to try to calm down her broken heart  
  
When she opened the dorm's door she found Irene, who seemed to have just arrived from her own schedule, between commercials and the endorsement of all kind of brands, the leader barely had time to sleep and now fate made them meet just at that moment. Seulgi tried to control her sobs but they only got worse  
  
"Seulgi, what happened to you?" Irene looked distraught, her eyes full of curiosity staring at her and her brow furrowed slightly as she approached her.  
  
"Unnie..." Seulgi sobbed and ran to hug her "Unnie..."  
  
Irene just wrapped her arms around her  
  
It seemed that fate sometimes played horribly with the lives of people and then tried to solve its stupid mistake no matter how much it took. In this case, Irene had been the one who healed, took care of and repaired Seulgi's broken heart  
  
A couple of months have passed since Wendy broke that agreement. Seulgi now saw it as a distant memory, a grotesque scar that no longer hurt but would always remind her of the pain that went through.  
  
Irene offered her a real relationship, offered her the security from which Wendy flew away  
  
Irene didn't mind kissing her, Irene didn't mind going out on a date, Irene didn't care to stop being a friend to turn into a lover, Irene didn't mind making love to her on nights she needed love and worshipping her body as if she were the most benevolent goddess of all mythologies  
  
Irene didn't mind telling her that she loved her  
  
"Seulgi-ah, you choose the movie" Irene left three boxes of DVDs on Seulgi's lap while she ran to the kitchen to check the pot where she cooked ramen. It was one of those few days off that Red Velvet had and they had decided to watch a movie together. Joy and Yeri fought for the seat closest to the screen, Wendy was distracted with her phone and Seulgi was trying to put the film on the DVD  
  
"Seulgi-ah! Help me with the ramen!" Seulgi almost jumped in her place to run to the kitchen, Joy and Yeri yelled at her about how ‘whipped’ she was ... apparently the only thing that could unite those girls was the need to pester Seulgi with anything  
  
The dancer returned with a bowl of ramen for each one of the members just in time to start the movie. She took a seat in one of the largest sofas in the living room while Irene sat down next to her and gave her a long kiss on the cheek.  
  
Seulgi couldn't help but look at Wendy's gaze, a look that told her a thousand things but nothing of the words she wanted to hear. The dancer felt a strange satisfaction after all she knew that Wendy hadn't gone very well with the girl who she was dating  
  
"I love you," Irene whispered against her cheek, Seulgi giggled and smiled widely, her eyes turning into two crescent moons since those words never went out of style.  
  
Wendy picked her bowl and sat right in front of the TV where she could ignore the little pair of lovebirds on the sofa. Seulgi leaned to place a small, short kiss on Irene's forehead and start slurping her own ramen…she felt sorry for Wendy because she was her best friend but this was the agreement they reached long ago. No feelings  
  
And no feelings also meant no jealousy  
  
At last Seulgi had found someone to give her body and heart to  
  
Unfortunately, it wasn't Son Seungwan


	12. Drip Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a car accident, Wendy is turned into a vampire by the love of her life. However there's much more than just a simple bite behind everything

"You have to do it"  
  
Wendy had never heard that voice, it seemed like it was miles away. Listening to her was like running her hand through velvet or eating the most delicious dessert in the world. It was soft, as if the person behind her didn't put much effort into giving a tone to her voice  
  
"I can't ... I'm afraid of losing her forever and being alone again. God knows I couldn't endure another hundred years without her"  
  
That voice did sound familiar... it was so full of anguish and worry. It was Seulgi, Wendy's fiancee since just a few weeks ago. They were planning their wedding, too excited to pay attention to the rest of the world. Wendy was really happy about the idea of wearing a white dress in front of an altar and celebrating her union with the love of her life  
  
"Do you realize how selfish you sound? It seems that all of these centuries of living haven't taught you anything of human values"  
  
"Unnie, please!" Seulgi exclaimed, still anguished, "Things shouldn't go like this! Why should I condemn her to never break that cycle?! The last time nothing went right!"  
  
Condemn her? What was she going to condemn? Wendy couldn't understand anything that she was listening. She tried to move, to open her eyes so she could see Seulgi and ask for an explanation of everything that was going on, however, Wendy's body didn't move a bit. There was a throbbing pain running through her body accompanied by deep darkness. She could only hear what was happening around her  
  
"Then what the hell would you do? Let her die? You would spend another hundred years looking for her in every corner of the world and you'll always regret not having tried to rescue her. Do it now"  
  
There was a sepulchral silence followed by an anguished growl. Wendy soon felt cold hands touch her cheeks. For some reason, they felt colder than usual  
  
"Forgive me" Seulgi's voice was heard just above her lips, so broken and pained "I didn't want to do this, forgive me"  
  
Seulgi kissed her forehead for a long moment to then kiss her cheek and hide her face between her neck  
  
"Remember that I love you"  
  
Wendy felt a pair of fangs in her neck, sinking and going through all the layers of skin, tissue and muscle until they reached one of her arteries. A slow, aggressive, painful substance leaked into her bloodstream and began to take effect quickly. Wendy could feel it changing her... there was no pain but she just felt different  
  
Soon she lost consciousness  
  
"Was it too late? Oh God, why don't you wake up, Wendy? Why don't you come back to me?"  
  
The broken voice of Seulgi left a deep hole in Wendy's soul. She didn't want to hear her fiancee suffering not even a little bit. She didn't remember anything about how the hell she had come to this state and had no idea what was happening but she hoped that Seulgi could finally explain everything to her  
  
At last she could move her body now but what interested her the most was being able to open her eyes. As soon as she opened them she could see a room that wasn't very dark, it was rather illuminated by the faint rays of the sun at dawn. The ceiling was white and a single light bulb was the only thing that illuminated it although at this moment it was off. The curtains in the windows were too thick and the feeling under her body was that of a comfortable and soft bed.  
  
She tried to test her voice  
  
"S-Seul?" She threw a name into the air, after all she heard her fiancee's voice barely moments ago.  
  
"Wendy?" Seulgi immediately approached her fiancée and hugged her tightly until her hands wrapped around her neck, a hug that no longer felt as empty and cold as other occasions. Seulgi then kissed Wendy's forehead and sighed  
  
"You finally came back, you have no idea how terrified I was. Are you okay?"  
  
The confusion continued to plague Wendy's thoughts  
  
"What happened, Seul? Where am I?"  
  
Seulgi looked at her straight in the eyes and soon her own look filled with surprise, her eyes opening wide after looking at her  
  
"Wendy... your eyes changed. They are still dark brown but they shine a little more"  
  
Wendy just kept making eye contact with her lover while Seulgi cradled her face in her cold hands and caressed her cheeks. Seulgi tilted her face to the side and smiled gently.  
  
"It seems that you handled everything just fine. You are a vampire now"  
  
This time it was Wendy who opened her eyes in surprise.  
  
Seulgi had told her about their lifestyle since they barely had a couple of months of dating. The blonde talked about being a vampire and having a couple of hundred years living on earth, having lived all kinds of catastrophes and prosperous times for humanity in addition to having learned as many arts as there were out there. At first, everything was too much for Wendy... the girl always thought that the love of her life, no matter how beautiful she was, was human and that beauty was just another privilege. It took a couple of weeks for Wendy to realize that the fact that Seulgi was a vampire didn't change anything in the love she had for her and her desire to be forever by her side  
  
Seulgi was never convinced to transform Wendy. She always defended the idea that Wendy should be ready for change because if she did it in a forced way things wouldn't work even when the vampire's wishes were to keep her lover forever with her. When Seulgi proposed marriage to her a few weeks ago in the middle of their trip to Vienna (the city where Seulgi had first met her while Wendy was sightseeing and the blonde was taking pictures of the surroundings) Wendy thought that she was finally ready to transform into a vampire  
  
Apparently everything had been aligned  
  
"Transfor-? But you said I wasn't ready"  
  
The vampire's excited smile faded faster than it had appeared  
  
"It was a matter of life or death, beautiful." Seulgi stroked her lover's face with the back of her hand, so gently that it seemed like she was touching porcelain. "As you were driving home, your car hit a truck and you were about to die. If I didn't transform you I would have lost you forever"  
  
The blonde moved a little closer to Wendy, touching their foreheads with each other before joining their lips in a romantic kiss. A deep one, a constant play of lips that wasn't enough to express the passion they felt for each other. Wendy gave herself completely to Seulgi's fierceness, letting the vampire drain all the frustration and fear of being so close to saying goodbye. The blonde's fingers slid slowly to Wendy's blouse trying to unbutton it and accomplishing her task with the first two buttons of the blouse  
  
However, someone cleared their throat  
  
The noise came from the door of that empty room. Wendy immediately buttoned her buttons (with the same awkwardness as when she was human, at least she knew that the vampire genes didn't do miracles) while Seulgi turned her honey-colored eyes to the door  
  
"Unnie" the blonde said with a slight bow "Wendy is better...the poison had no consequences"  
  
The woman at the door was beautiful: blonde like Seulgi although her hair was slightly wavy, her eyes were a mix between shades of gold and dark brown, ahe didn't have much height but it wasn't something that mattered especially when she was wearing clothes of expensive brands from head to toe. Wendy had never seen her before and wondered if she had been the one who instructed Seulgi to inject the poison into her blood  
  
"We don't know each other, do we?" The woman suddenly said looking in Wendy's direction "My name is Irene, you're in my house right now, Seulgi brought you here"  
  
Irene, that's the most appropriate name for such a beautiful woman  
  
Irene walked up to her and began examining her from head to toe, looking for some serious injury along her skin but there wasn't a single mark beyond Seulgi's bite on her neck.  
  
"You're right Seulgi" Irene spoke with a soft voice "She responded well to the poison, for now it must be enough maybe she won't have to feed until tomorrow"  
  
Wendy alternated her gaze between Seulgi and Irene like a child who doesn't understand the words of her parents. They were using vocabulary that for her were strange words, almost otherworldly  
  
Seulgi had a lot to explain to her  
  
Irene turned around and left the room without saying much more. Seulgi looked at her fiancée with an outstretched hand, she knew that Wendy would be full of doubts about her new life and what was supposed to happen from now on.  
  
Wendy took Seulgi's hand because even when everything had been spontaneous, she still had a deep trust in her  
  
As soon as she took the hand of her fiancée, Seulgi pulled her to her body and lifted her into her arms, entangling her feet around her waist and holding her by the thighs. Wendy tangled her hands around the vampire's neck  
  
"You have many explanations to do, Miss Kang" Wendy whispered against her lover's lips "Among them, what will you do with me"  
  
"Do you think they can wait a few hours?" The mischievous smile on Seulgi's face told Wendy that she would enjoy whatever her beloved's plans were.  
  
Wendy joined her lips in a brief kiss  
  
"Of course"  
  
The night stalked the city and along with it, Wendy and Seulgi watched their next prey from the roof of one of the huge buildings that decorated the metropolis  
  
"Remember, aim at her neck and don't hesitate a lot, these people aren't any good"  
  
Seulgi had explained to Wendy the rules of their hunt. Vampires had long since forgotten about ethics and moral divisions between what was right and what was wrong and Seulgi learned to hunt down humans who were dedicated to hurting others: thieves, abusers, rapists and murderers. Every night Seulgi looked for some of those people to quench her thirst and now Wendy had joined that process  
  
Wendy only nodded at the words of her lover and again saw the man walking on the sidewalk, between his hands he carried the handbag of a woman who he robbed a few streets back. With a sharp leap, Seulgi fell right in front of the man and immediately attacked her neck by piercing the skin with her fangs with lethal force. The poor victim tried to free himself several times without success and life slowly escaped his body until he no longer resisted  
  
Seulgi looked at Wendy who had stayed in the building  
  
"Come here, you need to try this before you feel weak"  
  
Relying on the strength of her legs and perhaps the new skills she had gained, she jumped out of the building and fell awkwardly at the side of Seulgi who was holding the still warm body of her victim with blood gushing from the wound in his neck. In a timid way, Wendy approached the wound and tasted the blood... it didn't taste exactly delicious but it wasn't too bad either and it seemed to calm any need that had been in her body since the previous day  
  
She was so lost in the metallic taste of the blood that she didn't hear Seulgi's voice calling her until she gently pulled her from the waist and removed her from the body  
  
"It's enough, Wen"  
  
Seulgi's whisper over her ear sent a shiver down her body and made her tremble in her arms. Conscience returned to Wendy's body like a bucket of cold water and made her see the reality of it all: she had just killed a person, someone who was probably committing a crime in order to survive, someone who probably had someone waiting for him at home in the same way in which she waited for Seulgi for many nights  
  
Her thoughts were disturbed when Seulgi left a brief kiss on top of her bite mark. Wendy was carried away by the feeling of protection she felt inside her arms, helped her to feel better about herself  
  
"You did very well, beautiful" Wendy had no idea if Seulgi knew what was going through her mind and that was why she was trying to cheer her up  
  
"I wish to never do it again" the newly converted girl answered with sincerity  
  
Seulgi said no more and instead took her back to Irene's house, in the background they could hear the police sirens roaring through the streets with fury perhaps alerted by the theft that occurred a few streets before ... what a pity they would find something else  
  
Upon returning to Irene's house, Wendy's mind was clearer and free of the moral dilemma she had submitted to after drinking the blood of the criminal. Seulgi opened the door to let Wendy enter first and they both found a scene not exactly very private  
  
Irene was sitting on the sofa in her living room, her button-down blouse was half-removed, and her long blond hair was untidy between the fingers of someone else, a girl with red hair and perfect silhouette in a semi-nude state. Wendy knew that she was no longer capable but still felt a blush on her cheeks and she looked to another point of the room hot scene in front of her.  
  
Seulgi raised her eyebrows in surprise and then cleared her throat. She wasn't prone to ruining this kind of moments but now she definitely had to do it (as a little revenge for what Irene had done when Wendy had just woken up the day before)  
  
Irene slightly diverted her gaze to the couple at the door while the girl on her lap moaned and threw her head back, you didn't have to be a genius to know what was happening.  
  
"Good night, unnie, good night Sooyoung-ah" Seulgi wanted to laugh out loud when Wendy turned her body completely to turn her back on that scene and not see it anymore "Wendy and I went to dinner...it seems you did too"  
  
'Sooyoung' the girl in Irene's lap, hid her head between the vampire's shoulder and neck while a new moan fell from her lips. Irene raised a hand to signal Seulgi and Wendy that they shoud leave  
  
"We are even now, Seulgi"  
  
Seulgi took Wendy's hand and they both ran towards some point in the house, Seulgi laughing out loud and Wendy bursting with embarrassment. After what she just saw, she wasn't feeling really well.  
  
Seulgi was sitting in front of a huge canvas with a painting partially finished. Wendy was sitting next to her carefully watching the progress of her lover, it was amazing all the skill she had with a brush but at the same time it wasn't something that should be surprised after she surely had years and years of practice  
  
Wendy now knew that Seulgi and Irene shared the huge house they were in right now. Irene had bought it several years ago and every so often she left it to avoid raising too many suspicions, which is why Wendy had never met Irene or the house. Seulgi also told her that Irene was the person who transformed her hundreds of years ago when Seulgi was only 24 years old after the girl fell from the top of a mountain while trying to climb it. Irene happened to be there by chance and her heart was moved by the scene of the dying girl  
  
Since then both became companions and had traveled the world with all kinds of adventures documented by journals, letters and, once the technology was enough, photographs.  
  
"Where do you have all of that, Seul? Your memories, I mean" Wendy asked as she rested her head on her fiancée's shoulder  
  
"Mhm... if I remember well they have their own room" Seulgi didn't stop looking at the canvas on which she worked "You could ask Irene but she is probably very busy right now, just look for it on the second floor. You can take what you want"  
  
Wendy nodded and left a kiss on the blonde's cheek before leaving Seulgi's studio and starting to wander around the huge house they owned.  
  
After a couple of minutes walking room by room, Wendy finally managed to find the place Seulgi said: it was a huge warehouse full of all kinds of books and documents some as recent as last year and others from several periods ago. Above an old desk was an album of photographs: the first one wasn't a photograph but the pencil drawing of a huge oak tree in the middle of a meadow and it dated more than three hundred years ago. Wendy felt her breath going away, definitely this book belonged to Seulgi  
  
"Are you surprised?"  
  
Wendy jumped slightly in her place and looked at the person at the door. Irene leaned against the doorframe, dressed in the same clothes she had seen her with just a few hours ago in the worst way possible on the sofa in her living room. Wendy made a slight bow to greet her  
  
"I'm sorry you saw me that way, it wasn't really my intention. I thought you and Seulgi left that's why I brought her here...I couldn't think much when I had Sooyoung almost naked on top of me"  
  
Wendy let out a laugh as Irene strolled through the huge bookshelves that contained the diaries and memories of her many trips. Irene took one of her own diaries in her hands and began to browse the pages disinterestedly while Wendy continued to review Seulgi's photo album, this time she had come across a black and white photograph probably much more recent than all the drawings and portraits she'd seen before  
  
"Where is Sooyoung now? Did you take her back home?"  
  
Irene sighed, placed the book on the shelf and then took a new one  
  
"She is sleeping"  
  
Wendy shifted her attention from the album to the oldest vampire  
  
"Sleeping? But-?"  
  
"Sooyoung is human" Irene quickly interrupted without wanting to give more explanations than she should give and the silence that came after her explanation made Wendy feel uncomfortable with that spontaneous question. Irene continued without anyone asking her "It's my fault... she wants to transform but I don't want to"  
  
For a moment Wendy remembered those days when she argued with Seulgi relentlessly that she wanted to become a vampire but her now fiancee wasn't able to do so. Maybe this was the perfect time to ask a question after Seulgi refused to explain  
  
"What's wrong with turning humans? Is it forbidden?"  
  
"Not at all, we are vampires and there's no law that can harm us" Irene approached the desk where Wendy was and took the album she had been reviewing, turning page after page without stopping to look at the pictures "They say we are a cursed race, everyone thinks that is because we live forever but in reality I would say it is because we see those who we love die"  
  
Irene stopped in a photograph and stared at it blankly, Wendy couldn't see what it was  
  
"There is a legend that says that each person will reincarnate every hundred years and although they will never remember their past life, they will end up meeting people they lived with before"  
  
Irene reached the photograph towards Wendy and the newly transformed girl almost dropped it on the floor  
  
In it was Seulgi with a girl identical to Wendy, the picture looked very old since it was still black and white, they had the city of Vienna as a background... right in the same place where Wendy and Seulgi had met a while ago  
  
"What is this?"  
  
"Seulgi found you a hundred years ago in Vienna, you two were very in love and about to get married but then, when she tried to turn you into a vampire, you couldn't handle the poison and died in her arms. Seulgi has been looking for you for a hundred years and that's why she didn't want to turn you"  
  
Wendy couldn't cry anymore but if she could at this moment she would. The girl looked at the picture one more time and she traced the silhouette of her blonde lover in the photograph  
  
"I've also looked for Sooyoung in every corner of the world, I wouldn't mind looking for her for another hundred years, but... I couldn't bear to lose her again"  
  
Irene sighed and continued roaming among the bookshelves. Wendy took out the photograph from the album and kept it in her pocket while she saw the beautiful woman getting lost in her memories  
  
"Enjoy your new life, Wendy"  
  
Irene's words echoed in her mind as she returned to the place where Seulgi painted. The painting was already finished by the time Wendy returned: a wonderful sunset landscape decorating the beach. Seulgi cleaned her utensils when she saw that her lover entered her studio again  
  
"Hey, I was about to finish"  
  
Wendy almost ran into her lover's arms, wrapped her arms around Seulgi's waist and smiled when she felt a kiss on her forehead. For now she wouldn't say anything to Seulgi about what Irene had found…  
  
"I love you, Seul"  
  
Seulgi giggled and stroked Wendy's hair  
  
"I love you too, beautiful"  
  
Wendy would remain silent for now  
  
After all, they had a lifetime to discover each other


	13. Replay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmates AU. Wendy finds herself stuck in a loop until she can find her soulmate...among the crowd in a fanmeet

The day when you meet your soul mate will loop constantly until you fulfill the exact conditions to meet them  
  
"Wendy-unnie! Wendy-unnie! Over here! Wendy-unnie!"  
  
Wendy heard her name being called again and again by a high-pitched voice. She turned her head around and looked for the owner of that voice with no result. Her bodyguards kept pushing her forward through the crowd and the voice drifted away slowly, Wendy didn't give up tough and turned her head one more time but it still had no result  
  
She was on her way to a fan-meeting on a popular mall in Seoul but before she could even get to the stage, a huge crowd gathered around her. Since the crowd was made mostly out of teens, they hardly realized how dangerous everything was for everyone and they just kept squealing and complaining at the bodyguards for doing their job. The heat suddenly rose and the air felt heavier while Wendy struggled to get to the stage between so many people without having a panic attack  
  
These were the times when she hated her star status so much that it was almost overwhelming. And one of them was when the security was so badly organized and her staff seemed to disappear out of nowhere, caring little to nothing about the safety of her fans…she loved being an actress and she loved appearing in all kinds of movies and dramas but not at the stake of young lives who only tried to get a little closer to their idol  
  
She finally made it to the stage and breathed a sigh of relief while her staff shouted all kinds of instructions to the crowd piling at the front and sides of the stage.  
  
"Wendy-unnie!" she heard a new shout "Over here!" A hand raised out of nowhere in the crowd, trying to get her attention but Wendy was still concerned about following her schedule without fail and completely ignored the pleas coming from the crowd. The noise around the stage was unbearable and frustrating so, no matter how much that person screamed her name, Wendy wouldn't budge  
  
Soon things started to cool down. The crowd got down from their euphoria and followed the instructions carefully: Wendy would be signing photos, posters and whatever kind of memorabilia they owned. All they had to do was keep calm, queue with care and without pushing others and be respectful to the staff going back and forth between the stage and the crowd. Wendy grabbed the pen carefully placed on the table where she sat and looked up at the incredible queue going all the way from the stage to the front entrance of the mall…man, this would be one hell of a day  
  
The event started and Wendy kept signing and signing until her hand hurt, and now (after all the mess at the start) this was the time when she loved being a star. The excited looks on her fan's faces, the high-pitched squeals or the shaky 'hi's' and 'noona you're so pretty', the little children looking up at her with their innocent eyes talking about how they dreamed of being like her one day in the future. Those moments made every hour of her time totally worth  
  
Wendy spent two hours in the fan-meet, greeting all kinds of people. Her manager got close to her and whispered in her ear about the next event she had scheduled and that she should wrap things up in here so they could move. With a slight nod, she grabbed the mic used by the staff and spoke softly  
"Everyone" the crowd quickly erupted into a loud 'Yes?' "Thank you for coming to this fan-meet. It was wonderful meeting all of you and I hope we can see each other really soon. Be careful on your way back home okay? See you"  
  
Some fans waved goodbye while others complained and whined about how they couldn't get any autograph or even shake hands. Wendy looked one more time at the queue: it was as long as before and she felt really bad for leaving all of that people behind…this wasn't what she meant but she had to force herself to leave. Her schedule was waiting  
"It can't be" Wendy heard a voice close to the stage and quickly turned her head to look at its owner. A medium-height girl (maybe around her twenties) dressed in a knee-length red sundress, held onto what looked like a present and her eyes filled with tears. Wendy felt a pang on her heart "Please Wendy-unnie, I waited so much for this"  
  
Her manager came quickly and grabbed her forearm before pulling her out of the stage. Wendy was left looking at that girl one last time before her bodyguards kindly asked her to pay attention to the road she was walking since it was slippery and her heels could make her fall down. Wendy couldn't get rid of the crying girl image running around her mind over and over  
  
She spent the rest of the day going around Seoul: interviews, photo shoots, more interviews, TV shows and a CF recording that lasted about five-hours thanks to the director being a complete and utter idiot with all his ‘you need to do this Wendy-ssi’ and ‘aren’t you a professional, Wendy-ssi? It doesn’t look like it”. So, at the end of the day, Wendy was completely spent as she fell on her bed, still fully clothed with her CF outfit and the heavy makeup she had to bear  
  
In the morning, when she woke up, she realized that she was dressed in her favorite pajama set (a blue short with flower patterns and a plain white shirt). The clock next to her bed showed 6:30 A.M. and the calendar marked April 5, she immediately got out of bed and ran to the bathroom to take a shower. Wendy was sure that her manager would come soon to pick her up and start her schedule  
  
In the middle of her hustle, she didn’t realize that she’d gone to sleep last night with makeup and the CF luxurious clothes not in pajamas.  
  
Wendy brushed her teeth, ran a comb through her hair and dressed in comfortable clothes. She heard the ringing of her phone really soon, her manager was already waiting outside her apartment so they could start the day. Before leaving home, Wendy could see that the clock read 7:20 A.M.  
  
"What will we do today, oppa?" the actress asked as she sat comfortably in the backseat of the car that the company provided.  
  
"Well, first we'll go to a photo shoot for the new drama you're recording, that shouldn’t take more than half a day, after that you have a fan-meet in the mall at the center of the city"  
  
Wendy raised an eyebrow  
  
"Another fan meet? But I just made one"  
  
"Huh?" now it was her manager who looked at her with a raised eyebrow "What are you talking about? The last time you did a fan-meet was six months ago"  
  
The actress squinted, doubtful. Maybe she was too tired to remember many things but she would never forget such an important event like that, much less when it’d taken so much time of her day and it had been so messy for everyone  
  
"Oppa, please" she complained again "I'm sure the last fan-meet I made was yesterday at the mall, try to remember. The queue was huge! It went from the stage to the entrance of the mall"  
  
"Wendy... I think too much work is frying your brain"  
  
"Oppa!"  
  
"I'm not lying to you, woman! Yesterday was your day off, ok? You didn’t have a single fan-meet or anything"  
  
Wendy tried to test the waters once more, only to confirm that her brain wasn’t really frying (or that she’d dreamed everything she experienced the day before). She leaned forward, resting between the driver's and passenger seat so she could take a better look at the sheet of paper with her printed schedule  
  
"Do I have to shoot a CF in the afternoon?"  
  
Her manager turned his head to look at her with surprise, apparently he was already beginning to suspect the same thing that Wendy or he was thinking how could he lock her up in an asylum without raising to much attention from the media  
  
"Yes, a makeup commercial, at 7 o'clock. Wendy, what the hell is wrong with you? How are you guessing all this?"  
  
"It's nothing, oppa, just a guess. I swear"  
  
But Wendy was sure that she already lived this and it definitely wasn’t product of a deja vu.  
  
She was about to scream when she reached the mall and a tide of people approached her trying to say hello. Her bodyguards immediately prevented everyone from getting close and she felt the air getting squished out of her lungs as she made her way to the previously set stage. Now she was completely sure that this was all a repetition of the previous day but how could that happen? No matter how much she tried to explain herself, those things just didn’t match  
  
And maybe she was panicking for nothing, maybe she really had to do a fan-meet in the same place at the same hour with the same kind of reaction…maybe, just maybe  
  
"Wendy-unnie! Wendy-unnie! Over here! Wendy-unnie!"  
  
That high-pitched voice calling her again…where did it came from? Wendy turned her head to one side: some kids were trying to make their way to her but the bodyguards kept pushing back. She did the same motion now to the opposite way and saw someone raising a hand above everyone in the crowd  
  
"Wendy-unnie! Over here!"  
  
“Miss Son, please don’t stop. Keep walking forward or you could get hurt” one of her bodyguards said and she obeyed, too afraid of falling down and putting her life at risk  
  
She reached the stage. The crowd piled up at the sides and the front. Her staff shouted instructions and her manager went back and forth over and over again  
  
Wendy finally realized what was happening: it was a loop  
  
That meant her soul mate was around the place, looking for her and trying to communicate in one way or another. But how could she find them? Where could it be? So many questions and so little answers…she couldn’t tell a single word of this to her manager or the event will be canceled and she could lose all chance to meet her soul mate  
  
Wendy grabbed the pen carefully placed on the table where she sat and looked up, the queue had the same length as yesterday (or was it today? She couldn’t tell now). The actress now had a slight guest about her soul mate maybe she had to meet them at the end of the event and, due to her heavy-packed schedule, things just didn’t go their way.  
  
Maybe if they speed up the event…  
  
So Wendy tried to be brief with every fan, signing and giving them a small handshake before getting to the next one. Right at the middle of the event, she looked up again. The queue just got a little bit longer man, at this rate they wouldn’t end the event again she felt slightly helpless  
  
After a long time, her manager climbed the stairs up to the stage and got closer to her ear whispering his orders  
  
“You have to wrap this up, we have an interview waiting”  
  
Wendy looked at him with wide eyes  
“An interview? Really?”  
  
“Come on Wendy. Just tell them you’re busy or something. We have to go”  
  
Oh man…this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be  
  
With a slight nod, she grabbed the mic used by the staff and spoke softly  
  
"Everyone" the crowd quickly erupted into a loud 'Yes?' "Thank you for coming to this fan-meet. It was wonderful meeting all of you and I hope we can see each other really soon. Be careful on your way back home okay? See you"  
  
She waved goodbye even after hearing the complaints from some fans and watching her body guards getting ready to keep her safe again. So the loop didn’t stop, that meant only two things: either her actions were wrong by speeding up the signing or her soul mate was waiting for her at the other side of the city in an interview, photo shoot or TV show  
  
“No way” a voice sounded behind her back. Wendy turned around and the same girl of the knee-length sundress looked at her with teary eyes and a present held in her hands “This can’t be happening. I waited so much for this”  
  
“I’m so sorry” Wendy answered “I have to go now”  
Her manager yanked her from the forearm and brought her out of the stage with the bodyguards following close until she finally left the mall and got inside the van. Wendy felt terribly bad for the girl at the meeting and, just like the previous day, she couldn’t get her teary eyes out of her mind.  
  
The actress had hope of ending the loop  
Interviews, photo shoots, more interviews, TV shows and a CF recording that lasted about five-hours thanks to the director being a complete and utter idiot. One more time. Wendy went to sleep in full make up and CF luxurious clothes.  
  
At morning, the first thing she looked at was the clock beside her bed. 6:30 A.M. She took another look at the calendar: April 5.  
  
The loop continued  
  
“Oh my god!” she screamed while pulling at her own hair but got out of bed anyways, rushing to brush her teeth and get ready for her manager calling so they could start the schedule…one more time  
  
Went she went outside, the clock read 7:20 A.M. The loop began its new turn again  
  
“Today we have a photo shoot for the new drama you're recording, that shouldn’t take more than half a day, after that you have a fan-meet in the mall at the center of the city”  
  
Wendy didn’t even ask why this time. She just rolled with her manager instructions.  
  
Everything repeated again  
  
From the crowd going all mental on her bodyguards to the sigh of relief that left her lips as soon as she reached the stage. The signing went just fine one more time, the queue got longer and longer and her manager whispered to her ear about wrapping things up and going to an interview somewhere at the outskirts of the city  
  
Wendy waved goodbye again. The fans complained again  
  
And she saw the sundress girl one more time  
  
But something seemed different  
  
“Every time” the girl whispered, her eyes teary and her hands balling into fists as she held onto the present “No matter what I do, you go away every time”  
  
The actress looked at her with half-lidded eyes before feeling the hand of her manager pulling at her forearm and making her walk out of the stage. And so her schedule went just like the other times with the huge exception that the CF lasted about six-hours this time, the director wasn’t the one to blame, this time it was her fault. She couldn’t stop thinking about the girl  
  
The loop started again  
  
“What the fuck should I do?!” Wendy screamed as soon as she saw the clock beside her bed with the big, red ‘6:30 A.M.’ etched on it “Who the fuck is my soul mate?!”  
  
The fan-meet started again. The swarm of people took her breath away, literally and figuratively. Her body guards pushed and there was that high-pitched voice screaming her name over and over and over again. Even when she reached the stage, she didn’t felt relief. Her eyes scanned the whole mall anxiously, searching for any clue, looking for any person that was completely different from the others but she had no result and so the signing went on  
  
“You have to wrap this up, we have an interview waiting” her manager whispered, she nodded and grabbed the mic to say goodbye without letting her mood get the best out of her smile and the love for her fans  
  
The sundress girl appeared one more time  
  
“Please, make it stop” she said this time with her eyes closed and her hands clasped together like she was praying at any god that existed. Wendy found her behavior rather unusual. Out of all the people on the loop, she was the only one who had a different set of actions every time “Don’t go away this time, please”  
  
The hand of her manager yanked her away  
And then she realized everything, she mentally face palmed herself  
  
The sundress girl was her soul mate  
  
Wendy broke away from her manager grasp and climbed the stairs up the stage again, ignoring the bodyguard’s pleas and the excited screams from the fans. The sundress girl was crying as she held onto the present, she turned around about to leave Wendy was quick enough to grab her shoulder and spun her around, looking directly at her eyes  
  
“Is you isn’t it?” Wendy said in a barely audible whisper “What’s your name?”  
  
The girl looked like a deer caught in the headlights but soon her surprised expression vanished and turned into the most beautiful eye-smile Wendy had ever seen in her whole twenty-four years of life.  
  
“Seulgi”  
  
Everything made sense now. The high-pitched voice chanting her name like a mantra, the hand rising above the crowd…all this time, her soul mate was right before her eyes and she couldn’t see a single thing. Wendy felt completely stupid and guilty. She couldn’t imagine how that girl felt on the last few days (or hours…ugh, she really couldn’t tell) and how horrible must’ve been waking up to the same sad scenario over and over again  
  
Wendy quickly engulfed ‘Seulgi’ into a tight hug. The fans screamed and the actress heard a loud roaring of cameras flashing around the place. Seulgi wrapped her arms around her back and held tight, like she was afraid of losing her again  
  
“Wendy!” her manager shouted “What the hell are you doing?! Come on!”  
  
“Come with me” Wendy said to Seulgi and took her hand, dragging her out of the stage just like her manager did so many times ago  
  
Interviews, photo shoots, more interviews, TV shows and a CF recording that lasted about five-hours thanks to the director being a complete and utter idiot…she did all of this again, this time with Seulgi watching everything like a kid on a candy store. The day went by, and soon they had to say their goodbyes. Wendy asked her manager to drop them both at ‘the sundress girl’ home and then she would take a cab to her own department  
  
“So, Seulgi” Wendy said as she took the girl’s hands between her own, swinging them up and down “Did you had fun today?”  
  
“Yeah!” she answered with excitement “You’re amazing Wendy-unnie”  
  
“Drop the ‘unnie’ thingy. Even if you’re younger, I don’t want you using that honorific with me okay? I’m Wendy and that’s it”  
  
“All right” Seulgi said, smiling at her one more time and making Wendy’s heart melt “Wendy, then”  
  
“Good” the actress smirked sideways and sighed “I guess is time to go now. I’m sure your parents must be dead worried by now…you’re getting your butt grounded and it’s my entire fault”  
  
Seulgi laughed out loud  
  
“Don’t worry. It was worth every loop”  
  
“Heh” Wendy chuckled and crossed her arms “You’re really something…well then! See you soon Seulgi! Have fun in your room for the next two weeks!”  
  
Wendy turned around and was about to leave when Seulgi shouted her name. Wendy looked at her with a raised eyebrow, the girl then reached inside a small pocket of her dress pulling out a silver necklace with a flower pendant on it  
  
“This is for you” she said with another of her eye-smiles  
  
The actress reached for it and immediately put it on, looking at the present with a smile  
  
“Look at this! This is great but you didn’t have to buy me something, you know? Now I feel even more damn stupid…I’ll get you something pretty next time okay? Expect it”  
  
Seulgi nodded and waved at her. Wendy did the same and they parted ways  
  
The next day Seulgi woke up at 10:00 A.M. with the calendar marking April 6. The loud ringing of her phone made an echo on her room, her parents scolded her last night and grounded her into her room but they didn’t took away her phone which was a huge relief. Groaning at the sound, she picked up and answered with a hoarse voice  
  
“Hello?”  
  
“Seulgi-ah!” someone shouted behind the speaker. Seulgi then recognized the voice as Yeri, one of her best friends “You have to turn on your TV! Quick, Channel 10!”  
  
Seulgi did just what Yeri asked while she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and yawned. Channel 10 was transmitting their most famous morning show and, according to the announcers, they had one hell of a guest with them.  
  
Seulgi felt a smile tug at the corner of her lips when she saw the so called guest  
  
“The actress Son Wendy is with us today!” one of the announcers shouted. Wendy waved at the camera and then picked the necklace hanging around her neck  
  
“I’m wearing your necklace, Seulgi! Is pretty right? Have a great day at your room!” the actress blew a kiss onto the screen  
  
And Seulgi smiled widely  
  
She was surely making the headlines of every gossip TV show


	14. Wish Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas is just around the corner. Wendy and Seulgi decide to spend their holidays with their family

Seulgi heard the sound of little feet running down the wooden floor of the hallways followed by another pair doing the same thing. She didn't have to be a genius to know that such activity wouldn't have a good result and even more when that pair of demons loved to wear only socks in that slippery floor. The brunette went into the corridor that connected her own room with the one of those little criminals and watched them while she crossed her arms across her chest. She wanted to burst out laughing looking at them being so happy but when those kind of games put them at risk, Seulgi surely had to give them a little heads up  
  
"Sowon, Seungmin. What do you think you're doing?"  
  
Both devils continued their furious race along the corridor and finally Seulgi caught them in her arms while both laughed and shouted, claiming to be placed down on the floor. Seungmin, the eldest with four years, managed to escape from the tight grip and held on to his mother's leg like a koala while he continued laughing loudly. Sowon, the one-year-old girl who still tripped on flat ground but for some reason had managed to run now, snuggled between the adult's arm and her chest, clinging to her mother's neck and feeling too safe in her arms to return to the dangerous ground  
  
"I've told you guys a million times that you shouldn't run with socks, you can slip and fall" Seulgi's voice sounded strong, even though she still wanted to laugh at the antics of her two little children. Each time she walked, she dragged the leg in which she had her firstborn clinging tight and that only made him laugh a little more. "Minnie, it's enough"  
  
"It's fun!" The boy cried with happiness when Seulgi tried to shake him off without success. Suwon brought her little fist to her mouth and mimicked her brother's evil laugh. God... they were adorable. Seulgi wanted to kiss them both  
  
"What are-? Oh my God… Kang Seungmin, Kang Sowon and Kang Seulgi, what in the world are you guys doing?"  
  
The three stopped at the sound of that voice. Seulgi felt the air escaped from her lungs and not because of the big problem she was in (she was supposed to be the adult here and she should keep things under control but her children didn't even take her seriously in the first place) but for the beauty of the woman in front of her. Her hair fell in a long chestnut waterfall up to her shoulders, she wore a white sweater and blue jeans with brown boots, she crossed her arms across her chest and now her body formed a perfect silhouette in the shape of an S  
  
Her wife and best friend, the most important pillar of her family.  
  
There is Son Seungwan. Wendy for the rest of the world  
  
The one that kept the family under control by the way  
  
"We were playing!" Seungmin shouted with a lot of excitement, Seulgi knew this ‘loud’ side was inherited from the woman she was staring at right now "Mom is comfortable"  
  
"Minnie, honey. You can't do that" Wendy sighed and came up to him, holding him in her arms and kissing him on the cheek once she managed to calm him down "You were running again with only socks, right?" When the boy nodded proudly, Wendy continued. "You can fall, baby and it's going to hurt. Can you go to your room and put on some slippers? We are going to make Christmas cookies if you do"  
  
"Cool! Let me go!" Seungmin jumped from his mother's arms in one quick leap and then (much to Seulgi's surprise) walked to his room while singing some typical Christmas song of the time. Seulgi and Sowon stared at Wendy with the same expression: mouth slightly open and innocent eyes full of curiosity. Wendy approached them both and took the baby in her arms repeating the same display of affection she did a moment ago with her eldest son and looking at Seulgi with a pout "What about you, huh? Aren't you supposed to be the adult here?"  
  
Seulgi smiled smugly  
  
"You're beautiful"  
  
Wendy blushed and walked to Seulgi just to hit her arm, an action that tore a laugh out of the child who still enjoyed the taste of her fist in her mouth  
  
"Oh my god, you're horrible"  
  
"I love you, Son Seungwan!"  
  
"Enough!"  
  
Minutes later the whole family was gathered in the kitchen of their home. The Christmas season was just around the corner, just a couple of weeks before the great day that everyone expected. Seulgi had managed to get a vacation from her job as a photographer because her boss also chose to take a vacation. Wendy only worked a half of her usual shifts at the bakery she shared with her friend Joy in order to spend more time with her beautiful family. Joy didn't care much (how she would care if she could bring her girlfriend at any time she wanted)  
  
That's how they decided to spend time with the two, as Seulgi loved to call them, baby bears. Seungmin had been the firstborn after Wendy chose to be the one who would carry him for nine months through the mythical method of artificial insemination. Sowon was born after Seulgi chose that they needed a new member for the family and she would be the one who would give her life inside her own body.  
  
Adapting to the parent lifestyle hadn't been easy but little by little things took a course and now they got used to it.  
  
Honestly, they wouldn't change anything for the life they were currently living  
  
"Mom, can you give me a cookie with the shape of Rudolph?" Seungmin was sitting in a chair in the small dining room inside the kitchen, Wendy was sitting next to him decorating a cookie with the shape of a snowman. Seulgi was in another chair with Sowon in her lap, both covered in flour and edible paintings, decorating a cookie with the shape of a Christmas tree  
  
"They aren't called 'Rudolph', Minnie. They are called reindeers"  
  
"Ren-Renei-Renender!" Seungmin smiled proudly at the new word he had just learned. Wendy nodded several times to confirm to her son that that was the correct pronunciation, Seulgi clapped as much as she could while she had both hands busy  
  
"Very good, Minnie. Renender sounds fantastic but 'reindeer' its the correct word, darling" Seulgi finished decorating the Christmas tree and smiled cutting a small portion to give it to Sowon who clapped happily after tasting the cookie "Do you like it, baby? I'll give you more"  
  
Wendy handed the reindeer cookie to her son and smiled widely when she saw that her own cookie was already finished, full of all kind of colors. She cut a small piece and reached her hand towards Seulgi so she could have a little taste, her wife was the number one jury after all. Seulgi didn't hesitate to taste it and whistled at the taste that flooded her mouth  
  
"Look at my reindeer, Mommy!" Seungmin raised the cookie in the air that was perfectly decorated. Apparently the hours he spent drawing with Seulgi were already having their first effects. Wendy smiled at the small art piece and took it carefully to show it to Seulgi "I'll save that for later. What can I make for aunt Irene? She doesn't like animals. Oh no! Yerimie doesn't like them either! I can only give a reindeer to Joyie…"  
  
Seulgi let out a chuckle at her little boy's questioning while her other daughter was devouring a new fraction of the Christmas tree-shaped cookie  
  
"You can give them a snowman or a Santa"  
  
"Right! I'll make a snowman for Yerimie and a Santa for aunt Irene! But I have to make it as pretty as her"  
  
Wendy stroked her son's hair and left a kiss on his cheek. He was so kind and caring. Turning her head, she noticed that Seulgi was smiling widely in Sowon's direction who was trying to share some of her cookie with her wife in the midst of babbling and giggling at the exaggerated expressions that Seulgi made to amuse her.  
  
Wendy felt a rush of warm towards her heart  
  
"Look Sowon! Mom is making a snowman!"  
  
Wendy was sitting on the porch of her house with a hot cup of tea in the middle of her hands and the rest of the cookies that were left over by her side on a small plate. The snow had stopped falling about an hour ago and now the whole front yard was filled with a cover similar to cotton.  
  
Sowon was sitting on a piece of grass that wasn't covered in snow since Seungmin previously cleaned it for her, she worked on her own snowman. Seulgi was full of wet spots along her coat after the fierce snowball battle they had a couple of hours ago (a battle that left Wendy exhausted by the way, she had to learn not to react so excited to the games of her little ones). Seungmin gathered as much snow as his hands would allow and handed it to Seulgi who began to shape it.  
  
"Is it ready yet, mom? I'm cold"  
  
"Are you cold? Oh my. Come here, babe I'll give you a big hug, we are just missing the nose"  
  
Seungmin walked to his mother and stretched his arms to be lifted in the air. Sowon got up on the ground and stumbled, copying her brother's actions. Seulgi did her best to place the two of them in her arms while Wendy looked at them with a smile on her face. Those three were going to end up giving her a heart attack from all the amount of tenderness they had and she wondered if feeling so much for her family was okay  
  
Of course it was, it was called love  
  
"Ready, we're done" the snowman reached up to Seulgi's waist, he had small eyes and a twisted smile drawn with a tree branch and said branch also worked as his nose. Sowon clapped when she saw the man and Seungmin made a kind of face that didn't please Seulgi "What's up, baby?"  
  
"He doesn't have a hat"  
  
"That's because he's a bald snowman!"  
  
Sowon let out a laugh and Seungmin soon joined her, even Wendy (who had covered her face with the palm of her hand at Seulgi's answer) was laughing out loud. Seulgi walked back inside the house with both children in her arms  
  
"Poor snowman, mommy," Sowon laughed as she walked slowly towards Wendy, who was waiting for her with outstretched arms "He's bald"  
  
"It's going to be a long time before they get over that, Seulgi" Wendy picked up the little girl and walked inside the house with Seulgi following her closely. "Spring will come before they forget it"  
  
"Is okay... tell me, didn't the bald snowman make you laugh? Or better yet... the bald man"  
  
Wendy closed her eyes after the horrible pun by Seulgi and only went to prepare the bath for the two demons that were already talking in their own language about what Santa Claus would bring them for the next Christmas  
  
Two hours and a messy bath later, the whole family sat in front of the fireplace after the temperature dropped several degrees in the last hour and the heating just started to take effect in the rest of the house. Sowon and Seungmin worked together on a puzzle of small size while Seulgi and Wendy watched from one of the armchairs in the living room, cuddled under a blanket  
  
Suddenly, Seulgi received a call and got up from the chair to answer. Wendy covered herself with the blanket that was folded right next to her, she didn't have to cover herself with anything when her wife was at her side but in her absence she felt very cold. Sowon didn't even flinch at the sound of the phone but Seungmin seemed worried  
  
Wendy couldn't blame him  
  
"Is Mom talking on the phone?"  
  
"It won't be long, she'll come back soon"  
  
Seungmin didn't seem very convinced and looked where Seulgi had gone. She was talking so low that they couldn'thear anything at all. Wendy walked towards her son to try and give him a little more reassurance  
  
When Seungmin was just two years old, in the middle of a Christmas party, Seulgi had received a call from her work saying she needed to go on a trip to Europe for a major job offer. Seulgi spent more than four months away from home and Seungmin, although he was too young to remember, had a constant fear of letting Seulgi go beyond where he could see her.  
  
Seulgi returned a few minutes later with a huge smile on her face while she placed her phone in the back pocket of her pants. Despite her huge smile there were a couple of tears on her face  
  
Wendy was the first to notice  
  
"Seul, what's wrong? Is everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah, it is" Seulgi wiped away her tears "Do you remember what we've been looking for for months?"  
  
Wendy brought both hands to her mouth and tried to hold back a scream of excitement as she got up at full speed and ran to Seulgi to hug her tight. That which made them so happy was one of their main plans: to have their own house. The house where they lived now was perfect and it was where they had started building everything ... but it wasn't theirs and the rent increased year after year adding to the expenses of their children who were needing more and more not just love and food  
  
Both women had tried to find a way to get their house, no matter what it was. Thanks to Irene, they had managed to find a person willing to sell a house at a price accessible to both, a house that would give them a little more future about what they could give to their children  
  
Seulgi had just received a call that the transaction had been successful and, as soon as they wanted, they could move to their new house.  
  
Seungmin and Sowon watched the scene with happy faces but questioning looks. Wendy had enough courage to look at her children and reach her arms so she could hug them. Both children ran to their mothers and hugged them. Sowon was too small to understand and burst into happiness while Seungmin kept laughing and ranting about how great everything was  
  
Seulgi kissed Wendy's lips lightly in the midst of her excitement  
  
"I love you"  
  
"Do you think I don't?"  
  
Seulgi could only smile  
  
"Well guys," Wendy began. "Let's start writing new letters to Santa telling him we'll change our address"


	15. Gamble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy makes her best bet against a violent murderer expecting to not lose her happiness

The sound of gunfire and the smell of gunpowder were two things that Wendy would never forget  
  
Once again they had closed the labyrinth, the best detective team in Seoul was behind the serial killer with more relevance in recent days: "Gamble". No one knew their real name or how they looked behind a mask, there were just a few clues that led to them. The police had nicknamed them Gamble after it was discovered that they were only engaged in murdering people with debts and a special dedication to gambling. They were the public enemy number one  
  
"Go! Go! They're right behind that door!"  
  
The voice of her Captain, the faultless Bae Joohyun guided her in the midst of the sudden darkness of the corridor where they were located. An accomplice of Gamble had revealed that they were hiding in an abandoned shoe factory not far from the outskirts of the city, after having chased shadows all over the place from head to toe, the only thing they had left was the cellar. Wendy followed her team closely through a very narrow corridor, there were noises behind a rusted metal door she could feel that they were already close  
  
When Captain Bae opened the door at the end of the hallway she found nothing  
  
Nothing but the disgusting rotten smell  
  
The policemen's lamps shone on the bulge in the middle of the empty warehouse. A man lay in his own pool of dry blood with a shot in the head, the corpse had serious signs of decomposition so he probably had been there for days. On his chest he had a note:  
  
One pig for another pig  
  
Wendy turned her body around towards the door trying to ignore the smell and sound of the flies flying around the poor man.  
  
"Damn it" Lieutenant Park cursed behind her closed teeth before activating her radio "Park to HQ, send reinforcements and an ambulance"  
  
"HQ to Park, Understood, they're on their way"  
  
Wendy looked back at the corpse while covering her nose and mouth with the back of her hand  
  
Who the hell was Gamble?  
  
Wendy was the 'new girl' of the Criminology department of Seoul. She had finished her career in Canada just two months ago and was immediately transferred to the South Korean offices. As soon as she arrived, she was added to the research team under the tutelage of Bae Joohyun and Park Sooyoung  
  
Bae Joohyun was extremely quiet and introverted. However, her silence was the perfect weapon to know criminals like the back of her hand and build their profiles with the agility that a painter has to decorate a canvas. This cunning and intelligence had led her to be the head of the department and plan all kinds of ambushes for the most striking criminals in the city. She wasn't a very strong looking woman but still possessed an agility and unprecedented weapon skill.  
  
Park Sooyoung was the opposite of Bae Joohyun. In every sense. Even the color of her hair was different, Sooyoung had a darker tone while Joohyun was almost brunette. She was brute force, skill, agility and speed. She had so many ranks and awards in martial arts that Wendy had already forgotten all of them. She wasn't a true genius like Joohyun but she was capable of doing the dirty work and fighting to the brink of exhaustion with all kinds of police tactics. She was only a few years younger than Wendy but for some reason she already had the rank of lieutenant. That was a red light so that Wendy wouldn't dare to underestimate her  
  
As they say, opposites attract.  
  
And that's how Wendy realized that both captain and lieutenant were married.  
  
They had a mere professional relationship when they were at work. Wendy had never seen them kissing or holding hands but there was that little something that showed the bond both women had was beyond anything or the so called 'chemistry', that 'something' was very difficult to explain but could only be seen when they worked as a team, when Joohyun planned a strategy and Sooyoung executed it perfectly or when Sooyoung gave a description of some suspect and Joohyun built a customized profile. Their relationship went beyond simple marriage. Borderline in the term 'soulmates'  
  
Soulmates…  
  
"Wendy-unnie~ comeback to earth"  
  
Upon hearing the lieutenant's voice, Wendy shook her head from side to side and quickly made a military salute. Sooyoung laughed at the action of the girl and then dropped a folder full of papers on the desk of the rookie (which by the way, said desk worked like Wendy's office, located in a corner of the spacious room that was Sooyoung's own office: a room made of wood with large windows that gave a perfect view of the city and expensive paintings on the walls). Wendy immediately diverted her gaze to the folder  
  
"What is this, Lieutenant?"  
  
Sooyoung immediately lost her smile and sighed  
  
"More pictures of Gamble. Today they discovered two new victims in the landfill of a bar. God... they don't stop, with these we have five bodies overall and this last week has gotten worse"  
  
Wendy opened the folder with papers and her stomach took a sharp turn, pushing back the bagel with orange juice that she had this morning. The first victim was missing his tongue and two fingers with clear signs of torture in the rest of his body, the second had a large hole in his forehead, signal that the shot had come from the back of his head.  
  
"How can they do all of this?" Wendy muttered to herself as she looked at the details of the newly found corpses: both men were between 45 and 50, both related to the world of betting, that didn't show any pattern to call the attention beyond the obvious and what they already knew before those two bodies had been found.  
  
Gamble was too smart to leave behind a trace, in three months they had never managed to find a pattern to their murders and the most information they got came from that 'accomplice' (which was no more than a person who saw a suspicious silhoutte out of the abandoned factory and looked for a profit after reporting it). They had no idea how Gamble found or chose their victims, how old they were or how they spent their days when they weren't murdering people. Gamble could be anyone at this point and that was the truly terrifying thing about all this research  
  
"We are coming to some sort of closure, unnie." Sooyoung sighed as she dropped into her desk chair and her arms fell limp against one side almost like a rag doll. Wendy looked at her gently, at 22 she didn't deserve to be going through a amount of stress as big as this but that was her job after all, there wasn't much to complain about "We have a possible idea of their motive to kill all these people"  
  
Wendy leaned a little more on her desk, showing with her body language that she was completely interested in what her colleague was telling her. Her hands missed the folder she had closed and opened them again to look at the grotesque photographs.  
  
"We have ruled out that this is some kind of ‘punishment’. Most of the dead people didn't even have a big debt so this isn't a work from the mafia, one of our theories is that this is a hate crime, you know... the kind of crimes that leave us questioning if we really are an evolved species"  
  
The rookie police nodded a couple of times and diverted her eyes to the photographs. You didn't have to be a very intelligent detective to realize that those crimes were committed with a rage and a coldness worthy of a demon or a primitive beast. It was difficult, even with so many years of experience in theoretical and practical matters, to understand why the hell somebody would torture another person to the point of disfiguring them and then taking their life.  
  
"Joohyun ... I mean, Captain Bae, she's studying the victims right now. She believes that the key isn't in the annoying ass of Gamble but on their victims"  
  
Wendy smiled at the obvious mistake of Sooyoung  
  
"So is now Joohyun huh?" The rookie moved her brows up and down with the clear intention of making her superior angry. She knew that Sooyoung was quite serious with professional matters and would be very upset when she realized what she had just done  
  
"I'm sorry, unnie." Sooyoung smiled slightly and lifted her hand in the air, carefully examining the gold ring on her ring finger. Joohyun constantly scolded her saying she shouldn't use it at any time because it was a clear sign of weakness, a point that criminals would attack relentlessly once they discovered it. Sooyoung couldn't help it, for her that ring was her most precious amulet. The most lethal weapon to protect herself from danger "With all this Gamble thing, I haven't called Joohyun by her name for months... we can't take a break without that idiot making our lives impossible"  
  
Wendy sighed and ran a hand through her reddish hair, then her noble and carefree heart made a proposal to the dark-haired girl.  
  
"Why don't you take your night off? I'm sure you could use it, I can take care of the research for a day"  
  
Sooyoung opened her eyes in surprise, her face covered with an incredulous smile while shaking her head from side to side denying the proposal she had just heard. Wendy frowned after not finding the fun stuff in all of this  
  
"I couldn't unnie"  
  
"I'll be fine, it's nothing I haven't seen before and the boss said the reinforcements are available to anyone-"  
  
"It's not that" the younger girl leaned on her desk without caring if she mistreated all the files or the sheets that were placed on top of it. She stared at the photograph framed in a thin frame of black wood: Joohyun was hugging her around the waist, her head resting on her chest while Sooyoung smiled brightly and answered the hug with an arm around her wife's shoulders, cheerfully showing to the camera the badge that accredited her as a policeman. They had taken that picture more than two and a half years ago, right after Joohyun proposed marriage to her after graduating from the police academy. That memory made her feel nostalgic with a bit of melancholy in the middle "I know Joohyun would refuse something like that"  
  
"Oh wow, Sooyoungie, now you read minds?" Wendy pretended that she hadn't seen the obvious grimace of the younger girl. "How are you so sure without trying first? I'm sure Joohyun would also like a soft night with you. Many hours focused on the same research will only fry her brain and won't get her anywhere"  
  
"So, what about you, unnie?" Sooyoung pointed an accusing finger at her. "You also have a family waiting for you, don't you?"  
  
Wendy didn't want to answer the younger girl not only to not make her feel bad but also because she couldn't blame her for information that she didn't know about. Sooyoung had not the slightest idea that Wendy had traveled several thousand kilometers here and had left her parents and sister at home, completely forgotten. It isn't as if she'll miss them too much after all... perhaps she could miss her sister but not her parents, not even a little. Both had treated her in a way that a child doesn't deserve parents to treat them. There had been abuse and there had been pain but that was a thing of the past. Wendy was strong now  
  
"I'll be fine, Sooyoung. Nothing will happen to me if I deal with this for a few hours"  
  
Sooyoung looked again at the photograph on her desk and then the ring in her hand. It had become so heavy lately and she wondered if she should have listened to her younger sister's advice that it was difficult to balance the married life and the life of a professional. With a determined face, Sooyoung nodded a couple of times  
  
"Very well. Even so, I should tell Joohyun about this"  
  
"Tell me what?"  
  
The Captain's voice made the two jump on their seats. The redhead pretended to be reviewing the files that Sooyoung had given her while the younger girl just crossed her arms and tried not to say anything else. Professionalism was a necessity right now with such a serious research and she had to put her emotions under control if she wanted Joohyun to keep taking her into account for this process. Joohyun wore her uniform impeccably with every detail highlighted and cared for perfectly, even the hat over her head was extremely well placed. The badge that accredited her as Captain shone with the light as if it was made of gold  
  
"Wendy, I need your help with something" Joohyun carried a couple of folders under her arm and placed them carefully on Wendy's desk, making sure not to spoil the other files and papers that were already there "I know this is selfish but... do you think you can handle the research this night? I'd like to take the night off with Sooyoung"  
  
The younger girl's face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning and she covered her little cry of joy behind an empty folder. Wendy smiled widely as she took the folders that Joohyun had placed on her desk and nodded assurances of herself, perhaps exaggerating her reaction to please her boss. Joohyun only raised an eyebrow at Wendy's reaction, surprised by the little resistance that she had to work overtime. However, she was so tired of making inferences and conclusions throughout the day that she rather not to investigate anymore and leave everything as it was.  
  
"Go ahead, unnie. Both of you deserve rest"  
  
"You have my number for any emergency, use it if something comes up"  
  
"Yep Capitan, whatever you say"  
  
Joohyun turned around and looked briefly at Sooyoung before giving her a slight smile and leaving the office. Once the Captain was out of the range of vision, Sooyoung let out an excited little squeal that Wendy matched almost immediately, the younger girl got up from her chair and ran to the rookie's, wrapping her in a tight hug as she thanked her a thousand times.  
  
Wendy threw a coin in the air.  
  
Dealing with Gamble without anyone's help could be an authentic experience  
  
Joohyun and Sooyoung were resting in the armchair in front of the fireplace that cracked and burned the last batch of wood they had added. Winter was approaching by leaps and bounds and they were beginning to feel the effects of its furious blizzard; Both Joohyun and Sooyoung hated the feeling of cold though they adored the white-covered landscapes in the streets.  
  
They went to dinner at an Italian restaurant after Sooyoung almost begged the Captain since months before to go to that place. The youngest had taken a couple of glasses of wine although they hadn't been enough to get drunk, now her head was lying on top of her wife's lap and she closed her eyes at the feeling of fingers running through her hair and a hand drawing patterns without rest on her back. The silence reigned in the room beyond the noise of the fireplace but it still felt comfortable and calm, is been a long ago time since this moment happened and it felt out of this world  
  
"Thanks for the fancy dinner, baby" Sooyoung spoke with difficulty, sleep and drunkenness began to wreak havoc on her body and she just wanted to rest. Preferably in Joohyun's arms and in front of the fireplace  
  
Joohyun giggled  
  
"I don't think you'll leave me alone if I didn't take you to that place"  
  
The lieutenant matched her lover's laughter and lifted her body completely to sit next to Joohyun on the couch and stare at her. With the reflection of the flames of the fireplace, her beautiful features accentuated and Sooyoung just wanted to kiss her hard, to lose herself in the taste of her lips until she completely forgot the chaos they had to deal with. Sooyoung cupped her face between the palms of her hands and kissed her lips gently, a touch barely enough to soothe her burning need  
  
"I missed you"  
  
Joohyun looked at her with a face full of doubt and even felt worried but eventually understood the meaning beyond those three words  
  
"Me too," the Captain replied in a low, soft voice, enough so only the two of them could hear each other "I missed you like crazy and you have no idea how terrible is to live with that"  
  
Joohyun slowly pushed the younger girl towards the armchair until she was on top of her, joining their lips in brief kiss that later deepened and was controlled by Joohyun not wanting to push Sooyoung towards her limits, taking care as well not to drop all of her weight on her young wife. The lieutenant caressed Joohyun's face fervently before attracting her to another kiss, this time a little more passionate than the previous one, turning it into an ardent struggle of tongues for the total control of the other. Her breathing began to waver and Joohyun stopped the kiss to begin unbuttoning the shirt her wife had chosen for the night and that was the most perfect option she had seen  
  
She went for the third or fourth button of the shirt when she stopped  
  
Sooyoung, who had closed her eyes to surrender to the moment, out of nowhere opened them worrying about the spontaneous reaction she had in the midst of that passionate moment  
  
"Hyun?"  
  
"I'm sorry... I still don't get used to seeing that thing there"  
  
Sooyoung wondered for a moment what was going on until she finally understood her wife's words. On her chest, just below her collarbone, was the scar from a bullet wound. Sooyoung still remembered the blood staining every corner of her uniform and the hysterical sound of the ambulances as they carried her quickly to the hospital for surgery, the horrible pain that ran through her entire body and the panic of uncertainty. Everything happened when in an attempt to kidnap a small business, the officers had called the body of investigations to try and negotiate a rescue with the kidnapper. Things didn't go very well and in the middle of a shooting Sooyoung had been affected  
  
It was a distant memory now but it was still scary for both women  
  
"I don't want you to hold back, fuck me"  
  
Joohyun narrowed her eyes and tried not to moan at those words by her wonderful young wife  
  
Sooyoung went up to give her another deep kiss, loaded with all the feelings she had right now. Normally they took all their sweet time when it came to making love, they worshipped each other and said all kinds of love words to try and make that moment the best of their lives, not forgetting that at the end of the day they were soulmates  
  
"Do you really want that?" Joohyun still doubted, not so much of her words but of her actions  
  
"Just fuck me... please, I need it now"  
  
A particular movement of Joohyun's hand made Sooyoung let out a higher moan and cling to her lover's shoulders. It wasn't enough just to feel her, just to kiss her until they run out of air... she needed to melt in her, mark her skin with the fire at her fingertips  
  
"It's okay" the Captain kissed her cheek "I'll do it"  
  
Lip-biting, messy kisses, dirty words engraved in every curve of Sooyoung's body by the rough caresses of Joohyun's hands, groans, moans, pleas for a faster rhythm and love bites all over their necks. It wasn't the usual way they loved each other but it still was pleasing, satisfying, wonderful because after so long they finally managed to become one again  
  
For a moment the only thing that could be heard in the room was the constant breathing of both interlacing with gasps and moans. Joohyun pulled Sooyoung into a tight hug, delineating the bite on her neck with the tip of her tongue and wiping away the traces of blood left on the pure skin.  
  
Sooyoung took her wife's face in her hands and kissed her hard even when it ended too soon, the air was still not enough inside her lungs  
  
"God... I love you so much" Joohyun whispered after staring at her, as if at any moment she would disappear from her arms and never return. "Forgive me for forgetting you like this, forgive me. You know that work consumes me when it comes to that psychopath"  
  
"You're already with me and that's the only thing that matters to me right now, Hyun. Now is only us, you and me nothing else"  
  
Joohyun sighed, her body began to feel the ravages of such a strong session and now she was tired wishing only to sleep a little before going back to the usual routine but there was something she had to say before disappearing into unconsciousness  
  
"Someday we'll run into Gamble" said the Captain with just a trickle of voice, that tone she used when she needed to control her emotions "I don't care what the higher ups say or the show they want to do... I need you to kill Gamble if you ever find him"  
  
Sooyoung remained silent. She knew very well that they had the order to capture Gamble but not to kill them. The magnified television show that could be created when they managed to capture them would be a gold well for all the higher ranks and the whole Seoul police. If there was no killer... how could they fake their glorious deed? Joohyun's new orders left her in a dilemma, surely if she killed Gamble she could lose her job  
  
It's not like it's very good after all  
  
"Promise me that you will, Sooyoung" Joohyun continued in a soft voice "Is their life against yours. If you doubt even for a second, they won't... just pull the trigger and don't think twice. Please, do it for me"  
  
The younger girl nodded with a smile, caressing her wife's face with the back of her hand. It seemed that Joohyun was even more beautiful when no type of uniform covered her body, when no rank could cover the fragility of her true self.  
  
"I won't doubt, Hyun. Never"  
  
Wendy sighed as she ran her hand through her face, she was exhausted and needed at least two more cups of coffee to survive. Caffeine wasn't a good counselor but she needed that damn drug to be able to continue paying attention to the thousand and one clues she had to look for  
  
Captain Bae told her they had to start with the victims, not the killer. She was right and it was logic after all: They knew Gamble as the back of their hand but the victims? They barely had a handful of information and all of that was information anyone could get with a couple of minutes of deep research in whatever social network the person had.  
  
What if the victims were related to each other? Maybe that would be the first step the rookie should take. Maybe one more drink of caffeine would help…  
  
The noise from her phone made her jump on her seat and growl angrily. She thought she had put the damned thing in silence, she surely forgot that when she remembered that Captain Bae and Sooyoung could call at any time if there was any emergency. With an annoyed sigh, Wendy answered  
  
"Wendy here, what's up?"  
  
"Stop playing the hero, Son" the voice on the other end of the line sounded wicked, cold, deep. It was distorted by an audio program so she couldn't know the gender behind the voice and she could barely understand all the words "Let Bae take care of this, she is the one I want"  
  
Wendy felt her body paralyzed, her limbs weren't able to move even one millimeter. At that moment she completely forgot about the police processes that its theory had taught her and she mentally hit herself a couple of times when she realized that she wasn't supposed to be afraid, she should try to keep that psychopath in line and track the call  
  
"Gamble?"  
  
"What do you want to lose, Son Seungwan? Will you lose your temper like your father every time he drinks? Or do you prefer to stay silent like your mother who pretends to fall off the stairs every weekend as long as your father stays at home?"  
  
The phone creaks in the palm of Wendy's hand  
  
"I'm going to find you"  
  
"That's too cliche and too vague. I need to know what pieces I can play with and right now you're just a pawn... tell Bae that we are going to meet each other very soon and that I don't have any pig left to feed her"  
  
The call was cut off abruptly and lost in the constant tone of a busy telephone. Wendy looked at her phone as if it was haunted with white knuckles after gripping the phone too tight and teeth grinding with contained fury. Gamble had them against the wall, Gamble handled them like chess pieces and they didn't want to move not even a little bit  
  
How did they know about her parents? What kind of thing did they have with Captain Bae? What did they mean with 'pigs'?  
  
Immediately Wendy searched through the drawers of her desk until she found a notebook and quickly began to write the key words of the conversation with her nemesis. All of them were pieces of a messy puzzle that had no shape because Gamble had lost the front cover of the box and had nothing to aim for. Everything was a messy puzzle…  
  
And all of them were pieces of a chess. When would Gamble make the next move?  
  
The next morning, with three cups and a half of coffee in her system, Wendy watched her captain scan the notes in her hands and Sooyoung type something furiously in the keyboard of her own computer, trying to make use of her long tech course and trace the number where Gamble had made the call  
  
"Where are the pictures of the last body?" Joohyun still didn't take her eyes off the notes as she spoke "I need to check something"  
  
Wendy almost flew through the office and took the folder with the photographs of that poor man they found lying in the middle of the old shoe factory. The rookie almost knew all those images by heart and wondered at what moment she would lose her sanity due to the enormous amount of violence flowing through her bloodstream as if it was oxygen. At what point would she start typing 'All work and no play makes Wendy a dull girl?'  
  
Dad didn't want to do it, Wan. If he did, it was because you're a bad girl  
  
Closing her eyes, Wendy threw her darkness overboard. Buried towards the bottom of her brain as it had always been since she could ignore it and stay safe, in a small corner with a solitary light bulb illuminating everything  
  
"Do you see this?" Joohyun pointed at the note the corpse had on the photo, the rookie looked carefully "A pig for another pig, that's what it is. They call me pig but also the guy they killed"  
  
"So…"  
  
"They think those guys they killed aren't different from me" Joohyun sounded cold, without a single bit of fear in her voice. Wendy now saw her as an idol, as the child who meets Superman in person for the first time. Wendy hopes one day she could be half of what the incredible Captain Bae is. Maybe it would be easier for her to escape from the past that ran behind her like a furious train. "Did you investigate anything about the victims?"  
  
"Sure." The rookie ran to her desk and took another folder full of structured profiles so Joohyun could read all the details of what the initial report couldn't say. Joohyun scanned the documents carefully but her concentration was disturbed by Sooyoung's voice  
  
"The phone is public... I won't achieve anything by tracking it"  
  
"No" Joohyun intervened quickly "Check the area around the phone, it can give us some clues. Make notes if you see something strange or some sign that they killed again"  
  
Sooyoung, with her professional status, nodded and continued the work.  
  
Wendy sighed at length, Joohyun placed a hand on her shoulder and matched her sigh though hers sounded more broken, weaker, more tired  
  
"Take a break, okay? You worked all night and now it's our turn. Go home and rest"  
  
Without the strength to fight her idol, Wendy nodded and took her way back home.  
  
Taking the bus was a thousand times better and it would leave her at home in less than ten minutes but that day Wendy chose to walk, the sensation of the morning breeze and the calmness of the city suited her. She felt a little more alive as she got rid of the invisible smell of the dead that permeated her clothes constantly. Her walk took her to a coffee shop because she thought it would be a good idea to drink the fourth cup of coffee and eat something on the way.  
  
The cafe was comfortable, simple. White seats made of leather and crystal tables carefully polished to avoid scratches. The menu was handwritten with chalk on a green blackboard and the counter next to a stained glass window was as well cared for as the tables and the clean floor. Wendy scanned the menu prices in silence as people started to pile up behind her in line. Wendy decided not to ask for anything and just went to sit on an empty table, she needed time to sort herself out. The scent of coffee would help a little to save what was left of her sanity  
  
Maybe half an hour later, Wendy noticed that someone was approaching her and left a jar full of hot chocolate with marshmallows. A combination so strange to her since she was more than 15 years away of its rich taste, it was as if the sweetness of the drink didn't match the bitterness to which she was subjected lately. Looking up, the rookie noticed a woman not very tall in the uniform of the cafe made of dark pants, white blouse and dark brown apron, her hair was a faint blond color barely above the brunette.  
  
Wendy pushed the drink away as she faintly smiled to the girl  
  
"I didn't order anything"  
  
"Don't worry, it's on my own. You looked like you needed it"  
  
The girl smiled excitedly and her eyes were lost between her monolid eyes as if they were crescent moons. Wendy couldn't stop looking at her and she knew that by this point she probably had drool falling dripping from a corner of her mouth and making a fool out of herself.  
  
"My name is Seulgi, by the way"  
  
The days went by one after the other  
  
Gamble took a break. That break most serial killers around the globe had. For more than two weeks there wasn't even a small sign from the psychopath and the detectives used said rest to try and find out more accurate routes that would take to them.  
  
Just now, Sooyoung and Wendy reviewed a couple of reports on the different areas of the city where some witnesses saw suspicious activity. One of the witnesses said that he had seen a hooded person leave a bar, another said that he saw one of the victims for the last time in front of an old clock store, another one tried to act like Gamble and said he belonged to the mafia. None gave information that would contribute something to the nemesis file. They were tired of reviewing reports of megalomaniacs until Joohyun crossed the door with a red folder firmly secured between the thin pale hands  
  
"I found the relationship between the victims" Joohyun extended the reports and photographs of each of the bloody crimes of Gamble on Wendy's desk (for some reason it was the emptiest of them all) and, with a red ink marker, began to draw on each point of her speech "This guy here, Choi Donwoo, the one we found half-rotted was a drinking partner of this other guy called Hwang Jisung, who had his tongue cut off. Those two guys used to be together forever and they got into trouble with the police for being too violent after they drank in addition to illegal gambling"  
  
Sooyoung kept her eyes on Joohyun, as if her wife's expressions were going to give her more than her deductions about the victims could. Wendy pretended that she saw nothing of the interaction but it couldn't go unnoticed, she made an almost superhuman effort to get her attention back to the evidence they showed her.  
  
"The other three guys had no connection with Hwang or Choi. They only knew each other from the same bar but that's the key word, everyone knew each other. That bar was called Pink Zone and is not exactly on the best terms with the law, it had the reputation of being a place where they sell girls as slaves"  
  
Wendy let out a laugh that made both the Captain and the Lieutenant look at her with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Are you going to tell me now that Gamble is some sort of vigilante?"  
  
"No, Gamble has nothing to do with justice. This is a revenge. Both Choi and Hwang did something horrible next to those other three poor idiots"  
  
"We had already ruled out a revenge" Sooyoung claimed  
  
"Look at this" from below all the other papers, Joohyun pulled out a newspaper note "The Pink Zone closed a year before Gamble started killing those guys. Why did it close? The police were investigating the murder of a girl in said place"  
  
Sooyoung smiled from end to end and walked to Joohyun to take her face in her hands and give her a chaste kiss on her cheek, forgetting the supposed professional protocol they should follow without rest. Wendy smiled  
  
"You are a genius!" Exclaimed the Lieutenant "You deserve a promotion"  
  
"We are one step closer to Gamble now thanks to you, unnie" Wendy raised her thumb in a silly gesture "We have to get to work"  
  
The rest of the day was spent grouping the information carefully into different reports and making sure where the new information should start. Wendy returned to walk around the city once her shift ended, she enjoyed the sound of the night breeze and the noise of cars strolling carelessly through the streets with a soft hum. Instead of walking to the bus stop, Wendy found herself walking to the cafe from a few days ago  
  
She had visited that girl again in secret. She took advantage of the hours when the cafe was busiest to be able to check her from afar with great care and review every detail. Thanks to her training and how much she learned from Joohyun, she could now see some details that previously went unnoticed. 'Seulgi' was an extremely gentle girl: she memorized the orders of the frequent clients, she always had that smile on her face, she left some food for the homeless people who came to look for something to survive the day to day, she attended to each one of her clients as if they were part of her family  
  
Not every day Wendy found a woman like her and she wondered if she should be the one who would have to take the first step  
  
Of course, idiot. It must be you!  
  
When Wendy entered the cafe, there was no one left. The sound of the bells in the door alarmed Seulgi who was behind the counter counting the money from the cash register. Without looking up she simply shooed away the client who had entered.  
  
"Sorry, we're closing"  
  
"Really?" Wendy felt more stupid than before "Oh wow... I'll come tomorrow then"  
  
And if it wasn't for Seulgi's curiosity, Wendy would've never confessed  
  
"It's you! "Seulgi exclaimed as she saved the money in the cash register and wiped her hands on her apron, almost running to the girl who was about to open the door. Wendy turned around to look at her with a weak smile, trying to control her anxiousness  
  
"Yeah, hehe. I came to... uhm" Wendy ran a hand through her hair to try and ignore Seulgi's innocent and curious eyes. "I... uhm... do you have free time next weekend?"  
  
Seulgi showed that million-dollar smile that shone the entire room without the need for any single lamp  
  
"I'd love to. Would you like my number so we are in touch?"  
  
"Your number?!" the rookie shrieked as she opened her eyes wide, Seulgi shook her head several times with the smile on her face and pulled her phone from the front bag of her apron covered in coffee and milk stains "Uhm... yeah, yeah! That'll be great"  
  
Seulgi began to dictate each number and Wendy kept them in her heart as the chords of the most powerful piano composition. For the first time she felt fear combined with excitement... it was the first time in her life she felt this way for a person and she prayed to heaven to keep it that way for a long time  
  
But she also prayed that she could keep that happiness safe in some treasure chest and throw the key where no one will ever find it  
  
"So... Seulgi, huh?"  
  
Wendy wanted to bang her head against the desk when she heard Sooyoung. When Satan's spawn had realized Seulgi's existence that moment was her end, she would surely bully her for the rest of her days. And just now that she already got a date!  
  
"Is she your girlfriend, unnie?"  
  
"No, Sooyoung. She is my date for the weekend"  
  
"You're dating! She is your girlfriend!"  
  
"Sooyoung, no! I invited her out yesterday, okay? We are nothing... yet"  
  
Sooyoung erupted in laughter and placed her feet on top of her desk while placing her hands behind her head. If Joohyun saw her in this position right now, she would probably throw her out of work even with a half-solved case. Gamble was still in complete silence and now it was Joohyun who got tired of investigating in records and documents to find out why she wanted to collect revenge  
  
"Joohyun and I have a date over the weekend. Why don't you invite Seulgi, unnie? It'll be fun"  
  
"Oh no." Wendy pouted and crossed her arms across her chest. "I don't want you both to scare her. Seulgi and I are fine like that"  
  
"Come on, unnie!" Sooyoung immediately demanded "I just want to know her a little bit"  
  
"Okay" the rookie surrendered and dropped her arms to the side of her body as if she had no other options available, she looked like a rag doll as she hung from the chair "I'll tell Seulgi that you two will go... but don't ruin it! I don't want to die a virgin!"  
  
That's how Wendy, Seulgi, Sooyoung and Joohyun  
ended up in a pretty fancy restaurant in the center of the city. It was almost ten o'clock when they had arrived at the site and now they waited patiently for the waiter to take their orders, the place was absolutely full  
  
Joohyun sat next to Sooyoung and Wendy next to Seulgi who kept her manners almost exaggerated and looked so funny that the rookie almost wants to explode into laughter. It was Joohyun who first spoke, behaving like a mother concerned about her children and the performance they had in school  
  
"So what do you do, Seulgi?"  
  
"I'm a barista in a cafe" the girl answered with a polite smile "That's where I met Wendy. One day I gave her a jar of hot chocolate and since then she never stopped visiting me until a few days ago when she asked me to go out with her "  
  
Joohyun and Sooyoung laughed out loud  
  
"Slow as always" expressed the captain "What a shame"  
  
Wendy wanted the earth to open and take her far away from there. Seulgi seemed to notice the enormous discomfort of her date so she put a plan B in action, her perfect strategy to save the night of a disaster, the patent was in process.  
  
"I should feel intimidated, everyone here is a cop" Seulgi let out a slight giggle "And one of them is Captain Bae"  
  
Sooyoung clung to her wife's arm and smiled sweetly as Joohyun leaned forward to kiss her forehead briefly and take her hand between hers. Wendy noticed as Seulgi paid special attention to the two rings resplendent on their fingers.  
  
"Have you ever done something that you regretted after, Captain?" Seulgi asked, still looking at the rings and hands clasped in. Her face had drawn a smile as gentle as Sooyoung had a few minutes ago.  
  
"The road to Captain isn't easy... on the way I had to arrest many and even kill a few to continue. But the only thing I regret is something that happened a year ago" Joohyun took a deep breath while Sooyoung helped her by caressing her hand "I wasn't a captain and I had no authority. The department received a call from a girl crying while asking for help, saying she had been kidnapped and that her sister should be collecting the money to rescue her, she had managed to flee from her captors for a few minutes to make the call. Just when I was about to track the call, the then Captain of the department cut the communication... he said that just a few minutes ago they had received a similar joke call and that he was fed up but something told me that this call was real, is been on my mind since then"  
  
The silence reigned at the table for a few moments and was interrupted by the waiter who came to them to take their orders. They asked for something simple and without a complicated name. When the waiter left, Joohyun continued, perhaps finding enough strength  
  
"The captain was dismissed shortly and I replaced him... he was my father so everyone believed that I would be just as good as he was"  
  
Seulgi covered her mouth with both hands to contain the surprise. Wendy tried not to do the same at that surprise, she had no idea that the former captain was also a Bae and that he was closely related to Joohyun  
  
"That happened a year ago, the time goes by and I can only hope that that girl is okay"  
  
The rest of the dinner was affected by the conversation, even so the topics of conversation were plentiful and Wendy was comfortable with the company not only of Seulgi but also of her companions  
  
Wendy and Seulgi were now at the front door of Seulgi's small apartment.  
  
"I hope you enjoyed dinner, Seulgi" Wendy smiled sincerely as she looked at the excited face of the girl holding the knob on the door of her house "Joohyun and Sooyoung are great"  
  
"Definitely" Seulgi smiled and gave a brief step to the front "You are too" that step had only been a breakthrough by the girl who left a brief kiss on Wendy's lips. Without making it too passionate, it was more like a childish kiss but it still left Wendy's heart thumping like crazy inside her rib cage  
  
Wendy looked at Seulgi once more: her cheeks flushed, her smile wide and cheerful. She looked absolutely beautiful and the rookie had to restrain her urge to kiss her again.  
  
"See you next weekend?" Seulgi asked  
  
"Of course"  
  
But that weekend didn't come  
  
Gamble made its move earlier  
  
The department received a report that Gamble was in that old factory where they found the rotten corpse several weeks ago. Joohyun, Sooyoung and Wendy didn't hesitate to take their best weapons and tools and move at virtually the speed of light in order to get there before Gamble heard the sirens  
  
When they arrived at the factory everything was covered in darkness and the only light that filtered was the moon between the windows. Enough to let the entire police team see a combination of shadows moving through the walls in absolute silence. Until then there wasn't a single sign that there was someone else in that place  
  
Until Sooyoung saw someone running to the back door of the place  
  
"There they are!" Sooyoung shot her gun furiously in that direction without any result.The way to the back door was blocked by eternal rows of metal boxes and boxes full of shoes that made a whole narrow and claustrophobic labyrinth, it was difficult to take an accurate shot when there were so many difficulties involved. Sooyoung ran to chase after what she had seen in the middle of the maze.  
  
"Sooyoung, stop!" Joohyun ran behind the lieutenant with her own gun in hand, Wendy followed her closely with the rest of the men they had brought as reinforcements.  
  
Sooyoung was lost in the labyrinth but the trail of blood on the ground indicated that she had hurt Gamble, they were injured and it was only a matter of time before they came out of their hiding spot. The lieutenant kept running, listening to the footsteps of her companions at a great distance and she knew that perhaps they was a few meters away from her and the support.  
  
The blood trail stopped at a corner and, after turning, Sooyoung met the one they had chased in a macabre game of cat and mouse. Gamble was locked in the labyrinth, they run into a dead end. Sooyoung's heart beat fast, pumping adrenaline to every corner of her body and detonating all the alarms inside her brain.  
  
She remembered Joohyun's words and raised her gun. It was either her or Gamble . Her life against theirs  
  
But the moonlight shone on Gamble's face and Sooyoung couldn't pull the trigger... Sooyoung knew Gamble, she had seen their face before  
  
Her life against theirs  
  
And Sooyoung doubted too much  
  
She didn't have time to think twice  
  
An accurate shot pierced the Lieutenant's skull who immediately collapsed to the ground with a loud thud and her eyes closed. No chance to say goodbye, no chance to scream the identity of that killer  
  
The killer climbed the metal boxes quickly with the agility of a cat and left, leaving behind that massacre of only one person  
  
Joohyun and Wendy finally reached the end of the labyrinth. Wendy was the first one to react while she put her hands to her face and threw her gun aside  
  
"Oh, my God! Oh no! Sooyoung! Oh my god, Sooyoung!"  
  
Joohyun was completely silent. She didn't cry, she didn't scream, she didn't swear revenge or clung to the dead body. She only fell to her knees in front of her wife's corpse and stared at her calm expression with her eyes closed and the pool of blood behind her head growing larger as time passed.  
  
The sound of gunfire and the smell of gunpowder were two things Wendy would never forget. But there was a third one that she forgot to add  
  
And that was death  
  
Joohyun entered the hospital morgue in absolute silence. Her police uniform was still full of blood after she carried Sooyoung into the ambulance that brought her to the hospital. She had only arrived to be declared dead instantly, a victim of the shot that stopped all her brain processes  
  
The captain's legs barely answered as she walked through the horrible cold place to the iron bed where they had the body of the one who made her so happy. Joohyun finally approached the blanket that covered the body and slowly withdrew it, as if she was removing the skin of a snake. Her hands trembled with fury and she didn't know if it was due to cold or panic  
  
After removing the blanket there she was, her Sooyoung, with the beauty of a goddess that she always had, with her graceful figure and her warm heart. The hole from the shot in her forehead made the image crack like a mirror thrown to the ground forcibly and the scar from the shot in her shoulder teased Joohyun with laughter, as if telling her that wouldn't be the only mark she would have. Joohyun now trembled all over her body and took her wife's hand carefully to remove the wedding ring that belonged to her, inside the ring were engraved the acronym 'BJH' as a sign that she would always take care of her. Sooyoung herself had told her that she always saw that ring as her most precious amulet  
  
But she hadn't been able to take care of her.  
  
Joohyun held Sooyoung's hand gently but squeezed it tightly. She expected to hear her laugh telling her that she was being cheesy again, she expected to see that smile full of pride and love for herself.  
  
"I told you to pull the damn trigger, didn't I? You were always such a rebel"  
  
The Captain felt her voice break into pieces and tears stinging her eyes like angry wasps  
  
"Stop it... please, Sooyoung... you can't leave me like this. Don't leave me"  
  
She couldn't fool herself, Joohyun knew she wouldn't come back no matter how much she claimed for her  
  
And that's why she cried on top of the corpse when she realized that nothing would be the same and that now, her life partner, would never call her by her name again. She spent an hour and a half there until Wendy went for her, telling her that they should leave because there were more people inside that morgue waiting to be identified  
  
Sooyoung's funeral was two days later, there were only friends and family although the press was biting its nails for making a show out of Sooyoung's death. Joohyun was sure that the higher ranks agreed with the macabre publicity. The members of the rest of the department had offered to work as a guard on the outside while everything finished  
  
Sooyoung's parents and siblings had refused to sit next to Joohyun. They blamed her of being the one who had killed her by taking her to that place full of violence behind that psychopath who now was surely jumping in excitement.  
  
Joohyun was sitting in the front row of seats. The coffin with Sooyoung's body was in front of her full of flower arrangements and messages of encouragement that asked the now widowed woman to take life by the horns and try to bring the culprit home.  
  
Wendy was standing at the furthest part of the room. Her eyes had already tired of so much crying, she was already tired of suffering and praying for the pain to go away but no one ever paid attention to her, she couldn't get used to the memory of a smiling Sooyoung be stained by the blood that came from the bullet wound in her head. Seulgi was standing by Wendy's side, one arm behind her shoulders giving her some comfort in the middle of the storm. At least that could help  
  
The burial officials suddenly said they would take Sooyoung to the burial ground. Joohyun stood up even before the claims of Sooyoung's family who were crying out so that she shouldn't be near the coffin no matter how close they were. Wendy was about to hug Seulgi to mourn on her shoulder when suddenly, the girl leaned on top of her and kissed her forehead  
  
"Forgive me" Seulgi whispered with her lips over the soft skin of her recent lover "I'm so sorry"  
  
Wendy widened her eyes as she watched Seulgi walk up to Joohyun, give her a big hug and place both hands on her shoulders before showing her right hand  
  
The hand was covered by a bandage full of blood  
  
Sooyoung had hurt Gamble before she died  
  
Wendy felt everything spinning around her, everything turned into a violent slow motion and her feet weren't enough to withstand the pressure of her body. The guards ran to Joohyun who had drawn her gun and aimed at Seulgi with eyes full of mad fury, all the frightened people trying to leave the place and then Seulgi kneeling on the ground with her hands raised in the air while Joohyun pointed her gun at her and she recited the Miranda rights with a cruelty that was scary  
  
"Kang Seulgi, you're arrested for the crime of homicide…" the Captain voice faded inside Wendy's mind. She only had one thing left, echoing furiosly  
  
Seulgi was Gamble  
  
The room was barely lit up by a solitary light bulb in the ceiling, it gave out a light of orange color quite tenuous that didn't allow to look beyond a black table with two folding chairs. One of the chairs was occupied by Seulgi, the other by Joohyun  
  
They hadn't said a word. Joohyun looked at Seulgi with fire rising from her pupils, they had been silent for more than an hour and Joohyun knew that it was because she still couldn't control the demon inside her that demanded she killed the beast right before her eyes. Seulgi noticed that Joohyun had a ring on her ring finger and another one was hung with a silver chain on her neck.  
  
"It went out of control" Seulgi started "I didn't want to kill your wife, she was completely innocent... but it was me or her, I had to shoot"  
  
Joohyun felt her blood boiling at those words but the only thing that happened was her eyes filling with tears and one of them silently falling down her cheeks while Seulgi looked down  
  
"Why? Why did you do it?"Joohyun said through closed teeth.  
  
Seulgi remained silent  
  
"It was a revenge" Seulgi answered after a few impatient minutes. "Those guys had killed my sister a year before, Kang Yerim... the girl who called the department and your father hung the call. They kidnapped her, they raped her and then they strangled her in the damn Pink Zone... tell me Captain Bae, why did they dismiss your father from his position?"  
  
"I ask the questions here, Kang Seulgi. Shut your fucking mouth"  
  
"Because he was in charge of that stupid bar. That's why he didn't want to help my sister, it wasn't a prank call but his ass was so involved in corruption and prostitution that he rather use my sister as a scapegoat... my sister suffered the last moments of her life being abused by those assholes" Seulgi clenched her fists on the table and punched said object "She was only 19 years old!"  
  
Joohyun took out her gun from her waist and loaded it, aiming straight at Seulgi's forehead, right in the middle of her eyes. As she had done with Sooyoung  
  
"Sooyoung was 22. What's your damn point?"  
  
Seulgi looked down suddenly, as if a suffocating air of shame filled her. Joohyun didn't take the gun away from her forehead and instead sank it a little more on the thin skin  
  
"How did you know about Wendy's past?"  
  
"I had to investigate her... she ruined my plans when she came from nowhere to your team, I always thought that your father was still in charge and that's why I thought about having revenge, it wasn't until after the double date we had when I realized that it wasn't your fault, I went to the factory to look for evidence so I could get imprisoned, I had already fulfilled my purpose, then you guys arrived and that tragedy happened"  
  
"A tragedy you made, disgusting psychopath" Joohyun withdrew the gun but still kept her finger on the trigger "What about Wendy? Did you use her and play with her just because? To have more stuff for your wet dreams? Just like the image of my wife's corpse?  
  
"No! No! At first I just wanted to use her but afterwards I fell in love with her, genuinely... what I feel for Wendy is true, that's why I also thought about giving myself up, I wanted to reduce my sentence and be with her"  
  
Joohyun placed the gun in its holster at the waist and then pulled out a small recording device from her front pocket. She had been documenting everything since the beginning  
  
"The judge will be in charge of you now, Kang Seulgi"  
  
The Captain was about to leave the room when she suddenly stopped  
  
"Days ago you asked me if I had something I regretted and now I know what that is" Joohyun turned to look at Seulgi with her eyes burning with hatred "I regret not having blown your brains out that night at the restaurant"  
  
Saying this, Joohyun went out and left Seulgi alone, in deep darkness  
  
Wendy walked the corridors of the cells in the prison of the police department. Surprisingly they were alone except for one at the end of the others, isolated with thick metal bars stuck together and secured with a huge padlock at the entrance. Everything was quiet except for the buzzing of the old neon lamps that were constantly blinking  
  
Inside was Seulgi, her body lying on a bed that seemed to be made out of concrete, the sheets were dirty and smelled bad probably never been washed since the last time someone stayed there. In the rest of the cell there was only a toilet, a sink and a table with the bible... a blatant joke by the law to try and reform criminals. Seeing Wendy, Seulgi got up immediately and almost ran to the bars to cling to them without getting too close. The now not so rookie had red eyes from having cried so much and her face was emaciated by fatigue, sleepless hours and probably lack of food  
  
"Joohyun told me everything" Wendy sighed as she watched Seulgi cling to the bars "Even what you feel for me"  
  
"I'm not lying" Seulgi complained and stuck her body to the bars, as if that helped her to reaffirm her point "I really fell in love with you... I didn't want to cause you this suffering, it wasn't Sooyoung who I wanted to kill. I just wanted those bastards... them and nothing else"  
  
"When I was a girl, my father was an alcoholic. When he was in a good mood he only came home, tripped over the chairs and broke his nose when he fell" Wendy started without taking off her gaze from Seulgi "He beat me and my sister, kicking the hell out of my mother and leaving her to her own luck for days... but do you know what was the worst? That my mother always forgive him because my father told her that it was the alcohol and that he loved her"  
  
Seulgi remained silent even though she already knew Wendy's story by small portions  
  
"You're exactly the same," Wendy hissed through her teeth. "You ended up hurting people, a lot, and to tell you the truth... I don't give a damn what you did to those bastards, they deserved it. But Sooyoung? She was just a girl, a girl who loved her wife and her job, a girl who spared your life Seulgi. She had the order to kill you and send you to hell but she hesitated to pull the trigger and now she is dead"  
  
Seulgi slid through the bars until her knees without strength touched the ground, the weight of a single crime suffocated her as Atlas is suffocated by the world on his shoulders and she could no longer stand, her body and mind had a limit and that limit was there, in front of her: Son Seungwan known to the word as Wendy  
  
"I also fell in love with you" Wendy confessed, her eyes on the ground and her voice tight in her throat "What a pain to think that I thought you were for me... I'm sorry, Kang Seulgi"  
  
Seulgi reached her hand to touch Wendy but she took a step back and just looked at the hand of the killer as if it was something monstrous  
  
There wasn't much difference now  
  
"Your trial will start in two days. See you there"  
  
With firm steps, Wendy withdrew from the cell and lost herself in the silence of her soles echoing over the newly cleaned floor. Her mind was only filled with Seulgi, so much that she could no longer sleep without seeing her growing smile and her eyes full of innocence only to be stained with the cruel image of blood and death, Sooyoung's coffin being covered in soil while Joohyun was traveling in a patrol with Seulgi in the back seat  
  
Seulgi had been her best bet  
  
And unfortunately, nobody won anything


	16. On Your Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmates AU. After a rough one night stand, Seulgi finds herself between a rock and a hard place

Any damage you do to your soulmate (whether physical or emotional) will appear in your body instead of theirs  
  
"Dammit…"  
  
Seulgi cursed under her breath as she looked at the huge bite mark on her neck. It covered a rather large portion of her neck, it had a shade of purple and red and each time she ran her fingertips over it hurt like hell.  
  
"What's wrong, unnie?" Joy, her best friend, asked while lying on the older woman's bed looking at her. She was supposedly waiting for Seulgi to get dressed for breakfast before going to work but Seulgi suddenly stopped in front of her mirror watching something with an special interest  
  
"Look at this shit" Seulgi pointed to the marks on her neck "I'm completely sure the girl last night didn't leave a single mark... what the hell is this?!"  
  
Joy let out a laugh and approached her friend to take a closer look at the wound. It really looked grotesque... Joy, however, was a little more surprised when she realized there were more bitemarks around Seulgi's shoulders and jawline. Even on the back of her neck. Not caring about her friend's reaction, Joy started laughing more and placed her arm behind Seulgi's shoulders.  
  
"It seems that you met a vampire, unnie" Joy made Seulgi look at all the marks on her reflection in the mirror "Maybe the alcohol didn't let you see what she was doing... look what she did to you!. It looks like her gums were itchy"  
  
Seulgi opened her eyes wide, surprised to look at all the marks on her body. How much alcohol did she had in her system so she couldn't remember that? Fuck... she could remember she'd been quite rough with that girl of beautiful eyes and light brown hair, she had a beautiful body and her own lust combined with her drunkenness. She couldn't keep her hands for herself and they ended up making love in a hotel room, no... they ended up fucking. Hard  
  
Seulgi remembered how her hands drew patterns on the girl's thighs while her mouth worked wonders between her legs. She remembered placing bitemarks all over her back while the girl was in all fours on the bed, roughly making way through her insides with two fingers. Seulgi remembered she was moaning near her ear and she was so exhausted by the time they finished  
  
So why the hell she couldn't remember how the fuck those marks ended on her body? The girl looked pretty cold on the outside but in the sheets she became very submissive and moaned in the pleasure Seulgi gave her. Now she was confused and refused to even try to understand.  
  
Joy pulled at her unnie cheeks and gave her a light pat on the butt.  
  
"Well, tiger... I think you'll have to carry a scarf for a few days until the vampire's marks disappear"  
  
"Oh fuck. It's going to be so uncomfortable to go to work with that stuff. Fuck, fuck, fuck... I knew I shouldn't have fucked that girl"  
  
Joy let out another laugh  
  
"Oh come on, unnie, knowing how possesive you can get I'm sure she isn't that different from you. Let's just get breakfast, okay?"  
  
Seulgi had the biggest annoyed expression in the world as she drove her truck with a scarf around her neck and Joy teased her about her bad luck while singing along to some song of BoA. Suddenly, Joy stopped mocking her and paid attention to her phone, after a few minutes of texting with someone they were about to reach the place where they usually had breakfast, Joy spoke again  
  
"Is it okay if one of my friends comes to breakfast with us unnie? She's late for work and she's is in a hurry"  
  
"It's okay with me, but this damn mark on my neck is going to scream 'hey, guess what, this bitch fucked like a rabbit last night!'"  
  
Joy laughed out loud  
  
"Get over it, unnie, I don't think she's going to say anything"  
  
As soon as they entered the restaurant, things lined up perfectly so Seulgi would remain a complete idiot in front of Joy's friend  
  
Because that friend turned out to be the girl she had fucked the previous night  
  
Seulgi almost choked with her coffee when she saw the seductive looking woman of a beautiful body dressed in a knee-length skirt and a white blouse next to a set of heels. Damn, Seulgi felt like a hormonal teenager again  
  
Their eyes met. Seulgi was full of surprise while the other woman just smiled  
  
"Unnie, meet Wendy. She studied with me in college and since then we've been good friends. Wendy-unnie, she's Seulgi, my best friend"  
  
'Wendy' reached her hand towards Seulgi and the latter, somewhat clumsily, grabbed her hand. Wendy had a malicious smirk on her face and the tension between them was so great that Joy realized immediately.  
  
"What's the matter with you two? Have you met before?"  
  
"No" Seulgi answered dryly and quickly "I haven't meet her before"  
  
At least not with clothes  
  
"It's a pleasure, Seulgi" Wendy got rid of her smirk to show her a more formal and gentle smile "Joy told me a lot about you, it's a pleasure to meet you"  
  
Seulgi swallowed hard. When it started to feel so hot? It was surely the damn scarf fault  
  
"Well, let's have lunch" Wendy clapped a little to get attention and sat right next to Joy at the table "I'm starving and I'm late"  
  
"What the hell happened for you to fall asleep?" Joy asked with a raised eyebrow "You always go to bed early"  
  
"I have no idea. There was something inside me that wouldn't let me sleep"  
  
Seulgi quickly took the cup of coffee to her lips to try and hide her smile. Wendy had an enviable talent to turn things on with just her words and poor Joy was in the middle of the fire without knowing anything.  
  
Just by a mere strike of fate, Joy got up from the table to fix her makeup and left Seulgi completely alone at the table with Wendy. Both stared at each other, none said a single word but lust burned fiercely in their eyes. Seulgi was grateful that her tolerance for alcohol had increased and she could remember the most important things of the previous night because it was something she wanted to keep forever.  
  
"What are you thinking about, Seulgi?" Wendy leaned over the table and looked at her with flirtatious eyes. "Is there something that worries you?"  
  
"Yes" Seulgi didn't remove her serious look "How the hell did you hide all the marks I left in your neck?"  
  
Wendy giggled, bringing her hand to her lips to hide her smile  
  
"Makeup, darling. It does wonders"  
  
"I guess I should try harder then"  
  
"Ah yes, you should be careful Seulgi. Next time there'll be no scarf that can cover you"  
  
Seulgi shallowed and was about to speak again when Joy returned to the table and started talking about how disgusting the bathroom was and how horrible it looked. Soon they finished their lunch and the time came when they should leave  
  
"Unnie can give you a ride, Wendy-unnie" Joy told her friend as they were in the restaurant parking lot  
  
"Don't worry, I'll get a cab. I'm really in a hurry and I don't want to take more time out of you two"  
  
"As you wish" Joy shrugged "See you then, unnie"  
  
"See you Joyie, Seulgi-ssi"  
  
Seulgi just nodded and raised her hand to do a quick goodbye gesture as she watched Wendy walk quickly towards an empty taxi parked in a red light. Joy started talking about the projects that should be delivered at the office and all the information that she is supposed to write and prepare for the next meeting of her boss. Seulgi could only think of Wendy and the taste of her skin, the flirtatious looks and the passionate kisses.  
  
A few minutes after, while Seulgi was parking her car outside the office where she worked, she heard the sound of her phone informing her that she had a new message. The number wasn't registered and when she opened the message, her face slowly distorted into a smile  
  
This is my number, babe. Do you think we can meet again? Same time, same place  
  
Seulgi read the message twice before sending an answer  
  
I would love to  
  
And that was how she spent the whole day thinking about what kind of 'lesson' she would give to Wendy so she wouldn't leave a single bitemark on her body once more. Seulgi was waiting for the night as if it was Christmas and Joy couldn't ignore the expression of happiness that Seulgi had engraved on her face as soon as they left the office. It had been a long and tedious day, with many things to sort and plan but for some reason Seulgi was in a good mood  
  
"Hey, unnie" Joy ran a hand through her hair. "Do you want to go to dinner?"  
  
"I'm sorry Joyie. I can't today"  
  
"Ahhh, now I get everything" Joy raised her eyebrows in a suggestive way while smiling at her best friend "You're going to sleep with someone, right? Unnie, come on. You don't have to hide that kind of thing from me"  
  
"Hey, I'm sorry okay?" Seulgi shrugged. "It's not like I felt very comfortable saying 'Hey Joy, I'm going to fuck another girl right a day after they left me full of marks!'. You are my best friend but I don't think you feel eager to know my sex life"  
  
Joy could only laugh at Seulgi's comment while they got inside her unnie truck  
  
Seulgi first went to drop her best friend at her house with the promise to pick her up the next day to go to work, she then drove to the hotel she visited the night before. She could barely remember the correct address or the buildings and places around it. In her mind everything looked like a set of shadows but nothing had a specific shape (except for Wendy, of course) however, she still had some healthy parts in her brain and that made her arrive safely to the hotel.  
  
It wasn't a very luxurious place but neither was it a place full of cockroaches and insects. It looked comfortable and the reception had a nice design. Seulgi approached the boy behind the desk and asked for a room to her name, thinking that maybe it was best to wait for Wendy in the comfort of the room instead of just staying to admire the design of the hotel. However, her surprise was great when she realized that there was a room reserved with her name  
  
"That can't be it" Seulgi looked at the computer screen where reservations were recorded "I only ordered a room last night, not today"  
  
"Well, someone came before you and asked me if a person with your name came to ask for a room then I should tell her that it was already reserved"  
  
Seulgi raised an eyebrow and then smiled full of confidence. She apologized to the boy at the reception and went up the stairs to the second floor of the hotel where the room was supposed to be. She walked down the dimly lit corridor to the last door and slowly opened the piece of wood, as if she were in a horror movie instead of about to enter a room.  
  
But behind the door Wendy wasn't dressed in seductive clothes while waiting in bed, nor had a series of sadomasochistic instruments on a table. She was actually lying on the bed with one of her arms raised above her head as she watched the repetition of a variety show on the worn-out room television.  
  
Seulgi couldn't help but laugh at that ‘shocking’ surprise  
  
Wendy immediately turned her head around and made a sign with her finger for the woman at the door to come closer. Seulgi walked to the bed and lay on one side, watching a scene from the program  
  
"So?" Seulgi spoke as she tried to contain her laughter. "Did you rent a room just to watch TV?"  
  
"Oh my God, Seulgi. Of course I booked the room to fuck but have you ever heard that talking is also part of the foreplay? Geez ... you are definitely thinking with something else that isn't your head"  
  
Seulgi let out a slight laugh and rested her head one of her hands  
  
"You're a pretty special case, Wendy"  
  
"Is there something wrong with wanting to know you more?"  
  
Everything is wrong with you wanting to know me more  
  
Seulgi wanted to answer but pretended not to hear anything while watching the program on the television. Seulgi thought since the previous day that she would have a merely sexual relationship with Wendy, she wasn't looking to go out on a date. Hell, a hotel and a variety show definitely made the stupidest date of all time  
  
"I didn't think you were interested in me" Seulgi answered and she felt stupid, of course Wendy was interested in her. Why the hell would she get her number then?  
  
Wendy giggled  
  
"Well, I am"  
  
Suddenly the television went off, Seulgi turned her head to look for what happened and found that Wendy's face was a few inches away from hers. Her dark eyes shone with excitement and Seulgi found herself diverting her gaze to her lips  
  
Soon Wendy closed the distance between them and joined their lips in a deep kiss. Wendy wrapped her hands around Seulgi's neck and entangled her fingers in her hair, pulling it a bit as she sought access to her current lover's mouth with her tongue. Seulgi immediately allowed her to enter but demanded to be the one in control of the kiss. The amount of passion in the kiss made Seulgi scared  
  
Seulgi made a quick movement with her body and left Wendy under her. Her hands began to caress her sides and to undo each of the buttons of her blouse without detaching herself from the kiss. God, Wendy's lips could become so addictive, Seulgi was beginning to think that she wouldn't dare to kiss anyone else after this night.  
  
She left Wendy's blouse half-removed and instead slid one of her hands under her skirt. Creating meaningless patterns on the soft skin of her thighs and listening as Wendy couldn't contain some sighs with her name. Seulgi decided to take revenge for the previous night: she broke the kiss and went down to her neck to leave a rough bitemark  
  
"Ahh" Wendy writhed under her body "S-Seulgi… what are you doing?"  
  
Seulgi completely ignored her prayers and kept biting until she felt her teeth cross the thin layer of skin and a slight copper taste filled her mouth. For some strange reason, she was beginning to feel a sharp twinge in her neck...was Wendy biting her? She doesn't care for the moment, too immersed in her world of desire to think that surely the next day she would have to use a scarf again  
  
Once she was satisfied with her work of art, she ran her tongue over it to try and soothe the pain that was surely there. Wendy tangled her fingers in her hair again and let out a moan that went straight to Seulgi's crotch  
  
"That really hurt" Wendy mumbled weakly  
  
"Is a little revenge for what you did yesterday" Seulgi smiled  
  
"What the hell did I do to you?"  
  
Seulgi returned to join their lips in another passionate kiss and now it was her who started the battle to dominate each other. Finally she realized that her hypothesis was true: Wendy seemed to have control of things but as soon as she started to feel pleasure she collapsed and let Seulgi give her everything she had to give her  
  
What a pillow princess  
  
After a couple of minutes of kisses and caresses, Wendy was completely naked on the bed. Squeezing the sheets tightly after Seulgi pushed two of her fingers into her center with tenderness. The feeling of being filled little by little was something that drove Wendy crazy and she just wanted to feel more of that, she didn't care if she ended up coming in a minute. She just wanted to feel Seulgi completely inside her body  
  
And apparently, after all, they were truly soulmates because Seulgi started to move her hand gently before taking a step and fasten her pace. Returning to the roughness of the previous night  
  
Wendy knew that she shouldn't be having these thoughts now, she should be moaning and biting her lips or squeezing the sheets to the point of ripping them. Wendy shouldn't be thinking that she finally found the person she was destined to spend the rest of her days with after so long looking for her, she shouldn't think about how the hell she was going to let Seulgi know when she was clearly not interested in it.  
  
Wendy realized everything in the morning after she had sex with Seulgi for the first time. She had felt how Seulgi framed her whole body with bites and scratches but for some reason her skin was completely clean as she looked at herself in the mirror and the only mark Wendy had was the bite she gave to Seulgi near her jaw…  
  
It was assumed that no one, ever, could hurt their soulmate. Whenever one of the pair tried to hurt the other, the mark or scar would appear on their own body.  
  
This was the least romantic way in which Wendy had imagined things: she always dreamed she would meet them in a park, in a cafeteria, maybe even in line to buy movie tickets. It never crossed her mind that it would be in a bar, half drunk fucking eacj other late at night in a hotel room  
  
Seulgi hadn't noticed anything?  
  
Wendy lost the notion of time. Maybe they spent hours or just minutes that felt too good and seemed like whole days. By the time she regained her perception of time, a moan ripped her throat and her back turned into a perfect arch on the bed as a sign of the strong orgasm that just run through her body and left her feeling like jelly. She was breathing rapidly while her heart was lashing furiously in her rib cage and her half-open eyes could only look at Seulgi's mischievous smile.  
  
"Don't pass out now" Seulgi whispered near her ear "We have all night"  
  
Wendy lost the count after the third orgasm  
  
And in the morning she woke up to the sound of a person cursing in the bathroom of the room.  
  
Wendy sat on the bed, covering herself with the sheets while trying to orient herself in time and space. Suddenly Seulgi quickly left the bathroom, almost enraged, she only had the pants that supposedly went flying the previous night and a white blouse without buttoning. On her neck was the violent bitemark she gave to Wendy last night  
  
"Can you explain to me when the fuck did you do this?" She spoke with a strong voice  
  
The girl in bed only covered herself more with the sheets  
  
"Seulgi... I didn't do anything"  
  
"Oh sure. Then I did it to myself, right? I'm not going crazy, Wendy. I'm sure it was me who made this mark to you!"  
  
Seulgi ran a hand through her own hair in a frustrated way. Could it be that she still couldn't realize anything? Wendy let out a long sigh and signaled Seulgi to sit on the edge of the bed. Maybe it was time to explain everything in great detail  
  
"Seulgi you... you really did that to yourself"  
  
Silence  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"Every time you bite or hurt me, that mark appears on your body but not on mine"  
  
"That's impossible, Wendy. For that to happen, you and I should be-"  
  
Seulgi couldn't finish her sentence because she interrupted herself. She opened her mouth to say something more but not a word came out of her lips.  
  
"That can't be"  
  
Wendy nodded and, as if the other girl needed more evidence, she used the long fingernail of her index finger to leave a furious scratch on Seulgi's forearm. Seulgi could feel how the nail was tearing a bit of her skin but the mark didn't appear, instead, Wendy's forearm showed the mark and a small amount of blood  
  
Seulgi jumped to get away from the bed as if she had just seen the most amazing magic trick  
  
"It can't be" Seulgi muttered one more time "You are... my soul mate"  
  
"Yes Seulgi. You and I were destined to meet"  
  
"So did you know?" Seulgi tone of voice suddenly rose "Did you know that I was your soul mate and that's why you wanted to meet here again? Is that why you sent the message to Joy in the morning?"  
  
"It's not what you think" Wendy couldn't finish  
  
"Explain me then!"  
  
"I only knew that we were soulmates but I didn't know your name nor that Joy was your best friend. All of that was coincidence Seulgi"  
  
"Why did you want to meet again?"  
  
"Because I wanted to know you"  
  
Seulgi buttoned her blouse again and looked for her shoes to put on. She was about to leave and Wendy didn't know how he should answer, for some reason she felt like crying and a strong tightness in her chest  
  
"Listen, Wendy" Seulgi spoke suddenly. "I don't believe in that 'soulmate' shit, okay? For me that stuff of eternal love and fate doesn't exist and I'm not interested. I don't want to have a relationship with you. I don't want to be your friend and I definitely don't want to have sex again... fuck, if I could go back in time I really wish I hadn't met you"  
  
Wendy bit her lip hard to keep herself from crying  
  
Seulgi left the hotel room slamming the door and cursing under her breath at the stupid irony of things. She had only been looking for a night of pleasure and ended up knowing her supposed most important person in her life... all of that was a lie  
  
That was what she believed  
  
But then…  
  
Why did she feel a strong tightness in her chest and a terrible need to cry? Why did she feel disappointment, sadness and bitterness when she thought of the words she had just said?  
  
Why did she feel that she had hurt Wendy?  
  
"Oh unnie, you should have told me everything from the beginning"  
  
Joy and Wendy were in the place where they always ate breakfast. It had been exactly a month since Wendy saw Seulgi for the last time and, after so much time, she could no longer contain her secret so she ended up telling Joy. Of all the people with whom she could confess Joy was the right one. She knew Seulgi better than anyone and maybe she could help  
  
At this point Wendy just wanted to apologize to Seulgi. She wasn't interested in knowing more about her or having a friendship. She just wanted to apologize. Seulgi had blocked her number: she didn't answer a single message nor did she answer her calls. Seulgi was ignoring her as a pro and Wendy wondered how Seulgi was feeling at that exact moment because she was sad and dejected and anxiety sometimes took away her sleep.  
  
"I never thought things would escalate to this" Wendy muttered as she looked at the table. "I thought Seulgi would at least be willing to talk"  
  
Joy leaned over the table and rested her face in her hands, looking into her friend's eyes  
  
"I'll do my best to help you but I don't really want to promise you anything. Seulgi-unnie sometimes is... very difficult to understand, her feelings aren't easy to deal with and she has a tremendous fear of a serious relationship, I can't blame her"  
  
Wendy looked up curiously at the younger girl. She didn't have to be a genius to realize that Seulgi didn't want anything serious with anyone but the way Joy justified it sounded like there was something behind all that fear.  
  
Wendy heard many stories where the soulmates met but never managed to live together didn't even end as friends. She heard stories where, instead of loving each other, the soulmates hated each other and tried to kill themselves. She heard stories where fate didn't make very good choices and people had been hurt in so many ways that Wendy didn't dare to describe them  
  
Would that happen to her? Would Seulgi end up hating her?  
  
She didn't care anymore about having a soul mate, she just wanted to apologize for her attitude  
  
"Did something happen to Seulgi before?" Wendy couldn't contain her curiosity and forced herself to ask Joy a little more about her best friend. "Is that why she is afraid of relationships?"  
  
"Sorry, Wendy, but that's something that Seulgi-unnie entrusted to me and I'm not going to tell you" Joy leaned back in her seat, her face hadn't lost the usual gentleness but her tone was quite serious. As if she was willing to defend Seulgi's secret with life itself  
  
"If Seulgi trusts you, she'll tell you"  
  
Wendy sighed  
  
"Okay just... tell her I need to talk to her, okay? Just that"  
  
Wendy went to work that morning, putting all her hope in the hands of her friend to try and solve things. In her work she was completely lost in her thoughts until she heard Yeri, one of her colleagues, complain about the pain she felt in her right arm  
  
"What happened to you Yeri-ah?" Wendy asked with concern. For a moment she thought maybe Yeri had hurt herself while exercising or practicing sports.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"I think so" Yeri raised her arm slowly and grimaced at the pain that it produced "Ugh... this must be because of yesterday"  
  
Wendy smiled devilishly as she looked at her colleague  
  
"I suppose you won't ask to be tied to the bed anymore, right Yeri-ah?"  
  
"Ha, I wish it had been that. I was actually coming home and I didn't realize that Saeron was right behind me so I closed the door hard and her arm got caught in it, but you know how this soulmate thing works ... my stupid ass was the one that ended up hurt"  
  
Wendy remained silent for a moment and then burst into laughter at Yeri's bad luck. Everything had been a simple accident but fate wouldn't forgive even the slightest carelessness. Yeri buried her face in her hands to try and hide her shame while Wendy still laughed  
  
"Stop it, unnie. I have enough with all the jokes Saeron is making all day long"  
  
Wendy allowed herself to laugh a little more before coming back to reality and continue working. Through her mind now ran the same idea she had in the morning: how did Seulgi endured all the sadness and disappointment for a whole month? That was the vivid definition of 'pride' and at the same time the perfect example of 'escape'  
  
However, Wendy didn't have the slightest idea  
  
Seulgi wasn't dealing well with sadness  
  
Since that day when she left Wendy, she tried to hide the emptiness in her chest with a dozen other people and the most destructive habits that could be imagined. Every day she got drunk to the point of forgetting who she was and went to bed with a different person. Waking up beside a complete stranger relieved a little the feeling of loneliness in her chest  
  
Why she was feeling that way?  
  
By now, Seulgi was completely sure that everything was due to the words she told Wendy. She had hurt her beyond the physical way, she hurt her soul and her feelings with her cowardice and now she was paying the price for that attitude. Seulgi couldn't stand it  
  
Because everytime she kissed someone, she closed her eyes to imagine that she was kissing Wendy. Every time she made love to a stranger, she ignored that voice in the back of her head that begged for the person in the bed to turn into that woman with dark eyes and beautiful body and not someone for whom she felt nothing.  
  
Seulgi was between a rock and a hard place. Fate was surely having a blast as it watched Seulgi ruining her life slowly  
  
The soulmates didn't exist, she still believed that  
  
But she couldn't stand the hole in her soul  
  
And that was how on any given day Seulgi asked the direction of Wendy's apartment to talk to her about everything. She dressed in the most casual clothes she could find and urgently drove to the place that Joy said.  
  
The place wasn't luxurious, the apartment looked like any other place more, calm and colored in white to make it more attractive to look at. Wendy had a few neighbors in the building and they were all either families or older people. Seulgi knocked on the doorbell several times and got a muffled 'One minute, please' in response  
  
Finally, Wendy opened the door. Seulgi realized that her gaze was filled with surprise for a moment and then turned into disgust. That caused her an indescribable feeling in her soul  
  
"Seulgi" she whispered "What are you doing here?"  
  
Seulgi went inside the house and closed the door to push Wendy against the wall, holding her wrists roughly. Wendy squealed as she tried to free herself from the grip even though it was a lot of work for her. For such a small girl, she couldn't understand how Seulgi was so strong  
  
"What the hell are you doing, Seulgi?! You're hurting me!"  
  
"Hurt you? I can't hurt you, Wendy. Did you forgot?"  
  
Her voice sounded soft, uncertain. Wendy stopped writhing when she realized that Seulgi was bringing her face closer to hers and looked at her lips with those predatory eyes that aroused the desire inside her. God, the last thing she wanted now was to have sex with Seulgi...  
  
"How the hell can you stand the emptiness in your heart?" Seulgi mumbled against her lips "How do you do that Wendy?"  
  
Then she kissed her. Wendy immediately melted into the contact while Seulgi released her hands. Wendy tangled her hands behind her neck to deepen the kiss as Seulgi held her by the waist. There was no battle to dominate, there was no fierce tongue fight. It was just a passionate kiss full of so many feelings that Seulgi felt scared once again  
  
When they parted from the kiss, they looked at each other. Seulgi pressed her forehead to Wendy's while they stood together. Wendy could see the fragility in Seulgi's expression, it went beyond what she could understand and what she had seen in all her life. She looked so conflicted with herself, as if fighting the strongest demons inside her mind  
  
"I'm sorry Seulgi" Wendy dared to speak suddenly "I'm so sorry"  
  
Seulgi looked at her confused  
  
"Why are you apologizing?"  
  
"I'm so sorry to be your soulmate. If I could, I would really change things to make you happy but I can't. I always so excited to meet you and be near you. I was really looking for you all my life but I'm willing to put aside my dream of having a soulmate if that makes you feel better"  
  
Seulgi broke away from Wendy's body and remained silent  
  
Wendy felt a pang of pain in her chest and choked a breath in her throat. That felt terrible, as if her heart had been torn out of nothing or as if she were being suffocated with a piece of cloth. She immediately understood what was happening: her words were hurting Seulgi  
  
"You don't understand" Seulgi was blinking rapidly, trying to hide the tears in her eyes "The last month has been hell for me, it didn't matter how many people I fucked or how drunk I was you were always in my mind... every damn second I remembered you, I remembered your scent and your lips, I couldn't sleep and I couldn't forget that sadness. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I hurt you for you to feel like this. Letting you go was the hardest thing I ever had to do"  
  
It seemed that the tears were about to escape but Seulgi still had that nostalgic countenance. Wendy couldn't contain herself anymore and took a few steps forward so she could cup her face in her hands and give her a loving kiss on her forehead.  
  
"I'm here now" Wendy kissed the tip of her nose "I'm here"  
  
Seulgi kissed her lips gently and the contact deepened again and that's how both ended up in Wendy's bed. Despite how much the latter was trying to avoid it. It was impossible for her to control her feelings when Seulgi was close and she wondered if that was also an effect of being her soul mate.  
  
This time the kisses were much gentler, there were no bites or roughness and Wendy felt complete as Seulgi covered her body with her kisses and the careful way in which she was touching her. It was a completely different experience from what she experienced before and for the first time in a long time she felt that someone made love to her instead of just mindless fucking. Wendy smiled widely when she realized that this person was Seulgi, her soul mate.  
  
It was close to three in the morning when both were lying naked on the bed. Wendy hugged Seulgi's waist as she pulled the other woman closer to her body with one arm behind her back, her lips pressed to her forehead as she closed her eyes and indulged in the feeling of calm and tranquility in her entire soul. At last she was next to that person who could heal the emptiness in her chest  
  
None of them slept and Seulgi took the moment to open herself completely to Wendy. Before her soul mate  
  
"My parents were soulmates" whispered Seulgi and Wendy looked up to her expression although the darkness of the room didn't help much in that "They really loved each other, took care of each other and understood each other better than anyone in the world. They were so close they always did the same things and sometimes even thought the same, being at home was always the best thing that could happen to you"  
  
Seulgi was silent for a moment, perhaps trying to find the right words  
  
"One day my father took a long time to get home after work, my mother called him on several occasions but he never answered, she started worrying and reported everything to the police. That same night my mother..."  
  
Her voice broke suddenly, Wendy heard as Seulgi let out a broken "Fuck" under her breath and tried to regain her strength. Wendy raised a hand to caress her face  
  
"Its okay, I'm here"  
  
Wendy felt the wetness of Seulgi tears dropping on her forehead  
  
"My mother received a call from the police saying that she had to recognize my father's body. Dad died in a traffic accident during the afternoon and that's why he hadn't come home that day ... fuck, I already forgot how much it hurt to remember"  
  
Seulgi started to sob lightly, Wendy tried to contain her own tears  
  
"It was a very strong blow for my mother, she was too depressed and stopped taking care of herself. I don't think she cared much about continuing to live after she lost the person she loved the most eventually my mother also became ill and died just a year after my father"  
  
Everything made sense to Wendy now  
  
Seulgi wasn't afraid of responsibility or a serious relationship. Seulgi was afraid of losing her soul mate, she was afraid of the pain that would be to live without her other half in the cold world  
  
"I also wanted to meet you," whispered Seulgi as she wiped away her tears "It had been so long that I thought I would never meet you and suddenly you came. I didn't know what to do... I wanted to have you with me but I didn't want us to end up like my parents. I couldn't stand it"  
  
Wendy kissed her cheek and Seulgi hugged her tightly  
  
"What am I going to do if I lose you? I'm never supposed to meet someone like you... what will happen to me if you leave me, Wendy?"  
  
Wendy didn't make an attempt to contain her own tears. She frantically shook her head and kissed Seulgi again as many times as physically possible, trying to give her all the love she deserved and all the protection she needed.  
  
"You won't lose me Seulgi. Everything will be fine"  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Because we have each other, that's why we're soulmates. We'll suffer together, we'll cry together and take care of each other... you're not going to lose me, Seulgi"  
  
Seulgi wrapped her arms around Wendy's torso, like she would disappear in any moment and slip through her fingers.  
  
“Don't ever leave me”  
  
“I'm okay, you're okay. We are okay, Seul…we'll be fine”  
  
That promise stayed engraved between the four walls of that room  
  
Time went by. Seulgi and Wendy learned to work together as soul mates. They dated and tried to understand each other. They were about to complete a year of dating and now they were going to meet Joy in their usual restaurant  
  
"So all the time you were the vampire" Joy smirked, evil behind her voice "I didn't think you were that type"  
  
"Ugh, you have no idea" Seulgi rolled her eyes. Wendy hit her shoulder hard and made the two women laugh out loud at her obvious blush  
  
"Yes of course Seulgi, you are the one who bit me everywhere"  
  
"You loved it, accept it"  
  
"Shut up"  
  
"Why don't you shut me up with a kiss?"  
  
Joy squealed and Wendy only covered her face to hide her shame again. Seulgi laughed and circled a hand behind the shoulders of her soul mate, planting a long kiss on her cheek  
  
"You two are so cute" Joy said while taking a picture with her phone "I'm seriously setting this picture as my background"  
  
Wendy stuck her tongue out to her friend and now it was her who kissed Seulgi's cheek. Seulgi smiled confidently and let herself be loved  
  
“Any plans after this?” Wendy whispered against Seulgi's cheek. The woman laughed whole heartedly  
  
“I'm spending my evening with a vampire” Seulgi grinned  
  
“You seriously won't let that go, won't you?!”


	17. ...and then, she showed up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heartbroken and empty, Seulgi struggles to find her purpose in life after losing everything she once had

"Why is Teddy leaving, mommy? Doesn’t she love us anymore?"

Those were the words that echoed through Wendy's mind since several days ago. It was so difficult to explain to her five-year-old son that sometimes is difficult to live with someone else, that there are times when you should say goodbye to someone so this person can grow and understand how they can improve for the better.

Wendy gave that explanation to herself and over the days she’d managed to convince herself that she could let Seulgi go faster than her son could

"Teddy did something really wrong, Jungie" the mother tried to explain once again, simplifying her words as much as possible "That's why she has to leave"

"What if you take away her favorite dessert at lunchtime?" Junghee joined both hands as if begging while looking at his mother "That always works! There is no need for Teddy to leave if you take away her dessert!"

Innocence was the most valuable virtue that little Junghee Son-Kang possessed; you didn’t have to be a genius to notice that. Wendy loved her son above all things; there was nothing more important for her in this life, not even Seulgi. Junghee was her light in the darkness, he was her hope and her happiness, he was that fragment of joy that she grasped with both hands to never let go.

But, after remembering the image of Seulgi snorting a line of cocaine on the damn table of the dining room, she almost gagged; it showed Wendy the clear thought that she couldn’t protect the innocence of her beloved Junghee if Seulgi had such harmful habits. That's why she was kicking her out of the house.

She had no idea when Seulgi crumbled like that, she didn’t even want to imagine how someone managed to hook her into it or how she bought her first gram. Wendy just wanted to forget the pain she felt in her heart when she saw Seulgi throwing her head back, riding the sudden charge of energy the drug produced as if enjoying the finer elixir of life, like arching after the most intense orgasm. Wendy wanted to cry just by remembering it

Because Seulgi looked happy... much happier than with her family

They’d loved each other for a long time; Junghee was the pillar that kept them strong. They were a family and they loved each other... what happened then? At what point did her 'Teddy' surrender to darkness without letting it out? Maybe it had been the years of stress, maybe it had been those days where they had no food to eat and maybe it had been the pressure of society.

Wendy wanted to blame anything and she could believe any excuse, she just didn’t want to think that Seulgi found a way out in drugs because she was no longer happy with her family. She never heard a reason: that day she found her Seulgi didn’t have time to explain, Wendy immediately threw an ultimatum at her telling her she should leave the house in a week and there would be no other option. Seulgi accepted, she didn’t throw a tantrum nor did she shed a tear; she was as calm as always and as cold as ever. The only thing that mattered to her was Junghee

 _"What is going to happen to our son?"_  she said  _"Can I still see him?"_

Wendy still couldn’t answer that

The house they lived in was large enough for a family to live comfortably. It had two floors, four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a swimming pool, living room, dining room and a kitchen so big that you could run in it without counting the incredible backyard where Junghee played every afternoon. The whole house was painted white and along the walls there were pictures of the two of them on their different trips, Junghee when he was a baby, that picture on the day of their wedding in which Sooyoung cried while catching the bouquet. So many memories and so many things that were taken care of very well.

Wendy heard the door of her room close tightly and then the sound of Seulgi's shoes on the wooden floor walking the corridors and then down the stairs. The constant sound of a rolling suitcase caused a knot in her throat and said knot increased when Junghee ran to Seulgi and clung to her hugging her around the waist. Seulgi's gaze lost strength and softened beyond what everyone could imagine, she completely forgot the suitcase and went down at the level of her son to be able to return the hug with the same intensity

"Don’t leave Teddy Bear" Junghee said in a fragile little voice that threatened to break down in tears at any moment "Don’t you love me anymore? Don’t you love Mommy? Why are you leaving? Did I do something wrong? Why are you leaving Teddy?"

With each question of Junghee, Wendy felt a dagger in her heart

"I love you Junghee" Seulgi still hugged him tightly "Remember that I love you more than anyone in this world, be a good boy with mom: bathe every day, brush your teeth, do your homework and eat all the vegetables. Don’t leave out any of them okay? That's cheating”

Junghee started to sob and then burst into tears

"Stay with me Teddy" said the child with a broken voice "Please, don’t go. Stay with me"

Wendy swore she could see a tear running down Seulgi's cheek

"Look at the bright side, Jungie," Seulgi whispered. "Your dad can come and see you as many times as you want and have fun in the pool"

Junghee screamed

"I don’t want my dad! I want you! We can do all of that together! I won’t be bad boy again, I swear!"  
Seulgi picked him up in her arms and caressed his back as the boy laced his arms around her neck, hugging her as if at any moment she would disappear. Wendy didn’t even care that Seulgi mentioned Junghee's father because she could care less for that no matter how much they thought the opposite, Seulgi was the love of her life.

But she couldn’t bear to see how Seulgi destroyed that love

"You'll be fine Jungie," Seulgi said in a soft voice "You'll be fine, love. Mommy will take care of you better than anyone, all your noonas will also take care of you, it's not your fault that I'm leaving, it's mine, ok? You've been the best son any mother could wish for. Mom and I have some things to talk about but as soon as we can, I'll come and see you and we'll eat the biggest vanilla ice cream you can imagine"

Seulgi kissed him on the cheek and began to wipe away his tears little by little

"You'll be fine Jungie. Do you trust me?" Junghee nodded several times "I promise you'll be fine, love”

Seulgi may have broken many promises in her life but never, never she’d broken a promise for Junghee and Wendy could fight anyone at anytime in order to make her point.

Junghee fell asleep after crying so much. Seulgi stayed by his side until she was sure he was asleep and then gave him a long goodbye kiss on his forehead. Wendy didn’t want to imagine the sadness the boy would feel when he woke up and found out that Seulgj just left the house. Under the stairs again, Wendy was waiting for her at the entrance door and Seulgi took her suitcase again to drag it out of that place. They looked at each other's eyes... both of them didn’t want to say anything but they wanted to scream everything that was suffocating them right now

Seulgi broke the silence

"Take care of yourself, Wen" it was a very soft voice, like the one she used when she spoke to her ear while she hugged her and whispered 'I love you' constantly. Wendy felt her heart would come out of her chest just because of the tragedy of all this, it was very difficult to let her go

"Seulgi... Jungie is also your son, you can come to see him as much as you want" the woman quickly changed the subject "He loves you and you he’ll miss you so much”

"You won’t miss me?" she kept using that voice "Will you just say you don’t know me anymore?"

"Seulgi, I didn't found you stealing a cookie from the goddamn jar... I found you snorting coke, in our house, where your son lives, where your wife lives" Wendy broke "I love you so much..." thick tears ran down her cheeks "You and I have lived too much, you're my other half. I love you Seulgi. I really do but you have no idea how I felt when I saw you so happy while you sniffed that crap. I just want to help you"

Seulgi wanted to shout that her family made her happy, that Junghee filled her heart with laughter and Wendy made her feel that she was floating above the clouds. But the emptiness Seulgi felt had nothing to do with her family but with herself... she approached her wife and wrapped her hands around her waist. She could only ask for more answers

"Then why are you letting go of my hand?" she kissed Wendy on her temple "Did I let you go all of these years? Did I let you go when that guy got you pregnant? Did I let you go when your father didn’t want to support you? Did I let you go when we lacked money? Answer me Seungwannie... When did I let go of your hand?"

Wendy shook her head several times as she got away Seulgi from her body

"I'm not letting go of your hand Seulgi. I want you to find what you need, I do it because I love you and I love this family that we took so long to build. I can’t let you destroy it"

Seulgi approached Wendy once more, this time to kiss her cheek and then whisper a line of words that made Wendy cry a little more, her body shaking with the ugly sobbing

"True to you, in good and bad times"

"In sickness and in health” Wendy continued between tears. Those two lines, those two statements were so precious to both that they couldn’t be explained anymore. It was an old poem so bittersweet that there was no way to change its words so they could hurt less. That was supposed to be the promise that will bound them together for eternity, beyond legal terms.

Seulgi took her suitcase and left home

"I love you Seulgi. Please... stop hurting yourself like this"

"I love you too, Wen"

But Seulgi didn’t promise that she would change, she didn’t promise that she would be herself again

She just went away

* * *

Seulgi rang the bell of the house she shared with Wendy several times

In the morning she woke up after the annoying sound of her alarm, it was supposed that today she would go and grab some of her things from her old house to be able to continue working on her compositions. Music was her escape and the main reason why she still had some money. Soon, she would have to show them to the label where she worked and she couldn't spend another day without doing anything, even if her emotional state wasn't the right one. She ended up getting dressed in the first clothes she found and got into her luxurious Mercedes parked a few blocks away from the awful building where she now lived.

It was early in the morning on a Saturday so she figured that Wendy and Junghee would be home at least until noon. She had time to spend with her family even if it was only a little

And that had been what made her ring the bell. No one was answering her no matter how hard she insisted and Seulgi was sure they were home, Wendy's car was parked right outside. So, what the hell was going on? Unwittingly, she began to devise a ton of unlikely and catastrophic scenarios... she was almost ready to throw the door open when she heard someone on the other side open it. She was ready to greet Wendy

But behind the door was  _that_  guy

Both looked at each other surprised and without saying anything. The man hadn't changed much since they last seen each other. He was still very tall and he still had an enviable and athletic physique but the years had ran him over like a train. Looking at the way he was dressed, more casual rather than formal, Seulgi was almost certain the guy didn't do anything for a living. The discomfort of their silence was broken by the excited squeal of Junghee and the constant pounding of his feet on the ground

"Teddy Bear!" A black-haired missile flew in Seulgi's direction and hugged her waist tightly. Seulgi picked him up and gave him a wet kiss on his cheek before the boy hugged her neck tightly. "You're back!"

"It seems that someone is happy today. How is it going, Jungie?"

"Good. Dad was already leaving so you can stay to eat ice cream with me "

Seulgi almost wanted to smirk at the comment of her young son because it didn't matter how much of Junghee was related to that guy or how much Wendy tried to make the child recognize him as a father figure. At the end of the day, for Junghee, Seulgi was the only person who really mattered and the only person he could recognize as part of his family.

A light laugh from that guy pulled her out of her trance

"Well, I'm leaving now. See you later, Junghee. See you later Seulgi-ssi"

Seulgi just nodded and moved to one side of the door for the man to walk without turning around to take a look at him. Wendy appeared suddenly, leaving the room with a half-filled cup of coffee. The moment she saw Seulgi with Junghee, a gentle smile showed on her face and she could only raise her hand to greet her (still) wife

"Good morning Seulgi"

"Good morning, Wendy. How are you?"

Wendy was surprised that Seulgi hadn't asked what that guy was doing in their home

"I'm good. Do you want something to drink?"

"No no. I'm fine. I only came for my instruments to work but I think I can stay for a while to play with this dwarf right here"Junghee pouted and Seulgi could only laugh before giving him another kiss on his cheek "Are you okay with that? Do you have something to do later?"

"Don't worry. We have the whole day"

"Teddy! Let's play baseball in the backyard! You have to see my new pitch!"

"Let's go then!"

Seulgi ended up in the backyard of her home playing baseball with little Junghee. Wendy was sitting in one of the chairs at the garden table they had, looking at the scene with a smile. She could almost forget what Seulgi did, could almost forgive her and tell her they could work things out as well as before, she could almost dare to say a firm 'no' to that guy and his wonderful business offer…

This was the family she loved so much

"Bottom of the ninth in the world series! Two outs for the home team and now it's time for Son Junghee to hit! The audience screams excited for a home run!" Seulgi did her best impersonation of a baseball narrator

Wendy joined their little game chanting Junghee's name as the boy smiled widely and held the bat tightly over his shoulder. Seulgi raised her arms in the air and threw the ball lightly so the boy could hit it hard. Junghee laughed as he saw the ball flying with speed and Seulgi screamed full of excitement, running towards him to lift him in her arms

"Son Junghee has won the world series! He is the hero of the game!"

Junghee laughed and raised his arms in the air. Wendy whistled and ran to kiss the little boy. She ran towards them with the intention of joining the improvised celebration but, soon, Junghee's expression was distorted by confusion and worry while looking at Seulgi

"Teddy…" he whispered "Are you okay?"

"Eh?" Seulgi raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, Jungie. Why?"

"Your nose... you are bleeding"

Seulgi immediately took one of her hands to her face to cleanse herself and realize the child wasn't lying, there was a slight trickle of blood running from her nose. Putting Junghee on the ground, she immediately squeezed the bridge of her nose to try and stop the bleeding, luckily that mythical method ended up working and she finally could give a coherent explanation to Junghee

"Are you sick Teddy?" The boy looked worried

"I'm fine Jungie. It happens to me sometimes, nothing is wrong"

"Can we keep playing then?"

Wendy was too angry to leave things as they were, she wasn't going to let that mirage of happiness end up convincing her that everything was fine. The main reason for their problems was manifested in front of her and the fact that Seulgi was bleeding from her nose meant she hadn't stopped snorting coke and her addiction was beginning to wreak havoc on her body

"Jungie. Can you go inside, love? Mom and Teddy need to talk"

Junghee made a big pout and his eyes turned teary but he ended nodding slowly and walking with his shoulders down to the inside of his home. Seulgi looked at Wendy with a raised eyebrow and was about to ask what happened when she felt a strong burn on her cheek, her head turning to one side

Wendy had slapped her

Seulgi didn't move

"I can't believe you continue with your stupid habits, Seulgi... not even because you are on the verge of losing everything. How many lines did you snort for you to bleed like that?"

No response

"Answer me! How many?!"

"Two... Only two"

"Only two?! You have the nerve to say there were only two?! Seulgi, for God's sake! How many damn lines you need to realize that enough is enough?!"

Wendy couldn't stand Seulgi's destructive behaviors ... she had never done it. Whenever the brunette spend all day in her studio without eating she ended up bringing her a plate of food despite the complains, always trying to avoid danger because Seulgi had that very bad habit... she was so selfless that she didn't mind self-destructing more than once. But now there was no way for Wendy to stop that destruction in time

"I kicked you out thinking you would change... but you don't even TRY to change. What's wrong with you Seulgi?"

"What was that guy doing here? Are you already trying to get Junghee to love him?" Seulgi immediately tried to take out her frustration so she wouldn't feel bad for the mistakes she made.

"He just came to talk business with me"

"Of all the people in the whole  _fucking_  country, you are the only one with whom he can do business. Did you forgive him?"

Seulgi had eyes full of pain, they seemed to shine with tears but her voice was still calm and still not losing control of her emotions. Seulgi was always calm... she never let emotions overflow beyond what she could contain

"No, I haven't"

"Then? You forgot he took the easy way out after you got pregnant five years ago?"

"No, Seulgi, that's not the point"

"What is the damn point then Seungwan? Why are you letting that guy enter Junghee's life just like that?!"

"Why are you so worried about what I do with Junghee?! He is not even your son!"

Wendy realized very late what she had said. Too late

Seulgi opened her eyes in surprise and the gale of emotions that broke inside her heart was suffocating. There was a lump in her throat, her chest feeling tight and, out of nowhere, the air had become heavy, every breath felt as if sulfur ran down her esophagus and ignited her lungs with fury. She couldn't feel anything anymore... the pain that caused her to use drugs now didn't mean anything

Wendy took a few steps forward towards Seulgi

"Seul... I'm sorry, I... I said that without thinking. I'm sorry Seulgi I didn't want to say that"

Wendy tried to reach her hand to touch her wife's cheek but Seulgi pushed her hand away with rage. Wendy looked scared and with real regret on her face. Seulgi couldn't care less about it. Those words were enough to realize that Wendy no longer wanted her in her life... at least not in the way Seulgi wanted to be

There was nothing left, nothing to fight for

"No Seungwan" replied the composer, her voice empty and hoarse "There's no need for you to explain, you are right... Junghee isn't my son"

Seulgi turned around, walking towards the house

"I'm going to pick up my things and then I'll go. Have a nice day"

Wendy wanted to run to her and hug her. She had just destroyed Seulgi's heart in pieces

And, as she watched Seulgi leave, she had no idea if she could repair it

 

 


	18. ...and then, she showed up II

Wendy never felt disappointment

At least not the way she was feeling it now as she looked at the pregnancy test in her trembling, anxious hands. What was she supposed to do now with all this pressure on her shoulders? Two furious black stripes stared back at her on the piece of plastic and choked her like a pair of hands around her neck

What was she going to do now? How was she going to explain to her father that, in the last month before finishing her degree, she was pregnant thanks to her boyfriend?

Her head began to spin and she felt she would faint. She had so many explanations to give and just at this moment she’d just lost all the privileges her father could give her: a spot on his company, a nice house, maybe a wedding with the right one not just her year-old boyfriend…

She looked at the test one more time and threw it in the trash along with the other three that were already used. Now more than any other time she wanted to have her mother by her side.

She came out of the bathroom in the dorm she shared with four other girls and it fortunately was empty for now; all of them too busy with afternoon activities to pay attention to the little 'slip' Wendy had.

Stupid hormones, stupid impulse

Forgetting the panic, she decided that it was best to organize her thoughts and talk to the other side of this problem, her boyfriend. It was supposed that right now he should be in the college rooms, probably playing some war videogames with his friends while joking and telling some of the many stories that he had

God, Wendy finally realized this not only ruined her life but also that guy's... and that made her feel worse than anyone else in this world.

She changed the heels she commonly wore for a pair of white sneakers and chose to walk back to college, their own dorm wasn’t far away from the place just barely a few blocks away. She went through the garden and the fountain that decorated the entrance trying not to look at anyone, for some reason she felt that everyone was watching her as if she was infected with some strange disease... She felt that everyone knew about her pregnancy and that soon they would begin to babble about the basketball team captain and her girlfriend being too damn close, more than usual

She climbed the stairs of the largest building at college where all the rooms were, she’d memorized the exact place: Third floor, room A with a door full of stickers from different basketball teams... She usually went upstairs with joy and a great smile, excited to see the one she loved so much. Now it felt like she was walking the hallway to her death

Wendy stood in front of the door and took a long breath. She gave two knocks on the wood before she heard a faint 'One second' behind it. The door opened and from it came a boy, a friend of her boyfriend whom Wendy could barely remember

"Oh, Hey Wendy, are you looking for-?"

"Uhm…can you tell him that I need to talk?"

"Sure…hey dude! Your girlfriend is at the door!"

Just a moment went by before her boyfriend ran out of nowhere and wrapped her in a hug that took her by surprise, Wendy wanted to answer but her body couldn’t move... she was frozen by the nervousness and the lump in her throat. The boy broke the hug and looked at her with an excited smile

"Hi Wen, I thought you were busy. Are the girls being annoying again?"

"No, not at all, I... I have to talk to you"

"Everything’s alright?"

'No' she wanted to answer. Her brain was a mix of ideas and words, of all the possible scenarios that could happen in her head and for some reason none of them was good enough to erase the anxiety in her chest. Each one seemed worse than the previous

"Remember I told you I wasn’t feeling well for weeks?" The boy nodded shyly and opened his mouth to interrupt but Wendy was quicker "Today I went to the store for pregnancy tests and... they were positive"

The color drained from the boy's face and Wendy wondered if she looked the same hours ago, when the first test went positive. For a long moment he didn’t say a single word and Wendy wholeheartedly thanked there weren’t many people walking in the corridors of that floor because then she would have to make the world's best excuse and say that everything had been a horrible joke

"You are pregnant?"

"Yes"

"Are you sure it's mine?"

Ahhhh... that had to be the routine question of all pregnancy confessions throughout history. Wendy was offended and disappointed after hearing those words because her boyfriend could play the 'I don’t remember' card but she wasn’t stupid and why in the world would she go around school having sex with everyone just so she could impress her own boyfriend?

"Of course!" Wendy answered full of rage "Who fucking else?!"

"Wen... don’t get mad"

"I just want a solution. I'm so anxious that I can’t even explain this right. I don’t know what to do..."

"What makes you think that I do know?"

That was the first dagger in Wendy's heart. She believed in the good of the world and in the goodness of people, believed that her boyfriend loved her after all they had lived

"I'm so sorry Wendy" he continudd as he looked down and shook his head from side to side, face full of doubt "I... I can’t help you, I have too many plans in the future to abandon everything for a child"

And that was the second dagger in Wendy's heart. She wished she didn’t have such a good memory so she could completely forget about that scene and the tightness in her chest, she wanted to cry but the tears never spilled from her eyes, they just welled up around them. Her boyfriend had escaped but what about her? How could she escape? Her body was finally able to move and the pain in her soul made her react, her hand raised and slapped the boy with all the strength she could gather. The skin clashing against skin echoed throughout the hallway and attracted the attention of a few curious people.

"I don’t need you" the brunette girl hissed, completely ignoring the lump in her throat "I won’t need you now or ever"

Wendy ran.

She sprinted down the stairs at full speed and ran back to her own home without looking back; she could care less about the glances full of pity of people or the whispers that asked about her emotional state. She just wanted to take refuge in the calm of her room, sleep and preferably not wake up anymore... heart-broken and with a metaphorical knife against her throat, Wendy couldn't figure out the right way out of everything.

Her legs ached by the time she reached the dorm door, she opened it quickly and as soon as she stepped forward she clashed with someone else's body

The dorm where they lived was large; after all it had to house five girls and cover the basic needs of each one of them. Right at the entrance they had some sort of locker where they left all kinds of footwear and nobody could go on from that place without leaving their shoes in the right spot. The rule was written after one of them left such a large high-heels scratch on the floor that they could almost call it the second San Andreas Fault. Whoever broke the rule received a 'warning' (in the form of a small angry-looking emoji face on the chore chart that Yeri drawn on a large sheet of paper and pasted on the wall of their living room) and would have to clean the house for a week, no matter how much time it took everyone should stop at that locker.

That’s why Wendy crashed with someone

"Wannie! Aish, you dummy. Look where you're going!"

Seulgi was that ‘someone’

Kang Seulgi, her best friend and the person she would always trust regardless of how much time went by. Her soul mate, her other half, that spot on her heart that could never be replaced by anybody. The girl looked like she was just entering the dorm because she was still wearing her uniform from the closest McDonalds that became her workplace since a few months ago. Seeing Wendy that way: with tears crossing her cheeks, breathing heavily and with such a broken look…Seulgi didn’t even ask what happened, she just took her hand and guided her to the living room

Wendy burst into tears as she clung to Seulgi's body.  
Just after the front door, on the right, was the living room: two large couches and one big armchair, a television of God-knows-how-many-inches, a video game console and several boxes full of movies of all kinds. Seulgi took Wendy to one of the couches and helped her to calm down, wiping her tears with her thumbs

"Is everything okay?"

Wendy wondered if Seulgi had the ability to read the mind or she just was an open book. Embracing Seulgi again, Wendy shook her head several times and sobbed again

"He... he didn’t want..."

"Breathe Wendy" Seulgi stroked her back "Calm down"

"Seul I... I'm pregnant and he didn’t want to take care of it"

The hug tightened a little more for a small amount of time before Seulgi broke it to be able to look at her face once more, drying her tears and giving her a slight smile

“Don’t you have me then? I'm not going to leave you"

Wendy tried to stop her sobs

"You don’t need him, I’ll help you, if you want to keep it of course... you are free and it is your choice Wannie, whatever you choose I’ll respect and help you"

She caressed her cheeks while cleaning her tears one more time

"You're not alone Wendy, you'll never be... I'm not going to let you go, never"

Wendy hugged her again and while Seulgi wrapped her arms around her, the brunette girl realized that she really didn’t need anything else if she had her best friend. Because Seulgi gave her the answer she expected from the coward boy, that was the kind of hope she was looking for in the words of her now ex- boyfriend and all the time she had them in Seulgi...

"I'll make you some tea to calm you down" Seulgi whispered in her ear.

Just as they broke away from the hug, they heard a lot of noise behind the front door and finally someone's keys when entering. The other three girls just arrived in a group; all of them complaining about how MoonByul had spoiled the plans for the night and for some reason, they were covered with the remaining of a dressing and vegetables

"Everything was fine until she shouted 'food war!'" complained Yeri

"Officially MoonByul is the unwanted sister" now it was Sooyoung who complained "The buffet was amazing and she had to make us get kicked out of there, idiot!"

"Please" Joohyun came out in their friend defense "If they kicked us out from the buffet it was because you and Yeri couldn’t stop eating, you guys took the  _all you can eat_  slogan very seriously"

Seulgi barely got up from the chair and Wendy wiped her tears while the noise made her smile. There were days when she hated the war-at-a-small-scale coming out of every single room and wanted a little more privacy for herself but right now she loved that heated discussion over the maknaes usual antics

"Aigo" Joohyun exclaimed, taking off her socks and sneakers "Look everyone! Seulgi is still in her McDonald’s uniform!"

The group of girls focused their eyes on their usually gentle friend, who had remained petrified on her way to the kitchen to prepare Wendy's tea. Everyone burst out laughing. Even Wendy had been infected with the group teasing towards Seulgi

“Smells like minimum wage!" Yeri shouted and the other girls joined her in a choir of 'Minimum Wage’ completely out of tune and made with the sole purpose of annoying Seulgi

"Minimum wage, minimum wage" Seulgi mocked in a high-pitched voice, trying to imitate the tone of her friends "You all should be ashamed that my salary is still much more than your usual contribution to this house"

Yeri stuck out her tongue and Seulgi returned the gesture as she walked back to the kitchen. They all took the time to leave their shoes in the locker until Joohyun, the youngest at heart, noticed something strange

"A pair of shoes is missing…"

"Aha!" Sooyoung exclaimed, as if she’d just found the clue she needed to solve the crime "Let me see…one, two, three, four…Wendy didn’t leave her shoes!"

"She just got a warning" Yeri claimed her authority and took one of the angry emojis that were on top of the locker "Aish Wendy-unnie... you broke your good girl streak, you had more than two weeks without earning a warning"

"At this rate we’ll all have a warning" Sooyoung murmured

"Except me" Joohyun intervened, after leaving her own pair of heels in the locker "There’s nothing in this world that makes me earn a warning"

"I think Yeri-ah didn’t even think about you when she made the chart" Sooyoung spoke with a pout and walked to the living room, just as she saw Wendy she let out a squeal. Both had been friends since childhood and that 'ultrasonic dolphin sound' (as Yeri had nicknamed that particular squeal) was a usual way of greeting each other.

The noise in the dorm was still evident. Seulgi and Yeri ravaged the fridge, Joohyun placed her favorite CD on the only stereo in the house…

"Why are you crying, unnie?" Sooyoung's voice wasn’t low enough not to alert the others

Immediately everyone stopped doing any activity and ran to the chair where Wendy was. They circled around her and chanted all kind of questions at the same time to a point where it was hard to understand them, Seulgi immediately stood between them all and Wendy, making a time out sign with her hands

"Leave her alone, okay? Wendy isn’t feeling well"

"Don’t worry, Seul" Wendy replied in a soft voice "They... they deserve to know what's happening"

They all had a face of curiosity but mostly of concern as they looked at the girl

"I’m pregnant"

Silence

Then excited screams came out of everyone and Sooyoung ran to hug Wendy tightly as she kept asking questions and congratulating her all at the same time. They all looked excited and Seulgi wondered if they would stay the same after they discovered the reason Wendy was crying wasn’t because of the happiness of being able to bring a new life into the world...

"But why are you crying unnie?" Yeri asked curiously. "Aren’t you supposed to be happy?"

"Idiot!" Sooyoung shouted "Wendy-unnie is happy! That's why she's crying! "

"I don’t see her crying from happiness"

"Is it true, Seungwannie?" Joohyun pulled her away from the hug she just started to look into her eyes. "Why are you crying then?"

"He didn’t want to take care of it... he said a child wasn’t in his future plans"

More silence. This time there was no excited shouts that could break the ice. Wendy's eyes fell to the ground and her shoulders shook again in the midst of sobs... sometime in her life she dreamed of giving this news to her four sisters and dreamed of seeing their happy faces and feeling their embraces and all of their support, she dreamed of talking with them about the happiness that being a mother gave her...

But she never dreamed that it would be right at this time

Where were her own plans for the future? Did she have to abandon them all just because of what society demanded from her? Did she have to give up everything she ever wanted to achieve just because there was an unwritten law that demanded her to stay at home? That was cruel, so cruel that she couldn’t believe it and made her cry a little more

"What a bastard," Sooyoung muttered, a little anger behind her voice

"That guy never was on my good list" Joohyun joined the claim

"God, that was so cruel. He didn’t even think about you" Yeri sat down right next to Wendy, placing an arm behind her shoulders to pull her into a hug.

"Piece of shit" Sooyoung continued, speaking through closed teeth" He only got what he wanted and left..."

"Luckily you don’t need him" Joohyun sat right next to Sooyoung

"Unnie is right" Yeri nodded a couple of times with her head "We'll help you take care of your baby"

“He doesn’t deserve any of your tears, unnie" Sooyoung tried to stop her crying one more time "Do you remember what we heard the other time? About each time you fall there’s always a pair of hands waiting to catch you? Here you have four pairs that’ll never let you go"

Wendy nodded and took refuge in Sooyoung's embrace before looking for Seulgi with her eyes until finally she could find her. Her best friend smiled at her with confidence, as if saying a silent 'I told you so' that made her feel better. Soon she stopped crying but remained in the embrace, feeling protected and accepted by this group of 'psychos'.

"I think we can forgive unnie warning for today" Yeri walked to the chore chart to try and remove the sticker without tearing the paper apart

"Sooyoung deserves the warning! We all ended up covered in freaking ranch dressing thanks to her!” Joohyun complained as she gave Sooyoung a light punch on the shoulder

"Then unnie wins the warning" Yeri changed the sticker without problem

"Yah! Yeri-ah!"

Wendy let herself laugh out loud along with the others

* * *

Seulgi was sitting at the kitchen table in the small apartment where they now lived. Between her hands were the electricity and water bills, both with numbers so big that she could only sigh. Throughout the worn wood of the table she was sitting at, her salary lay sprawled as she grouped it in small amounts for each of the things that she had to pay this month

Just a few weeks after graduation, Seulgi and Wendy moved in together. Wendy said everything was temporary, that things would surely improve once she explained everything to her father and then they could live with the comforts from before without worrying much about the expenses the baby would bring. Seulgi trusted her only for the simple fact that she was her best friend and she wouldn’t break her promises

Promises... there were so many things that she promised

Seulgi still couldn’t leave her job at McDonald's no matter how funny that sounded. They needed the salary because Wendy couldn’t get a job anywhere: everyone rejected her just because she was pregnant and that left Seulgi as the sole provider of the house. Luckily, the apartment they lived in wasn’t too expensive, barely costing a few hundred a month. It wasn’t the most beautiful thing they’d seen but it was definitely enough

Seulgi cursed under her breath as she remembered all the broken promises for now: She couldn’t afford a bigger house, there would be no vacation to the beach or trips abroad nor could they afford too many luxuries. Any extra money went for a small bottle full of savings they had in case of any emergency

"Seul?"

Wendy's voice drew Seulgi out of her thoughts and she turned to look at her slowly, trying to soften her gaze as much as possible. She wasn’t the one to blame for everything that happened.

"What's wrong?"

"Do we have enough for this month?"

The frequently asked question

"Barely... we gotta thank the fucking electricity and water bills. Those bastards ate almost half of the salary. We have a little to stock the pantry and all that’s left is going to the savings”

Wendy's face was filled with worry; Seulgi could read it like an open book. They spent a lot of time together so this gesture wouldn’t go unnoticed by her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she repeated the question from just a few moments ago

"I took some money from the savings in the morning... I needed to talk on the phone with my dad"

That activated all the alarms inside Seulgi’s brain, not because of the money she took but because of the word 'dad'. It meant that maybe things would finally start to improve for both of them. Some sort of relief washed all over her body

"I see... did he say anything about what you told me before?"

"Yes"

"What did he say?"

"He told me that..."

Her phrase was lost in the air; she remained in complete silence and looked towards another point of the room with a ‘face’ that Seulgi rarely saw. Wendy wasn’t a girl who was easily frightened; she wasn’t a fragile girl no matter what the situation was. What happened now? The alarms kept ringing inside Seulgi’s head and she concentrated completely on what Wendy was saying.

"What are you hiding from me, Wen? If the money worries you, forget it. We're going to recover next month and then-"

Seulgi couldn’t finish, Wendy raised her voice without screaming and looked at her once more. Her eyes shining with tears but without spilling any of them

"He said he won’t help me, not even a little"

A metaphorical bucket of cold water fell on Seulgi

"What?"

"He isn’t going to help us, Seul"

The taller girl would never forget how Wendy's gaze collapsed, filled with disappointment even when she hadn’t said a single word that really hurt her. She never saw Wendy that sad, in all these years she never showed a single expression of sadness... she was all smiles and loud laughter, being always happy in her own little way. Seulgi never saw her so broken.

And it was all her fault

It's been years since she felt such a heavy burden on her chest. The last time Seulgi felt that was that time in which Yeri and Joohyun, the closest to her besides Wendy, had a car accident so strong that both were in critical condition and almost died. But now it was Wendy... her best friend, the girl she loved the most

"Wen, look at me"

Wendy looked up, Seulgi could see the tears were still there but she refused to cry.

"Come here"

Wendy walked quickly, immediately hugging her friend, hiding her face between her neck and finally releasing that pair of tears and a slight sob. She was so mature and so focused that Seulgi sometimes forgot that she was still too young and lacked experience. That both still had too much to live and carried a weight too damn heavy even for two people

Seulgi stroked her hair and got up from the chair to hug her with more comfort, tangling her arms around her friend's still sculpted female figure while her mind wandered... what went wrong? Perhaps she had too much faith in fate and for a moment she forgot how evil fate could be. Always giving sudden turns and crushing illusions as long as things went just as it wished

Now there was no turning back.

"Wendy"

She stopped crying, her emotions finally calm. Wendy didn’t look at Seulgi but kept hugging her tightly as if she was going to disappear.

"Why are you crying?"

"I don’t know... hormones... responsibilities. We don’t have money Seul"

"Money won’t be a problem Wen. We’ll get it. Forget the fucking money"

"That's what I would like but every time I turn around the corner everything has a damn price tag that’s too expensive for us"

The slightly older woman let out a long sigh, bringng her hands to Wendy's sides and caressing them slowly.

"At least can you tell me what happened?"

"He says he won’t support me unless I marry my boyfrie-ex boyfriend"

Wendy sounded devastated. Her voice so empty and broken

"Listen Wen... tomorrow I'll find a new job, okay? We won’t have to resort to your father's money no matter how much we are lacking. I’ll work as much as you need to make you and your baby live well. You are my best friend and I’ll never leave you no matter what, I promised you. You don’t need that guy or your father"

Seulgi felt her friend body tremble under her hands, a sign that she was crying again. This time it took longer for Wendy to calm down and they were completely silent for what seemed like hours.

"Forgive me for making you do all of this Seul..."

Seulgi thought it was funny, it sounded more like a girl begging to keep the neighbor's toy rather than an apology. Seulgi made a slight hum sound to show her that she agreed and broke the hug so she could look at her eyes and cradle her face in her hands.

"I do it because I love you Wendy. I don’t want anything to happen to you"

And then Wendy’s face was filled with calmness, a slight smile stretching the corners of her mouth. Seulgi dried her tears and smiled widely to try and give her a little more confidence.

"I love you Seulgi"

But that 'I love you' wasn’t the one that Seulgi wanted to hear

* * *

Wendy looked at the savings jar. It had been half empty for six months to never recover, no matter how hard they tried... well, 'they' was too much to say because Wendy couldn't move a single muscle. Seulgi was the one who worked without fatigue day and night with over time here and there, juggling three jobs in just 24 hours and it still wasn't enough.

Since they had paid the first medical checkup, they had lost more than half of the savings. The doctor, the medicines and cares weren't cheap in any single hospital no matter how public they were and they were obligatory expenses for the well-being of Wendy and the small one that grew in her insides. A little boy…

Wendy still had mixed feelings every time she saw her round stomach. She didn't hate the boy because there was no reason to hate him but she couldn't conceive the idea of being a mother when she just wasn't ready to be one. Seulgi never told her anything about it, she just kept taking care of her like a princess

Seulgi, herr poor Seulgi

Every day she looked more tired, more exhausted and fed up with what she was doing. She slept very little, ate much less and tried to continue without complaining just moving forward as if she was a mule carrying a huge stone. She had lost weight and each of her clothes seemed a little bigger. There were times when they had to ration food and Seulgi rather keep the smaller portion. Seulgi never bend with anything and Wendy wondered when she would reach her limit

Wendy was only a month away from giving birth. It was half past twelve at night while she waited for her best friend to come back from her third and final job of the day. The door opened with a shriek and from it came an exhausted, half-dead Seulgi, Wendy almost hated herself a little more... she had thought this was ruining her life but instead, Seulgi was at the losing end

"Hi, Wan," the taller girl smiled tiredly as she got rid of her shoes at the front door. Wendy almost cried at the nostalgia of the thousand memories that single action brought her and she wanted to blame the hormones for her teary eyes "How are you? Are you feeling well?"

The range of 'feeling well' had been greatly diminished for Wendy since several months ago

"Yes, Seul. I'm okay... how was your day?"

Seulgi shrugged. The last job of her day was in a restaurant as a waitress, a restaurant so low and cheap that Seulgi had already suffered several times all kinds of harassment by some customers. The need for money (since it was the job that paid the best) was what made her cling to a metaphorical ledge with the tips of her fingers. As she walked to the chair where Wendy was sitting, she continued to smile tiredly: Seulgi had studied music and art without ever being able to work as either a painter or musician just because of the need to keep Wendy safe and comfortable

Seulgi knelt in front of Wendy and caressed the prominent stomach in the middle of both with a much brighter smile. An eye-smile that Wendy almost wanted to kiss

"And what about you, baby? You weren't much trouble today, Jungie?"

Wendy had never been loving with the life that grew inside her, that was Seulgi's job. Even the name of 'Junghee' had been the complete idea of her best friend. So now, seeing Seulgi smiling brightly as she spoke to the baby inside her, she was deluded with the idea of starting over. A dream of a family...

Would she be able to recover what she had lost? Those dreams and those illusions?

"How cute!" Seulgi giggled and looked up to find the eyes of the soon-to-be mother. "Isn't that amazing, Wen? Stay still, dwarf! Mommy doesn't like when you move so much!"

Wendy frowned as the baby kicked as she almost felt her insides turn to jelly and rubber. She had always heard pregnant mothers say that it was such a lovely thing to feel each kick of the baby and listen to their heartbeat, buy them clothes or decorate their room... but Wendy never enjoyed those things: each kick hurt her, his heartbeats stunned her, they didn't have money to buy clothes and the boy wouldn't have his own bedroom in an apartment with only two rooms

So why did she keep him? Why didn't she say 'enough' when she had the chance?

"This boy is so cute, Wen. I can't wait for him to be here so we can play and hear him laugh. Imagine how playful he is gonna be! We can put together pillow fortresses every day and paint on the walls... well, not that. I'll buy him coloring books and then I'll show him how to draw"

Wendy already knew why

She smiled gently at Seulgi's words and reached a hand to caress a cheek covered with traces of food probably the product of all the dishes she had to wash. Seulgi took her friend's hand and kissed her palm delicately

"Thank you, Seul"

"It's nothing, Wen"

"Of course it is. You don't have to do this and look at you... every day you get home exhausted, every day you have to deal with idiots and you're still here with me. Being happy"

Seulgi shook her head a couple of times with a smile that still doesn't fade from her face

"I love you, Seungwan. I have always loved you. I would do this for you one and a thousand times more"

Wendy knew those words weren't spoken just from a best friend's mouth. Seulgi had gone through the best friend stage since a long time ago and even then she had never blackmailed Wendy with that, had never screamed at her for not answering to her feelings in all this time they had  _survived_  together.

"You don't have to say anything to me" Seulgi returned to kiss the palm of her hand "Just let me stay by your side, okay? Only that"

Wendy felt like crying and, unfortunately, the lump in her throat didn't allow her to say some important words to Seulgi

* * *

Hell

That was the only word with which Wendy could describe the process of giving birth. It was grotesque, painful and stressful: the sound of the instruments, the screams of the doctors and nurses, the smell of disinfectant, the waves of pain that ripped cries and curses from each of her vocal cords, the sound of Seulgi's hand cracking under her violent grip

The cries of her son

"Congratulations Miss Son, is a beautiful boy"

"You heard that, Wen? He's just fine, he's healthy"

Wendy never thought hell would look so beautiful. She could barely keep her eyes open as tiredness and pain seized each of the limbs of her body like vultures hungry for rotting flesh. With narrowed eyes, she turned her head to look at Seulgi with a small reddish bulge in her arms covered in a yellow blanket that were a gift from Seulgi's brother just a few weeks ago. The baby was waving his hands and babbling as Seulgi's tears fell on the blanket

"Oh God, Wen... look at him, he's so small"

With slow steps, Seulgi approached the new mother and showed the baby to Wendy who felt the almost compulsive need to draw him to her and fill him with kisses because he looked so fragile and so small in Seulgi's arms. He looked so helpless and vulnerable... she wanted to keep him in a bubble where no one will ever touch him or hurt him, where he would never have to go through half of the barbarities that had happened to her in the last few months

Wendy suddenly remembered her mother. That woman who cared for and protected her since she was very small, the woman who infected her with a passion for baking and the habit of taking care of others. The woman who was more than ten years dead after a horrible disease took her away from Wendy's side. Surely now, her mother would be happy to see her with this little being in her arms

"He's beautiful," Wendy whispered and leaned a little to kiss him on the patch of black hair on his head. "He is so beautiful"

Seulgi chuckled in the middle of her tears. Wendy turned her head and their eyes met. Many times before they had met each other's eyes but for some reason this day she could feel a connection that went beyond friendship, a connection that Wendy could finally call 'soulmates'.

With what remained of her strength, Wendy reached a hand towards Seulgi. The slightly taller girl leaned toward her best friend and closed her eyes when she felt a caress on her cheek.

"I love you, Seul..."

Seulgi opened her eyes in surprise for a couple of moments before letting herself crumble in tears, sobs shaking her body like a violent tide hitting the rocks. Wendy could only smile a little more, even her smile felt heavy at this moment

"Me too, Wen. You have no idea how much I love you"

The clouds were scattered over the gray sky that covered Wendy and Seulgi and left them depressed for more than the nine months. Seulgi struggled to get a job as a composer and fame had emerged a few months after Junghee was born when out of sheer curiosity one of her compositions had gone up on the Internet and the response it had was incredibly positive

The love of both girls continued to grow

And within a year, that love was translated into a very simple word: marriage

The preparations for the wedding had been a little hasty, they thought about marrying a couple of months after Junghee's birthday number one, during the summer, but Seulgi opted to shorten the time to only two months and get married in spring. Her reasons? A work proposal as composer of a label When? Exactly in the summer and she thought it would be a good idea for her and Wendy to be married at that time. Wendy was almost completely sure the real intentions was to wear a ring during the meetings for a contract

They decided to make the wedding in an open place: a large green meadow with leafy trees adding to the natural scenery here and there and with enough space for several guests. Lamps and white garlands hung from the trees' branches just above the tables covered in red tablecloths with vases full of white carnations and red roses. Right in the middle of the meadow was a long red carpet with white details that lead up to the altar. The altar had a huge arch crossing from side to side and the entire structure was decorated with the same white carnations and red roses.

It was exactly one hour before the wedding and most of the guests had already arrived, including three special girls.

Just weeks before they had decided (with an honorable and very serious rock-paper-scissors game) that Sooyoung would be Wendy's bridesmaid while Yeri and Joohyun would go with Seulgi. The three girls chose to wear a tight, strapless red dress up to their knees with heels of the same color and they were sitting at one of the tables closest to the altar, all joking about the outfits the rest of the guests had. Joohyun had the little Junghee sitting in her lap, the baby slept like an angel despite all the noise

They continued joking until suddenly Seulgi appeared. She was dressed in a white dress similar to that of the bridesmaids with the exception that hers went all the way to her calf and was white. Her hair was loose and reached to her shoulders while her monolid eyes had been perfectly delineated and her lips covered with a dark red lipstick. As soon as her friends saw her they began to whistle and shout at how beautiful she looked making one of the main hostess smile

"Wow!" Shouted Sooyoung "People do change when they bathe!"

"Just one day" Seulgi raised her index finger and closed her eyes "I'm only asking for one day for you to shut the hell up"

"You look amazing, unnie!" Yeri got up from her chair ran to give her a hug that Seulgi didn't hesitate to answer

They both held each other while Seulgi continued talking

"Does anyone of you know how long it'll take for everything to start?" There was an evident nervousness in her voice.

"About twenty minutes, unnie" replied Sooyoung "Are you nervous?"  
   
"Her voice shakes like a leaf!" Said Joohyun. "For God sake Seulgi, it's just Wendy. You won't see anything you haven't seen before"

"Except if Wendy-unnie comes naked" Sooyoung said with a malicious smirk on her face "That is SOMETHING she never saw before"

The whole table erupted in laughter once again, even Yeri couldn't contain herself even though she hugged Seulgi to calm her nervousness. Seulgi could only blush and get her distance from Yeri's embrace to look towards the altar. Soon she would be there, in front of the woman she loved the most, telling her how much shw was going to protect her and how happy they would be... just thinking about it made her smile but at the same time tremble with fear, what if she forgot her vows? What if ahe dropped the ring? What if she fainted like in those funny videos that came out on television?

"By the way" the hostess came back to the table and pointed to her fiancée's maid of honor "What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be helping Wendy?"

Sooyoung grimaced, feeling slightly offended by Seulgi's comment.

"If I'm here, it's because I already helped my unnie, she was more anxious than you" the girl replied leaning over the table "She called for help since four hours ago"

"Four hours?!" Seulgi shouted with wide eyes "God... and I thought two hours was a lot"

Just as they were still talking about the nervousness of both women, some of the guests shouted that the bride was already close. Yeri immediately arranged Seulgi's dress and makeup and then pushed her towards the altar. Seulgi got into position, playing with her hands behind her back as she turned to look at the front of the big carpet... a luxurious white car slowly parked while the guests stood up and watched the scene

The driver came down from the pilot's door and opened the back door slowly. Seulgi swallowed. Wendy got out of the car and held the driver's extended hand to help her. Her wedding dress was long, strapless without showing too much, the neckline had several flower designs, the tail was wide and wavy of a translucent veil. She had combined it with a pair of white heels and a small crown of flowers that matched her dress. Her makeup wasn't too heavy: her lips were accented by a pink lipstick, her cheeks highlighted by a slight blush and her eyes softly outlined in black without any shadow. Seulgi felt her breath caught up in her throat

Both exchanged glances. Wendy smiled widely and full of confidence, Seulgi smirked

Finally, Wendy arrived at the altar together with Seulgi's father (who had offered to replace Wendy's father) and handed the hand of his daughter-in-law to her daughter in what could be the oldest ritual of a wedding. Seulgi reached her hand to Wendy and she took it with a shy smile, almost nervous and Seulgi wouldn't blame her. The three girls shouted: 'So cute!' 'You look beautiful together!' 'Seulgi-unnie, you're so whipped!' But Seulgi couldn't hear any voices around her, it all had become a void dark space and only Wendy mattered.  
   
Wendy giggled, covering her mouth with both hands

"You look beautiful" whispered Seulgi, not wanting the rest of the audience to find out about their conversation, this woman was supposed to be hers and no one else's, she didn't want to share with the world for even a second.

"Shut up, Seul" Wendy replied with a wicked smile "You'll end up drooling my dress"

The guests took their seats and immediately began the ceremony. Everything was going to be quite brief since neither of them wanted to do the typical religious ritual even though they had chosen to make a western wedding (completely influenced by Seulgi's parents, who despite being Korean had fallen in love with the rather excentric celebrations of the west). However, despite skipping most of the religious rite there was no way for them to skip the rings and vows  
   
"Good" the judge who was marrying them spoke "It's time to say your vows"

Sooyoung and Yeri ran to the altar with the box of rings and handed them to each of their best friends before going back to their seats. Seulgi took her ring with trembling hands and Wendy couldn't help but laugh, even the judge seemed a little amused at what he was seeing

Seulgi took a long breath

"I..." Seulgi let out a breathy sigh and the audience laughed out loud. This was the moment that the tallest girl worked so hard for the past few months, she had to remember every word perfectly. "I, Kang Seulgi, accept you, Son Seungwan as my friend, my soul mate and my wife. I promise to take care of you, protect you and praise you all the days of my life, in good and bad times: when the lights start to dim, I'll guide you through darkness, if you don't have a dime to your name I'll still love you and if the world falls apart, when all the chaos goes by, I'll take you by the hand and build a place for us together. I hope you love me the same"

The audience chanted a small 'aww' as soon as Seulgi finished with her vows. Seulgi placed the ring on Wendy's ring finger with a smile and the young woman just alternated her gaze from the ring to the dark eyes of her almost-wife. Wendy had prepared a rather superficial speech, after all she didn't believe that the vows reflected the true feelings of people, however the way in which Seulgi acted made her realize how much her best friend loved her. Wendy took the other ring with her own hands and slid it around Seulgi's finger while she started to improvise a couple of new words

"I, Son Seungwan, accept you, Kang Seulgi as the light of my days, my dawn and my wife. In sickness and in health. I promise to protect and guide you every day of my life: when gold starts to rust and times become suffocating, even if diamonds vanish and we only have coal. Regardless of what life send, hurricanes or spring days, I'll stay by your side and love you. Every day, I'll love you the same"

Once again there was a response from the audience, Wendy didn't pay attention, she only cared for Seulgi's reaction. The black-haired girl was about to cry and she hid it behind a broken but beautiful smile. Both held hands and stared at the two pieces of metal shining incessantly on their ring fingers

"Now that you're happily married, the brides may kiss"

Seulgi almost breathed a sigh of relief at hearing those words because she held back from kissing Wendy for more than half an hour. Wendy wrapped her arms around her neck as she stood on tiptoes, leaving a long, tender kiss on her lips. Seulgi answered (making sure to stop before things got heated) and soon the audience exploded with joy and a powerful applause. Now they were finally marriwd

After a few minutes of greeting everyone and receiving a million hugs, the celebration began. The party was bursting around, everyone was excited as they enjoyed the background music and ate with the other guests. Seulgi was sitting at the table they had prepared especially for her and her wife. In front of her, the food was served and a glass of wine looked tasty. Wendy went to change to a more comfortable dress and Seulgi could only wait for her, while she wasn't at her side, she could care less about food

She took the wine glass to her lips sipped slightly from it, barely getting her lips wet. The fiery taste slid down her tongue and throat... it was exquisite. She took the glass again and turned her wrist slightly to mix the contents, whoever had invested in such a good wine just done a great job. Her gaze went up to their guests: friends from high school and college, Sooyoung, Joohyun and Yeri took care of some guests, her father and brother attended to some of their own guests and laughed as they talked with them, her mother had gone to help Wendy

Seulgi sighed. In the depths of her soul she still hoped that Wendy's father would appear at the party. He was all that was left to her wife besides Junghee. After a disease took her mother away when she was barely seven years old, her father had devoted his body and soul to teach her everything about life and raise her to become a respectable and strong woman. Her father had been overprotective but at the end of the day he just wanted the best for her. Seulgi wanted Wendy's father to understand that they were just trying to be happy and said happiness was only at each other side, even if they weren't rich

When she was about to take another drink from her glass, she felt a pair of arms tangling around neck from behind and then a kiss on her cheek

"What makes you so thoughtful, wifey?" Wendy's voice sounded like a thousand heavenly bells. Now the young woman was wearing a white dress up to her knees, her hair (wavy, running up to her shoulders) and makeup remained the same. Seulgi smiled widely and took one of Wendy's hands before the girl sat next to her in an empty chair.

"Nothing, love... just silly ideas"

"Does it have anything to do with marrying me?"

Seulgi giggled

"Of course not, baby, it has to do with the fact that your father isn't here, it's one of the most important days of your life and his pride doesn't let him be here. I know I shouldn't stick my nose in this but...I would love to make you happy with that"

Seulgi caressed Wendy's cheek when she saw how her gaze was depressed. It broke her heart that Wendy tried to hide her emotions so as not to worry her. Now that they would share their lives, she had to help her to open up and show her that her problems were shared and that she wasn't alone. However, right now wasn't time to cry, they had to smile and enjoy. Wendy only shook her a couple of times to downplay the matter

Wendy pulled Seulgi towards her and kissed her lips briefly. The wine flavor made her licks her lips

"I love how you taste" Wendy smiled

"Oh, really?" Seulgi continued the game as she leaned towards her wife and was just inches away from her lips "Do you want to try again? I wouldn't mind"

"You damn greaseball, how can I blush with these stupid things? That's supposed to be my job." Wendy punched her on the shoulder before kissing her again

The kiss became a passionate fight of lips and light sighs with the bitter taste of wine in the middle of both. Wendy tangled her fingers in Seulgi's hair and gave a slight tug to show that they should stop but her wife only took it as a sign of arousal and continued the rough sharing of caresses.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made the pair jump

Joohyun watched them from afar with a funny expression as she pointed to the impromptu ballroom the guests just made. Seulgi raised an eyebrow while Wendy only blushed

"They are about to start the dance" Joohyun raised her voice in the middle of the noise "They want you to be first so stop eating each other and go to the party"

Both women danced slowly at the sound of a waltz played on piano. The rest of the guests ate and had fun while the newlyweds forgot about the world. Wendy hugged Seulgi by the waist with her head resting on her chest and Seulgi wrapped her arms around her body. They weren't dancing with rhythm, they just wanted to keep up with that soft and gentle contact. Like running their hands on velvet

Suddenly, Seulgi felt a hand on her shoulder. As she turned her body she found an older man, his hair and beard silvered by the passage of time. He was wearing a black suit with a blue tie and he looked angry... maybe it was just the features because his words sounded much softer

He was Wendy's father

"Can I dance with my daughter, Seulgi?"

Seulgi awkwardly nodded as she walked away from Wendy who was as confused as she was, her mouth open. The man took his daughter by the waist with one hand while the other tangled their hands and began to dance to the music

"What are you doing here, dad?" Wendy spoke softly, with confusion "How did you find out?"

"Your wife is a great woman" the man smiled as he looked at his daughter "And you are lucky to have her by your side as much as she is for having you... she told me what happened: the days without eating, how much she works for you, how happy you are now. I couldn't stay angry for long when things were like that and even more when my only daughter is getting married"

Wendy felt like crying and controlled herself because happiness was greater than melancholy.

She hugged her father with strength

"Thanks for coming, dad... thanks"

"If some day I told you I wouldn't support you, girl... I lied. Seulgi is more than enough for you and that's why I want to propose something so she and your son can be happy"

Wendy looked up, she felt so small being like this with her father

"What is it?"

"Come to work for my company"

* * *

Patience is a virtue, at least that's what people says. For Wendy and Seulgi, patience had saved them from destruction and from a very, very slow descent into mutual and self-hatred, false happiness just to maintain an image

Wendy watched Seulgi in the living room of their houae building the 'tallest block tower in the world' with Junghee on her shoulders carrying a small box full of said blocks, placing each one with a precision worthy of a surgeon and surprising for a child his age: just five years

If people told Wendy five years ago that things would improve and that she would be happy, she would never have believed it. Looking at her past only made her feel proud of her present. Wendy now worked in her father's company, a small musical instrument business with some stores around different cities growing each day. Seulgi was having success with the contract at the label and her songs were beginning to be recognized, she was applauded by the critics for her great lyric ability and the different musical genres she handled

They built their house in a place away from the city with a backyard large enough for Junghee to run and grow as much as he wanted, as high as heaven if possible because Wendy and Seulgi wished with all their might that Junghee knew happiness much more than them

Because yes, Junghee was  _their_  son

"Teddy!" Junghee complained from Seulgi's shoulders, The 'Teddy' came from 'Teddy Bear' a sudden nickname that Junghee used on Seulgi for her round ears and, citing, for being too 'fluffy' "Can you stretch a little bit more? I can't reach!"

"Jungie, it looks pretty high for me" Seulgi pouted

"You say that because you're short!"

"Yah!"

Wendy almost laughed out loud until she heard the sound of the doorbell on the front door. Ignoring the discussion of her two loves in the room, she ran to attend whoever was out there. At mid-day, she didn't expect it to be someone other than the postman

But behind that door was the one to whom she shouted she would never need him. Never. Ever

Junghee's father

"Hey" The man greeted in the most casual way, as if he was a neighbor who just moved into the house next door "Wendy? Remember me? It's been so long since we've seen each other"

Wendy was speechless, she remained cold in the door still with the handle in her hand. Seulgi and Junghee noticed the silence and the almost unknown voice of that man so they immediately went to see what was happening

"Mommy! Come and see the tow-! Mommy?"

"What the hell is that man doing here?" Seulgi spoke in a cold voice as her hands unconsciously held the little boy's legs tighter on her shoulders. Her expression had filled with rage while the man looked as confused as the two women. Junghee tilted his head like a curious puppy and looked at the man at the door

"Who is he, mommy?"

Wendy turned to look at her son trying to answer his question and forcing her throat to articulate some sound known to mankind.

"Jungie... he is-"

"I'm your dad! You never told him about me, Wendy?"

Seulgi took Junghee in her arms and placed him carefully on the ground while clenching her fists and trying to control the animal side that suddenly emerged from the darkest corner of her being. She didn't want to give a bad example of how problems must be solved, but that guy was doing everything humanly possible to grind her gears

"Dad?" Junghee grimaced and shook his head frantically. "I don't have a dad. I only have Mommy and Teddy, her name is Seulgi but I call her Teddy... Mommy, is the man looking for his family?"

_Ha! Poor loser!_

"Wow" the man looked offended "You really never told him about me"

Wendy frowned, finally able to create an emotion in her body but Seulgi was faster and ended up answering the truth behind everything

"How was she going to talk about you if you didn't want him?"

The man tried to enter the house but Wendy prevented it. She almost closed the door in his face, barely missing from catching his hand between the door frame and the wood

"What are you doing here, Seulgi? This doesn't concern you"

"Seulgi is my wife" Wendy intervened quickly "Junghee is our son and you have nothing to do here. Turn around and go"

"It's my son, Wendy. Of course I care! Did you just say that…Seulgi is your wife?!"

"Go away. Now" Wendy took her phone from the pockets of her pants "If you don't do it, I'll call the police, get out of here"

The man looked at the three with a grudge but immediately raised her hands and nodded, leaving without saying more. Wendy closed the door with a lock and let out a long sigh of frustration... what the hell had happened to her there? She couldn't let the confusion control her like this or next time she would end up making a mistake that could cost her happiness along with what she loved.

"How did he find out where we live?" Seulgi took Junghee in her arms, placing him on her shoulders again. "What the hell does he want?"

Wendy sighed again

"Just forget it, Seulgi"

Exactly three days after the surprise the man had given them, Wendy found him again.

This time he went to the store where Wendy worked.

"What do you want? Money?" Wendy talked to the man in the store's cellar, in the middle of musical instruments and spare parts for each one of them. She tried to give more privacy to the conversation thinking that maybe that way the guy could finally talk and express his true desires "Why did you come back?"

"Wendy... I just want to see my son"

"After five years? Really?"

"You don't understand, I try to be a good father. I'm a coach in a basketball team at college and I'm doing quite well... if I didn't accept him before was because I didn't have opportunities for our son but now I can give him everything he needs"

"Listen. Junghee didn't need a father in five years and I don't think he needs one now. Seulgi and I can give him what he needs"

"Just let me be part of his life... let me solve my mistakes. Do you think I'm coming to get you back? Of course not... I don't care that you're now dating a woman or that my son doesn't see me as a father. I just want another chance, just give me another chance"

Wendy didn't know why the hell she got convinced

"Okay"

But she did

"You what?!" Seulgi complained to Wendy one day at night in the comfort of the room they shared. Junghee was sleeping peacefully in his own room and both women had decided to talk about the situation. Seulgi didn't feel very comfortable with the decision "Wen... why? I'm really trying to find the right reason for what you did"

"Seul, please... enough" Wendy lay on her side of the bed and covered herself with the blankets. Seulgi was standing on a side of the mattress with her hands on her waist, a few meters from where she was supposed to sleep "I need your support in this"

"I would help you if that bastard had enough evidence to prove he's a good father"

"Seulgi, you don't understand" Wendy sighed and sat on the bed making her points quite clear "Junghee needs a father to guide him. There are things we can't give him. He said he just wanted to be a good father and give him a good life. There's nothing wrong with Junghee living with him and telling us if he wants to be by his father side or not"

The composer sighed and flopped down on her side of the bed. She still believed that Wendy's reasoning wasn't very good but she didn't want to fight. Wendy suddenly got rid of her blanket and straddled Seulgi, filling her face with little kisses that slowly went down to her neck and made the composer sigh under her body

"I just want the best for Jungie" Wendy whispered "I know you do it too"

Seulgi couldn't answer anything before Wendy's kiss sealed her lips forever. She was left wanting to say that she was also Junghee's mother and deserved to choose an option

* * *

The days passed one after the other

Junghee's father visited him frequently

Wendy received him with open arms

Junghee still wasn't close to the man but at least it worked every time he went to the park with his father HE always came back safe and sound. Smiling because he had known a facet of himself that he had never seen before

Seulgi still hates the man

But the composer hadn't hit bottom until a certain day

Junghee was sitting in the living room of the house, his face dull and sad. Seulgi was about to start cooking while Wendy took off the clean clothes from the clotheslines. The composer saw the expression of her son and approached him carefully

"What's wrong, Jungie? Long day?"

"It's not that... I wanted to play basketball but dad is busy today and he can't go out with me to the park"

Seulgi giggled and kissed her son's forehead

"Don't worry, dwarf. I'll take you to the park. We can play baseball there"

The boy's eyes lit up like two headlights in the middle of the night. Wendy came into the house with the basket of clean clothes hugged tightly in both hands and walked to the scene in front of her

"What are you planning, babes?"

"Teddy is going to take me to the park to play baseball!"

"At this time? But you're supposed to go out with your dad"

Junghee shook his head

"Dad said he couldn't today. Teddy will take me"

"Oh no, let me call your father and solve this. He said he would take you to the park and he will do it"

Seulgi frowned and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched Wendy place the clean laundry basket on a couch and hurry to the landline phone set high enough so Junghee couldn't make any pranks with it

"Hey, Wen. Don't bother... I'll take him. I finished the composition yesterday and today I'm free. I have days without playing with him"

Wendy turned her head to look at her with the phone in one hand, her eyes reflecting a certain mockery... as if she was telling Seulgi everything she needed to end the hope inside her heart

"Seul... there are things you can't do for him. You can't replace his dad"

Seulgi felt useless, pathetic. The worst there could be in the world. She was out of her family, her own family. Wendy managed to contact the man and within half an hour he was already at home picking up an excited Junghee who suddenly forgot the tempting proposal of his beloved 'Teddy'

Seulgi left the house that same day and went to a bar. It wasn't luxurious, it wasn't up to the needs of the great composer Kang Seulgi but it was enough to take the ideas from her head and make her lose herself in her pain: Wendy tried to replace her... how could she? That man had no right to come back out of nowhere and steal his family... he couldn't, he shouldn't. It wasn't fair

Wendy was giving her a gentle stab in the back

The alcohol wasn't enough to drown her sorrows, the tobacco barely took away the bitter taste in her mouth

So she opted for something stronger. Something that will at least erase her memory for a couple of moments. She was never in favor of drugs but in her desperation she couldn't see any other option to erase the emptiness in her soul, so, guided by a dealer, she snorted her first line at the bar counter and brought home enough for two more in a small plastic bag, safely kept inside her pockets

By sheer miracle she came home safe and sound. All the lights were off and everyone was asleep. In the midst of her euphoric state she didn't realize the keys to the house made noise when they opened the door and that would certainly alert Wendy. Seulgi walked to the kitchen and took the small plastic bag from her pockets

Her phone fell to the floor when she took out the bag and instead of paying attention to the drug, she stared at her phone wallpaper.

It was a picture taken with Wendy not so long ago. Her wife kissed her cheek while Seulgi had an arm around her waist and held the phone with the hand that was free. Seulgi doesn't remember very well what the hell they were doing that day but she can remember Wendy's lips on her skin and how her hands felt hugging her, the warmth of her body and the feeling of protection that never left her while they were together

Tears began to splinter his eyes without falling

Who should she blame? God for arranging all the pieces so that her life would go to hell? That guy for coming back and trying to steal what she had built? Herself for merging into a false exit?

Wendy because she didn't even dare to listen to her?

No one was completely guilty of her current situation. Nobody except her

And that only made her feel worse

She hated herself for not having enough self-control and not trying to change

But she want to feel the pain in her soul every time she remembered Wendy giving all kind of comforts to that man and ignoring her to a distant point. Using the excuse that 'she wasn't enough'

Drawing two lines of cocaine on the kitchen table, she made sure it was enough and leaned over to snort the first one. Her heartbeat echoed in her ears and pierced her chest while the drug made effect ... she felt the adrenaline rush running through her body and shook her head a little to return to reality

She still felt the pain in her chest but it seemed numb

Seulgi repeated the process with the second line and the effects increased, throwing her head back almost moaning. Finally she could forget everything that hurt her

"Oh my God, Seulgi..."

Wendy's voice made her feel like a monster. No matter how drugged she was, the voice of her beloved wife would always echo in her mind

Looking up, she found Wendy covering her mouth to stop her sobs from being heard and waking Junghee. Seulgi only had the audacity to shake her nose to remove the remaining powder.

"How could you…? How could you do this...? Oh God, Seulgi"

_It's your damn fault, Son Seungwan_

_It's not your fault. Kang Seulgi_

_No…is YOUR fault, Kang fucking Seulgi_

"I want you to leave this house tomorrow morning. I don't care what the hell you put an excuse, tomorrow... tomorrow you get out of here"

Seulgi looked at the table, she didn't have enough consciousness to argue. However, there was still a conscious part shouting for Junghee, for her beloved son

"What will happen to our son? Can I see him?"

Wendy seemed surprised to hear that, as if she didn't believe that Seulgi would be able to think of Junghee. Seulgi didn't know how to feel about that thought... Wendy really believed that Junghee was nothing to her? What made her believe that his asshole father was a better person than her?

"I don't know"

Wendy left, still sobbing and almost dragging her feet to her room. Seulgi stared at the empty plastic bag and the table with traces of white powder.

If someone had told Seulgi that things would improve five years ago, she would have spit in their faces

Because everything was the same


	19. ...and then, she showed up III

On the other side of the city, Seulgi finished installing in her new apartment.

It was surprisingly easy to find a new place to live and the owner of the building hadn't given her a single excuse to rent her the hellhole she would live in from now on. He hadn't even asked her questions about what a woman like her was doing in a place that smelled of urine and weed twenty-four hours a day. He only asked for an advance rent payment and Seulgi didn't hesitate to give that to him.

A simple room of medium size with a dining room, an electric stove, a bed with the consistency of a cardboard box and a bathroom full of rust and tartar. Seulgi almost wanted to scream in despair and it wasn't about the state in which she found her new home but to the fact that she had completely forgotten what it was like to live in such a place: the last time had been exactly four years ago when Junghee was very small and she had to work in three different places to help Wendy with the enormous expense of having a child. She thought she forgot about those memories. Damn, how much she wanted to forget them.

She wasn't going to romanticize things and say that despite how much they lacked, they were happy because she would be lying. At that time they weren't happy and worked in 'autopilot' mode. Wendy had lost her optimism and sweetness and Seulgi had fallen into bed more than once because of the stress she felt. But Junghee had made them come out of that dark hole in their lives, Junghee and the love they discovered

Seulgi wasn't happy at that time but just at that moment she had discovered what true happiness was. And for that little reason, she would go through hell all over again

Seulgi left her suitcase forgotten at one point of the room and she fell on the bed without thinking she could break it because the damn thing had more than twenty years of existence (and maybe twelve without changing the mattress or blankets). She looked at the ceiling and its paint corroded for what seemed like hours trying to plan how everything would be from now on. How much was she going to miss out on her son's life?

Seulgi forgot that Junghee wasn't her son

The mere thought of that twisted her insides and made her blood burn in flames. That's all Wendy was missing, saying that Junghee wasn't her son after the hell and a half they went through since the day they graduated until the day they got their first job offer.

Her phone started ringing. With a grimace of annoyance Seulgi got up to take it from inside the suitcase she had full of her clothes before she left the house she shared with Wendy

"Hello?"

_"Unnie. Is Yeri, are you okay? I've been calling for two days but you never answered"_

Yerim. Sweet and loving Yerimie. Surely she was back in the country, the girl lived as a globetrotter traveling around the world as a writer and composer. She was doing as good (or even better) than Seulgi and, to inspire herself, she visited as many countries as possible before coming back home for a season and embodying all her inspiration in music and paper.

"Sorry, I wasn't feeling very well"

_"Where are you? I came to look for you at your house but your Mercedes isn't there. Maybe we can have a coffee to catch up"_

Seulgi let out a long sigh, so much she even felt she was exaggerating

"Long story short, I no longer live there Yerimie"

There was a silence, too brief to be considered awkward

_"Send me your new address, unnie. I'll go there"_

The call ended and Seulgi looked at the ceiling with the falling paint for a moment and then picked up her phone to send Yeri the new address. She wasn't in the mood for visitors, not even for those she was sure would be worth it to help heal her wounds and drain her aching heart of guilt. She just wanted to sleep... sleep enough to forget everything

It was about an hour before Seulgi heard someone knocking on the door of the old apartment. She had fallen asleep and, in the midst of her drowsiness, she could hardly process where the sound came from. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and dragged her feet towards the door, opening without noticing who was behind it

"Oh damn, unnie... you look like shit"

Typical (and worthy) of Yerim. Seulgi let out an empty laugh

"Really? I expected it"

Yerim had changed a lot since the last time Seulgi had seen her, on the day she married Wendy. At that time Yeri was just a girl with many dreams but also with many fears, she played too much and took so few things with the necessary seriousness that sometimes was even mandatory. Her hair was short, up to her jaw, dark in color and she was dressed in casual clothes: a white sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers. In one of her hands she carried a plastic bag full of something and she lifted it up in the air to show it to her beloved unnie

Seulgi felt her eyes fill with tears at the presence of Yerim. Partly because of the fragility she felt and partly because of how much the little girl had grown up

"It's beer, I also brought some ramen" Yeri smiled "I assume you need to talk, unnie"

Two ramen bowls later, Yeri was lying on Seulgi's cardboard bed while the owner of the apartment was sitting on the floor right next to the bed. The pile of beer cans became larger as the hours went by, both had already lost track of time but not of themselves.

"What happened, unnie?" Yeri asked in a soft voice "Why do not you live with Wendy-unnie anymore?"

"She found me snorting coke at home and kicked me out. She said she didn't want to see how I destroyed the family" Seulgi said the last line between gritted teeth and drowned her bitterness in a gulp of beer "She had the nerve to say that after she accepted Junghee's father"

"Wait ... Junghee's father? You mean the boyfriend who got her pregnant and then ran away?"

"That one"

"Wow... what the hell went through Wendy-unnie's mind?"

Seulgi choose not to answer anything about it. She herself hadn't the slightest idea how the hell she must answer that question. She was drunk, damn it. Her brain didn't work well

"Snorting coke, Wendy-unnie taking that idiot back... what's happened since we left?"

Seulgi reacted again little by little. Now she remembered the sweet and loving Yeri was ready to marry in just a few more months. Wendy and Seulgi had received the invitation just a few months ago

"Where is your fiancee, Yeri-ah?" Seulgi murmured as she opened a new beer and took a slow sip. The beers were starting to warm up and the sweet bitter taste was getting lost with time

"She is looking for your wife, unnie" Yeri giggled "Sooyoung practically begged me to come and see Wendy-unnie in the middle of all the planning for our wedding. She is determined to make her her bridesmaid"

Seulgi drank the beer almost in one gulp and threw the flattened can towards a point of the tight space of her apartment. It's been so long since they had this kind of talk, this was like taking a breath of clean air early in the morning. Hearing her talk like that, about weddings and plans, about her future and her happiness... Seulgi felt nostalgia. Yeri changed the subject

"When we stopped doing this, unnie?" Yeri took a drink from her beer, it was barely the second and she was already losing interest in it "Since you got married?"

"Nah" Seulgi made a gesture with her hand and then opened her eyes, surprised when she realized that, in fact, they haven't met since all that time ago "Fuck you're right... since I got married"

Yeri laughed, her scandalous cackle echoing between the empty walls of the room

"I told you, it's been... like four years"

"That's an eternity"

"Yeah… what have you done in all that time other than living in this hellhole, unnie?"

Seulgi took another beer from the nearest table and took a long drink before answering. "I've been working as a composer at a record label, I'm doing pretty well and the producers are always happy to work with me... right now I just finished a song but I'm in the process of composing a new one, it's just for my so-" Seulgi interrupted she realized what she was about to say and Wendy's words echoed in her mind "For Junghee"

Yeri whistled and then reached her hand to ask for another beer. Seulgi passed it without problem although it remained closed, the temperature was no longer the most pleasable

"That's great, unnie. It's almost what I've been doing... traveling around Europe with Sooyoung is also entertaining. She's full of work, you know? She made use of her free time to get here"

"She's a model, Yeri-ah... it would almost be strange if she has a season without work and more with how beautiful she is" Yeri just nodded, opened the beer and took a drink, letting the alcohol rest a little on her body before taking a new drink. Things were changing little by little and the future Yeri once imagined with her fiancée became brighter, it was sad that it wasn't so good for the rest of her  _sisters_

"I almost don't believe it" Seulgi continued "I can't believe that yesterday Sooyoung, you and I were drawing dicks in the principal's car and now you're about to get married"

"We finally matured, unnie" Yeri said between laughs

"Oh come on, 'Sooyoung, Yeri and matured' is an impossible combination... I guess adult life hit you like a train"

Yeri threw her can towards the pile that had already grown enough to sit on it

"Do you remember the day we arrived covered in salad and ranch dressing?" Yeri asked with a smirk and Seulgi let out a long laugh while covering her mouth with the hand that didn't hold the beer

"That day was fantastic! Even Joohyun-unnie joined the food fight! Then they were making fun of me for wearing the McDonald's uniform... that has to be the second happiest day of my life."

"The second?" Yeri raised an eyebrow, surprised by the emphasis her unnie put on those words "Which one is the first?"

Seulgi's smile quickly faded and replaced into an expression full of pain. Right then, Yeri knew she hit at a very sensitive spot of her best friend

"The first one was... when I married Wendy"

Hee voice had barely been a whisper, her eyes crystallized and she squeezed the beer can in her hand so hard that the contents shot out like a fountain. Yeri wanted to get out of bed and hug her but she knew this moment was only for her friend, this moment was the right moment to let out the frustration and pain of knowing those days would never come back because she had ruined them. There wasn't any kind of alcohol in the world that could erase guilt

"Unnie, I've known you for my whole life, you don't have to hold yourself with me"

Seulgi brought a hand to her face and tried to cover it as she sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks and drowning in them as she let the guilt cover her body once more. She had promised Wendy that she would change but that wasn't going to erase what she had done before, she wasn't going to erase the scars or the poison. Nothing would be the same no matter how she tried to fix it

"My life was a hurricane, Yerim, I didn't know where the hell I was going or what I had to do, my family wasn't with me while I was starting high school and I didn't have anyone..." Seulgi said between sobs, it was difficult to understand what she just said but Yeri managed to get it "My life was a hurricane and then, she showed up... she showed up and fixed everything, she healed my wounds and I fell in love... I can't believe that I destroyed the only good thing I had in my life"

Seulgi kept crying hard. Yeri thought about the words of her beloved older sister and tried not to imagine herself in that place, She prayed that she'll never had that much pain in her heart. Joohyun had told her that right now she was on a kind of 'honeymoon' with Sooyoung where she didn't see any flaws just virtues. Yeri perhaps selfishly hoped that, at some point in her marriage, she would never be in Seulgi's place

Seulgi wiped her tears after a few minutes and finished a can of beer until she was completely silent.

"I still love her Yeri, I love her like you have no idea and I feel like I would do everything to make her happy but right now I hate her so much... I hate her more than I love her and it scares me so much"

Yeri forgot everything and got out of bed to sit right next to Seulgi and lay her head on her shoulder, trying to give her some of the love she deserved and that she couldn't get anywhere.

* * *

Sooyoung knocked on the door of Wendy's house a couple of times. She didn't get an answer but, behind the door, she heard the sound of little feet tapping on the tiles too excited to receive whoever was behind the door.

The door opened, Junghee looked at Sooyoung with a big pout while the woman went down to his level and stared at him. The last time Sooyoung had seen Junghee he was a baby and now, with his slightly more defined features, he looked like a real copy of Wendy. The little one still had an expression of sadness in his face

"Hi, baby." Sooyoung greeted him with a smile. "Is Mommy at home?"

"Jungie, who are you talking to, lo-? Sooyoung-ah?!"

Sooyoung looked up and found Wendy almost running to the door with an expression of happiness very different from that of her little clone. Sooyoung smiled and extended her arms to hug her beloved unnie. Junghee looked at the scene with her head tilted to one side and dark brown eyes full of curiosity. Sooyoung and Wendy greeted each other euphorically and he felt a little out of place... Teddy had told him that young children don't always understand adults and that is why sometimes they could do things that seemed strange. The embrace of both women was brief, however, and Sooyoung went back to Junghee's level

She was a beautiful woman (not as much as Teddy or her mom) and her smile was gentle and warm. Her hair was painted red, she was covered in a brown coat with black pants and shoes. The fierceness of her hair didn't match the warmth of her eyes and Junghee immediately felt confident even when he had no memory of her. When Sooyoung placed her hands on his waist and waited for a moment, Junghee let himself be rised up in the air and received, with a smug smile, the kiss on his cheek

"Oh, you've grown up! The last time I saw you, you were as little as a puppy"

Junghee giggled and played with his fingers nervously

"I'm not little anymore. I'm five years old" his little hand showed his open palm to Sooyoung who opened her eyes wide, as if she really looked at a real wonder "Teddy says that soon I'll have to use both hands to count my birthdays"

"Teddy?" Sooyoung tilted her head to the side, almost copying Junghee's gesture "Who's Teddy, baby?"

"It's Seulgi" Wendy replied suddenly with a not very friendly expression "He never calls her by her name"

Sooyoung didn't notice the change of expression in her unnie and, if she did, she tried not to make the problem bigger so as not to disturb the little boy in her arms who smiled from ear to ear and looked very excited at the mention of Seulgi. Junghee soon asked to be put on the ground and ran out into the backyard probably willing to improve his baseball techniques. Sooyoung quickly felt at home and sat on the nearest couch in the living room while Wendy brought her coffee

"What are you doing here, Sooyoungie?" Wendy asked in a loving way as Sooyoung took the cup and brought it to her lips giving it a small sip

"Well... I getting married in a couple of months, unnie, remember?" Sooyoung showed her hand with an engagement ring made of fine gemstones and other jewelry. "I wanted you to be my bridesmaid. Yerimie is talking to Seulgi-unnie about that too so... I didn't want to leave you out"

Wendy giggled and nodded a couple of times. She remembered perfectly the day on which she had received the invitation for the party of Satan's and it's advocate. Wendy, pretty much like her wife, couldn't believe what she was reading and even laughed out loud. Now, when she saw Sooyoung drinking coffee in such an elegant way, wearing that fashionable outfit, she realized that she had grown too much. Much more than she thought... five years had felt like five decades

"Did you travel all the way from Europe just to tell me that?"

"Partially yes, unnie but actually I already missed home... I wanted to see you and Seulgi-unnie. Where is she, by the way? Yerimie went to look for her but didn't tell me anything about it"

Wendy sighed and took the spoon inside her own cup of coffee, turning it without fatigue to try and kickstart her brain to give the best possible explanation without bursting into tears. Pushing away her emotions, Wendy started

"I found her snorting coke on the kitchen table. I'm not going to let her ruin Junghee or our marriage just for that"

Sooyoung looked surprised, depressed even

"Why would Seulgi-unnie do something like that...? It's awful"

"Many things changed, Sooyoungie... Junghee's father came back from nowhere and I let him enter. After that, Seulgi wasn't the same"

The model girl's gaze took a 360 degree turn almost immediately. Worry was transformed into determination and fire, the same look that Wendy only saw her use during her photo sessions

"Did you seriously forgive that guy? Unnie... "

Wendy felt almost humiliated without a word, she shrugged her shoulders and shook her head slowly

"Of course not... but we're not talking about forgiveness, Sooyoung. I want Junghee to have his father and grow up with him... there are things that Seulgi can't give him neither me, and you have to accept that reality, ok? Junghee needs that besides... Junghee isn't Seulgi's son"

"Please, unnie." Sooyoung sounded annoyed, her normally sweet voice was cold and voracious now. "Seulgi-unnie has been there for Junghee since before he was born and it was her who gave him everything he needed... to you too. You can't do this. Junghee doesn't need his father"

Wendy felt the guilt eating her insides but, at the same time, she defended her idea firmly as a soldier on the front

"You don't understand" the businesswoman sighed "I grew up without my mom, she died when I was seven years old. Every day I needed her and I always missed her. Dad loved me but I felt pain every time some child talked about their mother... I always wanted to have my mother with me and I would that Junghee went through the same thing. I don't want him to suffer"

Sooyoung's fierce look softened a little but her voice never lost the determination from before

"Unnie, you're already making him suffer" Sooyoung came up to Wendy and took her hands, making eye contact "Seulgi-unnie and you are practically soulmates... you need to talk and understand each other. Each person is different, ok? And I'm quite sure that Junghee didn't miss that man"

"How do you know? You aren't him"

"You aren't either, unnie and for some strange reason you know that he needed his father"

Wendy was completely silent. Sooyoung continued

"What did Seulgi-unnie said? Why did she use coke? Did she explain something to you?"

"No... she didn't... I didn't give her time to explain anything"

Wendy was hurt by the long sigh that Sooyoung let out without looking at her face

"Talk about this with Seulgi-unnie... maybe it's not too late. Both made mistakes and you have to solve them, ok? For your relationship. You're married, unnie! Where is your communication?"

The businesswoman nodded a couple of times and tightened her grip on Sooyoung's hands before giving her a small smile without much encouragement, made of mere courtesy. Her thoughts didn't vary much from his initial idea

"I will, Sooyoung. I'll talk to her"

* * *

"I'm here. What do you want?"

Wendy called Seulgi a day before. A call full of awkwardness and empty silences that hurt like swords piercing the skin. Both now were in the living room of the house someday they shared, Junghee slept peacefully in his room because it was two hours before midnight and the next day he had to go to school. It's been two days since Sooyoung and Yeri met with both

"I want to hear you" Wendy had her arms crossed over her chest, as if hugging herself. The white wool sweater barely covered her from the inexplicable cold she felt "I want to know what's behind all of this"

Seulgi stared at her for what seemed like hours, Wendy began to feel uncomfortable under the look that on other occasions gave her a lot of reassurance

"Isn't it obvious?" Seulgi spoke in a cold, husky, uninteresting voice "That guy comes back and you give him a chance... I was left out of my own family, Wendy, don't you see? You didn't even ask me if I agreed with your decision, you just did it and suddenly that idiot has more rights than me despite what he did to you"

Wendy let out an incredulous laugh. She kept hugging herself

"Are you telling me that all this is due to jealousy? Did you do it because... you're jealous of him?"

Seulgi opened her mouth in surprise and a painful moan fell from her lips before her eyes filled with tears and two silent drops streamed down her cheeks. In the back of her heart she couldn't believe what she was hearing and the coldness with which Wendy was treating her, as if her addiction was only a passing tantrum after breaking her favorite toy.

"Why would you be jealous of him, Seulgi?" Wendy defended her argument "He didn't come looking for me!"

"It's not jealousy!" Seulgi exploded, her voice shattering. "It's the fact that you're taking away everything we build, Seungwan! I took care of you when he turned his back on you! I worked for you until I was too tired! I raised Junghee as if he was my son! Why I don't deserve a second fucking chance?!"

Wendy took a couple of steps back, scared by the emotional reaction of Seulgi who had never been that way before. She felt her own tears on the verge of falling

"You did all that because you wanted it, Seulgi!"

"I did all that because I love you! I've loved you since the first fucking second I saw you and I would do all that again! Because I love you!"

Wendy didn't hide her crying anymore

"I just want the best for Junghee, Seulgi... you know how bad it was for me when my mother wasn't by my side. I don't want him to live that... "

"Why do you trust that man so much? What makes you believe that he loves him now? What the hell does Junghee need for you to believe that he will give it to him?"

The businesswoman looked down and tried to control her sobs in order to talk

"That doesn't change that you were drugged that day"

"What did you want me to do? You didn't give me any chance, you humiliate me by telling me that I would never replace Junghee's sorry excuse of a father... alcohol wasn't enough to drown my pain"

Wendy looked up and met Seulgi's red eyes. That pair of dark orbs were asking for an immediate explanation, an aid to breathe, a salvation for the pain and Wendy was only offering her more drowning material.

"Are you still using that garbage?"

Seulgi nodded slowly

"I haven't stopped doing it"

Wendy seemed offended by the sincere answer. Now more than ever she felt the need to hug herself, she was trembling from head to toe and if it wasn't for the horrible crisis that was going on, she would have run into Seulgi's arms.

"I want the divorce"

Seulgi clenched her fists, nestling her nails in her palms without saying anything. However, in the middle of their discussion they didn't realize what was happening or the noise they were making. Said noise woke the little Junghee. He hid behind a wall and watched his parents scream and exchange words that he couldn't understand, he was crying hard but kept silent because he wanted to be brave and not cry. When he heard those words 'DIVORCE' he felt very scared, more than with any nightmare, more than with any monster

"NO!"

Seulgi and Wendy turned to look where the voice came from. Junghee ran at full speed to Wendy with her face red from so much crying, tears staining his pajamas. He got on his knees in front of Wendy and hugged her legs. Seulgi immediately walked to him trying to pick him up but the boy clung to his mother's legs as if his life depended on it

"Please no! Don't leave Teddy, Mommy. Please! I don't want Teddy to leave forever! Please!"

"Jungie" Seulgi choked the sobs in her throat so she could hold the little boy in her arms "Don't do that, baby... please"

Wendy looked in shock as she stroked the soft dark strands of her son's hair and tried not to be deeply affected by those words as painful as a shot through the heart. Seulgi managed to take Junghee in her arms and hug him, clinging to him as if he was the best dream in her life and she got lost in the soft scent of fabric softener

"Mom didn't want to say that, okay?" Seulgi tried to repair the damage "It's not true, Jungie... everything is fine"

"But you and Mom were fighting and I'm scared, Teddy" Junghee grabbed Seulgi's neck and hid his face between it. "You don't live here anymore and Mommy doesn't want me to go out with you anymore and-"

"Hey, Jungie. Look at me" Seulgi broke away from his little body so she could take hia face between her hands and wipe away his tears. He was shaking, genuinely scared of what could happen and Seulgi felt even worse than before... she could do much more to take care of this child. She had to protect him. "Do you remember that I asked you if you trusted me?" Junghee nodded. "Everything is fine, okay? Everything will be fine and you and I will be happy. Nothing will break us apart, ok? It doesn't matter what happens with me and mom, you and I will continue to be best friends"

Junghee nodded again, perhaps feeling confident after listening to Seulgi and feeling calm by her words that tried to give him security. Seulgi knew Junghee was still a baby but that didn't mean he was an idiot, children were treated like children but they were expected to behave as adults and that was horrible. Seulgi wanted to start treating Junghee in a less naive way

Wendy and Seulgi left their discussion half-heartedly and without conclusion. The composer just took care of Junghee until he was asleep and sure that things wouldn't change.

Now Seulgi was at the front door of the house, about to leave. Wendy looked at her back

"Seulgi... I don't hate you, I could never"

"I want to forget that someday you made me happy" Seulgi didn't turn to look at Wendy, perhaps afraid to be fragile and break "And I just hope he doesn't break your heart once again, Seungwan..."

Wendy took a step forward but stopped. For some strange reason his feet didn't respond

"The last time I healed you but this time... I'm sure I won't"

Seulgi left the house with a soft slam Wendy burst into tears in the middle of nowhere, her hands covering the sound of her sobs so as not to give more explanations

* * *

Three long months went by

Seulgi worked on the song she was composing for Junghee. She must have finished it more than two months ago, for the little one's birthday, but her mind just couldn't work in the middle of all the pain and the thick red clouds full of anger every time she saw the image of Wendy so sure of herself, so full of impudence

_"I want the divorce"_

Damn, damn, damn Son Seungwan. Cursed the day she fell in love. Cursed the day she choose to give her life for her. Cursed the day she took possession of her heart and left forever with it

In front of Seulgi was a music console, the smallest with which she could work in her seedy apartment. A notebook was open full of notes and the lyrics of the song she had prepared. On the other side, a microphone rested ready to record. She would use her best vocal techniques to bring this little Frankenstein to life.

Suddenly she felt something dripping from her nose and ears. Feeling weid, she brought her fingertips to both

When she saw her fingera she found blood

Fuck... she never thought it would be so bad. She had stopped using that garbage for three months. Why didn't anything change?

Cursing under her breath, she got up from her seat in front of the console and took some napkins to create a kind of plugs. Two for the ears. Two for the nose. The paper quickly dyed red but Seulgi could care less and went back to sit in front of the console. This time she would end that song even if it was the last thing she did. She had already failed Junghee so much as to keep failing more and more, he didn't deserve to be disappointed like that.

She took a pen and finally set out to title the song:

_"Turning Pages Of The Memories"_

The seconds turned into minutes, the minutes in hours, the hours in a whole day and finally the song was ready. With a wide smile, Seulgi got rid of her plugs, ready to give one last listen to her song

Hee phone started ringing and she felt that every ring took away years of life. She listened to it far away, too many miles away from her head instead of being right next to it. Growling with a headache that pierced her skull, she took the device between her hands and answered in a hoarse voice.

"What?"

 _"Seulgi"_  the voice on the other side was feminine, a barely audible whisper that tried to hide a sob and pretend to be strong  _"Where are you?"_

Maybe it was the fact that she hadn't slept at all or that her brain wasn't working well because of the headache 'cause she couldn't recognize the voice behind the phone

"Who the hell is this?"

 _"Wendy. Seulgi, where are you?"_  
   
Wendy ... the name almost slips from her lips with rage. This woman seemed to enjoy as she watched Seulgi life go down the drain and her drug addiction had been so strong that every fucking day she got up with blood running down her nose... she couldn't complain though, Wendy hadn't known nothing of her in all this time. Seulgi soon felt the rage piled on her chest

"What do you want?" Her voice was tough

 _"It's Junghee"_  Wendy broke again behind the phone, unable to contain her own feelings despite her wife's reply  _"He... Seulgi, he needs you. We both need-"_

Wendy couldn't finish before Seulgi interrupted her

"He is sick?"

_"What?"_

"What hospital are you in?" Seulgi said through clenched teeth, losing patience "Tell me, quick. He is sick?"

 _"N-No!"_  Wendy cried desperately behind the phone  _"He just needs you"_

Seulgi hung up and immediately got out of bed, she had completely forgotten about her headache as she set off the rusty shower in her bathroom and shed the traces of tobacco and alcohol that remained on her body with a quick shower. Fifteen minutes after the call she was already on her way to the house she had once shared with Wendy.

Soon she arrived at the place. She rang the bell insistently, over and over and over again as if she was making a prank. A few minutes later she heard the sound of someone opening the door

There was Wendy. With red eyes and a red nose from so much crying. Seulgi wanted to make fun of her but she didn't have the heart to do it because even now, even at this moment where her chest was full of rage, the only thing she could think about was how much she loved her. She walked past Wendy and ignored her, about to climb the stairs to go to her son's room but Wendy took her by the wrist and stopped her.

"Seulgi, don't you... don't you want to know what happened?"

The composer turned around with her fists clenched  
   
"What the hell happened to Junghee, Seungwan?"

"He... hasn't stopped crying"

"Why?"

"His father left, this time he's really gone... he made a fraud with one of my shops, took four million and just left him. I know he feels lonely but he hasn't let me talk to him... he doesn't even want me to be near his room"

Seulgi tried not to explode in rage but the lack of sleep and cocaine made her be cruel, be  _realistic_

"There is your damn hero without a cape" the composer answered "Now Junghee must feel confused by what is happening. He must feel worse than garbage! What the hell did you think would happen if his father came back? A happy family?"

Seulgi was furious. Wendy opened her eyes with pain and surprise in her eyes after the hurtful words

"Seulgi... I-I'm sorry"

"Sorry, sorry. That's not a valid excuse, Seungwan! And now that?! Are you happy that Junghee ended up like this?! Are you?! Where the hell is that guy now?! Ahhhh, I forgot... the bastard just fucked you and took four million out of your wallet!"

Wendy now cried uncontrollably, the sobs shaking her body with force while Seulgi just looked at her without a hint of pity in her eyes. What a small world and how ironic life could be... three months ago it was Seulgi who cried and Wendy the one who said hurtful words, the one who humiliated her and blamed her for the current situation

_How does it feel to have a broken heart, Seungwan?_

Seulgi left the hopeless and sobbing mother in the doorway of the house before walking to Junghee's room feeling her heart shatter at the thought of how bad he should feel. Now that she had a cool head she realized that she had been too cruel to Wendy and that it wasn't the best way to solve everything, she had spoken her rage instead of her heart

She had to solve one thing at a time

The composer opened the door of the small room. The curtains were open and all the sunlight came in without a filter, the place hasn't changed during all this time: there were the posters of his favorite baseball teams, the photographs with his parents, toys and a desk still too big for him. Junghee was on the bed with the blankets covering him completely. When he heard the door, his eyes opened and as soon as he saw Seulgi his pained face changed to a brighter one

"Teddy?" He said in a hoarse but excited little voice.

Seulgi had to bite her lips to keep from crying. She put on her best smile and approached him to kiss him on the forehead, his skin felt cold despite the blankets and she wanted to do everything possible to give him a little warmth. Seulgi lay down on the bed right behind him, holding him by the waist with one hand and, although uncomfortably, combing his hair with the other. She used a portion of the blankets to cover herself while the little one cuddled against her body and sighed. In the distance, Seulgi could hear Wendy's footsteps climbing the stairs slowly and walking to the room

"Hey Jungie" Seulgi said with a soft voice

"I missed you so much, Teddy" replied the boy closing his eyes and covering Seulgi's hands with his "Where were you?"

"Composing more music for you, silly" Seulgi left a kiss on the side of his face and remained in that closeness "I wrote one just for you as a birthday present and no one else is going to listen to it unless you want to. Do you want me to sing it for you?"

Junghee nodded excited even with his eyes closed

Seulgi started singing. Her soft voice echoed in the room as she serenaded the boy for whom she had forgotten her demons and fought against them.

Wendy watched them from the door

She had cried a lot since yesterday, when she learned about her great mistake, when she discovered that this man had only wanted them to make a fraud and he became her son's false friend to gain her trust, that he played with her insecurities as a mother to get money, that he snatched Seulgi's love away from her with both hands

No, she couldn't blame that guy for something she had done herself

Wendy wondered why she had taken the stupid decision to separate Seulgi from Junghee. Junghee was completely her son. Wendy had given birth to him but he still was Seulgi's son: when Junghee was a baby and cried in his crib in the middle of the night, Seulgi would take him in her arms and whisper sweet nothings he would be quiet and sleep like a log for the rest of the night. A look from Junghee was enough for Seulgi to know what the child wanted without any words. Junghee could wait hours for Seulgi to come home only to put together a pillow fort or a block tower.

Junghee was her son.

So what made Wendy believe he wasn't? The blood tie? Of course... as if a blood tie defined the relationship of two people with each other. Maybe Wendy was the one who was jealous of that connection, maybe she unconsciously tried to break what was so happy about her son and her wife instead of trying to build her own relationship with Junghee.

 _"Even without a storm spring goes and summer comes, my love"_  Seulgi sang  _"Even without tears, flowers bloom and leaves fall. Setting my longing time in the passing time, I fall asleep and dream a dream"_

Wendy wondered if that song was really composed for Junghee

"Mommy?"

"What's wrong, love?" Wendy answered with a lump in her throat as she approached her son's bed to sit on the edge, not wanting to interrupt the moment he had with Seulgi  
   
"Now that dad went away... Can Teddy come back with us? It's been a long time since she left, you're not mad at her anymore, are you?"  
   
 _No, I'm not. But now she hates me for the huge mistake I did_

"Mom and I still have to talk, Jungie" Seulgi ran to save Wendy from the uncomfortable question "You don't have to worry anymore"

Junghee nodded

"Can you sing my song one more time, Teddy?"

"Of course"

Junghee fell asleep in the middle of the song and Seulgi stopped singing to keep him curled up in her arms. Wendy watched the scene with teary eyes. How had Seulgi felt when she composed that song? That same feeling of sadness and melancholy? Wendy felt the guilt suffocating her

"Seulgi" Wendy suddenly spoke "Thanks for this"

"I don't want to hear you" Seulgi replied with the same fierceness as before, without looking into her wife eyes "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it for Jungie, because I love him and because he's my son"

Wendy felt a twinge in her chest with those words. She could almost imagine what was coming

 _Why do you care so much about what I do with Junghee?! He isn't your son!_  
   
"And I don't care if you say that 'he's not your son' shit because he is, he's been my son since forever" Wendy knew it, she knew Seulgi would say that and those were the words she expected to hear from Seulgi that day Wendy hurt her so much. "I'm not going to abandon him or break his heart like his father did. I care for him more than anything in this world and... he isn't one to blame for being born into such a fucking dysfunctional family. He just deserves to be happy"  
   
Wendy wanted to cry again. She deserved all this: she deserved Seulgi's attitude, she deserved to be on the verge of bankruptcy, she deserved to have to deal with the betrayal and the pain and the uncertainty of not knowing if her son was going to be fine because of her own neglect. All these were the consequences of her stupidity.

Because she always thought that Seulgi's love wouldn't be enough. And now she realized that she had lost it when she needed it most

"Seulgi"

There was no response to her name

"I'm so sorry for breaking your heart"

Silence

"I'm sorry too, Wendy"

Her icy casing seemed to melt for a second and even if Wendy didn't know, Seulgi had definitely missed this. She missed feeling Junghee in her arms and singing him to sleep while Wendy listened and both smiled at how beautiful everything seemed. Because they believed that they wouldn't need anything else to be happy

"You hurt me" Seulgi now started, her voice barely audible "You have no idea how much you did"

"I'm sorry Seulgi" Wendy had started crying one more time "I'm really sorry"

"I want to hate you" Seulgi continued. "But you make me so happy that I can't... I love you so much that I can't even think of hating you for being that"

More silence

"I'll try to fix everything, Seulgi" Wendy insisted

"That won't work Wendy" Seulgi answered "I already tried. It doesn't work"

Her voice was lost in the air and minutes went by before they spoke again.

"Hate me" Wendy spoke with determination "Hate me all you need. I deserve it"

"Is not enough"

"Then... hurt me"

* * *

Wendy felt her back hit violently against the wall of the room she shared with Seulgi and her head bounced as if it was a ball, a buzzing was present in her ears while she had half-open eyes looking at the woman in front of her... she was so angry that she almost seemed to be someone else. Her underwear was torn from a harsh pull and a hand slid under the skirt she had wrongly chosen for this day, said hand slowly stroke her center and tear a strong moan out of her lips. Suddenly, a painful burn filled her core when two fingers made their way inside without any preparation

"Seu-Seulgi. Stop... it hurts"  
   
Wendy couldn't hold a gasp coming from deep in her chest. Seulgi gritted her teeth as she moved her fingers from the inside out with an uncharacteristic roughness. Wendy clung to her shoulders with her nails as she lost balance in her legs and almost fell if it wasn't for the strong grip her wife had on her waist

"It hurts, huh?" Seulgi hissed. "Didn't you want me to hurt you?"

Wendy felt the tears in the corners of her eyes, she couldn't stand the incessant burning in her insides and she wasn't enjoying it in the least. The voice in the back of her head kept saying that she deserved it but her body was pushing back the violent intruder with each thrust. Seulgi ravaged her neck, biting every corner of it as if her life depended on it, leaving bitemarks on each piece of skin making sure to cause pain, making sure to hurt

At least that's what Wendy thought until Seulgi crooked her fingers and touched that special spot inside her. The brunette woman threw her head back, hitting it against the wall once more. Seulgi had to hold her once more by the waist while she tried to catch her breath as the pain quickly vanished. Deeper and deeper thrusts, each time making Wendy touch the sky with the tip of her fingers and she found no other way to ease her pleasure than tangling her fingers in Seulgi's hair and pulling it without much strength. She tried to bring her wife to a kiss but Seulgi tilted her head, avoiding her  
   
This time Seulgi leaned to her ear, biting her lobe passionately and without hurting her

"You're mine"

Wendy's mouth was open, completely surrendering to the pleasure she was feeling and that seemed not to stop even if she tried to control it. She tried to calm down and make this last because she didn't know how much time would go by before she could have Seulgi all for herself. She had no idea if Seulgi would be with her the next morning. Wendy nodded, still lost in ecstasy

"Yours Seulgi... nobody else"

Seulgi got away a bit from her body so she could look into her eyes. Wendy was lost in a sea of dark emotions... god, she wanted to kiss her until neither of them had any breath. She tried one more time and leaned over to capture her wife's lips but Seulgi refused again. Once again they looked into each other's eyes

"You don't deserve it" Seulgi hissed again "You don't deserve to kiss me after what you did"

Seulgi twisted her fingers inside Wendy's body, the woman gasped hard when pain filled her one more time

"Se-Seul!"  
   
"Did you moan like that when he fucked you? Did you scream his name like this?"

"No! We never had sex!"  
   
"How can I believe you, Wendy?" Seulgi's voice now sounded hurt, as if she regretted everything. "How can I believe after what you did?"

"Let me kiss you Seulgi... just let me kiss you and you'll understand"  
   
Seulgi shook her head several times and again curled her fingers to hit Wendy's most sensitive spot and make her melt in her arms. Her moans increased in intensity and became higher, she kept calling her name as if it was a spell and after throwing her head back her body shuddered with the powerful orgasm that hit her from head to toe

Wendy lost strength in her legs completely and clung to Seulgi to keep from falling. Her wife immediately hugged her by the waist and kept her upright, cradling her in the warmth of her arms as the ravages of her orgasm went by. It took a few minutes for Wendy to comeback to reality and now it was her who took the first step, pushing Seulgi to the bed and straddling her lap.

Wendy held her face between her hands and Seulgi began to stir under her body wanting to get rid of that contact. Her wife no longer allowed it and what she did was capture her lips between hers and kiss her, kiss her without the roughness with which they just had sex. It was filled with passion and desire, with a tenderness so characteristic of them and that was lost in the emptiness of pain and tragedy for months. Seulgi immediately collapsed in the kiss, moving her lips as if there wasn't another time for it, finally letting herself lose to her true feelings.

Seulgi didn't hate Wendy no matter how much she hurt her, she couldn't hurt her no matter how hard she tried. In her heart was only love, the same feeling that made them overcome a thousand and one difficulties no matter what they were. The same feeling that made them return to this place and return to love despite the wounds and mistakes.

Seulgi felt her tears spill without a single sob, staining Wendy's hands on her cheeks. The only thing the composer did was hug Wendy with both arms around her back, drawing her to her chest without ever letting go... Wendy's lips were like an oasis in the middle of the desert, they were all that she needed, they were the answer to her insecurities and questions

Wendy was kissing her with love, a love that was only for her  
   
Both broke the kiss when they were short of breath. Wendy laughed as soon as she saw that Seulgi was crying and she herself felt her own tears running out of her eyes. With her thumbs, she cleaned all trace of crying from her wife's heated cheeks

"Seul... Why are you crying?"

"That's why I didn't want to kiss you, you always end up defeating me when you kiss me" said Seulgi while resting her head on Wendy's chest "You break me"  
   
Wendy combed a few strands of her hair and left a kiss on her head.

"And you know what's the worst of everything?" Seulgi continued. "I don't care. I don't care if you tear me to pieces if that means you'll stay with me in the end"

Seulgi closed her eyes, her ears getting lost in Wendy's heartbeat as she slowly caressed her head and both finally felt complete, both could finally fill that hollow spot in their chest

"I love you Seulgi" Wendy muttered, kissing the crown of her head once more "I love you"

Seulgi just wanted to stay forever in that moment. Save those words forever

"I missed you so much" the composer whispered "I miss hearing your voice... hearing you say that you love me, you have no idea how you make me feel"  
   
Seulgi was the one who kissed her wife softly. They looked at each other in the eye without the lust and frenzy that seized them a few minutes ago.

"I, Son Seungwan, accept you, Kang Seulgi as the light of my days, my dawn and my wife. In sickness and in health. I promise to protect and guide you every day of my life: when gold starts to rust and times become suffocating, even if diamonds vanish and we only have coal. Regardless of what life send, hurricanes or spring days, I'll stay by your side and love you. Every day, I'll love you the same"

Seulgi smiled gently and stroked her wife's cheek with the back of her hand

"I, Kang Seulgi, accept you, Son Seungwan as my friend, my soul mate and my wife. I promise to take care of you, protect you and praise you all the days of my life, in good and bad times: when the lights start to dim, I'll guide you through darkness, if you don't have a dime to your name I'll still love you and if the world falls apart, when all the chaos goes by, I'll take you by the hand and build a place for us together. I hope you love me the same"

Wendy giggled as she wrapped her arms around Seulgi's neck

"You still remember them?"

"How could I forget them?"

"I'm not going to let you go again" Wendy whispered, her fingers coiled under Seulgi's blouse. "Forgive me for making you part of my insecurities, forgive me for hurting you with my lies, forgive me for walking away from what you build, forgive me for not listening until I had no choice"

Seulgi took one of Wendy's hands in hers, where she had their wedding ring. She kissed her knuckles softly and nodded

"It doesn't matter anymore... I promise that I'll recover and then this will only be one more test. Like those days where we had no food or money"

Wendy smiled

"Let's heal together, Seulgi"

* * *

Inside a pillow fortress, Wendy, Seulgi and Junghee were having a conversation

"Teddy is feeling better?" Junghee was lying on his stomach on pillows and thick rugs. Seulgi and Wendy were at his side, cuddling under a blanket

"Teddy is about to heal completely" Wendy said happily as she looked at Seulgi. Junghee didn't know about Seulgi's addiction so they explained that she must go to the 'hospital' for a few months to be cured. Seulgi was about to finish her rehab

"Just a little bit more" Seulgi made a gesture with her fingers "Soon I won't have to go to the hospital"

"Cool! Does that mean that I'll have a brother?"

Wendy coughed while Seulgi almost choked on her saliva

"Who told you that, Jungie?" Wendy asked, feeling the blood pool at her cheeks

"Well... Sooyoung-noona said that once Teddy came back from the hospital you two wouldn't stop... uhm... how was it? Oh yeah! Making babies!"

Seulgi erupted in laughter as Wendy covered her face with both hands

"I thought I would have this talk with you until you were sixteen, Junghee"


End file.
